I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that I've been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time

And I really really really care
And I really really really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really really really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

My heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know that
I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
There's one disadvantage
I think you should know that I've been damaged

I might look through your stuff, for what I don't wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid, from what I've been through
Don't know what you got yourself into

And I really really really care (and I care about you so much)
And I really really really want you (I really do want you)
And I think I'm kinda scared (but I'm scared with every touch)
Cos I don't want to lose you (cos I don't want to lose you)
If you really really really care (if you care for me like you say)
Then maybe you can hang through (then maybe you can hang through)
I hope you understand (I hope you understand)
It's nothing to you (it's nothing to you, you) Damaged-TLC

A/N: Yes the twins are 18 months old a typing mistake. We are skipping one year into the future because it is more interesting that way. Trust me.

Alex's Pov

It was early in the morning I was out jogging which I did everyday at this time. I noticed a woman walking with a little boy he looked a little older than the twins. I smiled and kept up the pace I was jogging. Adam would be almost 2 now I still miss him but I have Deacon and Destiny to keep me busy and that they do. I want to tell them about Adam when they are older but for right now taking them to visit the grave is enough. I start touring next week which means I won't see my babies for a while. I heard my song Fall Apart on the radio the other day that was wierd but not as wierd as hearing Randy singing my songs in the shower that is too much I tell him to shut up because he can't sing he may be as hot as Nick Lachey but he does not have his voice. Anyways I was jogging when I felt somone latch onto my leg I look down and it's the little boy.

"Mommy please don't let her hurt me" he said. Before I could say anything heard the woman calling out the boy's name.

"Adam" she yelled "Adam Michael get back here right now"

This could not be happening I must be dreaming this.

"I'm so sorry about this" the woman said trying to pry the boy away from my leg. "he has never done this before"

"It's ok" I said "hey Adam listen I'm not your mommy but I'm sure this lady doesn't want to hurt you". My voice was shaking so badly I could barely get my words out. Either the woman didn't care or she didn't notice that I was having a really hard time.

"Well I think we've bothered you enough" she said. It was then that I thought she looked really familiar but I couldn't place her face. I decided to leave the park and go back home. When I reached the house I was shaking and from what I remember Randy telling me I was white as a ghost. A ghost is that what I just saw no it couldn't be I'm just missing him too much and now I'm seeing things yeah that's what it was.

"Alex are you alright" Randy asked I locked myself in the bathroom so he was making sure I was ok.

I splashed some water on my face and then opened the door.

"Are you ok" he asked again

"Yeah" I answered

"Did something happen while you were out" he asked

I was about to answer when I heard on of the twins cry.

"I have to go check on that" I said as I walked past him

"We are going to talk later" he said

"Ok" I replied

I walked into the nursery and Deacon was standing up in his crib.

"Hey Lil D" I said (A/N: I know stupid nickname but I find using first names incredibly boring plus that's what I call my nephew)

He held his arms out and said up. I picked him up and then grabbed his sister who was waiting patiently to be picked up. I took them downstairs and fed them then after their baths we watched some cartoons. They loved to watch Winnie the Pooh which was fine with me because I love Tigger. I had almost forgot about the little incident at the park this morning when the phone rang I picked it up and said hello.

"Hi is Adam there" the person asked

"Sorry nobody by that name lives here" I said

"Ok sorry" the person said and then hung up.

This was going too far first that boy now people are calling asking for Adam I must be going crazy. Randy came downstairs with his bags there was a houseshow tonight in St. Louis so he would be home later.

"Are you coming" he asked

"No I don't feel well I think I'm going to stay here" I replied

"Ok I'm taking the kids over to Becky's then" he said

"That's fine" I replied

As soon as he left I went upstairs and packed my clothes and wrote Randy a note.

Randy

I need sometime to myself I'm driving myself crazy. I keep thinking I'm seeing Adam. I love you but I just need to go away for a while.

Alex

With that I threw my stuff into the car and then took one last look around the house and then I left and I wasn't sure when I was going to be back.