Chapter four l
Sirius Black::
"-surround you There are movie shows. Downtown. Maybe you know some little places to go To where they never close. Downtown."
She's talking and I'm listening. That is until this one thought gets into my head. Not all of a sudden. Not really. It's just she's talking and when you talk lips move, right? So I just peek at her lips. Just a little peek. And they aren't that bad. I mean, sure, I've kissed better. And just the word kiss gives me the creeps. We're barely friends. Please, I can't be thinking of kissing her. But I can't really help it and I do anyway. In a way. But even though I can almost feel it, I can't truly image it. She's too aloof. It'd be like trying to kiss the wind. No matter how close you get you can never quite touch it.
"Just listen to the rhythm of the gentle bossa nova. You'll be dancing with them too before the night is over. Happy again. The lights are much brighter there You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares."
"I won't anymore." I start. She won't want? I think back to what she had last been talking about. Oh, the mind thing. I nod slowly. "Yeah, that'd be nice." I don't tell her how nice that actually felt. After I got over the whole fact that she was in my brain, it had actually felt pretty good. I'd never felt so close to anyone before, even to Prongs, who's my best friend. And being so close to her had been . . .well . . .nice. Imminence with people was never something I had grown up with. If you know my family you will comprehend why.
"So go Downtown! Where all the lights are bright Downtown! Waiting for you tonight Downtown! You're going to be all right now. Downtown."
"Hey!" A girl came out of nowhere and points a finger at Ariadne with interest. "You're that girl that got brought out of the bathroom!" Then she turns to me. "And you're Sirius. How'd you know she was there, anyway? You psychic?" She laughs in a slightly irritating way. Ariadne simply stares at the girl without responding. I decide to answer in her place. "Eh, yeah, I am. But I know, even without my powers, that Ariadne is still hurt." I sit down carefully on the arm of the chair in which she's sitting in. Then I lightly place my arm around her shoulders. "She'll give you an interview once she's recovered."
"And you might find somebody kind To help and understand you Someone who is just like you And need a gentle hand to guide them along So maybe I'll see you there We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares."
I can barely restrain my laugh before the girl walk away. Then I realize my arm is still around her shoulder, so I move away. And Ariadne still hasn't moved. So I shrug my shoulders, trying to casually dismiss the fact that she got extremely tense as soon I touched her. Maybe closeness isn't something Ariadne understands well either.
"So go Downto- "
And then someone rips the record away. And that someone is a pissed off Moony. His face is bright red and his angry gaze is directed towards Prongs.
I leave Ariadne with a soft touch on the shoulder and I approach Prongs and Moony. "Guys, what's wrong?"
But they simply ignore me. "Look, you don't OWN her!" Moony screams into Prong's face.
Prong's face is a reflection of Moony's. "I know. But you KNOW. You know how much I-"
"How much you what? How much you want to fuck her? Yeah, if that's the case, then, yeah, I've heard enough shit about that as I handle." Moony throws the record down on the ground as he hisses at Prongs.
I know I should go in there and break them up. But this is something new. I have never seen Prongs and Moony have it out at each other, and I'm ashamed to admit that I want to see what will happen. The movement stop all around Prongs and Moony, as their eyes latch onto the scene playing out in front of everyone's eyes.
"You of all people should know it goes deeper than that! I love her, you git. So you can just sod off!" And then he starts to cry. In front of everyone, tears formed in the eyes of my best friend, the strongest person I have ever known.
And then he runs. And no one talks. Moony's eyes are cold and his fists are clenched tight. But in my mind I feel a flutter, and I know Ariadne is in there. But she doesn't connect completely, she just touches. "Sirius. . . ." she whispers into my brains. "Go. . . . .to him. . . ."
Ariadne Black::
Sirius runs after James and Remus still hasn't moved. So I decide to take a risk. I close my eyes and move my mind towards Remus. Or what I think is Remus's mind. I move in, closer and closer and I get surer it's Remus with every inch. I cautiously wrap myself around his mind, trying for the least possible contact.
"Remus?" I send the message into his mind and I wait for a response.
And then I get pounded with primal anger. And sadness. And love. And I can barely even think anymore with all the emotions hammering at my brain, shoving and pushing for total control. And I know I this emotion overload will hurt like hell once I've disconnected. So I quickly end my visit to Remus's mind with the solid message, "Meet me with the owls now."
And I pull away, grateful to be left with only a throbbing headache and not a second trip to the Hospital Wing. For a second I just sit there, pondering over the strangeness of what I felt. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before in anyone's mind. It was pure. Like an animal, pure and clean and unblemished. Total.
But I manage to ignore the pounding of the head and I head towards the exit, hoping Remus will listen to me and come. I know that I cannot possibly repeat it. For all the human's mind's faults, it's mind seem easier to understand. But such feels as I had received from Remus had been alien to a human mind like mine. Another connection with it so soon could kill me.
But before I can reach the portrait, I feel the soft fur of Isis curling around my legs. "I'm coming with you," she whispers and I can't argue with her, there's no point resist a talking cat.
At last I reach my destination, and I manage to slide myself down the floor without fainting. The pain in my head grows worse every second and I just wish Remus would get here already.
"Hello? Is there anyone there?" Silly of me. It had never occurred to me that he might arrive before me. I don't think I have the strength to lift myself up, so instead I answer from the ground on which I'm sitting on.
I'm glad it's night and through the window the sky is dark. The moon seems to be sleepy tonight and has gone out to play hide and seek. It works to my advantage, in a way. I don't want him to see me.
"What did you do?"
He knows immediately what I'm talking about. "Look, if you're just another daft girl who thinks being sentimental will get you the inside scoop you are dead wrong." I hear angry movements, but I speak before he can leave.
"Please. Get over yourself. I have an idea of what this is about. Let me tell you what I think and point out where I'm wrong, okay?" He doesn't respond to my words, so I continue. "Alright, from where I'm standing- or sitting, really –it's seems the only girl you could possibly be talking about is Lily. I mean, everyone knows how much James wants her. So I would think that he saw you with her. And he's mad at the fact that-"
"He's that just angry because he can't get what he wants. He's a spoiled git who thinks he can get what he wants all the time. He thinks he owns her. Well, what? I should be sorry for treating her well, for not annoying the hell out of her? Eh?"
I can't find an answer to his questions, but I can certainly answer it with a question of my own. "Did you sleep with her?"
For a long time all I can hear are the noises the owls make as they ruffled their feathers and move around, flying in and out as owls tend to do late at night. Through the noise I hear his soft reply. "Yes."
"He knows?"
"Yes."
"What else do you expect? James is just a guy that can't show what he feels like you do. That doesn't mean he feels any less, or that his intentions with her are any less pure than yours. It doesn't mean that he can't love her as well as you can."
I can feel him begin to speak, but I'm not finished. "And you knew. You were-are- his friend, and should have known better than to do this to him."
"He doesn't own her." He repeats, but his argument has gotten a lot less strong.
"Then why did you hide the fact that you were sleeping with her? Because you knew it was wrong. You're friends. "
"So? Just because we're bloody friends means we can't like the same girls? Just because he's my friend, I have to give her up?"
"No. But you might just give him a chance. After all, who would pain you more to not have in your life, James, or Lily?" And since I've always enjoyed having the last word, I stand, with my hand balancing me against the wall. Then I leave.
Sirius Black::
Staying with Prongs was one of the hardest things I've done. I wasn't sure what to think after Prongs explained it all to me. I just kind of knew that through it all I had to stick with my best mate. After all, if I abandoned him, what kind of best friend would I be?
The fact that Moony had never seemed to show any kind of emotion towards Lily was the most amazing thing of all. But no excuse could cover up the fact that James knew that they were going out behind his-and everyone else's-back.
"I love her. Really I do." He went to sleep repeating that over and over again, until it was even tattooed into the crevices of my own brain. I began to think that I loved her too, even.
It was late, so late, when Moony snuck into our dorm room. We don't exchange greetings. We are both awkward, and neither of us understands what our own relationship with each other is now like. But when Moonyhas been in the room for several minutes, I hear him speak. "Do you think he can forgive me?" I don't have an answer for him. I really don't.
--------------------(
And when I wake up that morning I get the feeling that I missed something. Moony and James are no longer in their beds, though the Peter, being the brute he is, continues sleeping and once again missing the excitement.
I don't like wearing the same clothes I went to bed with, but it doesn't seem as if I had a choice. I get up and I get halfway down the stairwell when I see Ariadne. She's glowing from excitement and is bouncing on the souls of her feet. "Did you hear?"
Her hands move to flatten my hair, which I hadn't bothered to comb, or even look at. "Hear what?" I mutter, still wiping sleep from my eyes.
"It's James. And Lily. I doubt the whole school is supposed to know, but everyone does anyway. She asked him out. They're now a thing. And no one's seen Remus. And-" she's about to go on in the scary peppy way she seems to be talking now, so I interrupt.
"Look, no one has seen Moony?" My interest being concentrated mostly on Moony seems to dampen Ariadne's high spirits, and I can't say I'm not partly relieved.
"No. And I can't say he feels too good about the whole thing. But I guess I brought him-"
"Fine." I rub my temples, trying to move away from all the sleepiness. "I'll have to go look for him." I nod at Ariadne and murmur a farewell before heading down towards the GCR, worried about what I'm going to say to Moony.
I search everywhere for Moony. I simply cannot find him. It seems that when he does not wish to be found, he isn't. So I head slowly back to the castle, hoping to catch the last bit of breakfast at the Great Hall.
I'm not in luck, so I slink away, my stomach rumbling and my mood getting cloudier by the second. So I head back to my dorm, almost surprised that Peter has woken up. Sunday is his latest day of the week. I sit on my bed, pondering what to do next on this day of civil rest.
So my fingers travel to the cover of the brown notebook, and they flip through the pages, reading every word, memorizing her letters, entry after entry. There are spaces between the entries, spaces of sometimes years. Empty holes in which I have no idea what has happened. These holes mostly seem to be of the thing I'm most interested about, her summer.
I don't have the littlest idea of how she spends her summer in the orphanage. I'm afraid to ask. And although my name pops up everyone now and then [ok, more than that, okay] even the window into her emotions towards me cannot explain to me who she really is.
All I know about her is that she likes me a lot; she's self- conscious, is angry and is in love with James Dean.
And when the last entry has been spelled out, I place down the book. I don't know what to do with it down, what to do with all the words that I now know she wants to tell me. I cannot think of a better thing to do than to return the book to its original owner. I decide to pretend that I didn't read a word and that I have no idea that she's maybe not as aloof anymore. It's not as rough a wind.
Hey, maybe I could tame her.
So I walk down to the GCR, now searching for another face, a softer face than Remus's. But instead I find Remus, and I can't escape our encounter. So I approach him, hiding the book behind me.
Even when I'm standing right in front of him, I don't say anything. He begins our conversation. "She's his."
"Yeah, I guess."
His voice is sadder than I've ever heard it before. "No guessing. I know. I let her go." Then he raises his head and I can't look him in the eye. I can't let the sadness I hear in his voice turn into me. "You know, she's not that bad. If she wasn't crazy about you, I'd try it." His hands cover his face, so I don't catch his last words. What is he talking about anyway?
"Who?" But he doesn't talk anymore. Maybe, I think, it's best if I just leave him to his own devices. So I back away, until I'm out and free and off and searching.
Ariadne Black::
The feeling of being responsible for this whole thing, practically, has faded, and I just feel numb. Maybe it's because I'm sitting outside on the edge of the river in the middle of the winter. I watch as all those other kids ice skate and I see the couples holding hands and kissing. I wonder how they can do all these things while on the fragile ice, unafraid of falling through. I've always feared the ice. And watching him come closer, well it doesn't help. I can't write off how bad he made me feel with excuses about how sleepy he was anymore. I try to ignore him, but it's hard when he sits in front me and tugs on my shoe. "What?" I hiss at him. "Come skate with me." His eyes twinkle and I see the two pairs of skates he holds in his hands. "I've borrowed them for an hour, so come on, get up and stop wasting time!" He tugs at me shoe some more and I freeze. "I don't like the ice," I whisper, but he doesn't hear me. Like usual. "I don't like ice!" I repeat, louder. "I'll protect you," he grins, his hands quickly untying my shoelaces, ready to expose my toes to the bitter cold. I shake my head. "No. It's all right. I can live without it." I pull away. There's no way I'm getting on that ice, no way. He gives me a pout-y face and puppy eyes. "Please?" I angrily press my lips into a tight line. So he pulls himself up next to me and stares into the lake. "I heard it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Several inches." I'm surprised that he would change the subject that quickly. I don't comment, and wonder how long it will take for him to leave once he realizes I'm not going to answer. He keeps talking, as if filling up the silence. And his hand, it just casually taps on mine. Keyword, casually. As if he does this with everyone. Which, seeing how I don't know him especially well, he might. Then he picks up my hand from where it was laying on the ground. "Remember when I read your palm in class? But when you hated me. More." I freeze. To move or not to move. That is the question.
Sirius Black::
"-surround you There are movie shows. Downtown. Maybe you know some little places to go To where they never close. Downtown."
She's talking and I'm listening. That is until this one thought gets into my head. Not all of a sudden. Not really. It's just she's talking and when you talk lips move, right? So I just peek at her lips. Just a little peek. And they aren't that bad. I mean, sure, I've kissed better. And just the word kiss gives me the creeps. We're barely friends. Please, I can't be thinking of kissing her. But I can't really help it and I do anyway. In a way. But even though I can almost feel it, I can't truly image it. She's too aloof. It'd be like trying to kiss the wind. No matter how close you get you can never quite touch it.
"Just listen to the rhythm of the gentle bossa nova. You'll be dancing with them too before the night is over. Happy again. The lights are much brighter there You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares."
"I won't anymore." I start. She won't want? I think back to what she had last been talking about. Oh, the mind thing. I nod slowly. "Yeah, that'd be nice." I don't tell her how nice that actually felt. After I got over the whole fact that she was in my brain, it had actually felt pretty good. I'd never felt so close to anyone before, even to Prongs, who's my best friend. And being so close to her had been . . .well . . .nice. Imminence with people was never something I had grown up with. If you know my family you will comprehend why.
"So go Downtown! Where all the lights are bright Downtown! Waiting for you tonight Downtown! You're going to be all right now. Downtown."
"Hey!" A girl came out of nowhere and points a finger at Ariadne with interest. "You're that girl that got brought out of the bathroom!" Then she turns to me. "And you're Sirius. How'd you know she was there, anyway? You psychic?" She laughs in a slightly irritating way. Ariadne simply stares at the girl without responding. I decide to answer in her place. "Eh, yeah, I am. But I know, even without my powers, that Ariadne is still hurt." I sit down carefully on the arm of the chair in which she's sitting in. Then I lightly place my arm around her shoulders. "She'll give you an interview once she's recovered."
"And you might find somebody kind To help and understand you Someone who is just like you And need a gentle hand to guide them along So maybe I'll see you there We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares."
I can barely restrain my laugh before the girl walk away. Then I realize my arm is still around her shoulder, so I move away. And Ariadne still hasn't moved. So I shrug my shoulders, trying to casually dismiss the fact that she got extremely tense as soon I touched her. Maybe closeness isn't something Ariadne understands well either.
"So go Downto- "
And then someone rips the record away. And that someone is a pissed off Moony. His face is bright red and his angry gaze is directed towards Prongs.
I leave Ariadne with a soft touch on the shoulder and I approach Prongs and Moony. "Guys, what's wrong?"
But they simply ignore me. "Look, you don't OWN her!" Moony screams into Prong's face.
Prong's face is a reflection of Moony's. "I know. But you KNOW. You know how much I-"
"How much you what? How much you want to fuck her? Yeah, if that's the case, then, yeah, I've heard enough shit about that as I handle." Moony throws the record down on the ground as he hisses at Prongs.
I know I should go in there and break them up. But this is something new. I have never seen Prongs and Moony have it out at each other, and I'm ashamed to admit that I want to see what will happen. The movement stop all around Prongs and Moony, as their eyes latch onto the scene playing out in front of everyone's eyes.
"You of all people should know it goes deeper than that! I love her, you git. So you can just sod off!" And then he starts to cry. In front of everyone, tears formed in the eyes of my best friend, the strongest person I have ever known.
And then he runs. And no one talks. Moony's eyes are cold and his fists are clenched tight. But in my mind I feel a flutter, and I know Ariadne is in there. But she doesn't connect completely, she just touches. "Sirius. . . ." she whispers into my brains. "Go. . . . .to him. . . ."
Ariadne Black::
Sirius runs after James and Remus still hasn't moved. So I decide to take a risk. I close my eyes and move my mind towards Remus. Or what I think is Remus's mind. I move in, closer and closer and I get surer it's Remus with every inch. I cautiously wrap myself around his mind, trying for the least possible contact.
"Remus?" I send the message into his mind and I wait for a response.
And then I get pounded with primal anger. And sadness. And love. And I can barely even think anymore with all the emotions hammering at my brain, shoving and pushing for total control. And I know I this emotion overload will hurt like hell once I've disconnected. So I quickly end my visit to Remus's mind with the solid message, "Meet me with the owls now."
And I pull away, grateful to be left with only a throbbing headache and not a second trip to the Hospital Wing. For a second I just sit there, pondering over the strangeness of what I felt. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before in anyone's mind. It was pure. Like an animal, pure and clean and unblemished. Total.
But I manage to ignore the pounding of the head and I head towards the exit, hoping Remus will listen to me and come. I know that I cannot possibly repeat it. For all the human's mind's faults, it's mind seem easier to understand. But such feels as I had received from Remus had been alien to a human mind like mine. Another connection with it so soon could kill me.
But before I can reach the portrait, I feel the soft fur of Isis curling around my legs. "I'm coming with you," she whispers and I can't argue with her, there's no point resist a talking cat.
At last I reach my destination, and I manage to slide myself down the floor without fainting. The pain in my head grows worse every second and I just wish Remus would get here already.
"Hello? Is there anyone there?" Silly of me. It had never occurred to me that he might arrive before me. I don't think I have the strength to lift myself up, so instead I answer from the ground on which I'm sitting on.
I'm glad it's night and through the window the sky is dark. The moon seems to be sleepy tonight and has gone out to play hide and seek. It works to my advantage, in a way. I don't want him to see me.
"What did you do?"
He knows immediately what I'm talking about. "Look, if you're just another daft girl who thinks being sentimental will get you the inside scoop you are dead wrong." I hear angry movements, but I speak before he can leave.
"Please. Get over yourself. I have an idea of what this is about. Let me tell you what I think and point out where I'm wrong, okay?" He doesn't respond to my words, so I continue. "Alright, from where I'm standing- or sitting, really –it's seems the only girl you could possibly be talking about is Lily. I mean, everyone knows how much James wants her. So I would think that he saw you with her. And he's mad at the fact that-"
"He's that just angry because he can't get what he wants. He's a spoiled git who thinks he can get what he wants all the time. He thinks he owns her. Well, what? I should be sorry for treating her well, for not annoying the hell out of her? Eh?"
I can't find an answer to his questions, but I can certainly answer it with a question of my own. "Did you sleep with her?"
For a long time all I can hear are the noises the owls make as they ruffled their feathers and move around, flying in and out as owls tend to do late at night. Through the noise I hear his soft reply. "Yes."
"He knows?"
"Yes."
"What else do you expect? James is just a guy that can't show what he feels like you do. That doesn't mean he feels any less, or that his intentions with her are any less pure than yours. It doesn't mean that he can't love her as well as you can."
I can feel him begin to speak, but I'm not finished. "And you knew. You were-are- his friend, and should have known better than to do this to him."
"He doesn't own her." He repeats, but his argument has gotten a lot less strong.
"Then why did you hide the fact that you were sleeping with her? Because you knew it was wrong. You're friends. "
"So? Just because we're bloody friends means we can't like the same girls? Just because he's my friend, I have to give her up?"
"No. But you might just give him a chance. After all, who would pain you more to not have in your life, James, or Lily?" And since I've always enjoyed having the last word, I stand, with my hand balancing me against the wall. Then I leave.
Sirius Black::
Staying with Prongs was one of the hardest things I've done. I wasn't sure what to think after Prongs explained it all to me. I just kind of knew that through it all I had to stick with my best mate. After all, if I abandoned him, what kind of best friend would I be?
The fact that Moony had never seemed to show any kind of emotion towards Lily was the most amazing thing of all. But no excuse could cover up the fact that James knew that they were going out behind his-and everyone else's-back.
"I love her. Really I do." He went to sleep repeating that over and over again, until it was even tattooed into the crevices of my own brain. I began to think that I loved her too, even.
It was late, so late, when Moony snuck into our dorm room. We don't exchange greetings. We are both awkward, and neither of us understands what our own relationship with each other is now like. But when Moonyhas been in the room for several minutes, I hear him speak. "Do you think he can forgive me?" I don't have an answer for him. I really don't.
--------------------(
And when I wake up that morning I get the feeling that I missed something. Moony and James are no longer in their beds, though the Peter, being the brute he is, continues sleeping and once again missing the excitement.
I don't like wearing the same clothes I went to bed with, but it doesn't seem as if I had a choice. I get up and I get halfway down the stairwell when I see Ariadne. She's glowing from excitement and is bouncing on the souls of her feet. "Did you hear?"
Her hands move to flatten my hair, which I hadn't bothered to comb, or even look at. "Hear what?" I mutter, still wiping sleep from my eyes.
"It's James. And Lily. I doubt the whole school is supposed to know, but everyone does anyway. She asked him out. They're now a thing. And no one's seen Remus. And-" she's about to go on in the scary peppy way she seems to be talking now, so I interrupt.
"Look, no one has seen Moony?" My interest being concentrated mostly on Moony seems to dampen Ariadne's high spirits, and I can't say I'm not partly relieved.
"No. And I can't say he feels too good about the whole thing. But I guess I brought him-"
"Fine." I rub my temples, trying to move away from all the sleepiness. "I'll have to go look for him." I nod at Ariadne and murmur a farewell before heading down towards the GCR, worried about what I'm going to say to Moony.
I search everywhere for Moony. I simply cannot find him. It seems that when he does not wish to be found, he isn't. So I head slowly back to the castle, hoping to catch the last bit of breakfast at the Great Hall.
I'm not in luck, so I slink away, my stomach rumbling and my mood getting cloudier by the second. So I head back to my dorm, almost surprised that Peter has woken up. Sunday is his latest day of the week. I sit on my bed, pondering what to do next on this day of civil rest.
So my fingers travel to the cover of the brown notebook, and they flip through the pages, reading every word, memorizing her letters, entry after entry. There are spaces between the entries, spaces of sometimes years. Empty holes in which I have no idea what has happened. These holes mostly seem to be of the thing I'm most interested about, her summer.
I don't have the littlest idea of how she spends her summer in the orphanage. I'm afraid to ask. And although my name pops up everyone now and then [ok, more than that, okay] even the window into her emotions towards me cannot explain to me who she really is.
All I know about her is that she likes me a lot; she's self- conscious, is angry and is in love with James Dean.
And when the last entry has been spelled out, I place down the book. I don't know what to do with it down, what to do with all the words that I now know she wants to tell me. I cannot think of a better thing to do than to return the book to its original owner. I decide to pretend that I didn't read a word and that I have no idea that she's maybe not as aloof anymore. It's not as rough a wind.
Hey, maybe I could tame her.
So I walk down to the GCR, now searching for another face, a softer face than Remus's. But instead I find Remus, and I can't escape our encounter. So I approach him, hiding the book behind me.
Even when I'm standing right in front of him, I don't say anything. He begins our conversation. "She's his."
"Yeah, I guess."
His voice is sadder than I've ever heard it before. "No guessing. I know. I let her go." Then he raises his head and I can't look him in the eye. I can't let the sadness I hear in his voice turn into me. "You know, she's not that bad. If she wasn't crazy about you, I'd try it." His hands cover his face, so I don't catch his last words. What is he talking about anyway?
"Who?" But he doesn't talk anymore. Maybe, I think, it's best if I just leave him to his own devices. So I back away, until I'm out and free and off and searching.
Ariadne Black::
The feeling of being responsible for this whole thing, practically, has faded, and I just feel numb. Maybe it's because I'm sitting outside on the edge of the river in the middle of the winter. I watch as all those other kids ice skate and I see the couples holding hands and kissing. I wonder how they can do all these things while on the fragile ice, unafraid of falling through. I've always feared the ice. And watching him come closer, well it doesn't help. I can't write off how bad he made me feel with excuses about how sleepy he was anymore. I try to ignore him, but it's hard when he sits in front me and tugs on my shoe. "What?" I hiss at him. "Come skate with me." His eyes twinkle and I see the two pairs of skates he holds in his hands. "I've borrowed them for an hour, so come on, get up and stop wasting time!" He tugs at me shoe some more and I freeze. "I don't like the ice," I whisper, but he doesn't hear me. Like usual. "I don't like ice!" I repeat, louder. "I'll protect you," he grins, his hands quickly untying my shoelaces, ready to expose my toes to the bitter cold. I shake my head. "No. It's all right. I can live without it." I pull away. There's no way I'm getting on that ice, no way. He gives me a pout-y face and puppy eyes. "Please?" I angrily press my lips into a tight line. So he pulls himself up next to me and stares into the lake. "I heard it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Several inches." I'm surprised that he would change the subject that quickly. I don't comment, and wonder how long it will take for him to leave once he realizes I'm not going to answer. He keeps talking, as if filling up the silence. And his hand, it just casually taps on mine. Keyword, casually. As if he does this with everyone. Which, seeing how I don't know him especially well, he might. Then he picks up my hand from where it was laying on the ground. "Remember when I read your palm in class? But when you hated me. More." I freeze. To move or not to move. That is the question.