Green
Author's Notice: Green is a fanfic based on the Beyblade universe. This story is a love story between Kai, Tyson, and Max. This story is classified as yaoi. If you are unaware of what this is, it is a term for boy/boy love in anime, manga, and other media. Another term for it is slash if you are more accustomed to that. This story is rated PG-13 only for a few cuss words here and there and a little violence. There are no explicit scenes of sexual nature, not even a make-out session. I don't do lemons. If you are offended in any way by anything I have just spoken of, then this story is not for you, and I am sorry.
Chapter One: A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed
He'd been so quiet lately, so eerily quiet. He kept to himself all of the time, didn't eat, barely slept. This was the epitome of what Tyson was not supposed to be. It worried him. He hated to admit it, but this drastic change in his long time friend scared the hell out of him. He was always wondering about Tyson, why he changed, why all of a sudden? Up until a week ago he was the cheery, loud, obnoxious, annoying, possessor of the bottomless pit of a stomach, Tyson, Kai had always known since they met in the Beyblade arena for the first time so long ago.
They were both freshmen in college. This was supposed to be one of the most fun times of their lives. They were even so lucky as to get dorms in the same hall. Sure, they didn't share a room as they wanted (well Kai didn't admit to wanting it, be he did too) but they were very close to each other, only a short walk away. Kai thought life was perfect for them. He thought Tyson's mind was on the same track.
Apparently Tyson's train crashed and it seemed Kai could do nothing to help him. He actually tried to help him. He actually made an effort. Kai, the heartless, selfish, beyblade champion, was showing that he cared and this still had no effect on Tyson. The silver haired boy laughed, joked, and smiled cheerfully at every chance he got. Albeit, he didn't do this while in a large group and preferred to show his weaknesses when he and his colleague were alone. He still tried much harder than anyone could ever expect him to. It actually made other people start fretting over Kai's mental stability.
Now Kai lay on his bed lazily, hands behind his head on his pillow with a calculus book opened on top of his chest. He was too aggravated to study. His eyes were focused on the ceiling, his attention focused, as it always was now, on Tyson. Suddenly he growled, shooting upright in bed, slamming his fists down into the mattress. His book fell from his chest off of the bed with a loud thud. He stared at his lap through flaming orbs, breathing heavily.
He raised his hands to his face and buried it in them, biting down hard on his lower lip, making it sting. He took the pain, biting down only harder and digging his fingernails into his cheeks now. He just kept thinking, this must be still less than half of the pain Tyson feels now. I deserve this, he thought. Tyson's pain should be mine, he thought.
Why did Tyson have to carry such a heavy burden all by himself? Why wouldn't he ask for help? He was always the one preaching to their little group about friendship and togetherness. He'd tell them that they'd have to work together to overcome the obstacles that stood before them. Why did Tyson become such a hypocrite all of a sudden?
All of these thoughts only made Kai more frustrated and angry. He threw his hands back down into the bed, nails digging in further as they scraped down his face. The scratch left bright red streaks from the sides of his face near his ears, curving over his cheeks, and down off of his chin. He shook his head violently, growling under his breath from deep in his throat.
His animal-like noises awoke the other boy in his dorm. He awoke with a start and stared wide-eyed at Kai. "Would you shut up and calm down! How many times a night do you have to do this to me man?"
Kai didn't even avert his gaze toward the other young man. He sat in a pitiful silence, wallowing in his misery, soaking in every second of it, giving only a snort as a sign of recognition to the other boy. Maybe if he felt enough pain, he would be able to take some of Tyson's from his shoulders and they could be happy again, just like they used to be. Being reserved and snappy was Kai's job and he desperately wanted it back, for Tyson's sake.
"Ok, fine. Cop an attitude for all I care, but cop it somewhere else. Go tell your sob story to that guy your always with cause I don't need this right now, I'm trying to rest up for an exam." With that last comment being said, the irritated roommate fell back down in his bed, burying his body in blankets and pillows to filter out any more unwanted sound.
"Go to Tyson...", Kai whispered under his breath. He slipped out of bed and stood up.
He hadn't tried to actually talk to Tyson about his problem. He wasn't that kind of guy. He thought that he wouldn't need to stoop so low. He did offer his help though, if his friend needed anything at all. He had left it up to Tyson to decide when to tell him about it, but maybe that was a bad idea after all. He had to take the initiative or who knows how long this great depression would last. That was it. This decision was final.
Without bothering to slip on his shoes and socks or even tidy up his wrinkled and disheveled school uniform, he slipped discreetly out of his dorm room. The halls were dark and dimly lit. It was late at night and this was lights out time. Even college boys had a curfew. The rules were strict, the school esteemed, the student's looked up to and respected. Never the less, the rules were the last thing on this young man's mind as he hastened down the hall.
Without giving a second to ponder the consequences of his actions he placed his hand on the doorknob and gave it a turn–well, he tried to at least. The door was locked. Of course it would be locked. It was twelve o' clock at night. Everyone was tucked into their beds. Their doors were locked. People did these things every day. It was normal. But he hadn't expected that. He thought it would be easier. He thought he could storm into the room, jump on Tyson, and demand to know what was wrong with him. This was why, he firmly decided, he wasn't a dreamer. Dreams always got crushed under the weight of reality.
The now totally infuriated college freshmen drew back his fist to punch the door, but stopped dead there, thinking better of it at the last minute. He simply stood, just like that, fist raised, in front of the door, frozen. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't just knock. Tyson had a roommate too, an upperclassmen roommate. He didn't want to cause trouble.
Finally his arm fell limply to his side and with a sigh of exasperation he turned around, hesitated, and began to walk slowly back down the hall toward his own dorm, his own annoyed roommate. De ja vu. The door was locked. His roommate had locked him out, or in his own absence of mind he had locked himself out.
Kai dropped to his knees in front of the door, sending his fist flying down into the hard tiled flooring. More pain. Always more pain. He deserved it. He couldn't take away Tyson's pain. He deserved all of the torture the rest of the world could give him and all of the torment he could cause for himself. This is the way it had to be. He was a lousy friend, after all.
In the dead silence of night, time seemed to completely stop. He was all alone, cold, and damaged inside and out. Maybe this is exactly how Tyson felt, except all of the time. He felt cool beads of liquid on his face, blood starting to form in his self-inflicted wounds. His knuckles were beet red. His head pounded mercilessly. Tears began to well up in his eyes.
That's when he felt the gentle touch to his shoulder. The fingertips of a creature that must certainly be an angel, pressing lightly down, sending a cold shiver and a deep warmth through his body all at once. His tears ceased immediately, but continued to burn in his eyes in his shame. He didn't stiffen but at the same time, didn't relax. He remained still, just as he was, afraid to turn his head.
"What are you doing up so late Kai?", this was a familiar voice. This was the voice of an angel. The concern in his soft tone made Kai almost start to whimper again. "Kai? Are you alright?"
Tyson didn't retract his hand, but shifted his body in front of his friend, allowing his hand to turn as he half waddled, remaining in a kneeled position as he moved. His eyes narrowed as the other boy continued to stare intently into the floor. Those eyes did not narrow in annoyance though, but a kind of fear, as his hand was shrugged off of the broad shoulder.
Kai was silent. A lump had formed in his throat, tears kept welling up out of his control. If he tried to speak who knew what would happen, who knew what kind of emotions would spring up from his eyes and from his heart. He couldn't risk revealing so much on this sad, lonely, night. Fear of embarrassment overcame him.
He felt those eyes burning into him. Tyson saw his pain, he knew it. Tyson saw his self inflicted pain. Tyson knew he was a masochist now. What would he say? Would he laugh at him? Would he cry for him? Would he sob and say that it was all his own fault, and tell him how sorry he was for causing him to resort to such means? No. That would be a nightmare. No more pain.
Kai couldn't take anymore pain. No, that was selfish. What he meant to think was that he couldn't bear to see Tyson receiving anymore emotional turmoil. His own well-being didn't matter. He'd cut off his own arm with a hack saw if it would make Tyson himself again. To see him smile, he'd give his life. He never thought in his entire life that he would miss that arrogant smile so much.
"Did your roommate... Hurt you? Upperclassmen are real jerks, I know.", Tyson sounded as if he was forcing out the words, as if trying to make idle conversation, make a diversion. "Kai... It looks more like you did all of this yourself. Your face is bleeding and so are your knuckles..." So much for the diversion.
Keeping his eyes downcast as they were would only reveal more weakness in himself, so he tilted his head up toward the one addressing him. Tyson's face was contorted in grief and sorrow. He was paler than usual and faintly purple bags had formed under his eyes. He wore a pair of boxers and a long loose t-shirt almost as wrinkled as Kai's own apparel. His dark hair, usually hidden under a ball cap, was uncombed and greasy from not being washed in one too many days. Nobody understood clearly why, but lack of concern for hygiene was frequently inherited along with depression.
"It doesn't matter Tyson. My own little altercations mean nothing. Do not concern yourself." He tried to sound serious and stern, making this an order, not a suggestion, but instead his voice kept cracking as if he were going through puberty again.
"So something terrible happened to you, something upset you enough for you to hurt yourself about it, and you won't give me the slightest clue as to what it is? This is serious! Please let me help you." His tone was pleading, like putting salt on an open wound.
Crystal clear droplets splattered on the ground at a rapid pace like falling rain. He was shocked as he realized they were pouring out from his own eyes, which he quickly snapped shut. He was finally breaking down. This was it. There was no holding back anything now. He didn't have nearly enough strength to retain all of his emotion any more. He still had enough pride though, to spin around, turning his back on the other young man who was reduced to a stunned silence.
Finally the eerie quiet was broken. "We're friends Kai. We're supposed to be able to tell each other things. We're supposed to be able to open up completely to each other. Why are you hiding your pain from me?"
"I need this.", he blurted out in between gasps of tears, practically choking on them as they streamed down his pale cheeks. "I can't help you so I can't help myself. You can't help yourself so you can't help me. I need this. I deserve this for not being the friend I should be. I can't help you Tyson. Why can't I help you Tyson?"
There was another moment of silence, and then a deep, long breath was emitted from Tyson's lips. He must've stopped breathing during the duration of their uncomfortable quiet. It must have finally hit him that this was because of him. Kai's inability to help him was causing Kai to hurt himself. He blamed himself for Tyson's pain.
Kai's cheek stung as pressure was put on it by Tyson's. He fought back the wince of pain only to cause his whole body to spasm. Tyson responded to this by pulling his face away from his and resting his chin on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around the boy's slender body from behind.
"Don't do this all because of me. I've treated you badly enough as it is. I didn't think my own depression had any effect on you, but I understand now. I've hurt you. I'm so sorry Kai. I'm so sorry... You've been suffering so much because of me and I never even noticed... I'm so self absorbed..."
There were so many things he wanted to say to Tyson now, too many things even. There wasn't enough time to get out all of his emotions in words. He slipped out of his friend's grip and turned around, locking blood shot eyes with him.
He struggled with the words at first, having trouble finding the right ones and deciding it was an impossible task. "Just tell me what the hell is wrong with you. What happened to you?"
"Will it make you stop hurting yourself like this?" Tyson raised his hand to touch Kai's scarred cheek with the utmost care, fingertips barely gliding over the wounds so as not to cause him anymore pain.
The masochist title was starting to annoy him now. He didn't actually do it on purpose. It was an accident. Sure, it was an act of absolute rage and frustration, but an accident none the less. He didn't mean to cause the pain, it just so happened that he had an easy time accepting and absorbing it once it could be felt.
Though Tyson's words irritated his wounds more than any salt could, his touch soothed him considerably; enough to convince him to hold his tongue. "My pain will stop when yours does. We're in this together, whether you tell me what's been going on or not."
Just like that he started sobbing, right before Kai. He held nothing back, not a single tear, not a fist clenched in rebellion of his body. He accepted his emotions and let them flow, let them flow right out of his eyes. He was not ashamed. Kai could only gaze at him in admiration.
He inched toward the stronger, self battered boy, and grabbed for his hands, holding them tight, almost cutting off the blood circulation in them, but neither of them minded. "I miss them. Don't you miss them? They haven't even had time to send us letters often. I miss them so much Kai... I feel like a huge piece of me is gone. I can't live without that piece. I just can't do it." He squeezed his hands especially hard now.
Kai tugged the young man forward, his body falling into his. He wrapped one arm around his waist and ran the fingers on the other hand through his matted dark hair. The other boy seemed to melt in his arms, pressing his face against Kai's chest and crying harder than before, mumbling incoherently.
Kai didn't try to speak anymore. He had no idea what to say. He didn't miss the others like Tyson did. He hadn't even thought of them throughout the whole year. His attention was focused on his schoolwork and Tyson. All friends grew apart, naturally, and it was naturally their time to part he thought. He didn't understand how Tyson was still so attached to them that it ruined his life.
By the time Tyson had quieted down Kai had fallen back against the wall and was now sitting up against it, legs spread so Tyson could sprawl out freely in front of him, half lying on top of him. His eyes were tinted pink from crying and his friend's shirt was soaking wet with his tears. He fell completely silent. He had let everything go. There was nothing else to share.
The silver-haired beyblader smiled down at him softly when he tilted his head back up to him, his swift digits never ceasing their path through his hair. His smile was a little confident now. "Our pain can stop. We can end it now."
"What are you talking about?", he asked, a little hopefully.
"I'm going to get us all back together. I know it seems stupid and impossible, but I'll make it happen. I can even promise you, if you promise me you'll get better. Will you trust me to fix all of this?"
Suddenly he was toppled over sideways. They rolled around in the middle of the hall until they hit the opposite wall with a thud and Tyson was lying right on top of him on the floor, clinging to his lightly toned body. He had tackled him in all of his sudden excitement.
"Thank you so much Kai...", he whispered close to his ear. "I promise. I trust you. Thank you so much..."
Kai blushed deeply, staring up at him through widened eyes. "You don't even want to hear how I intend on doing this?"
When Tyson shook his head innocently he chuckled in relief, because he really had no idea what he was going to do about it. It was the spur of the moment idea, but he fully intended to carry it out. It didn't matter how he did it. What his actions would produce was what he was focused on. Tyson would finally be at peace. It seemed like he already was actually, as his eyes were closed, his head rested on his chest. He had actually fallen asleep just then. He had been so deprived of it, so exhausted from holding it in, then crying it out.
Kai could only whisper... "I promise I'll take your pain away."