A/n:: I'm using Fefe Dobson songs in this chapter.
_____Chapter_seven______________________l
Ariadne Black::
I find myself sitting in a coffeehouse; sipping the cold coffee I had order half an hour before. Listening to all these pathetic people who wish they are famous makes me feel less pathetic, somehow.
But then a girl comes on. At first I don't recognize her. That is, until she starts to sing. I can not forget her voice.
"Tell me who should I be to make you love me
Tell me what does it mean to be alone
Can't you see me standing staring out from a distance
Hear my crying if you'd only listen
Out of focus, into me and you"
The first note betrays her identity and I almost gasp. I haven't seen her in five years, and she sure has changed. Her hair is much longer and it looks a darker red from this light. Her features have sharpened and she has lost the baby fat that I have attributed to her memory.
"Why this veil of secrecy?
God forbid, your friends found out what we did
Why can't someone like you be someone like me?"
Her passion hasn't changed. Her expression is still an open book and this song is like all being emitted from her voice.
"Touch, fool if you're allowed
I'll be dancing in a corner
Its so cruel to play it proud
Take your hands and cover me. . ."
I sit there listening to her voice flow past me, as it did so many years before. I haven't thought about it much, but I have missed her. I don't want to think about the reason she left, so I skip right over that, enjoying being near to my best friend.
"And it hurts me so bad to deny it, oooh
These feelings are out of control.
Do you know what it's like to want something so bad...
And then having to let it go?"
And with these words I know what it's about. The song makes me shiver, and I don't want to think about that anymore. I look up at her face, her voice falling and rising to the song's rhythm. As the song ends, I breathe a sigh of relief.
She smiles at the response she gets, which is a whole lot of clapping. "Okay, thanks guys. Now, another song. It's pretty old, like the last one, at least two years old. Yeah, yeah," she waves away of a couple of teasing jeers, "When I was fifteen. But I think I put a lot of myself in it. Maybe too much. " And then her voice envelops me again.
I'm so into the sound of her voice that I don't catch onto her words for a couple of seconds.
"Tell me this is not end
Ariadne
You, my love, my oldest friend
Ariadne
I see you with flowers in your hair
Ariadne
Running around without a care
You're days were numbered
And I want you to know
You're doing this to yourself
Time to show me the will to change
I swear I will help you I will
I will shine my light on you
Let the sunlight show your face
Ariadne
No one knows you in this place
Ariadne
I see there's a distance in your eyes
Ariadne
Can I even reach you if I try
Or is this good-bye?"
I bite my lip and try not to jump up and scream. No, denial has worked for two years. It can work much longer. Until midnight. But the song hasn't finished yet.
"Tell me this is not the end
Ariadne
You, my love, my oldest friend
Ariadne
You put your faith in dreams that kill
Ariadne
Lying with beauty, breath so still
She couldn't be trusted."
She smiles at the new response, but her smile is a sad one, as if she too is burdened by the memories. She waves a goodbye at the audience, and walks out from the spotlight. I cannot lose this chance to talk to her. Who knows when I might catch her again?
So I get up, leaving Isis with my trunk, I walk towards where she has sat down. "Hi, Julia." I say softly, standing beside her chair, nervously pulling on a lock of my hair.
She turns her head and her eyes widen. "Ariadne." Her voice squeaks as she says my name and I give her encouraging smile and nod.
"It's been a while, huh, Julia?" I start, trying to go casual. But as usual she has a different idea.
"Where are you staying? I mean, I heard about the orphanage. And you're not at. . . school." She looks around suspiciously, as if a spy were watching her talk about my 'school'.
"I'm on summer vacation. I just came back today, and I've got this squat place I'm looking at tonight." I shrug. "I'm doing fine."
"How's Isis. She alright?"
I nod my head in Isis's direction. "Peachy keen." And then we run out of conversation and the awkwardness takes over our words.
"So. . .found yourself a boyfriend, yet?" she tries to fit this into our conversation without seeming anything less than casual, but I know her better than that.
"Well, there's this one guy. I like him a lot, and he knows it, but I'm not sure if he feels the same. We're friends." I shrug helplessly. "What can I do?"
She rolls her eyes. "Don't I know that game? Look, if he KNOWS and is still your friend, it's either because he's totally weird or he likes you back. Complete the riddle, which one is it?" Her brown eyes look into mine, and she gives me a smile. "Go for it. What do you have to lose?"
"Our friendship, for one."
"What friendship? When one of those 'friends' feels like that towards the other, well, its never going to be friends. You'll dream of being his forever, until it kills you. But you'll never be friends."
Her seriousness shocks me into silence. I can see how she is right, but I know I will not be able to bring myself to do risk what Sirius and I have.
"So," I begin, trying to ask in the same manner she did, "have you found yourself a girlfriend?" I immediately notice her nervousness as she responses to my question.
"Er, I've tried with a couple of people but. . .well, it hasn't really worked out." She doesn't look me in the eye as she answers.
"Hey," I say optimistically, as I place my hand on her shoulder, gently. "You will, don't ya worry."
She looks me in the eyes and says quietly, "I already have." I bite my lower lip and move away a step.
"Look, Julia. I can't lie to you. I . . .just can't. First of all, you couldn't even tell me to my face that you were . . ." now I'm the one looking around, "gay. And then at the same time you sprout the fact that you love me on me. What was I supposed to do?" I covered my face in my hands. "And I thought you didn't want me going to Hogwarts because you thought I would go to hell."
"I still think that!" she answers back passionately. "Well, I can't help the fact I fell in love with you. If I could take it back, I would. But I can't! I love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop. So I guess we'll have to deal with it or . . ." She didn't have to finish for me to know what she meant.
I shake my head slowly. "I think I have to be going. . . but maybe tomorrow?"
She shrugs half-heartedly. "To what? Start this conversation up where its left off? Can't wait." She gets up from her seat. "I'll be here tomorrow. Midnight. Come if you want." With that she walks off and as I do, back to where Isis is staring at me with knowing eyes.
_____Chapter_seven______________________l
Ariadne Black::
I find myself sitting in a coffeehouse; sipping the cold coffee I had order half an hour before. Listening to all these pathetic people who wish they are famous makes me feel less pathetic, somehow.
But then a girl comes on. At first I don't recognize her. That is, until she starts to sing. I can not forget her voice.
"Tell me who should I be to make you love me
Tell me what does it mean to be alone
Can't you see me standing staring out from a distance
Hear my crying if you'd only listen
Out of focus, into me and you"
The first note betrays her identity and I almost gasp. I haven't seen her in five years, and she sure has changed. Her hair is much longer and it looks a darker red from this light. Her features have sharpened and she has lost the baby fat that I have attributed to her memory.
"Why this veil of secrecy?
God forbid, your friends found out what we did
Why can't someone like you be someone like me?"
Her passion hasn't changed. Her expression is still an open book and this song is like all being emitted from her voice.
"Touch, fool if you're allowed
I'll be dancing in a corner
Its so cruel to play it proud
Take your hands and cover me. . ."
I sit there listening to her voice flow past me, as it did so many years before. I haven't thought about it much, but I have missed her. I don't want to think about the reason she left, so I skip right over that, enjoying being near to my best friend.
"And it hurts me so bad to deny it, oooh
These feelings are out of control.
Do you know what it's like to want something so bad...
And then having to let it go?"
And with these words I know what it's about. The song makes me shiver, and I don't want to think about that anymore. I look up at her face, her voice falling and rising to the song's rhythm. As the song ends, I breathe a sigh of relief.
She smiles at the response she gets, which is a whole lot of clapping. "Okay, thanks guys. Now, another song. It's pretty old, like the last one, at least two years old. Yeah, yeah," she waves away of a couple of teasing jeers, "When I was fifteen. But I think I put a lot of myself in it. Maybe too much. " And then her voice envelops me again.
I'm so into the sound of her voice that I don't catch onto her words for a couple of seconds.
"Tell me this is not end
Ariadne
You, my love, my oldest friend
Ariadne
I see you with flowers in your hair
Ariadne
Running around without a care
You're days were numbered
And I want you to know
You're doing this to yourself
Time to show me the will to change
I swear I will help you I will
I will shine my light on you
Let the sunlight show your face
Ariadne
No one knows you in this place
Ariadne
I see there's a distance in your eyes
Ariadne
Can I even reach you if I try
Or is this good-bye?"
I bite my lip and try not to jump up and scream. No, denial has worked for two years. It can work much longer. Until midnight. But the song hasn't finished yet.
"Tell me this is not the end
Ariadne
You, my love, my oldest friend
Ariadne
You put your faith in dreams that kill
Ariadne
Lying with beauty, breath so still
She couldn't be trusted."
She smiles at the new response, but her smile is a sad one, as if she too is burdened by the memories. She waves a goodbye at the audience, and walks out from the spotlight. I cannot lose this chance to talk to her. Who knows when I might catch her again?
So I get up, leaving Isis with my trunk, I walk towards where she has sat down. "Hi, Julia." I say softly, standing beside her chair, nervously pulling on a lock of my hair.
She turns her head and her eyes widen. "Ariadne." Her voice squeaks as she says my name and I give her encouraging smile and nod.
"It's been a while, huh, Julia?" I start, trying to go casual. But as usual she has a different idea.
"Where are you staying? I mean, I heard about the orphanage. And you're not at. . . school." She looks around suspiciously, as if a spy were watching her talk about my 'school'.
"I'm on summer vacation. I just came back today, and I've got this squat place I'm looking at tonight." I shrug. "I'm doing fine."
"How's Isis. She alright?"
I nod my head in Isis's direction. "Peachy keen." And then we run out of conversation and the awkwardness takes over our words.
"So. . .found yourself a boyfriend, yet?" she tries to fit this into our conversation without seeming anything less than casual, but I know her better than that.
"Well, there's this one guy. I like him a lot, and he knows it, but I'm not sure if he feels the same. We're friends." I shrug helplessly. "What can I do?"
She rolls her eyes. "Don't I know that game? Look, if he KNOWS and is still your friend, it's either because he's totally weird or he likes you back. Complete the riddle, which one is it?" Her brown eyes look into mine, and she gives me a smile. "Go for it. What do you have to lose?"
"Our friendship, for one."
"What friendship? When one of those 'friends' feels like that towards the other, well, its never going to be friends. You'll dream of being his forever, until it kills you. But you'll never be friends."
Her seriousness shocks me into silence. I can see how she is right, but I know I will not be able to bring myself to do risk what Sirius and I have.
"So," I begin, trying to ask in the same manner she did, "have you found yourself a girlfriend?" I immediately notice her nervousness as she responses to my question.
"Er, I've tried with a couple of people but. . .well, it hasn't really worked out." She doesn't look me in the eye as she answers.
"Hey," I say optimistically, as I place my hand on her shoulder, gently. "You will, don't ya worry."
She looks me in the eyes and says quietly, "I already have." I bite my lower lip and move away a step.
"Look, Julia. I can't lie to you. I . . .just can't. First of all, you couldn't even tell me to my face that you were . . ." now I'm the one looking around, "gay. And then at the same time you sprout the fact that you love me on me. What was I supposed to do?" I covered my face in my hands. "And I thought you didn't want me going to Hogwarts because you thought I would go to hell."
"I still think that!" she answers back passionately. "Well, I can't help the fact I fell in love with you. If I could take it back, I would. But I can't! I love you, and I don't think I'll ever stop. So I guess we'll have to deal with it or . . ." She didn't have to finish for me to know what she meant.
I shake my head slowly. "I think I have to be going. . . but maybe tomorrow?"
She shrugs half-heartedly. "To what? Start this conversation up where its left off? Can't wait." She gets up from her seat. "I'll be here tomorrow. Midnight. Come if you want." With that she walks off and as I do, back to where Isis is staring at me with knowing eyes.