Dedicatedto Chris
The client was large, bearded, and shaggy-haired.
And, Alice was beginning to realize, drunk.
She gamely tried to carry on with the interview. "Now then, it says here you hit…um, does this say 'Mr. Wiggles'?"
"Yesh," the client confirmed. Alice stared blankly. "Clown," he supplied helpfully.
"Right. Okay. It says here you hit him over the head with a whiskey bottle?"
The man giggled weakly. "Yeah. I did do that, all right. You betcha." He sounded less than remorseful.
Nancy stuck her head around the door. "Is everything all right in here?"
Alice lifted both hands, palms out, in a 'stay calm' gesture. "Fine. We're fine."
Nancy frowned but withdrew, leaving the door ajar.
"Okay," Alice continued. "Mr. Wells: did you have any reason for doing that?" She looked at him hopefully.
"He's an asshole," said her client.
"I was hoping for a better reason," Alice said patiently. "Maybe there were mitigating circumstances?"
"I was drunk?" the man offered.
"No, look, I…" Alice began, but Nancy came storming into the office.
"Okay, that's enough," snapped Nancy. " You," she glared at the client. "What are you doing?"
"I," the man began, wide-eyed.
"I'll tell you what you're doing," Nancy went on furiously. "You're wasting our time. Our very valuable time, I might add. We're lawyers, do you understand that? This is our office, not some flop-house. If you're not sober enough to participate in planning your own defence, why are you here?"
By now the man was on his feet, backing towards the door and away from Nancy, who was no more than chest-high to him. He looked at Alice. "Maybe I should come back tomorrow?" he asked, his voice quavering slightly.
"I think that's a very good idea," said Nancy, and the client bolted in terror.
Into the silence left when her client had fled, Alice said dryly, "Thank you, Nancy."
Nancy, oblivious to sarcasm, beamed. "No problem," she said cheerfully, and left.
Outside Alice's office she sat in her unappreciated cubicle, her heart pounding oddly, and frowned. She ran through her list.
Top grades? Check. Bar exam? Check. Career as a lawyer? Underway, though no major victories yet. Savings? Growing. House? Eventually. Marriage? Also eventually, when she got around to meeting someone suitable.
'Defending Alice' was no where on the list. So why, she wondered, had it become such a priority? And why was it so satisfying?