Sadness

a. Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.

b. Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.

Chapter 9

It has been a week since the incident with Loose and Little C. I wake up sore and sad every morning. I've been staying with Luka and Sammy and Sammy's son Alex. Everyone decided to sign over their temporary custody rights to Sammy and Luka. They look after me full time now. I haven't been able to see Abby at all since that night. I miss her too much to eat or go to sleep. The last time I saw her I was screaming at the top of my lungs as Dr. Ross tried to suture the small gash in my head the gun had left.

"Hey! Wake up!" I am being poked by Alex. He likes to wake me up before he goes to school. He seemed so impressed by me being in the presence of a gun. It made me uncomfortable. I open my eyes. To no surprise to me, I ache all over and I feel weepy. My head is still sore from where Loose smacked me with his gun.

"Alex," I hear Luka enter the room. "Your mom's waiting to take you to school."

"See you later squirt," Alex gets up and sprints out of the room before Luka can scold him. Tears spring to my eyes as I flashback to Loose sticking his gun in my face, Abby sitting by powerless. I feel the bed dip as Luka sits down.

"Good morning," he whispers in his deep, somewhat soothing, Croatian accent. He strokes my hair and I roll over.

"There's that pretty face," he coos gently moving hair away from my eyes. I can't help but smile. Luka makes me feel so warm and safe.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asks.

"Sad," I whisper truthfully.

"You really miss Abby don't you?" he asks patting my back rhythmically. I simply nod my head. I'm afraid if I decide to talk I'll start to cry.

"You'll get to see her soon. She's healing too." I think about that for a minute. Abby needs to heal too. I just can't help but wonder if she misses me as much as I miss her. Luka grabs my hand.

"I'm sure she misses you a lot," he whispers as if reading my thoughts.

"Thank you Luka," I smile feeling myself un-tense slowly. His warmth is comforting.

"I don't have to work until 8:30 tonight so I can stay with you," Luka says. I feel a lump grow in my throat. Luka and Sammy had bended their work schedules drastically this past week so one of them would always be home with me.

It left only time in passing when Luka and Sammy would snag a kiss or two before going to work. It was usually Sammy with me during the day and Luka with me at night. This was the first time it had been flipped. I had fallen into a ritual at night. Luka would come home from his shift and Sammy would be ready to start hers. Alex would bounce into my room and sit on my bed. Then Luka and Sammy would come and tuck me in bed then sing me this silly song that Sammy sang to Alex the first time he went to camp called 'Camp Granada'.

"We can do anything you want today," Luka broke the silence.

"I want to see Abby," I quickly answered with no hesitation whatsoever. Luka gave a faint chuckle.

"Not quite yet little Carmel. Remember she's still healing."

"Then I want to go to the ER." In addition to aching from missing Abby so much, I ached inside from missing Carol and Doug and Dr. Carter and Randi and Dave and everyone else from the ER.

"You're the boss," Luka said bringing me into his arms. "Let's go catch Sam."

"CARMEL!" Randi was the first one to spot me in Sammy's arms. She ran up and smothered me with hugs and kisses. In her commotion she attracted Pratt and Deb and Chuny and Dave who all rushed up to greet me.

"Gently! You still have to be gentle with her!" Sammy scolded as Dave took me from her and held me tightly. I was happy to be back with everybody I loved so much.

It was the end of the day and I was curled up on Doug's lap in the lounge. He yawned and patted my head gently.

"You've been through a lot Carmella," he stated.

"Abby too," I said.

"Abby too," he agreed.

"When will she get better?" I asked.

"Soon," he answered.

"Ready munchkin?" Sammy hung her coat up in her locker.

"Ready," I said. Doug smiled and stood up with me in his arms. Sammy giggled as he handed me to her.

"What's so funny?" Doug wondered out loud. After giving me a kiss on the side of my head she giggled again.

"She's just too cute for me," Sammy said. Doug smiled and rested his hand on my head, staring me in the eyes. He chuckled too.

"You are pretty darn cute Carmella," he said. I snuggled into Sammy's neck and yawned.

"See you tomorrow Doug," Sammy said as we started to head out of the lounge.

"I'll walk you out," Doug said following us. As soon as we stepped out into admit my stomach dropped. Mickey was standing next to Frank at the computer with that clipboard in her arms again.

"Samantha Taggart," Mickey approached Sammy formally holding her hand out. Sammy shook it but I could tell already she was irritated.

"It's nice to meet with you again. I'm afraid I have some bad news," Mickey said.

"Concerning?" Sammy asked shortly tightening her grip on me.

"Social Services heard about the incident regarding Carmella and Dr. Lockhart last week and I have an order to remove her from your care," Mickey stated.

"I won't go with you!" I screamed, tears already streaming down my face. "I'm staying with Sammy!"

"Why does she have to leave?" Sammy asked standing her ground.

"Her life was endangered," Mickey said. "Social Services have come to believe you have Carmella in a risky and unsafe environment."

"I won't go," I repeated.

"It was a freak thing that happened," Doug argued. "We had no control over it."

"If you don't sign away your custodial rights to me tonight I can have you both arrested," Mickey stated calmly.

"No!" Sammy cried, frustrated. "This is not happening like this." Mickey handed the clipboard to Sammy.

"If you wish we can set a date for you to appear in court and see what a judge has to say," Mickey said when Sammy refused to take it.

"And until then," Sammy snapped. "Carmella's staying with me."

"I have two police officers outside that are ready to take you into custody if you do not cooperate. It's that easy Ms. Taggart," Mickey stated. Sammy slowly set me on the floor and took the clipboard from Mickey, glaring at her the whole time.

"Sammy!" I cried. I ran up to her legs and held on to them tight. "I'm staying with you Sammy!"

Doug detached me from her legs and embraced me as I started to go into a hysteric fit. Sammy jammed the clipboard back at Mickey. Then she got down to my height and took me from Doug. I hung my head and continued to cry.

"Carmella," she whispered softly. "Carmella. Look at me." She tilted my chin up and I stared into her eyes. She was crying too. I was still hysterical.

"I don't want you to be scared," she said to me. She was trying to be strong but I could tell she was on the verge of loosing it.

"I won't go Sammy! I'll stay with you! I promise I'll be good! I won't yell at Alex anymore! And I won't wake you up at night! You don't even have to sing to me anymore I just want to stay with you!" I shrieked hysterically throwing my arms around her neck.

"It's not that Carmella. It's none of those things. I love you so much. But you have to be strong for me. Can you be strong for me?" I had trouble catching my breath. But I finally nodded.

"We will fight for you Carmella," Doug said after being silent for some time.

"Let's go," Mickey said. "There's a car outside waiting."

"We're walking her," Sammy snapped angrily. Mickey shrugged and headed out of the ambulance bay doors. Sammy stood up and shared a pained glance with Doug. She grabbed one of my hands and Doug grabbed the other one. We slowly started to walk. It was the one night the hospital was vacant. Of patients and of doctors, all either on break or home.

"Hello Mudda, hello Fadda. Here I am at Camp Granada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining," Sammy started to softly sing our song.

"Dearest Father, darling Mother. How's my precious little brother? Let me come home if you miss me, I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me," Doug skipped over a few lines and continued singing.

"Come on Carmel," Sammy nudged me.

"Wait a minute, it stopped hailing. Guys are swimming, gals are sailing. Playing baseball, gee that's betta. Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard this letter," I finished the rest of the song tears still streaming down my face. We were at Mickey's car. I flashed back to the other night when I was with Luka and Sammy and Alex.

"Wait a minute, it stopped hailing. Guys are swimming, gals are sailing. Playing baseball, gee that's betta. Mudda, Fadda, kindly disregard this letter," Luka finished singing the end of the song and I giggled happily.

"Again!" I said. Alex groaned.

"That was like the 80th time!" he exclaimed.

"Haven't you had enough you silly goose?" Sammy asked. She was at the end of the bed, lying down with her head propped up on her hand.

"No," I said laughing again at the looks on Alex, Luka, and Sammy's faces.

"Well were just going to have to get those sillies out of ya," Sammy said sitting up.

"Uh-oh mom," Alex laughed. I had no clue what Sammy was talking about but obviously he did.

"Were going to have to tickle out all of your sillies!" Sammy and Luka cried at the same time and went in for the attack. I cried out in laughter as Alex jumped in to. Soon, the four of us were wrestling about on the bed.

"Alright I give up!" Sammy cried, out of breath, as Luka tried to tickle her sides. Exhausted, I rolled over into Sammy's lap and fell asleep.

Sammy held on to me for a few long minutes before Mickey impatiently opened the door to the backseat.

"Alright Ms. Taggart," she whispered. Sammy stifled a sob and kissed me again before setting me into the backseat.

"Sammy," I squeaked. She held my hand.

"I know Teddy wouldn't want to be left behind," she whispered, handing me my teddy bear. "I love you so much Carmel. And don't worry. Luka and I will set a court date tomorrow so we can get you back."

"Abby too," I insisted.

Sam nodded and kissed me one last time before slowly shutting the car door.

As always I can't thank u all enough 4 my reviews!

Dru