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Sonic woke up at 8:00 AM on the couch in his apartment with a massive headache. He picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels and stated to drink more. But the phone rang.
"Owww!" said Sonic, as the loud noise made his head throb.
"Sonic," squealed Tails, "I wanna be a rockstar!"
"Yeah good luck kiddo," said Sonic, putting on Queen's album A Kind of Magic, "I bet you'll be the next Led Zeppelin. Well, goodnight." He hung up.
The phone rang.
"Sonic," said Tails, "Be the singer in my band!"
"Ugh.." said Sonic, holding his head.
"I guess that means yes!" squealed Tails as he hung up before Sonic could say "No!".
3 minutes later the doorbell rang. He walked to get it. Tails was at the door with a red Gibson Flying V and a blue Fender Stratocaster.
"Uh. Not you again." said Sonic.
Tails ignored him and walked to a Marshall amplifier stack that belonged to Sonic.
"Hey! Don't touch that! It cost me 1200 simoleans!" shouted Sonic, spraying Tails with water.
Tails hooked up a guitar to the stack and the loud noise made Sonic's head throb from his hangover.
"Well, I know a bass player," said Sonic, picking up the phone. He dialed (701)-555-1247.
"Hey man," said Sonic.
"Hey man," said the answerer.
"Can you come to my flat man?" said Sonic.
"No problem, man," said the answerer, as he hung up.
5 minutes later, a red hedgehog with a faded Black Sabbath shirt and ripped straight leg acid washed jeans appeared at the door holding a bass guitar.
"Hey man, who's that gremlin?" he said, pointing to Tails.
"This is my estranged cousin from North Dakota, Judas Priest the Hedgehog," said Sonic to Tails, lighting a cigarette, "This is Tails. He wants to be a rockstar."
Sonic walked into a closet full of rock and roll memorabilia and pulled out a drum machine.
The band set up and started to rehearse.
But they didn't have a band name yet.
"We'll call ourselves The Cats," suggested Tails.
"No that's gay," said Judas Priest, "We'll call ourselves The Bloody Massacres."
"We will call ourselves The Potato Heads," said Sonic.
"No that's lame," said Judas, "How about The Satanic Messiahs?"
"That's too spooky-ooky" said Tails, "How about Cornbread Farm?"
"Yeah," Said Sonic, "That sounds good."
They started rehearsing, but didn't have any material yet.
"Let's cover songs by Led Zeppelin," suggested Tails.
"Let's cover songs by Black Sabbath," suggested Judas Priest.
"Let's cover songs by Queen," suggested Sonic.
"Let's cover songs by AC/DC," said Tails.
"Let's cover songs by KISS," said Sonic.
"No KISS is so gay," said Judas, "Let's cover songs by Slayer."
"No Slayer is spooky," said Tails.
"Let's write our own songs," suggested Sonic.
"Oh yeah," said Tails, "I never thought of that before."
Sonic pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote down a lyric.
"I love you, you are my one and only," said Sonic, reading the lyric.
"No, that's gay," said Judas, "How about "Oh Satan, I pray for you, Satan is the messiah."
"No that's scary," said Tails, "How about we just steal song lyrics from local bands?"
"Good idea," said Sonic. The trio went outside into a local club nearby.
Sonic quickly wrote down the lyrics as they were sung, and the next one by the band on stage called The Cats. The lyrics weren't inventive but it was okay.
They returned to Sonic's apartment in Queens, New York.
Sonic quickly began to read off the lyrics for the song they stole from The Cats, entitled "We are from Hell."
"We are the bad guys, we will, we will rock you, I like to party, I like rock music, together we can see, I am the messiah, I'm better that you, I'm going to be the next rock savior, I like you I like you, I am the champion, I am from hell," said Sonic, "What, what kind of nauseating filth is this?
"I know it sucks but we have to use it because we can't think of any original music, and besides they sucked so much that they'll never hit it big time. No one will find out." said Tails.
Tails walked to his guitar and started to play a riff.
"That's good, " said Sonic, turning on the drum machine, "Keep playing it."
Sonic walked to his microphone. He started shouting the lyrics.
"We are the bad guys, we will rock you, DA DA DA DA, BA BA BAAAAHHH! I LIKE TO PARTY!" shouted sonic, smashing a table lamp.
He directed everyone to stop playing.
"Okay, that was good enough to cut a demo and be in a club," said Sonic, walking to his phone.
He dialed a number to a nightclub.
"Hey, uh, can we play a show at your club?" he said.
"We're holding a raffle. 100 gets you a ticket to win a slot here in nine months."
He dialed another club.
"Hey, uh, can we play a show at your club?" he said.
"We're all booked for 5 months, please dial again."
He dialed another club.
"Hey, uh, can we play a show at your club?" he said.
"Wrong number."
Sonic cried and stopped dialing.
"We'll never get to play a show!" he sobbed.
The band whispered to each other and walked to the nearest nightclub.
"Hello dear, we would surely love to play a gig at this fabulous, extravagant nightclub you have to offer," said Sonic to the manager.
"Okay, I'll book you in for tonight at 7:30," he said, "Can I have all your names and your band name?"
They decided they wanted stage names, so they quickly thought of them.
"My name is Felton Gaarsland, on vocals," said Sonic.
"Cedrick Brewer, on guitar," said Tails.
"Jude Mossing, on bass," said Judas.
"Our band name is Cornbread Farm," said Sonic.
"Do you have a drummer?" he asked.
"We have a drummer named Dot Boone but she isn't here but will be here for the gig," lied Sonic, in fear that they won't be able to perform with no drummer.
"Okay then, see you in 3 hours," he said, pushing them out the door.
"We need a drummer," said Tails, sobbing as they walked.
"I know just the thing," said Sonic, pulling out a cigarette.
They returned to Sonic's apartment.
Sonic walked to his phone and dialed 555-9384.
"Hi Amy," said Sonic, in a flamboyant voice, "This is ME, Sonic, I want you to come here because I want to go on a date with you. This night, no other night."
"Oh, GOODY!" said Amy, as she hung up in excitement. Sonic make a thumbs up sign to Tails and Judas.
The bell rang 5 minutes later.
Amy appeared at the door in a pink dress and high heel shoes, grinning.
"I'm here for my date!" she squealed.
"Splendid," said Sonic, directing her into his filthy bedroom filled with empty liquor bottles, posters of classic rock bands, vintage clothes, vintage guitars, and lots of vinyl records.
Sonic grabbed her and threw her against the wall. He stiffly put his arms on her shoulders.
"Wh-wh-what are you doing!" she screamed.
"Now, listen to me," said Sonic, "Your name is Dot Boone. You play drums in Cornbread Farm. You're favourite band is Led Zeppelin. You-"
"Led…WHAT? IS THAT SOME RAPPER?" she shouted.
"Shut up, Dot!" yelled Sonic, "You want to be a rock star when you grow up. You're 19 years old, not 13. And you're playing a gig at a club with Tails and Judas."
"Ok," said Amy, not feeling angry anymore, "At least I get to go on a date with YOOU!"
"Ugh, no…" muttered Sonic.
"Hey man, what's going on in there, man?" said Judas, knocking on the door.
"Amy and Sonic are getting it on!" said Tails.
Judas opened the door.
"SONIC! OUR IUGDISHFING GIG STARTS IN 4.57 HOURS AND YOU HAVENT EVEN GOT DRESSED! WHAT ARE YOU DOING," shouted Tails.
"Not yet," said Sonic, "I need to teach Amy to play the drum beat."
Sonic directed Amy to the entrance room and told her to sit at his drum set.
"Oh Boy! These look like globs of fun!" squealed Amy, hitting the drums with her hands.
"STOP!" shouted Sonic, as he picket up a drumstick. And gave one to her.
"Now, play this beat," said Sonic, tapping a quarter note on the snare drum.
Amy tapped uneven beats.
"NO, QUARTER NOTES!" he shouted.
Amy tried again but failed.
"Come on, even Jesus can play quarter notes!" yelled Sonic.
Meanwhile…
Tails and Judas were snooping around in Sonic's messy room.
"Whoa!" said Tails, holding up a record, "Sonic has Led Zeppelin IV on clear vinyl!"
Judas opened the closet.
"Oh man, he has KISS memorabilia!" he exclaimed, "Man, what a fag!"
"Sonic smokes marijuana!" yelled Tails, holding up a bag of green leaves from a drawer.
"Sonic takes-" yelled Tails, as the door opened.
"What! What are you goons doing in here!" yelled Sonic, as he slapped Tails.
"We were just, uh, looking, for uh, some stage clothes," lied Tails.
"I finally taught Amy to play quarter notes," said Sonic, as Amy struggled to keep the beat going, "And tap the bass drum with a pedal in half notes."
"Stage clothes!" said Tails, "The gig starts in 4.39 hours! According to my book "How to Be A Rock Star, you have to look flashy when performing so record executives see you."
Sonic opened his closet. He keeps clothes that belonged to legendary front men he bought on eBay and clothes he made himself. He left the room so Tails could pick first.
Tails walked out 5 minutes later with a sparkly silver vest, satin flare pants that were black on one side and white on the other, silver platform boots, and a red bowtie on.
Judas walked in next. He came out with black spandex pants, big platform boots, and a leather jacket on.
Sonic walked in next. He came out with a spandex black and white harlequin jump suit on.
They walked over to Amy, as she screamed and stopped playing.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed.
Sonic grabbed Amy and took her to his room. He pulled out from the closet ripped acid washed jeans and a leather motorcycle jacket.
"Put these on," he ordered.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT THOSE FREAK CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTHESSSS!" she screamed.
"Put them on, or I will never, ever like you, ever again," he said firmly, but lying.
"ok…" said Amy quietly, as Sonic left the room.
She came out in a bad mood. Sonic walked into the bathroom, where he found Tails and Judas putting eye shadow on each other.
"I look so pretty in silver, don't I?" said Tails, as he applied eyeliner onto Judas.
"WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" shouted Sonic.
"We want to look fabulous and beautiful," said Tails, pointing to the book.
"Only if its to attract record executives," said Sonic.
They walked out with makeup and saw Amy sitting on the dirty couch with arms crossed.
The band took their instruments and walked out the door down stairs from the building and to the club, Sonic dragging Amy.
"NO NO NO! I DON'T WANNA BE A ROCK STAR! I WANNA GO SHOPPING!" she wailed.
"Quiet, you!" yelled Sonic.
"Sonic, why do you own makeup, man?' said Judas.
"I was saving it…for a time like this…" said Sonic, starting to cry. They entered the club.
"We're Cornbread Farm, and we're here to perform," said Sonic to the manager.
"Aha, you guys are due to perform in 20 minutes, the other band is finishing," he said.
"YOU GUYS! THE CATS! GET OFF THE STAGE! THIS BAND IS BETTER THAN YOU!" yelled the manager, even though he never heard Cornbread Farm perform.
The Cats walked off the stage in tears, because the manager was yelling at them.
"But you never heard those queens perform yet!" said one of the members, in jealousy. He had long blonde greasy hair and dirty clothes.
"Shut up! You and you're shitty band are not to come here again, EVER!" yelled the manager.
They walked out, as Cornbread Farm set up their instruments.
"Turn that down!" yelled an audience member, as Tails turned the amplifiers to 10. He turned it up about 5 notches louder than that.
The band was ready, as a guy came on a speaker.
"AND NOW, A NEW BAND THAT WAS JUST FORMED 5 HOURS AGO, COMPOSED OF FELTON GAARSLANG ON VOCAL, CEDRICK BREWER ON GUITAR, JUDE MOSSING ON BASS, AND DOT BOONE ON DRUMS……CORNBREAD FARM!"
Sonic grabbed the microphone as people in the audience made derogatory comments on his costume and makeup, and shouted, "GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!"
The band started the opening riff to "We Are From Hell", and Sonic started to sing.
"We are the bad guys, BA BA BAAAAAAHAHAHAH!" he shouted, as he pranced acoss the stage.
The crowd jeered and started to throw things at the stage, so the show stopped immediately, even before Sonic could sing more. Several men in tuxedos approached the stage.
"We are going to offer you kids a record deal," said one of then, "We're going to make you the next Led Zeppelin."
"You're stage costumes are so unique," said another.
Yes, yes, its happening, thought Sonic, he was just going to be like his heroes. Soon enough.
"Come with us," said the other.
They excitedly carried their instruments to the record executive's office. They got into an elevator to the top story.
The men presented them to the record executive, who was in a giant chair, turned opposite to them.
"Sir, we have quite a band here, they're very unique, they're going to be huge stars and are so talented," said one of the men in tuxedos.
"Okay, this better not be some shitty local nu metal band…" said the executive, turning around slowly.
"Oh my god, you are just what we've been waiting for! Another hero!" he exclaimed, "You must go to the studio and record an album immediately!"
"First, they must sign a contract," he said, handing them a piece of paper with lots of writing and four pens.
The band didn't bother reading the contract and quickly signed their stage names.
"Excellent…" said the executive evilly.
"So, when do we get paid?" said Tails.
"Tomorrow," lied the executive.