December 22, 2004

The search for Joan continued. They were reasonably sure she was in Arcadia, somewhere, since the phone calls had been from payphones in town. But they weren't able to narrow that down to any more specific locations or get any more concrete leads. The media had picked up on the case, but so far any tips they had received from the public had been useless. Will was at the station, working almost frantically to piece together clues that just weren't there. He shouldn't have been there, since he was too emotionally invested in this case, but he had to be. As much as the other officers wanted to send him home, they couldn't. He was the only one who had any real knowledge of Graves, since he had caught him before, and they needed his knowledge about this guy if they were going to find Joan alive.

Even though it was the holiday season and everyone had family commitments, they were all putting in overtime on this case. This was one of their own, and they were determined to find her. Extra manpower was brought in for this case, much of it volunteer. One of these volunteers was Detective Toni Williams. Even though she was off work and taking a Christmas break for a few days, she headed for Arcadia as soon as she heard Joan was missing. She knew Will could use her help and support. She had jumped right into the case upon arriving.

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Joan slowly came to, feeling worse than she had when she awoke the day before. At least she thought it had been the day before. The room she was in was so dark, she didn't know if it was day or night. She managed to pull herself into a sitting position. The chain on the wall was a bit longer than she had thought it'd been yesterday, and allowed for a bit of movement. But laying on a hard floor had made her so stiff that any movement was difficult. She sat in the darkness, not knowing what to do. She tried to see if she could free her wrists, but the handcuffs were on tight, and the chain was thick. She didn't know how long she sat there, alone in the dark, before a door opened and the dark figure from last night stepped into the room.

"Oh, nice to see you awake. I trust you slept well", Graves said, laughing, as he flipped on the light on the ceiling and walked over to her. "But if you didn't, I don't really care." He stood in front of her, and smiled a smile that made Joan's blood run cold.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, hoping to distract him from whatever he was thinking.

"Geez, you don't listen any better than your father. I already told you both – it's payback time. I waited outside your house Monday morning, wondering what I was going to do. Then I saw you and your brother leave for school. I took one look at you and knew you were the one I'd take. Daddy's little girl, I'm guessing. And wouldn't it just kill him to lose his little girl? I figure it will, if it hasn't already. He's knows my routine. It's probably going around and around his head as he imagines what I might be doing to you right now."

He ran his hand through her hair and over her cheek and neck as he had last night. Joan shuddered, and tried to turn away. He grabbed her jaw roughly and kissed her hard on the mouth. Then his hands were roaming over her body again. Joan had no leverage to fight him, pressed against the wall, so she spit in his face when he pulled away slightly.

"Goddammit! Bad move, princess" he said angrily. He pulled out the knife again, and Joan instinctively raised her arms in front of her. He hadn't expected that, and the blade hit her forearm and sunk in. She tried to push him away, but he only got angrier, and she wound up getting cut again. "See what you made me do?" he yelled.

Now the knife was on her throat, and she felt it cutting her.

"My dad will find me", she said, trying to sound sure of that even as her voice shook.

"You think so, princess? Well, I wonder if he'll like what he finds." He held the knife to her cheek and drew the blade downward toward her chin. Joan cried out in pain and felt the blood run down her cheek and neck. Graves smiled, and brought the knife back up against her throat.

"You know, I might not be able to wait until Christmas after all. I was never very good at waiting to unwrap my presents."

Joan screamed, but the only person able to hear her just laughed.

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"NO!" Helen awoke with a start from where she had drifted off on the couch. She sat up and tried to shake the images that had awakened her from her head. She'd seen Joan in her dream, and blood. Lots of blood.

"Mrs. Girardi?" asked Officer Marks, who'd been manning the wire tap. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just a dream. Where did the kids all go?"

"Out to the garage, I think. They mentioned something about a boat."

Helen nodded as the doorbell rang. She got up to answer it and found Fran waiting on the other side of the door.

"Fran, please, come in. How have you been?"

"I should be asking you that", Fran said as she greeted Helen with a hug. "I heard about Joan on the news. Have you heard anything new?"

"No, nothing. Will's down at the station, and I'm sure he'd call if he found something."

"Is there anything I can do? Joan is probably the only true friend Judith ever had, and I'd like to help out in any way I can."

"I appreciate the offer, but no. There isn't even anything I can do."

"Well, I have a couple more patients I need to see today. But here's a casserole for you for dinner. It's not much, but at least you won't have to worry about cooking."

"You didn't have to..."

"Yes, I did. It's the least I can do. And if you do need anything, even just a friend to talk to, please don't hesitate to call."

The women hugged again as Fran left, and as Helen closed the door she became aware once again of the silence in the house. It seemed even quieter since the kids were outside, probably working on the boat just to have something to do. Helen didn't think she could just sit anymore either so she did what she usually did when she was upset about something. She started to clean.

It was late in the evening when Will went home to check on the rest of his family. They'd found nothing today. Nothing. It was so frustrating to have so little to go on. His prior knowledge of Graves was anything but a comfort. He'd walked out of a briefing he was giving some of the officers about Graves' M.O. when he got to the part about what he typically did to his victims. He couldn't bring himself to say what could be happening to Joan. Toni had to finish it for him. He was embarrassed about that, even though he knew they all understood. He walked slowly past the police cruiser stationed in front of his house with a heavy step, wishing he had something positive to tell family.

Will found Helen in the laundry room, doing some laundry. She didn't look up when he entered.

"I can't believe how quickly this laundry piles up. But I've got to get these washed for Joan. They're her favorite. She'll want to wear them when she comes home."

"Helen…"

"She's always saying how all the clothes she likes are always dirty. I need to have them ready for her."

"Helen…"

She finally looked up at him. "You haven't found anything." It was a statement, not a question.

"He's sure to call again. Then maybe we can find out more"

Helen's anger came to the fore. "Why are you just waiting for a phone call from some psycho, hoping he'll tell you something? Can't you do something? Offer him a deal?

"We are doing something. We're trying to find her, in every way we can, but we don't negotiate in these situations. We have to follow regulations, even for this."

"Goddammit Will! This is our daughter! I don't care if you have to make a deal with the devil himself– just get her back!" She slammed the lid on the washer and stormed out of the room.

"Helen, wait!"

"No! I don't want to hear about any damn regulations when this monster could be doing God knows what to my baby girl. To hell with your regulations! All I want to hear is that she's ok and that she's coming home!" With that, Helen ran up the stairs and went into her bedroom, slamming the door hard behind her.

Kevin, Luke, Grace, and Adam had come back inside and had heard the entire exchange. "Uh, Rove, I think that's our cue to leave", said Grace. She and Adam were out the back door before Kevin even had a chance to offer to drive them home.

That night, Will sat in the living room of the silent house by himself. Kevin and Luke were upstairs, hopefully getting some sleep, and Helen hadn't emerged from their bedroom. 10:00 had come and gone, as had 11:00. It was now past midnight, and it was clear to Will that Graves wasn't going to call. He felt so helpless. Knowing he'd never be able to get to sleep, he decided to head back to the station.

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Across town, Joan was hovering on the edge of consciousness. She was curled into a tight ball on the floor, shivering from shock and cold. She knew she had to get out of there, soon, if she was going to get out at all. But her hands were still tied, and there was nothing to use to get out. The only other items in the closet with her were a bucket Graves had left for her to relieve herself and a jug of water. Yelling would just bring Graves back in and who knows what else he'd do to her besides just giving her another injection. There was nothing she could do besides pray. "God, I know you can hear me. Please, help me. Please send my dad, or someone. Please." The last thing she was aware of before she slipped back into unconsciousness was absolute silence.