Title: Till There Was You
Author: FoxsDana
Email:
Rating: R (adult themes, sexual situations)
Classification/Category: Red Shoe Diaries, Jake/Other romance
Dedication: To all the David Duchovny fans. To my husband who reminds me so much of Jake and helped me to learn to love again. To my friend and "sister" Jess. To Zalman King for creating the character of Jake. And to David Duchovny who's wonderful acting brought to life a beautiful and touching character by the name of Jake.
Summary: A young woman is ready to give up on love until she meets a man named Jake. Can Jake teach her to love again?
Feedback: Please I love it!
Archive: As long as you let me know where it's going!
Disclaimer: The character of Jake does not belong to me I'm only borrowing him from Zalman King! All other characters, places and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblances to the fictional aspects of this story are purely coincidental.
They say that at times in your life, you sit back and reflect on the past. You recall memories such as your first bicycle, when you got your drivers license, your first car, first kiss and first boyfriend. You also remember your first apartment, your first hosted party and your first real job. You also recall painful memories such as the time you fell out of a tree when you were eight, when you were beat up by the school bully for your lunch money, when you weren't picked to be on teams in gym class because you sucked. Then when you became an adult you experienced more major events such as fighting with your roommate and being kicked out, losing your virginity to a man who turned out to be a complete asshole, being used by a married man because you were weak. This has been the case with my life. I thought by the time I reached my late 20's that I would know what I wanted to do with my life. That I would have the perfect career, the perfect husband and the perfect house. It's amazing how your life doesn't turn out the way you originally wanted, isn't it? Here I was a graduate from college with no real career, living on my own and completely keeping men out of my life. I considered men to be only a burden and something to avoid. You can't blame me for taking on an attitude such as this when I was molested as a child, was used by men for sex and even harassed. It's because of these events that I also have low self-esteem. Does it mean I'm ugly? People tell me I'm not but it doesn't mean that I believe it. And besides even if I did want a man, why would he be interested in me? I'm not a supermodel or playboy bunny. I thought no man could change that attitude. All of that changed on one cold, winter night in December.
I look in the mirror and put the finishing touches to my hair. I normally wear my hair straight down but because of this special performance I have to resort to pulling it up. "Jess, could you hand me that bow over there?"
A young girl with long blonde hair steps over to the side and finds a blue bow. "Here, try this one." She answers handing it to me.
I look at the bow. "Blue? For a Christmas performance?"
"Why not?"
"Well, because Christmas colors are normally red and green." I answer back.
"You don't celebrate Christmas remember?"
"That's true but my employer does and I would like to keep my job."
Jessica begins to pull up her own hair. "Dana, you're a soloist tonight. The soloist should always have something different than anyone else. And besides..." She reaches over and takes a strand of my red hair. "Blue will really accent your beautiful hair. Look, I doubt that anyone else will even see it. And if something is said, you can blame me ok?"
"Fair enough." I answer as I put the bow in my hair, fastening my hair in place. I sigh as I look at myself.
"What's wrong?" Jess asks turning toward me.
"What if I screw up? What if I forget the words?"
"Dana." She puts a hand on my shoulder. "You aren't going to forget the words. You've practiced that piece a thousand times. It's bound to have stuck in your mind by now."
"But that was at rehearsal, Jess. This is in front of an actual audience. And a large one I might add. It's kind of different performing in front of a crowd like this then just at Oak Tree Academy. This performance could determine whether I keep my job or not."
"You'll be fine." Jessica places her arm around me. "You have a beautiful voice, Dana. And tonight everyone in that auditorium is going to know it. Who knows? Maybe you'll even charm a man from the audience with it."
"Fat chance of that." I answer back rolling my eyes.
"Oh come on, they aren't all that bad." She moves away from me and goes back to applying make up. "What about that tenor? He seems to like you."
"David? He doesn't even know I exist." I answer as I put on some mascara.
"Oh come on, Dana! I've watched him in Opera Workshop and choir! How he looks at you. He's always volunteering to do duets with you. That has to mean something."
"It means that we sound good together when we sing." I answer back as I put on some eyeliner. "Just because we sing to each other and have done romantic duets don't mean that we are in love with each other, Jess."
Jessica shrugs her shoulders. "Whatever. We'll see who's right."
A knock then comes at the door. "Five minutes ladies!"
"Great, the executioner summons me for my death walk." I grumble. "All right, let's get this over with."
"Wait, wait! You need some lipstick!" Jessica replies grabbing a tube of lipstick. "Ok hold still."
"God I'm so nervous I forgot to put on lipstick! Who knows what else will happen out there now!"
"Will you stop fussing?" Jessica finishes applying the lipstick. "Ok pucker please." I pucker my lips at her. "There, perfect!"
"Are you sure?" I ask looking at myself in the mirror again.
"I'm positive." Jessica puts her arm around me again. "You look just like an angel sent from above. And some day you're going to meet a wonderful man who will sweep you off your feet."
I turn my head toward her. "You really are a good ass kisser you know that?"
Jessica smirks. "What can I say?" She looks me in the eye. "I mean it though, Dana. The man for you is out there somewhere and you will find him."
Another knock came at the door. "Places!"
"Ok, this is it." Jessica answers as she pulls away from me.
Giggles and footsteps fill the room as more ladies make their way out the door. Jessica and I soon follow and find us out in a hallway. We move through a line until we get into our assigned positions. At this time I'm glad that Jessica is next to me. Her and I have been through so much together. Even though we've only known each other for a few years it seems like forever. It's frightening on how we know so much about each other. How we sometimes know what the other is thinking before we say it. She is just like the sister I never had. And if there is anyone I would wish to be here to witness this experience with me, it's her. I'm closer to her than even my own parents. I then feel her take my hand.
"You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be." I answer taking a deep breath. "I'll just be glad when it's over."
"You'll be fine." Jessica answers smiling. "And remember no matter what happens..."
"Sisters for life." I answer joining my pinky finger with hers.
"Dana?"
I turn around and find myself looking at David, the tenor that Jess and I were speaking about earlier. "Oh, Hi David." I reply with a polite smile. David really isn't bad looking. He has brownish hair, is of medium height, blue eyes. Definitely a man that any girl wouldn't mind being around. But I am not that particular girl. That's the way that all men start out with. Good looking, charming and then they get what they want from you and become their true self.
"I just wanted to wish you good luck tonight." He takes my hand and kisses it gently.
"Oh, well thank you, David. I...I really appreciate that."
"You're welcome." David replies back with a smile. "Well, I'd better get back in my spot before the director has my head." He lets go of my hand and bows before backing away.
"Hi David!" Another young girl named Mary replies from the back.
"Oh....Hi, Mary." David replies turning toward her.
"You really look nice in that outfit and I just loved hearing your solo the other day!"
"Thanks." David replies with a slight smile. "Well, if you'll excuse me I need to get back in line."
"See ya later!" Mary replies waving at him as David walks off. "He is SO cute!"
"Yeah, cute." I reply in an unenthusiastic tone. Mary Walker, one of those girls who throw herself at any man who pays attention to her. Sadly, one of the thorns in my side in the men department as well as vocal. She has one of those supermodel bods that any guy would kill for. She also thinks she's God's gift to men. And now she has her sights set on David just because he talks to me. Some things never change.
"I think I may ask him for a drink later." Mary replies primping her hair.
"Yeah, you'll need to get him drunk so that he'll want to sleep with you." Jess replies next to me.
Mary turns toward Jess. "Excuse me?!"
"Oh I'm sorry. Is all of that bull shitting talk of yours starting to make you go deaf?"
"Watch it blondie!"
"Bring it on, one nighter!"
A man then walks over toward us. It's the director and he does NOT look amused. "Is there a problem here, ladies?"
Jessica looks back at the director. "Nope, no problem, Sir."
"Good. Then perhaps we might be able to perform on stage if you and Miss Walker have finished your discussion?"
"Absolutely." Jessica replies nodding her head. "Lead on."
"Thank you." The director then starts to walk off.
"Eat shit." Mary replies leaning in and whispering toward Jessica.
"No, I think that's your job." Jessica whispers back. "Or wait, you eat something else usually when your with men, don't you?" She asks raising her eyebrows.
It's at that moment that the lights dim and our line begins to move. I'm particularly glad that Mary and Jess' tension was broken by this performance. Jess is a good friend but sometimes I think she is too protective of me. Oh well, no time to think of that now, its showtime! I take in another deep breath before I take step onto the stage. Little do I realize that the performance on this night will change my life forever.