A/n:: haha new chapter, I win!!!
Chapter two l
Ariadne Chant::
How long had Sirius had been in the Common Room? Surely not half an hour, waiting for me to wake up. So how else had he known I was crying? Sure, my cheeks had been wet, but that where the darkness had worked for me. I could not have known by just looking at me.
Unless he had touched me.
Which would almost make sense, seeing as how a touch had awakened me in the first place. But the one things that didn't make sense are the reasons. Why would Sirius, who seemed to either not care for me at all, or possible hate me, want to touch my cheek. And at the same time realize I was crying?
At dinner Sirius once again came up to him. I really didn't wish to speak with him, at all. But what else could be done? Sirius is stubborn if nothing else.
He leans in and says in soft voice, "Look, sorry for being so direct before. I-" He pauses, and looks down at the table, seeming more nervous by the second. "I was just worried. I don't know, I just wanted to be sure there was nothing happing with you. I don't want-" He stops again, but this time doesn't continue.
"Look, you don't need to worry about me, Sirius. I can take care of myself." I almost stop there, but I realize how snobby it all sounds, and I add a polite, "But thanks anyway." I push away from the table, and get up.
I try not to look at him as I walk off, and I succeed. I don't know what it is about him that gets me so nervous. Maybe it's the fact that before this, he never seemed to notice me. I don't know and I can speak plainly I don't rightly care. All I know is that I do feel this way, and that sometimes I can barely restrain myself from doing something rash.
Sirius Black::
I can do nothing to get Ariadne to open up. So for a couple of weeks I just accept that and I try to continue life. But it doesn't work, you see. I can't seem to get her out of my head and I keep track of her, almost unwittingly. I worry that's all.
And might just stay like that. Worrying without a purpose, without even a reason beyond the fact that she was crying one night.
But one day I see something that actually gives me a reason. She's outside, which isn't strange or anything. It's warm and anyone staying inside would have to be stupid. And I'm staring at her, like the stalker I am.
So I see the two guys that approach her. One has long crimson red hair that tends to hang in his eyes and a tiny silver hoop in one ear, like a pirate. I feel the urge to ask him if he got the memo that pirates were wiped out. The other guy has short, blonde hair and a hard, chiseled face. I'm not sure who they were, though I might have heard rumors of them. And the rumors aren't of the best sort. I can't hear exact words but there's such thing as body language. And I can tell they are flirting with her. Or, since this girl's name is Ariadne, well, they don't have much chance to begin with.
But, hey, you've got to give them points for trying.
She barely says anything, but they persist. I can see her eyes cold watching them, but their backs are to me so I can't see much.
One of the guys step up to her and pull her up from where she sat with her back against the tree. I decide that if I'm going to act, this could be as good time as any. So I walk as steadily as I can towards the group and-
The wannabe pirate suddenly pulls Ariadne close and I can see what he's going to do. And I know impulsively that I don't want it to happen. I know I will do anything to stop it. So I go with the simple way.
"Hello." The guy lets go of Ariadne rather quickly and spins around to look at me.
In a voice deeper than I had expected the pirate answers, "Let me guess. You're the boyfriend." I shoot Ariadne a look. Had she said she had a boyfriend? After a second of consideration I realized that I didn't even know if she did have a boyfriend. Ariadne just looks back blankly. "I'm guessing you want your whore back."
It happens so fast that I barely realize it's happening. Before I know it the whole right side of the pirates face is bright red in the shape of hand. I feel my hands shoving the pirate down and curses flying out of my mouth. But I soon leave him when I realize that Ariadne ran off. In the wrong direction.
Into the Forbidden Forest.
Ariadne Chant::
Those guys had the nerve to talk to me that way. But at first they had seemed halfway decent, you know? Probably not guys I would want fathering my children, but I guess I can't trust my intuition anymore. So I slap the bastard and run. I don't realize where I'm running until it's too late and by that time I'm not about to turn around.
So I keep running. But I stop pretty quickly, seeing as how I'm not the world's best runner. But you see, I never go into the Forbidden Forest. It holds the name, Forbidden Forest for a reason. There live things in there that I am just not ready to fight against.
So I sit down beside a huge root and gasp for breath. I guess I run pretty far for me to be this out of breath. I lean against the root and watch my surroundings with suspicion. What if I encounter a werewolf? I know I need to stop thinking of things like these, but I can't stop myself. I make up these impossible scenarios and how gory my death will be.
I know I'm lost. How can I ever get out of here? What was it that made me come in here in the first place? Was I possessed? I guess for a second or two I would have rather been killed by evil creatures than face to teenagers. What was I thinking?
But I began to hear noises. Wait, hadn't I seen Sirius when I began running? I had, but what difference did it make? Sirius wouldn't risk his life for me. But he might just get someone. Anyone. I would be found. Even the very thought of that comforted me and made me breath easier.
But the noises came closer. I was beginning to get scared again. What if something got to me before I could be found? I balled myself up into the smallest shape I could, and listened.
It sounded like a dog, a heavy dog. I held my breath and closed my eyes. Then I something soft push at my face. I begun to look up and feel the air shift. I see a dark tall shadow, and I frown. Okay, I know I had heard more than two feet, but here was a human.
"Are you okay?" I manage to get myself up when I hear his voice. I lean my back against the tree trunk and just stare at him for a little while. Why the hell had he followed me?
"Okay," he said slowly. "I'm guessing you are." I hear another noise and spin around, ready for anything. But there was nothing there and I sigh in relief. Sirius puts a hand on my arm. "Look, calm down. I won't let anything happen to you."
I give him a look of pure disdain that I don't really feel. "Look, Sirius, I don't need you to protect me. Please." I pull away from his grip. "So. In what direction's the castle?" I watch Sirius pause and I grimace. "Oh god, please, tell me you remember."
"Look, I didn't really think. I just wanted to know if you were alright." His face is full of shadow and I can't tell what he's feeling from his face. But I have my ways. I don't know for how long I've been able to read minds, but I can. I can't do it too well; it tires me out a lot. But in this case I wanted to know if he was sincere.
GOD CAN'T A GUY- JUST WANTED TO-I CAN"T CHANGE IN FRONT-SHE CAN'T- STUPID TO COME-WHY SHE LIKE-DOES SHE KNOW?
I stop reading his mind and frown. I can't seem to understand thoughts very well, so I pretty much waste my time and get very tired. I sit back down next to the root and close my eyes.
I hear a noise again but I don't have the strength to look up. I don't hear anything for a little bit, but I still can't look up. I feel like sleeping. "Ariadne?"
I jump, but expecting to hear Sirius's voice so close to my ear. I turn and the shadow that is his face is close. Too close. I get up and brush off the dirt from my cloak, even though it's not bright enough to even see the dirt.
"Ariadne, are you all right?" he continues, can't he see I don't want to talk? I'm tired. A few blinks later, not so tired, but okay.
And all of a sudden he grabs my shoulders and is shaking me. "Ariadne, what the hell is wrong?" His breath this coming out in short burst. So either he was just doing push-ups, or he's pissed off. I try to shake this off, but he refuses to let go.
"Ariadne." His voice loses the edge it had a few seconds ago. "What is up with you? Why can't you just accept the fact that there are some people out there who want to help you? You don't expect anything back. Let me just help you. Rant, whatever. Just talk to me. "
"You're wrong." I keep voice hard and make sure he knows I'm not on the verge of a breakdown. "People always want something back. Maybe not then, but eventually, they do. And I just don't fit with people, okay? I don't want to have connections with anyone." My voice begins to crack and I stop. "I've lost enough people, okay?"
"So you stay away from people because you're afraid you'll get hurt? Sometimes you've got to task risks. If you don't feel anything for anyone, what's the point of living?" But he doesn't understand. How could he?
"You don't know anything about me, okay? You don't know who I've lost, or anything else about me. Stop pretending we're friends. We're not."
I push away from him. "Just-" I ball up my fists and slam them into the large tree. "You don't grow up in a goddamn orphanage and fit in. You lose people, there. And I'm sick of it!" I run my hands through my hair. "Oh screw this."
"The way out is that way." The simplicity of his voice, it calms me down. It's not like I let him take my hand and lead me out of there. I just follow. I don't say anything. But I feel better. I've let the thing that's weighed me down for so long.
And I really feel better.
Sirius Black::
Look, problem child and Ariadne had always kind of gone hand in hand, but this was bad. She hadn't even noticed that her own hands had begun to bleed.
I had never thought that Ariadne might need help. Serious help. She needs someone pay her some mind. Because hey, maybe it's just me, but Ariadne doesn't have too many people to be with her. And with this, I might actually be the one of the people that is.
So that's what I'm thinking about when I'm sitting in the GCR.
Forgive me for not being the best of people, but I just can't start talking to her. What if other people saw me? What if Prongs or one of the others saw me? It could ruin everything. But knowing me, I know I can figure out a way to get the best of both worlds.
So when Ariadne comes in, like I knew she would, Her long black hair is down, like usual. She holds her bag possessively, like usual. Really, the only thing that isn't usual is the fact that her hands are bandaged, and that she looks right at me. I know what to do. I, as most inconspicuously as I can, call her over. She seems and seems to hesitate. Maybe baring her soul to me hadn't made our connection any stronger. Any wrong move could easily turn her away from me.
I smile. Come on, I know how to lay on the charm.
She sits down next to me and looks at me through the veil of her hair. "What do you want?" AH, it seems she on the defensive. I must change this.
"Nothing. I just want to know how you are." Kindness has got to get through to that shell, right?
"Look, I'm not a charity case now that I'm an orphan. You can just cut that crap out. I don't want your kindness, and I don't need it. Get over yourself." She stands up and glares at me with disdain. "You're no hero." And she walks away. Hey, at least I was trying. God she just can't get over her own self. I'm starting to think she doesn't have anyone because she let anyone in.
Well, no duh, I think to myself. She kind of explained that in the Forbidden Forest. She doesn't want to get hurt.
And then there's a cat. This cat is pretty white with the exception of random grayish streaks along it's back. And the cat rubs against my legs. I raise my eyebrow at the randomness of this. Most owners rarely leave their pets alone in the GCR.
"Why do you bother?" I hear Ariadne's voice and I turn around. But she isn't there. I frown and wonder where the voice had come from. Suddenly the cat jumps onto my lap and stares at me. "You're that rude?"
I jump in surprise. A cat. Talking. To me. Holy Christ. I push the cat off and get off the armchair. But the cat won't back down and stares at me some more. Her eyes are different, I guess. I've never seen a cat with gray eyes.
"Why do you bother. " I look around and no one seems to notice. Come on, someone has to notice the talking cat. But no one does. And maybe if I answer the cat, it'll go away.
"Bother with what?" I whisper so just in case I'm imagining the goddamn cat, I don't look like a retard.
"With her." She doesn't need to elaborate. I know she's talking about Ariadne. But why? What does this cat have to do with Ariadne?
"Because I want to. I can't be nice to someone now?" I glare at the cat. Why does helping Ariadne make everything suck? I should just leave her on her own.
"But you never paid her any mind before. It is pity? Because if it is, it's not worth it. Pity will not help her. But while we're on the subject, neither will you. Leave her be." And the cat is gone. Not blink- your-eyes-and-she's-gone gone but more she-walks-behind-something-and-I- can't-see-her-anymore gone.
What is it with Ariadne and weird?
Ariadne Chant::
I stare at my bandaged hands and I can't stand it. Am I really that far gone that I can't even feel when I bleed? I never felt a thing. And my hands were bloodied up pretty well. I couldn't go to the nurse she would be sure to ask questions and I can't stand interrogations. Why does Sirius torture me? It's not like I did anything to him. Is he really doing because he cares? Probably not. No doubt he told his friends and then they all decided it would be fun to make fun of the little orphan girl. I slam my hands down against my desk. This sends shiver of pain through my fingers and into my palm. I cry out in pain and curse. I hear nails tapping against the ground and curse again. I really don't need this. "So, I'm guessing Sirius actually being nice wasn't as good as you thought it might be, eh?" My cat, Isis, is back and ready to taunt me some more.
"Shut up." I don't want to deal with my cat at the moment. She tends to hate the fact that I like Sirius and she's hated the fact that I'm actually getting to know him even more.
She walks up to my bed and jumps up onto it. I'm sitting on the edge of it, and my lips tighten into a thin line to stop myself from screaming at Isis. And wouldn't that seem silly if anyone was watching [which I knew they aren't, I mean, I'm in my dorm and my dormmates hate me, so they rarely show up.] You see, when Isis doesn't want to show up, she doesn't. So I don't doubt that she's invisible right now, to the world except for me. And she's taunting me.
And all I want is Sirius.
Really. For all the indifference I show towards him, I do like him. A lot. And while Isis drones on about all of Sirius's bad points, all I can see is his face, looming towards mine, kind and understanding. Even knowing my secret, he cares. Is that so bad?
Why does Isis want Sirius to stay away? Does she want to see me unhappy, with no one? All I want is Sirius. Is that so bad?
I realize that Isis has stopped and I stop my thoughts to stare at her in confusion. What was wrong?
"You spoke that last thought out loud," she states simply. "Those last few statements." Her gray eyes, that look so much like mine, drill into my own. They are so cold and I shiver. She wants me to agree with her. But I don't and doubt I ever will. I don't understand her reasoning at all.
"Well, then you know the truth." I glare at her. "Why don't you want me to even talk to Sirius. You and I both agree I will never have a chance with him-"
"Why don't you read his mind and find out?" She is daring me to do something I am scared to do.
"You know it hurts me. I get those horrid headaches afterwards. It is really too much trouble. " I don't look at Isis because I know that if I do, Isis will know I'm lying. Which, of course she knows anyway.
"Are you afraid?" With that single statement my temper flares. I pick up a book off my desk and I hurl it at my cat as hard as I can. She dodges the book, but the action is still there. I hiss at her and say, "Next time I see him, I'm going to say I'm sorry and tonight I'll dream about fucking his brains out."
I storm out of the room, but not fast enough to escape her last comment.
"One has nothing to do with the other."
Sirius Black::
I pick up the brown book. I know that this book is the key to Ariadne. But why do I hesitate to read it? I finally grit my teeth and open the book. It's in pretty much the center of the book, and Ariadne's stiff handwriting crowds the page. I scan it slowly, expecting something boring about school. Instead I read a list of random thoughts, names, curse words and dates. It goes on for a couple of pages. Then a regular entrie begins.
'I saw him in the hallway with Eli today. Like to be her 24/7. Does she kiss him every time I'm near on purpose? Isis being annoying today, and has taken up a new hobby. A flaw finding hobby. For you know who.'
I stop. Eli? As in Elizandria, my last girlfriend? I check the date and it seems about right. But that would mean. Whoa, somehow I can't see Ariadne liking me, even if it was almost a year ago.
I flip more into the book, into the more recent entries. Some entries are like the first one I read, nothing in particular, just thoughts she writes down instead of screams. But others are regular entries. And whatever she felt for me in the first regular entry I'd read doesn't seem to go away.
Is it possible she still felt that way?
I keep reading late into the night. Eventually, though, my eyes grow heavy and the words blur. I close the book slowly and slide it under my pillow. Then, laying my head down onto the soft bed, I slumber fitfully.
Chapter two l
Ariadne Chant::
How long had Sirius had been in the Common Room? Surely not half an hour, waiting for me to wake up. So how else had he known I was crying? Sure, my cheeks had been wet, but that where the darkness had worked for me. I could not have known by just looking at me.
Unless he had touched me.
Which would almost make sense, seeing as how a touch had awakened me in the first place. But the one things that didn't make sense are the reasons. Why would Sirius, who seemed to either not care for me at all, or possible hate me, want to touch my cheek. And at the same time realize I was crying?
At dinner Sirius once again came up to him. I really didn't wish to speak with him, at all. But what else could be done? Sirius is stubborn if nothing else.
He leans in and says in soft voice, "Look, sorry for being so direct before. I-" He pauses, and looks down at the table, seeming more nervous by the second. "I was just worried. I don't know, I just wanted to be sure there was nothing happing with you. I don't want-" He stops again, but this time doesn't continue.
"Look, you don't need to worry about me, Sirius. I can take care of myself." I almost stop there, but I realize how snobby it all sounds, and I add a polite, "But thanks anyway." I push away from the table, and get up.
I try not to look at him as I walk off, and I succeed. I don't know what it is about him that gets me so nervous. Maybe it's the fact that before this, he never seemed to notice me. I don't know and I can speak plainly I don't rightly care. All I know is that I do feel this way, and that sometimes I can barely restrain myself from doing something rash.
Sirius Black::
I can do nothing to get Ariadne to open up. So for a couple of weeks I just accept that and I try to continue life. But it doesn't work, you see. I can't seem to get her out of my head and I keep track of her, almost unwittingly. I worry that's all.
And might just stay like that. Worrying without a purpose, without even a reason beyond the fact that she was crying one night.
But one day I see something that actually gives me a reason. She's outside, which isn't strange or anything. It's warm and anyone staying inside would have to be stupid. And I'm staring at her, like the stalker I am.
So I see the two guys that approach her. One has long crimson red hair that tends to hang in his eyes and a tiny silver hoop in one ear, like a pirate. I feel the urge to ask him if he got the memo that pirates were wiped out. The other guy has short, blonde hair and a hard, chiseled face. I'm not sure who they were, though I might have heard rumors of them. And the rumors aren't of the best sort. I can't hear exact words but there's such thing as body language. And I can tell they are flirting with her. Or, since this girl's name is Ariadne, well, they don't have much chance to begin with.
But, hey, you've got to give them points for trying.
She barely says anything, but they persist. I can see her eyes cold watching them, but their backs are to me so I can't see much.
One of the guys step up to her and pull her up from where she sat with her back against the tree. I decide that if I'm going to act, this could be as good time as any. So I walk as steadily as I can towards the group and-
The wannabe pirate suddenly pulls Ariadne close and I can see what he's going to do. And I know impulsively that I don't want it to happen. I know I will do anything to stop it. So I go with the simple way.
"Hello." The guy lets go of Ariadne rather quickly and spins around to look at me.
In a voice deeper than I had expected the pirate answers, "Let me guess. You're the boyfriend." I shoot Ariadne a look. Had she said she had a boyfriend? After a second of consideration I realized that I didn't even know if she did have a boyfriend. Ariadne just looks back blankly. "I'm guessing you want your whore back."
It happens so fast that I barely realize it's happening. Before I know it the whole right side of the pirates face is bright red in the shape of hand. I feel my hands shoving the pirate down and curses flying out of my mouth. But I soon leave him when I realize that Ariadne ran off. In the wrong direction.
Into the Forbidden Forest.
Ariadne Chant::
Those guys had the nerve to talk to me that way. But at first they had seemed halfway decent, you know? Probably not guys I would want fathering my children, but I guess I can't trust my intuition anymore. So I slap the bastard and run. I don't realize where I'm running until it's too late and by that time I'm not about to turn around.
So I keep running. But I stop pretty quickly, seeing as how I'm not the world's best runner. But you see, I never go into the Forbidden Forest. It holds the name, Forbidden Forest for a reason. There live things in there that I am just not ready to fight against.
So I sit down beside a huge root and gasp for breath. I guess I run pretty far for me to be this out of breath. I lean against the root and watch my surroundings with suspicion. What if I encounter a werewolf? I know I need to stop thinking of things like these, but I can't stop myself. I make up these impossible scenarios and how gory my death will be.
I know I'm lost. How can I ever get out of here? What was it that made me come in here in the first place? Was I possessed? I guess for a second or two I would have rather been killed by evil creatures than face to teenagers. What was I thinking?
But I began to hear noises. Wait, hadn't I seen Sirius when I began running? I had, but what difference did it make? Sirius wouldn't risk his life for me. But he might just get someone. Anyone. I would be found. Even the very thought of that comforted me and made me breath easier.
But the noises came closer. I was beginning to get scared again. What if something got to me before I could be found? I balled myself up into the smallest shape I could, and listened.
It sounded like a dog, a heavy dog. I held my breath and closed my eyes. Then I something soft push at my face. I begun to look up and feel the air shift. I see a dark tall shadow, and I frown. Okay, I know I had heard more than two feet, but here was a human.
"Are you okay?" I manage to get myself up when I hear his voice. I lean my back against the tree trunk and just stare at him for a little while. Why the hell had he followed me?
"Okay," he said slowly. "I'm guessing you are." I hear another noise and spin around, ready for anything. But there was nothing there and I sigh in relief. Sirius puts a hand on my arm. "Look, calm down. I won't let anything happen to you."
I give him a look of pure disdain that I don't really feel. "Look, Sirius, I don't need you to protect me. Please." I pull away from his grip. "So. In what direction's the castle?" I watch Sirius pause and I grimace. "Oh god, please, tell me you remember."
"Look, I didn't really think. I just wanted to know if you were alright." His face is full of shadow and I can't tell what he's feeling from his face. But I have my ways. I don't know for how long I've been able to read minds, but I can. I can't do it too well; it tires me out a lot. But in this case I wanted to know if he was sincere.
GOD CAN'T A GUY- JUST WANTED TO-I CAN"T CHANGE IN FRONT-SHE CAN'T- STUPID TO COME-WHY SHE LIKE-DOES SHE KNOW?
I stop reading his mind and frown. I can't seem to understand thoughts very well, so I pretty much waste my time and get very tired. I sit back down next to the root and close my eyes.
I hear a noise again but I don't have the strength to look up. I don't hear anything for a little bit, but I still can't look up. I feel like sleeping. "Ariadne?"
I jump, but expecting to hear Sirius's voice so close to my ear. I turn and the shadow that is his face is close. Too close. I get up and brush off the dirt from my cloak, even though it's not bright enough to even see the dirt.
"Ariadne, are you all right?" he continues, can't he see I don't want to talk? I'm tired. A few blinks later, not so tired, but okay.
And all of a sudden he grabs my shoulders and is shaking me. "Ariadne, what the hell is wrong?" His breath this coming out in short burst. So either he was just doing push-ups, or he's pissed off. I try to shake this off, but he refuses to let go.
"Ariadne." His voice loses the edge it had a few seconds ago. "What is up with you? Why can't you just accept the fact that there are some people out there who want to help you? You don't expect anything back. Let me just help you. Rant, whatever. Just talk to me. "
"You're wrong." I keep voice hard and make sure he knows I'm not on the verge of a breakdown. "People always want something back. Maybe not then, but eventually, they do. And I just don't fit with people, okay? I don't want to have connections with anyone." My voice begins to crack and I stop. "I've lost enough people, okay?"
"So you stay away from people because you're afraid you'll get hurt? Sometimes you've got to task risks. If you don't feel anything for anyone, what's the point of living?" But he doesn't understand. How could he?
"You don't know anything about me, okay? You don't know who I've lost, or anything else about me. Stop pretending we're friends. We're not."
I push away from him. "Just-" I ball up my fists and slam them into the large tree. "You don't grow up in a goddamn orphanage and fit in. You lose people, there. And I'm sick of it!" I run my hands through my hair. "Oh screw this."
"The way out is that way." The simplicity of his voice, it calms me down. It's not like I let him take my hand and lead me out of there. I just follow. I don't say anything. But I feel better. I've let the thing that's weighed me down for so long.
And I really feel better.
Sirius Black::
Look, problem child and Ariadne had always kind of gone hand in hand, but this was bad. She hadn't even noticed that her own hands had begun to bleed.
I had never thought that Ariadne might need help. Serious help. She needs someone pay her some mind. Because hey, maybe it's just me, but Ariadne doesn't have too many people to be with her. And with this, I might actually be the one of the people that is.
So that's what I'm thinking about when I'm sitting in the GCR.
Forgive me for not being the best of people, but I just can't start talking to her. What if other people saw me? What if Prongs or one of the others saw me? It could ruin everything. But knowing me, I know I can figure out a way to get the best of both worlds.
So when Ariadne comes in, like I knew she would, Her long black hair is down, like usual. She holds her bag possessively, like usual. Really, the only thing that isn't usual is the fact that her hands are bandaged, and that she looks right at me. I know what to do. I, as most inconspicuously as I can, call her over. She seems and seems to hesitate. Maybe baring her soul to me hadn't made our connection any stronger. Any wrong move could easily turn her away from me.
I smile. Come on, I know how to lay on the charm.
She sits down next to me and looks at me through the veil of her hair. "What do you want?" AH, it seems she on the defensive. I must change this.
"Nothing. I just want to know how you are." Kindness has got to get through to that shell, right?
"Look, I'm not a charity case now that I'm an orphan. You can just cut that crap out. I don't want your kindness, and I don't need it. Get over yourself." She stands up and glares at me with disdain. "You're no hero." And she walks away. Hey, at least I was trying. God she just can't get over her own self. I'm starting to think she doesn't have anyone because she let anyone in.
Well, no duh, I think to myself. She kind of explained that in the Forbidden Forest. She doesn't want to get hurt.
And then there's a cat. This cat is pretty white with the exception of random grayish streaks along it's back. And the cat rubs against my legs. I raise my eyebrow at the randomness of this. Most owners rarely leave their pets alone in the GCR.
"Why do you bother?" I hear Ariadne's voice and I turn around. But she isn't there. I frown and wonder where the voice had come from. Suddenly the cat jumps onto my lap and stares at me. "You're that rude?"
I jump in surprise. A cat. Talking. To me. Holy Christ. I push the cat off and get off the armchair. But the cat won't back down and stares at me some more. Her eyes are different, I guess. I've never seen a cat with gray eyes.
"Why do you bother. " I look around and no one seems to notice. Come on, someone has to notice the talking cat. But no one does. And maybe if I answer the cat, it'll go away.
"Bother with what?" I whisper so just in case I'm imagining the goddamn cat, I don't look like a retard.
"With her." She doesn't need to elaborate. I know she's talking about Ariadne. But why? What does this cat have to do with Ariadne?
"Because I want to. I can't be nice to someone now?" I glare at the cat. Why does helping Ariadne make everything suck? I should just leave her on her own.
"But you never paid her any mind before. It is pity? Because if it is, it's not worth it. Pity will not help her. But while we're on the subject, neither will you. Leave her be." And the cat is gone. Not blink- your-eyes-and-she's-gone gone but more she-walks-behind-something-and-I- can't-see-her-anymore gone.
What is it with Ariadne and weird?
Ariadne Chant::
I stare at my bandaged hands and I can't stand it. Am I really that far gone that I can't even feel when I bleed? I never felt a thing. And my hands were bloodied up pretty well. I couldn't go to the nurse she would be sure to ask questions and I can't stand interrogations. Why does Sirius torture me? It's not like I did anything to him. Is he really doing because he cares? Probably not. No doubt he told his friends and then they all decided it would be fun to make fun of the little orphan girl. I slam my hands down against my desk. This sends shiver of pain through my fingers and into my palm. I cry out in pain and curse. I hear nails tapping against the ground and curse again. I really don't need this. "So, I'm guessing Sirius actually being nice wasn't as good as you thought it might be, eh?" My cat, Isis, is back and ready to taunt me some more.
"Shut up." I don't want to deal with my cat at the moment. She tends to hate the fact that I like Sirius and she's hated the fact that I'm actually getting to know him even more.
She walks up to my bed and jumps up onto it. I'm sitting on the edge of it, and my lips tighten into a thin line to stop myself from screaming at Isis. And wouldn't that seem silly if anyone was watching [which I knew they aren't, I mean, I'm in my dorm and my dormmates hate me, so they rarely show up.] You see, when Isis doesn't want to show up, she doesn't. So I don't doubt that she's invisible right now, to the world except for me. And she's taunting me.
And all I want is Sirius.
Really. For all the indifference I show towards him, I do like him. A lot. And while Isis drones on about all of Sirius's bad points, all I can see is his face, looming towards mine, kind and understanding. Even knowing my secret, he cares. Is that so bad?
Why does Isis want Sirius to stay away? Does she want to see me unhappy, with no one? All I want is Sirius. Is that so bad?
I realize that Isis has stopped and I stop my thoughts to stare at her in confusion. What was wrong?
"You spoke that last thought out loud," she states simply. "Those last few statements." Her gray eyes, that look so much like mine, drill into my own. They are so cold and I shiver. She wants me to agree with her. But I don't and doubt I ever will. I don't understand her reasoning at all.
"Well, then you know the truth." I glare at her. "Why don't you want me to even talk to Sirius. You and I both agree I will never have a chance with him-"
"Why don't you read his mind and find out?" She is daring me to do something I am scared to do.
"You know it hurts me. I get those horrid headaches afterwards. It is really too much trouble. " I don't look at Isis because I know that if I do, Isis will know I'm lying. Which, of course she knows anyway.
"Are you afraid?" With that single statement my temper flares. I pick up a book off my desk and I hurl it at my cat as hard as I can. She dodges the book, but the action is still there. I hiss at her and say, "Next time I see him, I'm going to say I'm sorry and tonight I'll dream about fucking his brains out."
I storm out of the room, but not fast enough to escape her last comment.
"One has nothing to do with the other."
Sirius Black::
I pick up the brown book. I know that this book is the key to Ariadne. But why do I hesitate to read it? I finally grit my teeth and open the book. It's in pretty much the center of the book, and Ariadne's stiff handwriting crowds the page. I scan it slowly, expecting something boring about school. Instead I read a list of random thoughts, names, curse words and dates. It goes on for a couple of pages. Then a regular entrie begins.
'I saw him in the hallway with Eli today. Like to be her 24/7. Does she kiss him every time I'm near on purpose? Isis being annoying today, and has taken up a new hobby. A flaw finding hobby. For you know who.'
I stop. Eli? As in Elizandria, my last girlfriend? I check the date and it seems about right. But that would mean. Whoa, somehow I can't see Ariadne liking me, even if it was almost a year ago.
I flip more into the book, into the more recent entries. Some entries are like the first one I read, nothing in particular, just thoughts she writes down instead of screams. But others are regular entries. And whatever she felt for me in the first regular entry I'd read doesn't seem to go away.
Is it possible she still felt that way?
I keep reading late into the night. Eventually, though, my eyes grow heavy and the words blur. I close the book slowly and slide it under my pillow. Then, laying my head down onto the soft bed, I slumber fitfully.