Disclaimer: I wish I could find J.K. Rowling and just go up to her someday and thank her for letting me play with her delightful characters. However, I can't, so I trust that this little disclaimer will serve as all the thanks I cannot give.

Author's Note: Hello everyone... sorry this has taken so long to complete. I'd forgotten how consuming school work could be! Well, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for... and a SPECIAL thanks to Amalynne O'hara and Goldilocks31890 for their creative help! And now, enjoy!

---

She was still wearing the long golden dress when he finally returned.

The roar of his motorcycle echoed through the flat and then shuddered to a stop. She paused to collect herself and moved away from the sink, the glass she was washing still in her hand. She stood in the hall and waited.

He stumbled through the front door and stared at her for a moment through slightly red eyes. He'd traded his dress robes for the black leather jacket she'd gotten him for Christmas, and it reeked of oil and booze. It took a moment for her relief to give way to anger, but when it did, it was swift and consuming, a volcano in the chest.

"Sirius Crispin Black, were you out drinking?!"

He sighed and said slowly, controlling his temper, "No, Ani, I was just looking at the vodka."

The sarcasm was too much and then some. She threw the crystal to the floor. It shattered into countless tiny pieces and Sirius winced, then turned black eyes onto her face. He didn't speak.

"Why did you leave?" she asked, his static stare drawing up the tiny hairs on her arms. "You didn't even get to see Remus... he kept asking where you were."

"Because," he answered, his voice shaking with suppressed anger, "unlike some people here, I'm of the opinion that there are more pressing things than parading around playing entertainer."

She fought against the hurt and squared her shoulders. "Well, forgive me," she retorted crisply. "Had I known you would be so adamantly against it, I wouldn't have agreed to it. My parents just thought it would be a nice way to formally announce the engagement."

He looked for a moment as if he were about to say something, but changed his mind at the last moment. He shook his head, the black hair he'd let grow so long swinging into his eyes, and headed for their bedroom.

But she was too quick for him. She raised her wand and slammed the door shut in his face. He stood with his back to her, silent, his slow, fiercely controlled breaths the only sound. She watched his shoulders rise and fall and felt a twinge of shame—she could hardly blame him for being surly. She'd attacked him as soon as he'd walked in the door.

"Sirius..." she tried, keeping her voice calm, trying to stop it from trembling. "Talk to me. The past few weeks, you've been so...there's something wrong, isn't there? Why won't you tell me?"

"There's nothing, Ani, just leave it alone."

"Love, I can't just leave it alone." She crossed over to him and reached out to take his arm, turning him slowly to face her. He looked down at her, eyes unreadable, face a blank. He didn't reach out for her. She placed her hands on his waist and stepped closer, tilting her head to look up at him. "I'm worried, Sirius, you've not been yourself lately and it's frightening me."

He barked a laugh and pushed her hands off of him. The sound was cold. "Perhaps this is the real me, Ani. Ever think of that? Maybe you're just seeing me truly now."

She started. This was not the direction she'd anticipated. "I refuse to believe that after knowing you for almost ten years and being in love with you for half of that I'm only now just seeing who you are," she answered.

"Stranger things have happened, Ani."

"Let's not fight," she requested, her hands beginning to shake. "I'm tired, you're tired, let's just go to bed. Okay?"

"Can't." He turned and reached for the doorknob to their bedroom. "I'm going to check on the Potters. I just wanted to come and grab a book I was going to let James borrow."

"Let me change and I'll go with you," she suggested, raising her wand. "I told Lily I'd tell her how the party was."

Sirius whirled around and stared down at her. "Take a hint, Ani, I'm going by myself!" he shouted.

"Sirius!" she cried, but he stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

Hot, angry tears seared her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She put her hand on the knob and turned—he'd locked it. "Sirius," she begged through the door, resting her forehead against the cold wood. A tear slipped down her cheek and fell to the floor. She stared at the tiny puddle on the wooden floor. "Please, just talk to me, tell me what's wrong." She was quiet for a moment. "Is it me?"

There was a long, painful quiet until the doorknob quietly clicked. She took a quick step back and watched as Sirius opened the door. His eyes were blacker than she'd ever seen them. He stood silhouetted in the doorway for a moment and then spoke quietly.

"It's me, Ani... it's just..." He sighed, raked a hand through his hair the way James did. "I've been thinking. I just don't know if this is for the best."

Her heart plummeted. "You mean the wedding?"

"Yes."

She was quiet. "I see." A beat passed and she asked, her voice straining, "Don't you think it's a little late for that?"

Sirius gave a half-shrug and brushed past her. "It's not too late 'til the wedding's over." He moved towards the front door.

"You're just going to leave?!" she cried, whirling around. "You tell me that you don't think this is 'for the best' and then you walk out?"

"To be honest, I really didn't want to discuss it tonight, Ani."

"Well that's a bit of a problem, isn't it, because I certainly would like to discuss it!"

Sirius growled low in his throat, then opened the door and stormed out. Flames of rage licked up through Ani's throat but were quickly extinguished by a sudden, sharp jolt of fear.

She could not let Sirius leave.

She flew out the door after him and clattered down the winding stairs. He was straddling his huge black motorbike when she flew into the street, the wind tugging at her dress and curls. He revved the engine and tossed back his long hair, black eyes staring out at her from a golden stream of lamplight. She walked slowly over to the bike and reached up to cup his face, his dear, handsome, haughty, angry face. He turned away from her.

"Sirius, please..."

"Move, Ani, I'm leaving."

She paused and drew in a shaky breath. She took the plunge. "Fine. I can't make you stay. But if you're going, don't come back."

For a moment she thought it had worked. Something moved over his face the cold that had taken over his eyes for in the past weeks seemed to melt away. But in an instant, it was gone.

He never came back to her.

---

The morning was bleeding into afternoon when a sharp sound echoed through the house.

Her nerves jangled, Ani sat bolt upright in her empty bed. What the bloody hell?! she thought wildly, her pulse hammering. It took a moment for her to understand that there was someone at the door. She slumped back against her pillows, waves of exhaustion cascading over her as the adrenaline faded. What a miserable night...

For the past few days—ever since Lupin had made his painful reappearance—her sleep had been restless, filled with vivid dreams that left splinters in her conscious mind. Dreams about cool, green England that she missed so much... dreams about Lily and James... dreams about Hogwarts, the years she'd spent there, the people she'd met. And then the worst dream of all, the one that had haunted her for the past twelve years, the one that left her with tears coursing down her cheeks upon waking... the night she last saw Sirius Black.

Downstairs the knocking sounded again. Her heart still bruised from the last time she'd answered her front door, Ani considered ignoring it for a moment. Whoever was there would go away, eventually. But she still found herself rolling out of the mangled covers and wrapping herself in her dressing gown. If it were one of her patients, she couldn't hide here in bed while they needed her.

She headed through the house, noticing to her displeasure that the grey weather that had followed the storm had burned off to clear blue skies. "Damn," she muttered under her breath as she reached the first floor. "The weather was just beginning to match my mood."

She absently straightened her hair as she approached the door, wishing she'd stopped long enough to brush her teeth. She peaked through the glass and her heart gave a leap. A tall blond man stood on the step, a colorful smear of flowers in his arms.

Lucas! A smile lit up her face as she tugged open the front door. She opened her mouth, about to speak, when her heart leapt into her throat and blocked all her words.

Orion Hellsing stood on the porch, a handpicked bouquet of roses and honeysuckle tumbling from his hands. "Your favourite, am I right?" her brother greeted her as he laid the flowers in her trembling arms.

"Rion!" Ani cried out, easy tears coming to her eyes. She embraced him with her free arm and let her brother crush her to his chest, burying her face in his corded shoulder. Words flowed as easily as the tears as her brother stroked the curls that tumbled over her shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice muffled against his shirt. He pulled back and smiled charmingly down at her as she snuffled and wiped at her eyes. "How did you—no. No, I don't even need to ask. Lupin, God damn him, that meddlesome little... I'll kill him, I'll—"

"Why don't you get those flowers into some water and I'll make you a cup of tea before we go about killing people?" Rion asked, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbing at her lashes. "Not that I'll let you, by the way. I happen to owe Remus quite a bit of thanks."

He held her at arm's length and looked over her slowly and appraisingly, eyes intent on her face. "You look fabulous, sweetheart," Rion told her sincerely. "Not a day older than I last saw you."

She blushed and examined him too, his blue eyes and his gold hair that had neither thinned nor faded with his age. Only the creases in his face could remind her how long they'd been apart. "You're not looking so bad yourself for the wrong side of thirty," she told him, wiping the last of her tears off her cheeks. "Come on, we'll get you that tea."

They moved into the kitchen where Ani reached under the sink and pulled out a plump vase for her flowers. "And don't think that sweet talking me is going to save Lupin a flogging if I ever see him again." A sliver of her old anger moved up in her as she glanced sideways at Rion. "I suppose that's why you're here? To back him up?"

Rion shrugged maddeningly and pulled his wand out of his pocket. Ani winced at the sight of it, but he ignored her and conjured up a tea tray and some cakes. "Add that to missing you terribly and you'd still only be half right," he answered pointedly.

Ani felt a surge of guilt and gave him a half affectionate, half exasperated look. "Sorry."

"So what've you done with yourself, besides turning into a Muggle?" Rion asked her, pouring out two cups of tea.

"Don't start, Orion."

"Fine, fine." He held up his hands in surrender. He glanced around him and said, "Speaking of which... I was hoping to meet your gentleman. Lucas, right? Remus spoke so... er... highly of him. So where is he?" He winked. "Have you hidden him, worried that more of us are going to flock down and scare him away?"

Ani cleared her throat and joined him at the table, sitting across from him and accepting a cup. "He's not here... hasn't been here for several days now, as a matter of fact." She laughed shortly. "Said he needed some time to clear his head after finding out the woman he's practically been living with for the past seven years was lying to him the entire time."

A brother's anger filled up Rion's face. "He just up and left?"

She sighed and sipped her tea. "You can hardly blame him, Rion... he didn't care I was a witch, just cared that I didn't tell him." She set the cup down and looked at her brother. "He couldn't understand that it was something I wanted to put behind me, something I didn't want to be part of any more. He just saw it as a lie, a deliberate omission." Ani laughed again. "'Course, if I'd told him I used to be a witch, he wouldn't have believed me."

Rion cleared his throat. "About that, Ani—"

Her pulse thudded. "No." She held up her hand. "I don't want to talk about it, Rion." He leaned back in his seat, looking somewhat discouraged, and Ani quickly steered away from the danger. "Tell me about you! Tell me about home. What's going on?"

This was clearly the right thing to say. Rion grinned at her and, with his wand, conjured up a photograph, which he slid into her hand. Ani's hands trembled as she looked down at the smiling, waving figures: Rion stood beside a smiling, pretty redhead. Each of them held in their arms a tiny girl with strawberry blond curls. Rion leaned over and explained. "My wife, Carolyn... and the twins, Bridget and Sarah, that's Sarah with me."

She struggled not to burst into tears. I've missed so much! "When did you get married?" she croaked.

"Five years this Christmas, Ani," Rion answered in a low voice. "The girls will be two in November. You've been gone a long time, darlin'."

His words brought the tears out again and she swiped at them, ashamed. Her brother reached out to take her hand and said quietly, "Don't cry. It's long over." He rubbed her hand gently. "Besides... we've more important things to discuss."

Foreboding ran its fingers down her spine. "Sirius Black."

"Yes."

"It's not up for discussion, Rion."

Rion's eyes darkened. "It's not safe for you to be alone and unprotected, Ani. I don't claim to understand why you left and if I thought you'd be happier and safer here, I'd leave you alone. But it's just not so. Black is mad and he's on the loose—" His voice shook: he paused, cleared his throat "—and I can't lose another member of my family."

The memory of their long-dead brother flooded Ani's head and she closed her eyes. "I didn't honestly think you'd resort to guilt," she told him bitterly.

"Desperate times, love."

"Rion, I just..." In frustration she pushed up from the table and began to pace. Her brother watched her steadily. "I can't go back, Rion, and furthermore I don't want to!" She turned pleading eyes onto him, begging him to understand. "Everything I've ever wanted to forget is waiting for me in England."

"I understand that, love, I do," he answered her, "but it won't be permanent. Hell, you can leave the minute Black's captured. I won't like it, but I'll understand. But please... for my sake... come back with me until then. You have to meet Carolyn and the girls anyway."

"I can't just leave!" she protested. "My house... my patients..."

"All of those things will wait. I'm sure it won't be long."

Her argument gone, Ani put a hand over her eyes and sighed wearily. A thousand fears seemed lodged in her chest, clawing and scrambling to be free. She choked out, "I don't know how I can face Mum and Dad."

Suddenly he was next to her and putting his arms around her. "You don't have to if you don't want to... though I wish you would. They still worry. But I won't make you. They don't even know I'm here."

She sniffled into his shirt and added in a low, petulant voice, "And I don't want to see Lupin."

He laughed and patted her back gently. "You don't have to... we'll stay in Salisbury."

"Give me a week to get ready?" she asked.

"You can't be alone that long, and I can't stay."

"How about two days?"

"Perfect."

---

She spent the next two days informing her patients that she would be gone indefinitely. Sarah Michaels—who would watch over her house—wept when Ani told her about the hiatus, and Todd Puckett's daughter May had wrapped herself around Ani's knees and begged her not to go. But she didn't start crying until she stood quietly on Lucas' front door step the hour before Rion was to come retrieve her.

He opened the door to her and for a moment they just stared at each other. His hair was squeaky clean but he looked as if he hadn't shaved since he'd left her house, and the rough layer of beard made him look older, and tired. His blue eyes held at her for a long moment before he spoke.

"Do you want to come in?"

She shifted uncomfortably and sighed. Yes! Yes, she wanted to come in! She wanted to come in, to hide away from what she had to do, stay in America, make up with him and hide away for the rest of her life. But she couldn't.

"I'd like to, but I can't stay."

Lucas nodded and leaned against the doorjamb. The anger that had been in his face the last time she'd seen him had faded—now there was only a mild reserve. "You're worried," he observed. "Your accent's thicker; much thicker. Did you think I was going to snap at you?"

Ani made herself laugh. "No, it's not that... I've got other things to worry about."

"Such as?"

"I'm going back to England, Lucas."

He was quiet for a long moment. "I see."

She rushed, "Not permanently. My—my brother came to see me. I'm going back with him."

Lucas laughed, a sound without happiness. "I didn't even know you had a brother." He narrowed his eyes. "Is this because of your friend? Lupin?"

A stab of pain hit her heart. All the trust he'd had for her was gone. "No. I don't intend to see Lupin while I'm home." She hesitated, the lies she'd been so used to spinning to protect him, to protect herself, on the tip of her tongue. She fought against them and said slowly, "There's been a breakout from the wizard prison, Azkaban... a man escaped and my brother is worried he'll come after me."

"Did you know him?"

"I thought I did, once."

The reserve had gone from Lucas' face and now he looked almost frightened. He opened his mouth, then hesitated, and in a rush asked her, "Do you want me to come with you?"

Aching, she answered, "I'd like nothing better, sweetheart, but I just don't think it's for the best." She closed her eyes and clenched her fists and said carefully, "I don't even want to go back. The last time I was in England, I was a witch, and I gave that up because—well, it's not important why. I just didn't want it anymore. So needless to say, there's a lot of history and a lot of people I left behind who are waiting for me, and for my explanation."

She opened one eye, expecting a fight, but his eyes were resigned. "You do what you think is best," Lucas answered, and there was no bitterness in his words. "How long will you be gone?"

"Until they catch him... I don't know how long."

"Well, just... be careful, okay?" He cleared his throat and she knew how hard this must be for him. "And let me know how you are."

Unable to stop herself she flew into him and cinched her arms around his waist. He hugged her back, so tight she almost couldn't breathe. "I'm so sorry for all of this," she whispered in agony.

Lucas nodded, his chin bumping the top of her head, and nodded. "I know," he answered. He pulled back slightly and pushed her chin up to meet his eyes. "Would you have told me, Ani?" Her heart constricted as he said her true name. "I mean, eventually? If we'd gotten married or something, would you have told me?"

Not wanting to lie, unwilling to tell the truth, she answered as best she could. "If I had ever told anyone, it would have been you."

He nodded, satisfied with her answer, and gave her a long, slow, heartbreaking kiss. Their tears mixed. "I love you, little otter," Lucas told her as she pulled away, her breath coming out in hiccoughs.

"I love you too," she whispered, and watched as he closed the door behind her.

Just not as much as you deserve.

---

With a sigh Ani closed her large trunk and tried not to think of the velvet-wrapped box that sat at the bottom. She dragged it down the stairs and looked sadly around her home. She'd come to America with hardly anything, traveled through New York state living in hotels, and had come to Caprice just as old man McHerrin was putting his lodge up for sale. He told her she reminded him of his daughter—he gave her the lodge for practically nothing. She had been there ever since.

Who knows when I'll be back to see it?

She sighed and moved into her kitchen to make one last cup of tea before Rion arrived to take her back to England. As she sat at the first table she'd ever owned herself and sipped the hot chamomile, her hands were shaking slightly. Back to England. She couldn't help but feel terrified, despite the fact that everyone claimed this was for her own safety.

And if Black does find you? a tiny voice in her mind inquired. What will you do then, should he decide to kill you?

"I don't know," she whispered back. Her fists clenched. "I don't know."

There was a telltale crack! and Ani knew, though she hadn't heard the sound for years, that Rion had Apparated inside her house. "I'm in the kitchen," she called out, rising to rinse out her teacup. "I'm ready to go."

A swishing sound, that of long robes and a cape, moved through the hall and Ani frowned slightly. Rion had come to her last time wearing Muggle clothing—surely he would do so again? A grip of fear caught her and against all her logical reasoning, her heart screamed.

It's Black!

She backed up against the sink and thought, panicking, of the box she'd placed in her trunk. If only it were in her reach! She groped blindly behind her for the butcher knife that stood waiting. It's all I've got...

But an instant later her fear was gone, and it was replaced by a shock and a loathing so intense that she was amazed it didn't knock her on her rear.

He was taller than he'd been when she'd last seen him, but otherwise he was exactly the same. Tall, dark and oily, with a hooked nose that protruded from his face like a malignant parrot's beak. Dressed all in black, Severus Snape—former Death Eater and former member of the Order of the Phoenix—stood in her kitchen, a sneer on his lips.

Words nearly failed her. "You!" she snarled, pushing away from the countertop. "What are you doing in my home?"

"I should think that was obvious," Snape replied imperiously, looking at her with colorless eyes. "I'm taking you back to England... to Hogsmeade, to be exact, where you will be staying until the murderer Sirius Black has been caught."

"Like hell I am!" she retorted angrily. "I'm going home with my brother, to Salisbury!"

"Yes, well, that was the plan," Snape answered. "No more. Your brother informed our mutual friend the werewolf of his intentions and both Lupin and Albus Dumbledore took objection to it. It appears they believe you will be safer in Hogsmeade, where better wizards can keep an eye on you." He lifted one brow and his sneer deepened. "Though I think it's quite a waste, honestly, to be putting such protection over you. Let the traitors destroy one another... we'd all be the better for it."

Her mouth dropped open, blazing with anger, her vision blurring. This piece of filth dared to call her a traitor?!

She drew breath, ready to tell Snape just what he could do with his wand, when he turned on his heel and stalked out of her kitchen. "Come along," he called after her, "and don't make me use force. I've much more important things to do than spend my time nursemaiding you."

Never. She stood her ground, refused to move. How dare Lupin and Dumbledore presume to treat her like a child this way? How dare they?!

"Now!" Snape shouted, and suddenly Ani felt as though invisible threads were winding around her feet and waist and neck. She was propelled forward, unable to stop, ensnared by Snape's magic. She slid into her entranceway, where Snape stood by her trunk, his wand raised. She crashed into the trunk and gripped it, glaring up at him, wishing she were a dog so she could rip his hand from his flesh. "Hold on to your trunk," Snape ordered, placing one hand upon it as well. "And don't let go."

"You miserable—" she started, but her words were cut off. Something hooked behind her navel and in a flare of color she was being hurtled forward, far, far forward, against her will. Her trunk was a Portkey. She was going to England, whether she liked it or not.

With Snape.