Ten Things That Never Happened To Xander
Simone of the Zordiak
CHALLENGE
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Based on the drabble style, write 10, 100-word drabbles. The subject is Ten Things That Never Happened To Insert Name Here. The character can be any major (Buffy, Willow, Angel, etc.) or minor (Anne, Ethan, Eve, etc.) character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel.
Each different drabble should be a crossover with another fandom. You can cross over with any fandom you want, as long as you don't repeat fandoms within the same character.
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X-Men (101 words)
Harry Potter (100 words)
Labyrinth (100 words)
Castlevania (100 words)
Final Fantasy 7 (100 words)
Highlander (100 words)
Yu-Gi-Oh (100 words)
Fushigi Yuugi (100 words)
Hercules/Xena (100 words)
Gundam Wing (101 words)
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners or creators of Xander or any other story or character mentioned. No harm is intended to the copyright holders. This drabbles were written purely for my own amusement and hopefully the enjoyment of others.
Xander...
... never had a complicated Family history
He looked down at the chart, then back at the man and tried to sum up the story in a few sentences.
"So, you're saying this Sinister guy took some genes of you, some of you son's and your daughter's, put it into a blender and created me?"
The man nodded.
"Does that makes you my father, or my grandfather? And your kids, are they my siblings, my parents, or my aunt and uncle and can I say ewwww that sound so like incest it isn't funny any more." Magneto rubbed his temples. This was going to be a long night.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
... never mothered a dragon
It could have happened to nobody else. Only he would stumble over the stone that wasn't a stone, only he could be the first person the dragon saw as it hatched. And because the dragon had seen him first, it now believed him to be his mother.
He had went to Giles in full panicmode and the Watcher had called some contacts in merry old England. Now he only had to wait for him to come.
Xander sighed as he stood up for the 4 o'clock feeding. He really hoped this Weasley guy could help him out of this mess.
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... never got wished away
Xander fumed as he watched out of the window. The girls were slayers, they should know better than to simply use the W-word because they just had seen the damned movie.
The owner of the castle stepped behind him, smiling.
"You know, their time is almost up and despite their powers, none of them even made it to the city. They will lose and then you are mine."
Xander sighed. Of course he knew.
"But you are too old to become a goblin," Jareth mused, "so I'll have to turn you into something else. Ever thought about becoming a fae?"
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... never found out about his former live
He snuggled to the one that completed him and listened to the soft sigh his husband released.
"You know, in all this time since I lost you, I never even thought that you could be reborn as a male." The rumbling voice broke through the silence.
"Hmmm, but here I am and it still feels as good as in my last life."
"For me too," he pulled the younger male closer to him, basking in his warmth, "Just one little thing: how do we tell Adrian that his mother is now a man?"
Xander choked, then he started to laugh.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
... never fell through a portal
If he survived this, he would never ever touch a videogame again, he swore.
Or at least he would make sure that Andrew hadn't tried out unknown spells on his console.
Well, if he survived.
"You are new to Midgar, right?"
The voice of his new superior commander broke through his musings.
"Yes, Sir."
"You never had training, but potential, I can see that. That's why you're working under me. What's your name?"
"Alexander, Sir. But my friends call me Xander."
His superior smiled at him. And Xander couldn't suppress a shiver.
"Thank you, Xander. You may call me Sephiroth."
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... never got drunk with Methos
This was the last time he did Giles a favour, Xander decided as he died.
He'd driven to Seattle, at Giles request, delivering a very old book to a Mr. Adam Pierson, only to end up skewered on a very sharp sword as he entered the dojo Piersons friend was leading.
When he woke up hours later the same Mr. Pierson was standing over him with a bottle of beer in his hand and a self-ironic smirk on his face.
"Want to hear the good news first or the bad?" He asked a groaning Xander.
"Neither, just give me the beer!"
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... never got a magic eye
He really wanted to slap Willow. Right now. She had felt guilty about him loosing his left eye and had decided to mojo him a new one.
Well he could see... better than before, but now he also saw things nobody else did. And then They had shown up.
Xander looked at the teens, his left eye showing him that two of them were more than they appeared to be. And it seemed that they were telling him the truth, the eye didn't lie.
"Willow!" he angrily shouted through the house, "What's the deal with giving me a soulsucking eye?"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
... never became a Priest
He hated magic books, really hated them. And he wanted to bean the arrogant blonde over the head with one of them, preferable a heavy one, something like the "Complete Encyclopaedia of Monsters".
The only thing he'd done was opening the book, but that had been enough to draw him into it.
And now he was here, in some strange bookworld, with blondie looking him over like some tasty meat.
"A priest? In all the circles we never had a priest before. And yet he wears the sign of Seiryuu. Welcome Priest, my name is Nakago, leader of your Seishi "
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
... never ate the Jelly beans on the park bench
They had looked like Jelly beans. That was his only excuse and reason why he'd eaten them. He'd felt a bit low on sugar and they had been there, right on the park bench, that should have been his first warning sign... who in the world left a bag of Jelly beans on a park bench? Nobody!
But then he hadn't cared, had eaten them all and now he had to live with the consequences.
Xander, God of Chaos, that was his new métier.
Well, at least Bliss got grounded for disposing his daily ambrosia in such a sneaky fashion.
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... never unnerved a Gundam pilot
He looked up... and up and then he looked up some more.
"Wow," he stated, "this is really very big, I would even say extremely big, actually it is huge. Very huge. I'm getting a crick in my neck just from looking up."
His companion sighed, but let him continue, he had learned quickly enough that nobody could stop a Xander when he'd started babbling.
No threats or guns fazed him, he talked and talked. And did he already mentioned that he tended to bounce if he'd enough sugar?
Heero sighed and cursed the day Duo had brought his lover home.