Note: I forgot to address the wonderful reviewers when I posted Chapter 11. Thank you so much. Sometimes I question whether what I am writing will satisfy an audience or just myself. I'm glad this story is resonating with you. It's been in my head ever since I saw Danny's heartbreaking expression at the end of Little Big Man. He looked so sad- as if he knew exactly how hard life could be.

Once again, Danny found himself following a very solitary routine. He went from the studio apartment to school to work and then back to the studio at night. He didn't talk to anyone at school even though there were rumors swirling about what happened to Katie and how Danny was involved. Even though he knew it was for the best, he still missed Katie terribly. He missed waking up and watching her sleep. He missed her sweet smile. He missed touching her and kissing her. Most of all, he missed the potential of what they could have had together. He felt like she was his missing piece.

Danny turned back to drinking to numb the pain. He hadn't had a drink since he got drunk at Homecoming. At first, it was just a couple of beers after work, but as it always did with Danny, it escalated to needing a drink just to face school each day. About a month after moving into the studio, Danny was at home drinking beer on a Friday night. He was on his fourth beer and feeling more relaxed by the second when he heard a knock at the door. No one had come to see him since he moved in, so he couldn't imagine who it was. When he opened the door, he was surprised and very annoyed to see Payton.

"How the hell did you find me?"

"Silly, Danny. You know how determined I can be. I followed you home after school," she said as she breezed past him into the apartment. "Now this is a step up, Danny boy. From rat hole to rat condo."

"Oh please…come in," he said sarcastically as he turned to her. She was already sitting on his bed. "What do you want?"

"Funny you should ask. Before I tell you, I thought maybe you would want some refreshments, but I see you started without me," she said as she removed a bottle of tequila from a paper bag.

Danny looked at the tequila like it was gold. All he could think of was how fast he could get drunk if he drank that. Payton rose from the bed and searched for two glasses in the kitchen cupboard. She poured two shots of tequila and handed one to Danny. "What shall we drink to," she said as she rose her glass to his. "I know…let's drink to our little Shakespeare sweetheart." And then she tipped the glass up and drained it. Danny looked at her in disgust, but still drained his shot. She refilled both glasses. "Have you heard the news about our Katie?"

Danny had heard several Katie rumors over the last month. The most popular was that he got her pregnant, but most people didn't really believe that one because he was still alive. The other theory was that he dumped her and she tried to kill herself, and finally the one that was closest to the truth. Her parents found out about them and sent Katie away. "I doubt you really would know anything about her," he said as he drained his glass again.

"You couldn't be more wrong. Apparently, the Mason's were so desperate to salvage poor Katie's reputation that they made her enter this debutante class at their club. She was escorted last night by Brian Adair," she said as she handed Danny the newspaper's society page. "This is proof positive to all who matter in Manhattan that Katie is still a prim, proper princess."

Danny looked at the picture of Katie in a billowy white formal gown. She looked beautiful. As much as it hurt him to see it, he responded, "That's great. I'm happy for her."

"Sure you are," Payton replied sarcastically. "What I want to know is how far did things go between you two? And what did you do to deserve a studio in one of Mason's buildings? How much is he paying you to stay away from her?"

"Shut up, Payton," Danny said as he took another drink.

"Oh come on, Danny," she said as she sat down on his bed. "I know you were sneaking into her apartment at night. If I didn't know better, I would believe the pregnancy rumor, but I know you. I know how careful you are in that department. It was one of the many things I appreciated about our…encounters."

"I think it's time for you to go, Payton," he said as he tried to take hold of her arm, but she shrugged him away and lay back on the bed.

"I bet they caught you together…maybe in the heat of the moment when you were making her moan…in that way only you can. I bet that was a sight for her parents…catching their sweet innocent Katie in the midst of an orgasm," she said laughing. "But what doesn't add up is how you got here? I mean why didn't Mason throw your ass in jail."

Danny was on his fourth shot. He took a seat on the chair across from the bed since he didn't think Payton was going to leave anytime soon.

And then the truth clicked with Payton, and she continued. "Unless…unless…you didn't sleep with her at all. That's it, isn't it? Oh how sweet, Danny."

"Is there a reason why you are so interested in my life?" he asked annoyed. "Why aren't you with Trevor? Didn't it just make your day that he defended your honor?"

"Right…sorry about that. I was pissed and a little jealous, but now I know…I didn't need to be jealous because nothing was happening with Katie. She wasn't putting out for you. How classic. That must have been quite blow to your ego."

"You couldn't understand my relationship with Katie if you tried," he spatted more than a little drunk now, and then he drank another shot.

Payton stood up from the bed and walked toward Danny. "Do you love her, Danny?"

"Shut up…"

"You'll never have her. Her parents will never allow her to be with someone like you…you're way below their standards. They will keep her in that virgin vault as long as it takes. And then one day, they'll marry her off to some rich aristocrat like Brian Adair. And he'll be her first…not you," she said with a teasing smile. "It's OK…she'll never know what she missed with you."

"Shut up…" he said angrily again as he drank another shot.

"You seem a little frustrated, Danny boy. I bet even though you weren't getting any from Katie, you were still faithful," she said as she kneeled in front of where he was sitting in the chair. "That means…it's been a very long time since…" She put her hands on his thighs and leaned in to him.

Danny was drunk. He knew that being with Payton would be bad, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. He watched as Payton poured another shot and drank it. Then she put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him toward her. When she kissed him, the tequila drained into his mouth…so he kissed her back.

The next morning when Danny tried to open his eyes, a pain shot through his brain like he had never felt before. He looked on the bedside table and saw the empty bottle of tequila. Then he looked on his other side and saw Payton fast asleep with her head on his stomach and her arms wrapped around him. A feeling of dread filled Danny. He knew he was going to be sick…so he slowly moved her arms and head, and then slipped out of bed. He went to the bathroom and dry-heaved because he didn't eat anything the night before. He sat on the bathroom floor for what seemed like an hour. He couldn't move. He racked his brain trying to think about the previous night. He remembered kissing Payton. He remembered wanting to forget about Katie and everything else. But then he remembered pushing Payton away and asking her to leave because every time he opened his eyes he saw Katie's face. He couldn't be with Payton or anyone else while he was still in love with Katie. Clearly, Payton didn't leave. She must have waited until he passed out and then got in bed next to him.

He finally found enough strength to turn the shower on. He stepped in to the hot stream of water and wished the night before away. The reality of what could have happened reared its head when Payton stepped into the shower with him.

"Morning, baby," she said as she put her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his back. "Last night was…well…abstinence didn't make you lose your touch."

Danny turned around and shrugged her away. "Nothing happened, Payton. I was drunk…I wasn't dead."

"Well, it almost happened. You wanted to…," she said as she tried to touch him again.

"No, I didn't," he said as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel.

Payton walked out of the bathroom behind him and put on his NY Mets t-shirt. "Look…what if I said I didn't care anymore…that I didn't care about appearances. That was so stupid, Danny. I was acting like a child. We could be a real couple…"

"Are you delusional? No way," he said as he tried to find some aspirin.

"Think about how great we could be together. We could live together. When I come home from Wellesley on the weekends, we could spend all of our weekends and holidays in bed…making love," she said as she came up and tried to put her hand inside his towel.

He took hold of her of her wrists to stop her. "Stop it, Payton. We don't have, nor will we ever have a relationship. Last night was almost a mistake, but nothing happened," he said sternly and then let go of her.

"Is this because you think you still have a shot with Katie? Because you don't. It will never happen," she said as she pulled on her jeans and gathered her things together.

"I know that it's over with Katie. That's not it. I just don't want to be with you. Now, please…get out," Danny said and then went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Danny couldn't believe Payton's nerve. He was sure she planned the whole thing, as usual. And he almost played right into her hand because he couldn't stop drinking. He started to hate himself more and more. It was easy to hate himself when Katie wasn't around to make him feel worthy.

Danny got through the last month at Brentland and finally graduated from high school. He didn't go to graduation. He didn't have any desire to walk across that stage and see all those families. Instead he took an extra shift at the supermarket, and then went home and drank a six-pack.

In June, he moved out of the studio apartment. He never heard a word from Mr. Mason. He just packed his things and left the key. He moved into a dorm. He was due to start summer classes in a week. With the exception of missing Katie like crazy, things were going fairly smoothly for Danny. His only other problem was that Payton wouldn't leave him alone. She seemed determined to worm her way back into his bed, but he held his ground even though his constant drinking made him almost weak enough to succumb to Payton's overtures. She even found his dorm and would drop by unexpectedly. He only let her in because she brought liquor. He knew that eventually she would go off to Wellesley, and he wouldn't have to deal with her…so he didn't make a big deal of her visits. He'd come to realize that Payton was a very lonely, messed-up girl.

One night, he was taking a break in the alley behind the supermarket. He took a quick drink out of the flask he carried. And then out of nowhere, heard someone say, "Danny…"

He turned around. Katie was standing right in front of him. He didn't know what to say to her. He felt stupid holding the flask…so he put it down. He always told himself he'd never drink around her again.

Without a saying another word, Katie almost floated towards him. Before he knew what was happening, her arms were around his neck. On instinct, he encircled her waist and held her close. She smelled amazing to him. She let out a deep breath and said, "I've missed you so much."