A crowd was starting to form in a circle around Bruce and The Riddler, and a dozen of guards wearing riot gear was making their way towards the middle.

"This isn't good at all. I don't need this kind of attention." Bruce thought. "Listen, pal, you're right."

"I-I am?" Nygma questioned suspiciously, his balled fist still raised.

"Of course. How I could possibly come between you and your girl? I mean, just look at my hair. It's a terrible defect, I'm scarred! Worse than Two-Face!"

"Hey!" Came a rough voice from the crowd.

"You're obviously the better man." Bruce assured, turning his head dramatically to the side. "Please, don't hit me…"

"Well, your hair is rather disgusting. I suppose it would be a low blow to hit a cripple." Nygma said loudly to the crowd. Some of them clapped, some of them booed, but one of them smirked as she left the scene in a hurry.

"Quick Harley, now's our chance." Ivy whispered excited, "As a back-up plan I convinced the social worker to get us a real Christmas tree! Just climb on and we'll bust through the rooftop windows! Of course, getting off the grounds from the roof is a lot more difficult…"

"B-but what about Puddin'?" Harley asked looking frantically around for the clown as she was dragged towards the shimmering pine.

"Forget about him Harley!" Ivy growled.

"I'm not going anywhere without my Puddin." Harley whined. She shook off her friend's hand and planted her feet firmly on the ground.

"Now is not the time to be stubborn!" Ivy hissed. "Okay, we'll come back for him. Good enough?"

"Come back for who love?"

Ivy turned around, her face completely red with rage and disbelief.

"Back off Nygma! I'm having a bad day! And you just blew every little good thing about it straight to h-"

"A couple of kisses will make everything right." Nygma suggested with a quirky grin. He snaked his arm around Ivy's shoulders, who seemed completely oblivious to her surroundings.

"You bumbling idiot- don't you realize that a kiss from me is lethal?" Ivy snapped.

"Baby, your love is lethal." Nygma said with a wink.

Ivy whipped her head back and shrieked with such intensity that even Harley, whose high-pitched voice she was used to, covered her ears and grimaced.

"The voice of an angel…" Nygma sighed as everyone was staring at them.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ivy literally shouted in The Riddler's ear making him cringe. "Harley, we're getting out of here, even if everyone in the whole world is watching. Harley did you….hear…me? Harley? Where are you?"

"Listen, I'm sorry about your hair, but I don't have time to sympathize." Harley said as Bruce cornered her. "Now will you get out of my way? I'm looking for my boyfriend."

" You're doing a lot more than that. You're trying to break out of Arkham." Bruce responded crossing his arms.

"Geez, who are you- The World's Greatest Detective? Everyone is trying to break out of here." Harley said rolling her eyes and trying to get past his hulky frame.

" I can't allow you, or Poison Ivy, to leave." Bruce said.

" Quit with the B-man ethics. I get the point." Harley sighed. "Fine, I'll cut you in. But you better not trip any silent alarms. Now help me find my boyfriend so we can get out of here."

Bruce reviewed the scenario in his head and nodded.

"What does your boyfriend look like?" Bruce asked dreading the response.

"Incredibly handsome, nice smile, cute little cliff in his chin-"

"- There's an ugly, lanky, pastey-faced, yellow-toothed, green haired psychotic looking clown walking over here. Want me to ask him where your incredibly handsome boyfriend is?" Bruce grunted.

" Harley-girl!" The Joker shouted holding out his arms.

" Puddin'!" Harley squealed jumping into them, ignoring Bruce completely.

" Jeez Harl, you really lowered yourself." The Joker whispered looking at Bruce. "Could you pick an uglier friend?"

" Not everyone can have your beautiful face Mr. J. Besides, I feel sorry for him." Harley whispered back.

"Well give him the slip and let's roll baby cheeks." The Joker said slapping her butt. Harley giggled at the gesture.

"I think I'm going to hurl." Bruce thought feeling nauseous at Jokers show of affection.

"Harley! There you are, where were you? It's time to go. Now." Ivy shouted walking towards the crowd.

"I just found Mr. J, we're all set." Harley said. "Say, how did you manage to shake off you-know-who?"

"Nygma? I just told him I dropped my favorite ring in the ladies bathroom. He'll be in there for a while, if he ever gets the nerve to walk out of the stall. But that's not important." Ivy said.

Everyone paused and stared at each other.

"What?" Bruce asked annoyed.

"Well usually at this point someone interrupts us or that stupid lug Batman bursts through a window. It just felt like one of those times." Joker explained looking around for our favorite caped hero.

"Batman? Here? He'd have to be looney toons to come here." Ivy scoffed.

"I agree." Bruce chimed.

"Do you think it's been long enough?" Crane asked Harvey as they made their way to the bathrooms.

"I think so. It's getting painful." Two-Face responded knocking on the women's door.

"J-Just a minute!" A strained, obviously-not-a-girl voice rang.

"Nygma, get out of there. It's embarrassing." Harvey shouted.

"Yes, you're making yourself look stupider than ever, which is quite a new low for you." Scarecrow added.

Slowly the door opened.

"I can't leave until I find Ivy's favorite ring. She sent me on a sacred mission- a mission of love." Nygma distressingly explained.

Harvey and Scarecrow looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Sacred mission? Mission of love? Oh man, did she play you for a sap!" Crane shouted.

"Listen, you can't score broads going head-over-heels crazy. You have to play it smooth. Like me and Mon-toy-ya." Two-Face said in a sing-song tone of voice.

"Doesn't she always take away your phone privileges?" Nygma asked meekly, walking out of the women's bathroom.

"Yeah, but she's just playing hard to get." Two-Face said defensively.

" But doesn't she call you 'Phone-Freak'?" Crane asked with a grin.

"Pet-name." Harvey mumbled frustratingly.

"Doesn't sound very nice-" Crane said.

"SHUT UP! She adores me okay? And she's smart because she can't outright declare it because people like you won't understand- okay!" Dent growled.

"Still, 'Phone-Freak', that's a little woo woo-" Crane heckled.

"I said shut- hey, where do you think they're going?" Harvey asked looking at Ivy, Bruce, Joker and Harley running towards the Christmas tree.

"I don't know, but I think it's something big. Come on, let's find out." Crane said.

"But I can't return to my love without her ring." Nygma said.

"Weren't you listening at all?" Harvey said rolling his eyes.

"Whatever Phone-Freak." Riddler responded following their lead.

Authors Note: Just in case you're wondering, I love to mix my fictions together, and you can read about Dent calling Montoya in my fiction "The Phone Call". Pretty generic, right?