A/N: Ooooh, I'm having fun writing this. The irony of the whole thing keeps making me laugh.

Kami-sama: God

-kun: suffix used to show friendship towards that person.

-chan: suffix used after someone's name. Is used to show friendship, but in a closer and more intimate way than '-kun.' i.e. used for close relatives or close friends.

Chapter Three: It looks like Yami Bakura has a rival in his position as Ryou's Best Friend.

While Ryou arrived at school the next day with his usual mixture of resignation and hopefulness, the spirit inside him was experiencing a fiendish curiosity, bordering on excitement. True, going to school had the downside of being surrounded by puny mortals for six hours, which always made his skin crawl. There was something about their raging feebleness which made him shudder in disgust every time they brushed past - as if, by touching them enough times, he would somehow become infected with their incompetence and idiocy. But it also meant that today he would be able to witness their reactions on seeing the corpses of three of their fellow pupils stuffed down the toilet. With luck, the likely flooding from the blocked drains would mean the bodies would be discovered within minutes of school starting. Perhaps it had already been found out – after all, what time did the tutors arrive? He hoped it wasn't too long before the pupils. He wanted to hear them screaming.

And indeed he did.

…………

"Kami! Oh Kami, it's horrible!"

Thus came the first of the many cries, which would range from simple disgust to horror to outright fainting. The unlucky pupil ran screeching from the male toilets, arms carving frantic windmills in the air. The more polite students looked up in shock at the non-usage of the customary suffix: after all, you could drop it if you were sufficiently pissed off with someone at school, but if you went round screaming 'Kami!' at the ceiling you could find yourself suffering for it in your next life.

Yami Bakura allowed himself a wolfish grin as he heard this. Oh Gods, this was going to be so funny.

"Jounouchi-kun? Are you all right? What happened?" one of his friends gabbled.

Never one to avoid the dramatics, Jounouchi made a show of panting. "Oh Kami, I've never seen anything so bad-"

Another time he might have been shaken to get the point across, but no one was going to interrupt this celebrity of his moment. Besides, Jounouchi had no intention of being deprived of his moment of attention, and milked every moment.

"It…it was so terrible…I just can't believe it…" One hand was drawn across his forehead in a theatrical gesture.

Disgusted with his attention seeking, Honda said in contempt, "Leave him. He's making a big fuss over nothing, as usual."

Anzu hushed him. "Please let him talk, Honda-kun. He's obviously been through something awful."

"I have," the hero assured the hall as one.

"Can't you just sh-"

"They're dead!" Jounouchi announced dramatically. "I saw them!"

Silence.

"It's like 'The Sixth Sense,' Honda muttered to no one. He put on a childish voice. "I…see dead people…"

Jounouchi elbowed him without making it look as if he had done anything. Over his friend's startled yelp, he said loudly, "Go and look in the toilets if you don't believe me! They're dead!"

"Who are?" Anzu whispered.

"Yoshitomi, Kuroda and Ando."

"Oh K-Kami-sama…that's…"

Several girls had burst into tears on hearing the names – the oafs had obviously been popular, although why was anyone's guess. The rest had fallen in stunned silence, although a few people with strong stomachs and little imagination/respect had sneaked off to see the bodies. The screams would start within minutes, along with mews of disgust: Jounouchi had neglected to mention the part about their heads being stuffed down the toilets. As expected, the toilets had blocked; already the water had seeped out from under the doorway and into the corridor.

It seemed like a few people were going to be late for lessons.

Nobody saw Ryou bent over almost double at the other end of the corridor, chest heaving in silent laughter.

…………

After assembly there was a massive queue forming outside the boys' toilets, the line involving more than a few girls. No one had called a cleaner yet about the flooded corridor, but it was only a matter of time.

During the muted mayhem, the five hundredth and twenty-fifth pupil came through the doors, having arrived late. As his newly polished school shoes filled with water his eyes went wide and his lips formed the words, Kami-sama. He had no way of knowing that so far sixty-three people had uttered that word today.

The late pupil waded his way through to his classroom, water sloshing audibly around the toes of his shoes and drenching his socks. His mother would have been disappointed – they were standard ankle-length white ones (the point being that such cheap material shrinks on contact with water) and had just come out of the washing machine. Carefully hitching up his trousers, which were getting small anyway, he knocked on the door of the classroom.

"Come in."

He entered.

The teacher looked up and smiled at him; he returned the gesture. "Ah, the last pupil. Why weren't you at school yesterday?"

"I'm very sorry - I was off sick. I've got a note." He dumped his soggy school bag on a desk at the front next to one of his friends, who grinned at him. Rummaging in his bag for a moment produced the note, and he ambled amiably up to the teacher.

"Thank you, Yugi-kun."

…………

By lunch-time someone had obviously gone running to the teachers, for an 'Out of Order' sign had been pasted on the door of the boys' toilets, and when Yami Bakura sneaked inside he found that the bodies had been removed, although not the hideous smell.

With no spare toilets for the male students of the school, the teachers were resigned to having to share theirs with them. More than one male tutor was seen to curl his lips in disgust when he came in to find adolescents crammed full of testosterone hanging about.

Ryou had lunch on his own, as usual, on a table away from everyone else. It wasn't that he had a particularly solitary personality – simply that he was too nervous to ask if he could share a table with anyone else.

"Hey, Ryou-kun!"

He flinched slightly as he turned, as if expecting to be hit in the face with an unwanted sandwich. It had happened before.

Yugi came over to him, round face all smiles. "Why are you always over here on your own? Come and sit with us!"

"R-really? Arigato!" Hardly able to believe his luck, he picked up his tray and followed the boy to where he and his friends were sitting, feeling as if he were in a dream.

((Who is he?)) Yami Bakura demanded.

(He's called Motou Yugi. He's really nice, and popular. I've never sat with him before.) His host sounded slightly dazed.

The spirit shrugged mentally at how anxious these silly little mortals were to be liked, and watched in little interest as they sat down.

"What lesson do you have after lunch?"

"Biology," Ryou said through a mouthful of peas.

A gasp of delight. "Wow, I have that too! Looks like we'll be together!"

They made a good pair, the spirit of the Millennium Ring thought in tired amusement. Their overwhelming enthusiasm for everything and genuine naivety seemed to mean they would agree on nearly everything.

"Really? Wow!"

At least their conversations would be harmless, if predictable, Yami Bakura thought with a sigh.

"So what did you do in the holidays?"

"Nothing much. Oh wait, my granddaddy gave me this weird necklace. At least, he said it was a necklace, but I don't think it is. It doesn't look like one."

Ryou was about to interrupt with how he had a new necklace as well, and the darker aspect of his personality was forced to jump in quickly and take control, so that all Ryou could do was grin like an idiot.

"I mean, it's only a load of pieces at the moment. But I think they're supposed to fit together to make a shape or something. Like a jigsaw puzzle."

"Oh." Ryou only had a vague idea of what Yugi was talking about, so he nodded and tried to look interested.

"It sounds strange, I know. But it's kind of fun – trying to put it together. Even if it is really hard. I think there might be some pieces missing or something."

Just then, the bell rang for the end of lunch.

"Oh! I didn't realise it was so late already."

"It's been nice talking to you, Yugi-kun." Ryou got up to leave.

"See you in Biology, Ryou-chan."

Yugi turned, too quickly to see the boy flush crimson, and a second later a smile bigger than a peeled banana spread over Ryou's face at Yugi's choice of suffix. "Ryou-chan," he repeated to himself shyly.

Someone banged into him, nearly knocking him to the floor. "Arsehole! Get out of the way!"

"S-sorry."

…………

Ryou was even more talkative than usual that evening, telling his 'koe' every little detail about his conversation with Yugi - as if the spirit hadn't even been there.

(It was so amazing, spirit! He asked me to sit with him! Me, sit with him!)

((I guess this means he wants to be your friend.))

(Do you think so? I mean, I hope so, but I'm kind of nervous. You don't think he just felt sorry for me or anything?)

Yes. ((No, of course not.))

A sigh of relief. (Phew. I'm glad. I…I just can't believe he used 'chan'! He called me Ryou-chan!)

Yami Bakura stifled a yawn. ((That's wonderful.))

(I know! I think he does actually like me!) Ryou sounded thrilled at the prospect. (And then I'll have a friend! A proper friend! Daddy will be so pleased!)

((I'm very happy for you.))

(I don't mean that I don't have any friends already.) Ryou's tone dropped, turning secretive. (You'll always be my best friend, koe.)

((Yippee.))

Ryou was obviously thinking hard. (Maybe you can be my best friend at home, and Yugi can be my best friend at school.)

((Fine with me.))

(Is it? That's good. I don't want you to feel left out or anything.)

Then, to the spirit's horror, the boy came over and hugged him tightly. He wondered in a dazed way how it was actually possible to hug someone who didn't happen to be physically solid, but Ryou seemed to manage well enough.

Finally he was released, and it took all of his self-control not to brush himself down.

(You're so nice to hug, koe.)

((I'm so glad,)) Yami Bakura gasped in a strangled tone.

(So am I.) Ryou beamed at him.

…………

The floors had been mopped fastidiously and Yami Bakura noted this with a tinge of disappointment. The teachers had been in a flurry yesterday: after a hasty meeting, phone calls had been made to the parents of the three dead boys, and the atmosphere of the whole school was solemn, mournful, numb.

Yugi had been informed by Jounouchi, and his face had puckered into one of typical sorrow, hiding the relief within. He too had had problems with bullies.

Ryou had been taking books out of his locker in preparation for the next lesson (Japanese) when the bewildering bulges appeared in his shirt.

"Wha-"

A second later, after hastily glancing round to make sure there was no one about, Yami Bakura had whipped out the Millennium Ring, and stared. The tines, which had previously been hanging loosely down, had reared up and were standing erect, unaided – spread out in a fan shape. His eyes grew wider as they twitched as if receiving radio signals and pointed, as one, ahead.

Tentatively he tried to push one of the points back down, but it was as if it had been moulded into that shape, and refused to move. He suddenly noticed the whole object was glowing, like it had been plugged in to an electrical socket, and dropped it. The word 'radioactive' was not a part of his vocabulary, but it was the feeling of this nonetheless that leapt into his mind.

The spikes moved, sticking out at right angles to the rest of the Ring, still pointing in the same direction as before. The possibility that it might be pointing at something specific suddenly occurred to him and, acting on an impulse, he hesitantly held it in one hand and waved it uncertainly about. The tines swayed, tinkling against each other like wind chimes, and still pointing resolutely ahead.

Yugi, seeing Ryou leaning against the wall and frowning, obviously fiddling with something, went up to him. "Ryou-chan, you're going to be late for lessons!"

Yami Bakura jumped, guiltily, and stuffed the Millennium Ring down his shirt. "I…didn't realise. Where are we supposed to be?"

Slightly suspiciously: "Japanese. Five minutes ago."

"Oh no! Mustn't be late for that!" Yami Bakura exclaimed, doing what he thought was a pretty good imitation of his host. It fooled Yugi, who instantly relaxed. The ancient spirit snatched up Ryou's schoolbag and ran down the corridor after him.

"What were you doing anyway?"

"…Homework," the spirit lied, dragging the first excuse he could find out of Ryou's head.

"Oh."

Mumbling hurried excuses to the teacher, the two found seats next to Anzu and sat down. To his relief, Yami Bakura noticed that whatever had caused his necklace to behave so strangely had died down, for it hung flat and unnoticeably under his shirt. A glare from the teacher prompted him to grab a piece of paper and start writing down notes, as the man began to dictate information in a lethargy-inducing drone.

Running his eye over what he had just scribbled, the spirit was just about to hand control back over to his host when he realised in horror that he had been writing in hieroglyphs.

Shit!

But how the hell was he supposed to write in Japanese? He didn't know any-

Ryou did, though. And whatever his avatar knew how to do, he did as well.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, while trying unnoticeably to steal a fresh piece of paper off Yugi, he felt around in Ryou's mind and started to pen notes in Japanese. At first the characters were wobbly, in the careful, imprecise way of someone writing in an unfamiliar language, but as he became used to the style he was expected to use, it became easier. After he had managed to catch up, and the teacher had paused for breath, he felt confident enough to hand control back to his host again.

Ryou stared blankly around, not remembering how he had got here; then, as he took in the teacher and pupils around him, his eyes cleared as he recognised the familiar situation and he continued to take down notes, staring for a moment at the handwriting which was not his own.

Back in his soul room Yami Bakura let out a massive sigh of relief and, curling up on his bed, went to sleep. Who could have known trying to live Ryou's life was so tiring?

………

He was woken up half an hour later by the hated school bell, the sound circling his soul room and bouncing off the walls in a way which made him groan and turn over, fingers crammed firmly in his ears. He could hear his vessel chatting nervously to Anzu as they walked out, before meeting up with Jounouchi and Honda, who had just finished Physics.

"That was so boring," Yugi pronounced.

Ryou couldn't even remember half of it, but nodded anyway.

"I'm just so glad it's break-time. My uncle gave me last night's pizza to eat. Don't you just love cold pizza?"

"Yeah, it's really nice."

"I know. Hey, speaking of my uncle, have a look at this!" Yugi reached under his shirt and pulled out something gold. "It turned out it was a necklace after all, so I threaded it with a chain and thought I'd start wearing it. What do you think?"

"It's really cool," Honda declared in admiration.

((What is?)) Yami Bakura mumbled drowsily. He was rapidly deciding that it was no use trying to go to sleep while Ryou was at school – all those high-pitched, chattering voices cut straight into his head. ((…Oooh, gold.))

(It's pretty, isn't it? And it looks a bit like-)

Yami Bakura leapt out of bed as quickly as if he was being paid on how fast he did it. ((It…it is a Millennium Item…another one…))

A what? his mind demanded. Where the hell did that come from? The knowledge had simply appeared in his mind from nowhere; it was almost as if the sight of Yugi's new necklace had triggered residue memories, for he also now knew that his own necklace was called the Millennium Ring, and that Yugi's was the Puzzle…

((He's the vessel of the Pharaoh,)) he whispered to himself, mouth suddenly dry. Again, he had no idea how he knew this, simply that he was certain it was true. And there were seven Millennium Items in all, recognisable by the Eye of Ra carved into their gold surface, and –

Like a lake that had suddenly run dry, the knowledge was suddenly and abruptly cut off, leaving a twanging in his mind like the sound of an elastic band, swirling round and round.

Taking control, just for a moment, he met Yugi's eyes. Something flickered in the boy's expression as their gazes locked – something that might have been recognition. Yugi's eyes widened, and he seemed about to say something, even as Yami Bakura slipped back into the deeper recesses of his host body's mind. But one thing had been made clear: whoever this Pharaoh was, he hated him. No, that was too vague, too common a word. He loathed him; every particle of his spirit being despised this vestige of the Pharaoh, hiding behind a young little boy as he himself was doing.

He let Ryou stare innocently at the Puzzle for a moment longer, while silently comparing the Item to his own. What kind of thing was shaped like that, for Ra's sake? You couldn't hide something as lumpy as an inverted pyramid. And the Pharaoh had poor control indeed over his host if he couldn't stop him waving the object around like a plaything.

Even from here he could make out, through Ryou, the cracks that showed how the Puzzle had previously been only so many gold pieces, before they had been painstakingly put together, solved. Was it supposed to be some sort of test, he mused: that to be worthy to wear the Puzzle you first had to put it together? Some test of competence? If so, it had failed, for this was the most pathetic excuse for a boy Yami Bakura had ever seen. His own yadonushi wasn't anything worth shouting about, but he had definitely got a better deal than the Pharaoh had when it came to host bodies.

Something occurred to him, causing him to throw back his head and scream with laughter, the sound a delirious, hysterical joy at such a triviality which he had just noticed: if the Pharaoh's new form was basically that of his host, then he, Yami no Bakura, was taller than the Pharaoh. A small detail yes, and relatively unimportant, but gratifying beyond belief. He would tower over this tiny form who had once been ruler of Egypt and was now squashed into the body of a midget. Oh, this was the most satisfying thing ever.

Ryou felt very little of his darker half's feelings, other than the fact that he was exceedingly happy, and such was the simplicity of his nature that his natural reaction was to feel happiness for his yami that he was so delighted. His other felt this, and laughed.

…………

Yugi chewed the end of his Biro (a habit Ryou deplored) and frowned as he bent over his Maths homework. He and his fellow Item-holder were in the school library, trying to finish the work they had been set at the end of class. Neither really understood the work and Ryou, who hadn't even heard most of it, was utterly clueless as to what they were supposed to do.

The Ring-holder sighed and tried to think back to what the teacher had been saying. The problem was that he simply couldn't remember: there seemed to be great patches of black in his memory (these actually signified when his own personal darkness had taken over). However, the fact that he had several rather large gaps in his memory didn't bother Ryou unduly – school was bad enough without having clear-cut recall of every second. He had probably just dozed off, anyway; it wouldn't have been the first time.

Ryou sighed again, trying his hardest to concentrate on what Yugi was saying. It would have been easier if Yugi had sounded interested – as it were, he was hardly any more enthusiastic about Maths than Ryou was.

Eventually the other boy also sighed, and put down his pen. "Let's give this up for now, shall we? We aren't getting very far."

Barely bothering to disguise his relief, Ryou also put his pen back on the table.

"Do you want to come round to my house some time? Say, tomorrow?"

"That sounds great!"

They both grinned happily at each other. Inside Ryou's head, a certain spirit was also grinning.

…………

A/N: I like the way this story is going – I'm managing to follow my original vague plot, while getting more ideas along the way. I think the next chapter might turn out to be the last, but it depends on what happens. And, of course, on how many reviews I get! So review and make me happy! I like being happy! (does happy dance around room)