When Innocence is Given

By: Rabid Turtle

Author: I am afraid that my updating might become a bit sporadic for a bit. The dreaded finals are coming up and my English teacher 'conveniently' gave me two projects at the same time so I can safely say that my writing time is now non-existent for at least a few weeks. I am so very sorry for the upcoming delay and will hurry as fast as I can. Anyway, on with the show!! Kenshin's POV

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. No I do not.

Chapter 7: Of Dreams

I woke up with the most excruciating headache ever known to man. Opening my eyes I groaned.

Please, please let this be a nightmare.

Uncle Hiko was standing in front of my bed, arms crossed, a dangerous frown on his face.

" You are a complete dumbass, boy. I give you a second chance after you decide to clean up your act and stop being a drunken ass, I let you have a social life again, and look what you do with your it. You go right back to alcohol, pick a fight with some thug, and make some girl bring your ass home. Idiot! If you can't hold your liquor don't drink at all! Do you know what could have happened to you if the police caught you!" Hiko looked like he was about to smash something. I had never seen him this enraged.

" I'm…. I'm sorry…" I managed to stammer out.

" Shut up boy!! I am not finished speaking!! You think you can do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences! Do you think that what you do with your life doesn't matter? Are you that much of an idiot!?! After all that we have been through, are you that naive? If you ever pull shit like this again I swear, you will wish that you have died and gone to hell! From now on when and where you go are restricted until I say so. You disappoint me Kenshin. I thought you were becoming a man. Now I see you are still only a foolish child."

"Uncle…" I was ashamed in how small my voice sounded.

My Uncle stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind him. But he didn't walk away. I could hear him standing there, just outside the door, trying to get control over his breathing. Hiko's voice kept on ringing in my head. I had disappointed him. Those words haunted me more than anything else. The man who had raised me when no one else would, the man who helped me get out of the hell I had once thrown myself into, was disappointed in me. Disgusted with myself, I covered my head with my blankets and slowly fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I'm running, running down a hallway of my old house. It's so far that my six-year-old legs can hardly make the distance. But I have to. I have to find Mommy. Before she gets mad at me.

- - -

"I wish I could start over and try again…Kenshin." There was Kaoru and her curious eyes, eyes that demanded to be stared at. Laughing, she ran down the hallway. There were cherry blossoms falling everywhere, and Kaoru was looking up, up at the ceiling, up at the dancing petals, arms spread wide as if to give the entire world a friendly embrace. Even a six-year-old could tell that she was happy.

- - -

Kaoru was gone and there was a door in front of me. I heard crying behind it. The hallway had long since turned into a barren forest. Why had I thought the particles falling out of the sky were cherry blossoms? No, it was snow…or rain. Dread grew in my stomach. I did not want to go through the door. But I had to. Mommy was in there and I had to help her.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, empty bottles everywhere. Suddenly I was very small and had to crawl my way up to her.

Taking her hand I tried my very best to comfort her, "Mommy, mommy..."

Mommy did not look at me. She was staring straight ahead, as if I wasn't there. I started to cry. Mommy was going to get angry with me soon. She always got angry with me when there were empty bottles and empty eyes.

" You look so much like your father…every time I see you…I can't…get away from me! I do not want to see that face!" Mommy starts to cry.

- - -

I am outside going to the park. Mommy is holding my hand, smiling down at me. She is not mad. She is not crying. Today is a good day.

"You are a good boy Kenshin…" She pats my head. I beam up at her. I am a good boy. I love my Mommy so much.

- - -

"Thank you," the raven-haired girl softly whispers. My hands are on her shoulders and I know that I am clenching my fingers into her skin but I can't let go. I can't let her disappear. I need her. I need her to be real.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I woke up with a start. When would I ever stop dreaming? Slowly I got out of bed and started to get dressed when someone knocked on my door.

Hiko wouldn't have knocked. " Come in." I watched, puzzled as the doorknob turned.

" Your Uncle let me in." Kamitari slipped quietly in my room and closed the door behind him.

We stared at each other, in silence. The hurt in Kamitari's eyes almost killed something in me. Ashamed, I couldn't meet his gaze and looked out the window. Suddenly, Kamitari was crushing my rib cage with a gigantic hug.

Breaking down, I could only stammer, " I'm so, so sorry…I can't believe I…but Kaoru…I just…" The ache in my throat forced me to stop babbling.

" It's okay Kenshin. Just don't…ever scare me like that again. I really thought you were going to kill Jin'eh…" He let go of me and stepped back.

I looked down at my floor and whispered, " I would have. I would have killed him. I wanted to kill him and that scares me. And it wasn't just about what he was doing to Kaoru. I was…enraged at life. Every dark memory in me resurfaced and all I wanted to do was to hurt, to pass the pain on to someone else. If it weren't for Kaoru…I would have…"

Kamitari hugged me again and patted my hair, just like my mother used to do when I was young. "But you didn't kill. Kaoru stopped you. And that is all that matters. Which brings up a very important subject. How is it going between you two? She still edgy?"

I grimaced. " Well I haven't really talked to her since she dragged me home, but I'm guessing that she thinks of me as some drunk psycho with anger issues."

He chuckled, " I don't know Kenshin, the hero who saved the damsel is never thought of as a psycho, no matter how drunk he was at the time. I think you still actually have a chance."

" Well, I guess we will see tomorrow now won't we? But this time I think you are wrong. I totally screwed up."

Kamitari smiled and clapped me on the back, " You should learn to trust my instincts. But anyway, let's go rent a movie, something so stupid that we have no choice but to make fun of it! No, you don't have to say anything to your Uncle. I already asked him if I could take his idiot nephew out of his cell, err… I mean his room, and he said and I quote " Get that dumbass out of bed before he forgets how to walk." And so my friend, let us be gone!! Up, up, and away!!"

I couldn't help but give him a small smile. I don't know what I would do without Kamitari.

- - - - - - - - -

"Why do they call school lunch a 'nutritious meal'? Does anyone really believe that this is edible food? Sometimes garbage seems more appealing…" grumbled Sanosuke as he poked a rather questionable item on his tray.

" Then why do you eat it? Even if you continually complain about the food here it seems you spend more time stuffing your face than you do breathing! Admit Sano, you're a pig and probably would eat garbage if it were given to you." Kamitari leaned back in his chair, smirking.

Taking a huge bite of what seemed to be a burrito, Sanosuke grumbled, " I'm a growing man. Gotta eat something. And at least I'm not some pansy-boy too picky to eat anything."

Kamitari fluttered his eyes. " Well, I have to protect my figure! I can't just eat any old thing thrown my way. Only the best for the beautiful! Which also explains why you are content with slops…piggy."

Sanosuke narrowed his eyes, "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!?"

I started to laugh and Aoshi cracked a smile. Kamitari and Sano always put on quite a show during lunch. However, even their best of antics couldn't keep my mind fully occupied. I hadn't seen Kaoru the entire day and all I wanted to do was beg her for forgiveness. Sighing I shook my head. It seemed fate was against me.

"Umm…Kenshin can I talk to you? Alone?"

Or maybe it was finally all working out for me…

As if she had just magically appeared out of thin air, there she was, standing nervously in front of four guys, two of whom had mischievous smiles stamped on their faces. I blinked. Kaoru didn't seem repulsed by the mere sight of me. I took that as a good sign of her at least listening to my apology, let alone accepting it.

"Umm.. Sure Kaoru. Let's go outside." I staunchly refused to listen to the crude snickers coming from my 'closest' friends. Just what I needed…a peanut gallery.

As we silently made our way outside to the courtyard (which was more like a field in between the school buildings) I started to panic. How am I supposed to start a conversation with a girl who I had probably scarred for life because of my drunken behavior? The honest approach? ' Sooo, well I used to be an alcoholic but quit until you showed up and made me take up drinking once again!' Somehow I didn't think that was going to heal the breach in our non-existent relationship. Okay, how about I laugh it off with a ' Hey it's not every day that you get fought over by two violent drunks! Makes you feel all special inside, doesn't it?' I had to fight an almost irresistible urge to hit myself over the head. Fine. I admit it. I am socially inept during this sort of thing and I am walking into a fiasco knowingly. I am such an idiot.

Both Kaoru and I stopped when we came to a more secluded area of the school. I couldn't talk. All that was running through my head at the moment was not any humble apologies, not any begs of forgiveness, but the image of Kaoru in my dream, looking so happy with her arms spread to the sky, embracing the world and all that was in it. Dear God, how am I supposed to concentrate on ANYTHING when a wildly beautiful girl is running around in your head?

It was finally Kaoru who broke the suppressed atmosphere that had been threatening to suffocate me.

" Kenshin…I don't know how to say this right but I am going to try. Umm… I just think that in view of all the misunderstandings between us, we should just start over and try again. I know I wasn't very nice to you in the beginning and you are very scary when you're drunk but I…I still think that…that maybe we could be friends. Of course, I completely understand if you just want me to leave you alone and I will never bring up this subject again if this makes you uncomfortable. Just say the word and I will…"

I interrupted her, smiling, " I would love to start over. However, I insist that we both refuse to remember our past dealings with each other because I think they are extremely embarrassing and still make me a bit queasy. Ugh… I still have nightmares about how I heroically saved your notebook from being left behind in Chemistry on the day we first met. I honestly was surprised that you actually kept talking to me after that."

She laughed. "Well it seemed no matter what I did, fate kept making us crash into each other. Literally. And now I just can't seem to get rid of you…"

I grinned cheekily at her. Was it just me or had this entire day gotten brighter? Why hadn't the birds suddenly broken into song to celebrate this magical occasion? Where was the heavenly light that appears from the sky during miracles?

"Let's go eat. I'm sure Kamitari is tired of trying to peek at us through windows. Poor boy, he is going to ruin his hair"

She smiled. "Let's."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author: Yay!! On to chapter 8!

To Reviewers:

Prohibited: ::giggles uncontrollably:: You think this is good enough to be considered "fantastique"? What an honor! You are too good to me…

half-breed-demon-fox: Hopefully I did okay with this chapter…I don't think it's the best I have ever written but oh well…

Nekotsuki: I too got fed up with all the numerous high school fics that really were not good at all. Hence why I am writing this . Thank you for saying that I am doing better than most!! However, now I have to go and beat my ego down with a stick….By the way I am slowly but surely making my way through Tanabata Jasmine and loving every minute of it. I will review when I get caught up..

Aoshi-Sama's weaselgirl: Yes I had a feeling that you liked Aoshi more than anyone else… and I have no clue as to what tipped me off…

ScreamsOfTheDead: Aah! You changed your name on me!! I am afraid that you are not the only glomper here. I would probably suffocate poor Kenshin to death .

flaming-amber: I am curious as to what you meant by your last sentence. Do you feel that I am just throwing in people and not using them or is that just a general warning for the future? Either way I will gratefully engrave your advice into my heart.