Yeah! Chapter 6! Everyone, this is my sixth chapter, my longest story on fan fiction. So it is extra-long, and is humorous…a sing-off to relieve cabin fever! If anyone's wondering the girl ALEXANDRA is the same girl from Met God's Will! Read it! Review it! Oh, and Remy will appear in this chapter! YEAH! ROMY!
Disclaimer: I own neither X:Men nor any of the songs…(In order: 'That Don't Impress Me Much' by Shania Twain, 'From this Moment' by Twain, 'Once You've Learned to Be Lonely' by Reba, 'Redneck Woman' by Gretchen Wilson, and 'What Happened' by Gretchen Wilson). Don't sue me.
Chapter 6-A Taste of Insanity
The flyer appeared the next morning, after nearly an evening of begging and planning. Southern Sing-Off! Heralded it. You Favorite Country Songs! Try your hand at the skits and singing brought to you from good ol' Southerners. For more information see Rouge, Alexandra, or Mirabilis. The three of them did not receive a moment of rest, for all the acts they were seeing. That evening, though it was short notice, was the show. The public was invited, but a strong doubt existed that it would bring any one here. But when the curtains did open at the open-aired theater, a scattered audience had arrived.
"Welcome, y'all," Rouge spoke into the Mr. Microphone that had been provided for the show. "Tonight, you shall see the youngsters from Xavier's Institute for Gifted Children in many different funny skits. But first, a word from Mirabilis, the one who thought of this whole plot."
Mirabilis walked- no stumbled- onto the stage in a long, green toga. She blinked her eyes, and Rouge asked her, "Where did you get that?"
"I saw it in the window and I just had to have it!" Mirabilis replied, getting the smattering of audience to burst out laughing. "However, I must introduce our first act, Miss Jean Grey!"
The red-haired telepath smiled as she took the stage. All day had she prepared this monologue, and was ready. "Now, all of y'allses, I was in Virginia the other day, and boy are they crazy! Truly, I went into a cafeteria, and shouted SNOW, and the whole place fell apart in minutes!"
The audience laughed, knowing she had struck gold in her topic. She continued, "Then I said, 'Up North WE can hold our snow. Then the group of school-aged children said, 'Why would else would the geese fly to us?'"
Another smattering of polite applause, and Jean went off the scene, Kitty waiting for her lead in. Alexandra took center stage, and a certain blue elf came by and stole a small stick of kindling for the bonfire they would light when it became too dark. "Next we have our own Kitty Pryde, singing 'That Don't Impress Me Much.'" She shot Kurt an awkward glance, then add, "She will be assisted by our emergency back-up dancers, Kurt, Scott, and Logan!"
Kitty yanked the Mr. Microphone away, while leaning on Scott's arm and looking into his eyes, "
I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart,
But you've got being right down to an art,
You think you're a genius- you drive me up the wall-
Ohh-oo-oh you think you're special,
Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else.
Okay, so you're a rocket scientist."
She broke away from Scott's arm to face the audience, dancing very carefully to her coordinated song "
That don't impress-e me much!
So you got the brains but have you got the touch?
Now don't get me wrong I think you're all right,
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night…"
She turned her attention to poor Kurt, repeating her actions, "
I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket
Or a comb up his sleeve- just in case
All that extra gel in your oughta lock it
'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall out of place.
Okay, so you're Brad Pitt
That don't impress-e me much!
So you got the looks but have you got the touch?
Now don't get me wrong I think you're all right,
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night…"
She turned to Logan, an impish grin on her face, "
You're one of those guys who like to shine his machine,
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in,
I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight
Com'on baby- you must be joking.
Okay, so you've got a car.
That don't impress-e me much!
I think you're cool but have you got the touch?
Now don't get me wrong I think you're all right,
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night…"
Kitty skipped off the stage, impishly bowing. Rouge smiled gently, prepared for her own act, one of two she would unveil that night, a duet with Mirabilis, both dressed in half-shirts and jeans for the part. The elf once again, dressed in an odd costume with a bow, came and stole a slightly larger piece of wood. Another awkward glance, and they began to belt out, "
Well I ain't never been the Barbie doll type
No I can't swig that sweet champagne
I'd rather drink beer all night
In a tavern or in a honky tonk
Or on a 4 wheel drive tailgate
I've got posters on my wall of Skynard, Kid and Strait
Some people look down on me But I don't give a rip
I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard
with a baby on my hip
Cause I'm a redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin' And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on,
on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Victoria's Secret
Well their stuff's real nice
Oh but I can buy the same damn thing
on a WalMart shelf half price
And still look sexy
Just as sexy
As those models on TV
No I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
You might think I'm trashy
A little too hard core
But in my neck of the woods
I'm just the girl next door
Hey I'm a redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on,
on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
I'm a redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on,
on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Ol' Bocephus song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
I Said Hell Yeah"
Rouge and Mirabilis smiled and left the stage to rummage through the trunks she had left for her final act's costume. Rouge, however, stayed to call Remy up, and kneeled, singing, "
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on"
A face was not left dry. Mirabilis, in the final act, came forth in her beautiful red-slashed yellow dress and over robe, looking over the audience. Kurt came in and stole a large stick of firewood. Enraged, she turned and yelled, "I can't stand it! Who are you?"
"I'm Robbin' Wood. I steal from the birch to give to the sycamore!"
When they had disconnected her from his throat she finally came forth in her final role. "We have had a remarkable evening. Now I shall perform the last single act, then the group will come forth for a final song. Thank you.
You're asking me to open up
I'm tryin' my best to give enough
To keep this love alive
It wouldn't be so hard for me to do
If it hadn't have been for all my heart's been through
But once you've learned to be lonely
And lonely is the only thing you've known
It begins to feel like home
It becomes your comfort zone
Once you've learned to be without someone
And settle for the silence of an empty room
Oh,it changes you
There's a lot you have to undo
Once you've learned to be lonely
It becomes a habit of the heart
To be afraid and even start
To try and love again
I want to give you myself to you
But I've been alone that I'm scared to move
But once you've learned to be lonely
And lonely is the only thing you've known
It begins to feel like home
It becomes your comfort zone
Once you've learned to be without someone
And settle for the silence of an empty room
Oh,it changes you
There's a lot you have to undo
Once you've learned to be lonely
I've built walls but I feel them falling down
Touch by touch your love is my way out
But once you've learned to be lonely
And lonely is the only thing you've known
It begins to feel like home
It becomes your comfort zone
Once you've learned to be without someone
And settle for the silence of an empty room
Oh,it changes you
There's a lot you have to undo
Once you've learned to be lonely
There's a lot you have to undo
Once you've learned to be lonely"
The entire X-Men came out, all dressed in their normal clothing, singing, in certain cases, caterwauling, "
In a sandalwood frame
We bought in New Mexico
I was wearin' the chain that old Indian made
That we practically stole
Little shells in a jar
We found Hanalei Bay
Got those matching tattoos
And those ten dollar shoes
To remember our stay
If it hadn't been so good I wouldn't feel so sad
If we hadn't been so happy, baby,
It wouldn't hurt this bad
If you had told me this last summer
I'd be on the floor laughin'
Instead of standing round breakin' down
Wonderin' what happened
What am I suppose to do
Without my very best friend
Boy you left me in shock and tied up in knots
Then it hits me again
If it hadn't been so good I wouldn't feel so sad
If we hadn't been so happy baby,
It wouldn't hurt this bad
If you had told me this last summer
I'd be on the floor laughin'
Instead of standing round breakin' down
Wonderin' what happened
If you had told me this last summer
I'd be on the floor laughin'
Instead of standing around breakin' down
Wonderin' what happened"
The entire group bowed, and left behind stage. All had decided, though not brilliant, it was well done for the short-notice. It was well done.