Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Ending is similar to that of 'Pearl Harbor.' Do not own it. Plot is mine, so is Sasha Serpent Snape, and the poem. No money…Don't sue…Dirt poor.
Summary: Harry recalls his life with his soul mate after waking up from a nightmare. Sirius is there to comfort the young man.
A/N: This story has implied slash but nothing graphic. This was just a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote some HP/SS drabble. It is my first fic with this coupling. Hope you readers like it better than I do. Right now I am just experimenting with couples. This is what I came up with for this one. This is a one shot and is finished. Sorry. It has quite a few flashbacks because the story takes place in the past, so don't kill the author if that annoys you. You have been warned. Flamers only keep me warm but I warned you. Enjoy.
To make this easier to read:
In Italics flashback
Normal story
Bold, Italics poem
Chapter 1 (I Remember)
"Harry, wake up. Come on." Sirius shook him furiously. Harry lay tangled in a mesh of blue sheets, sweating and panting for breath.
"No…No, Severus, don't leave." Harry's scream was full of terror and fear. Sirius was taken back by the words but concerned none the less about Harry.
"Come on Harry." He said firmly, yet softly. He held his shaking, sobbing godson in his arms until Harry calmed from his nightmare. His breathing slowed as his head rested against his godfather's chest. After awhile, his eyes fluttered open and emerald met black.
"Sirius?" Harry choked; his voice raspy and his throat dry from the screaming. "I didn't mean to wake you." He put his head down as if he was in trouble. "I thought the charms were up."
"Shh…Harry, it is fine." Sirius smiled down at his godson. The last living reminder of James. "Do you want to talk," He whispered cautiously and faltered a bit. He hadn't seen Harry in years and didn't wish for him to run off again. He continued into a subject he knew nothing about. "About Severus?"
Harry's eyes went wide as he stuttered out, "Wh-what do y-you know?" Harry knew he needed to talk but never would he have dreamed that Sirius would bring it up or ask. They had been so careful. No one had known, or so he thought.
"You were calling his name in your sleep." Sirius said solemnly.
"He's long been dead; a casualty."
"Harry, please, don't lie to me. I know you better than that. The look on your face and the pain in your voice told me otherwise. It was love. I know because I felt the same when your father died." He paused and let Harry take in everything he said. "It took many years and a very good friend to bring me back. No one will ever replace your father or how much I loved him but I moved on and love Remus very much."
Harry's eyes could not have gotten any bigger and he started sobbing, more violently, into his godfather's nightshirt. "Please, don't hate me. I watched; I couldn't help him. It was my fault."
"Harry, you defeated Voldemort. That was what you had to do. We would have all died to protect and help you. It is not your fault. They are all gone. There has been 4 years of peace. That is what you gave us. You gave the world a chance at a new life.
"What does it matter? I couldn't protect the one I loved. I see it every night Sirius, every night."
"Shh, It's okay Harry. It will be fine. Why don't you tell me about it."
Harry didn't know how to start. It had been so long since he had talked to anyone. After the final battle, Harry had shut himself off from the Wizarding World. His NEWTS and such were done through the mail, as was his graduation. He had all but disappeared. It wasn't until little over 2 months ago had he been able to venture out of the Muggle World. This was the first time he had spent the night anywhere except his flat in Muggle London.
"It was 5th year. We were together for about 10 months; 10 beautiful months." Harry stopped to regain some composure. This was not, nor would it ever be, an easy subject to talk about.
Sirius didn't wish to hear of his godson's relationship with one Severus Snape but Harry needed someone to listen; someone to be there for him. He had worried night after night about Harry and was not about to let Harry disappear again. Harry had been through to much and he was not about to let the life continue to drain from him until he was a soulless shell. This was his chance to help, to see life find its way back into those dull, emerald orbs. Most of all, this was Harry's chance to move on from whatever demons plagued his existence.
As Sirius pondered, Harry reveled in the memories that came back to him. They had been locked away for far too long. The first time he met Snape at the tender age of eleven, the first time he accepted that he was gay, when he realized he was falling for Snape, and lastly, the day he died in Harry's arms. They had been stained with blood ever since and prevented Harry from moving on, not that he was trying to.
Flashback (Harry is telling Sirius it as he thinks about it)
"What do you want Mr. Potter?" The voice drawled out behind him. He had only come into the potions classroom minutes before to talk with Professor Snape but now his voice failed him. "Well?" Snape added, his eyes darkened with contempt. Never leaving Harry's gaze, he made his way to his desk.
"I-I…I just…" Harry started, suddenly even more unnerved by his professor.
"Well, spit it out. I have potions to attend to." Snape snapped. (A/N:Isn't that such a lovely little saying. Quite snappy; if I do say so myself. Sorry, having issues with my muses.)
"I…I Like you." Harry finished quietly.
Flashback Interruption (Back to the present)
"You just told him, Harry." Sirius was genuinely surprised. Gryffindor courage, no doubt.
Harry nodded and relaxed back against Sirius. "Yes, I was foolish."
"You were in love."
"Yes." Harry drew in a breath and continued reliving the blissful past.
FLASHBACK continued
Snape was at a loss for words. In all honesty, it was the first time Harry could remember seeing the snarky, old professor so stunned. He didn't know what to do. He had always taken a liking to Potter but for him to confess like that was way out of character. Even for him. He needed to clear his mind. This was the first time he needed Harry to leave but wanted him to stay.
"I see." He said simply.
Harry's face fell. What did he expect? He was the boy-who-lived. There was no way Severus Snape, Potions Professor at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, would fall for Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Bloody-Fucking-Lived.
"I bid you a goodnight Professor." Harry gritted his teeth and he refused to meet the professor's gaze again. He left silently and made it back to his common room, completely oblivious to the thoughts running through one potion master's head.
END of Flashback
"That's how it was. He avoided me, even stopped making my life a living hell, and I avoided him."
"That arse." Sirius cut in.
"No, he just didn't know what to do. You guys, and Lucius, fucked him over pretty good in school. I never blamed him." Harry said softly.
"Harry, do you need some time? We could talk in the morning." Sirius suggested. The room had a tense yet comfortable feel to it.
"No, please stay. This will not get any easier and I feel safe right now." Harry said shakily. He didn't want Sirius to leave. Each word went straight to Sirius's heart.
"It wasn't until a Hogsmeade trip that he came to talk to me. I hadn't been feeling well and chose to stay behind. When I went down to the Great Hall for lunch, Severus was sitting at the professor's table, staring pointedly at me. Though I was tempted to leave I didn't. The next thing I remember was him asking me to follow him to his office." Harry let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Without realizing it, he had shut these memories away. Threw them away and never looked back; until now. This was indeed a long story and he was happy there was someone who cared enough to listen. His brow furrowed as he listened to this particular memory as it flooded his mind. It was as if he had just lived it. The memory flooded his senses, causing waves of emotions to strike the wall he had built inside.
FLASHBACK (November; 5th year)
"Mr. Potter, it is important that I see you in my office immediately." Snape sent a cold look his way but it wasn't the same as before. It was, dare he think it, softer.
"Yes, sir." Harry stepped up from the table and reported down to the dungeons.
"I notice you have been excelling this year, in potions, but you seem to be falling back lately." Snape inquired.
"I've had a lot on my mind, professor." Harry bit out the last word with hatred but still refused to take his gaze from the floor. His black boots came into view as two elegant, and surprisingly warm, hands cupped his face to tilt it upward. In a silent second, emerald jewels stared deep into the onyx eyes of his professor; his crush. Snape leaned in and took the striking raven haired by into a long desired and wanted kiss. Though Harry stood shocked, his body tingled with sensation and offered no resistance to the rough kiss being applied to his lips. Severus ran a tongue over his bottom lip, seeking entrance that was soon granted. They mapped out each other's mouths until air became an evident factor if this was ever to continue. (A/N: Mind you. Harry left out the glorious detail when talking to Sirius. Some things are for only him to know. Lol). A sweet, almost sugary taste lingered in his mouth after his professor pulled away.
Harry's face held a blissful yet confused look. This had been the last thing he thought Snape would do. For once, Harry's emotions were not played out in his eyes.
"Am I mistaken in thinking that is not what you wished?" Snape said softly. His normal sneer was missing, as was his impassive mask. It was now lingering between shock and sadness, at possible rejection. It was only for a second but long enough for Harry to see.
Snape was just about to break the unbearable awkwardness between them when Harry found his hidden voice. "No, I just never expected you to return my feelings." He answered truthfully before his gazed found its way to the floor once more.
"Look at me." Snape said soothingly. Harry didn't move until he heard the rest of what Severus had to say. "I know I have been an arse but you took me by surprise."
His head shot up and stared deep into Snape's eyes. I can't say I haven't wanted this but what changed your mind. Last I remembered, you despised me because of my father."
"Harry," Snape paused, unsure if he wanted to tell Harry the truth, though soon thought it best; "I never hated you and I didn't despise him. He hurt me in more ways than even his friends knew. It wasn't the teasing that ever caused me to hate him so much." Snape took a shuddering breath. He had never shared this information with anyone. Harry could tell Snape was fighting inner demons and was surprised he was being told the truth, for once. "All of our 4th year and half of our 5th, James and I snuck around and dated. When I told him I loved him, he dumped me that very second and told me he had moved on to Black. I never forgave him for that. The harder I fought everything, the worse it became. That is why he saved me that night. I didn't want to face the same thing with anyone else, so I didn't. Try as I might, I couldn't fight my feelings for you. I do not know about you Harry but I would like there to be an 'us'. Though tell me now if that is not what you desire." Severus finished and Harry wrapped his arms around the man. This was all the comfort and answer, one snarky potions master, needed. "My Sweet Gryffindor."
END of Flashback
Sirius stared at Harry, his eyes nearly out of his head. His tongue tied as words seem to slip his mind. James had never said a word. Though it probably was wise of him. How could he have not known? All those nights James had snuck out. Only now did it dawn on him.
"Sirius, he never told you." It was more a statement than a question. Harry had known of his father's relationship with Sirius, before Lily, for a long time.
"What then Harry?" He asked. He desperately wanted to avoid the subject before he broke down.
"We spent 10 months together. No one knew and that was for our safety as well as there own. I loved him and he loved me. Then the battle waged on. I watched him come back, time after time, battered worse than before and we chose to do the hardest thing of our lives. I took his memory of us. We made a specific potion to obliviate 'certain' things. He drank and I pretended. We both acted indifferent towards one another. For the final two months, I thought he had forgotten it all. Until he…he died." Harry burst into tears. He had never actually said it out loud before now. 4 years had passed and he hid himself in his own house with his 3 ½ year old daughter, Sasha Serpent Snape. True, the middle name was different, but it reflected her father's Slytherin qualities. Unfortunately, no one knew of her. He stayed hidden in Muggle London and no one had crossed the threshold of his home. She was his only living reminder of his soul mate. She was his life.
FLASHBACK (A/N: This is the final flashback, I promise.)
The day had been normal; so to speak. The battle raged around them as they charged for a final showdown. Death Eaters and friends scurried about, dodging curses and hexes that flew around him. Everyone seemed to have their own doppelganger to duel. Draco stood next to Harry and fought his old dorm mates and familiars as Harry tackled his own batch. Sirius fought Lestrange (again), Ron battled Crabbe and Goyle Jr., Hermione went against McNair, and Severus held off Lucius Malfoy.
It wasn't long before Harry's time came to fulfill the prophecy. His scared seared as the battle stopped to watch his face off with Voldemort. Time seemed to be at a stand still. Curse after curse flew, until both wizards were down to their final ounces of magic. In the end, Harry won. Sending the final blow against Voldemort. The war had been won but the Death Eaters wanted revenge for their fallen lord.
Hermione was struck form behind by a shadowed death eater. Her and McNair fell together in a crumpled heap of light and dark. Ron had won his battle but died a hero's death. He had dived valiantly in front of Sirius to take Lestrange's curse, allowing Sirius to kill her. Everyone else managed, everyone but one.
Severus's screams could be heard throughout the battlefield as he was hit with Crucio after Crucio. He was cornered as Harry ran to protect his once lover. But it was too late. 'Avada Kedevra' was screamed in unison by Lucius and Harry. Both Severus and Lucius dropped to their knees. Harry ran and came to cradleSeverus in his lap. Because of the amounts of power in both wizards, they did not die immediately. It was fast but more painful than anything imaginable. This was even more painful for Harry to watch.
"No…No, Severus, don't leave." Hot tears ran down his cheeks and it seemed as if they were the only two left in the world.
"I love you." He mumbled, his breaths growing weaker and more ragged.
"But…but, Merlin, I love you too." Harry whispered softly.
"I never took the potion." Severus confessed and began coughing violently. "I remember."
"You're gonna be a dad. Please, don't die." Harry pleaded.
"I trust you, lov…" With that, Severus Snape left this world for good. He joined everyone else, that Harry loved, that day.
Harry reluctantly let go of his lover and rushed to his friends. They, too, were lost. No Death Eater escaped his fury that day. The Wizarding World had been saved, at the destruction of his own.
END of Flashback
Each night he relived it with great detail. After the service, Harry had left to Muggle London and no one had heard from him, until now. His life was shattered.
6 Years Later
He stared at a lonely tombstone as his 10 year old daughter laid down a single, white lily on her father's grave. She had never known him but she was his double. Harry marveled at her onyx eyes, pitch black hair, and a personality to rival that of her father. They always visited him on his birthday, and several other times a year.
Only this time, his daughter read the simple words off his tombstone. A poem full of raw emotion and love. Her voice echoed beautifully through the empty cemetery as her heavenly voice articulated each word tenderly.
I Remember
Tenderness was ours
Love was something new
We held on forever
Always sure I loved you
You held me when I cried
My strength when I had none
My friend when all seemed lost
In the darkness, you were my sun.
A broken man
We saved each other
My heart is yours
Never for another
To a man who helped me
And never let me down
Brought me happiness until he fell
Still brings life into me now
Severus Snape
B: August 16, 1960
D: August 1, 1999
A Fighter, A Master, A Lover, A Friend
The words 'A Father' were engraved in deep silver and below the rest. He had added that last.
It was time to say goodbye and to wait for me.
AND that was exactly what Severus Snape did. He watched his family grow and awaited the day his love would join him again.
THE END
A/N: I hope you all liked. I know it was a little fluffy but the plot bunny finally left. Severus may be slightly out of character but I did my best. I hope to get feedback. I shall be experimenting more so please inform me as to what you would like to see or if I should do this couple again.