Forbidden Fantasy: Soulmates
Fantasy's Flight
By: NemesisStrife
Disclaimer: These Final Fantasy 7 characters are property of Squaresoft. This is an Alternate Universe epic saga pre-game fanfiction. As stated before, this is a Cloud and Sephiroth pairing, involving shounen-ai, and it is my take on what should have happened in the game. Respect my opinions, please.
NOTES: People, since the server now has a new format, please check for my story under "Sort By Update (Chaptered)", please. And I will make it a point to add a new chapter, *hopefully* every week, Friday. It all depends on the number and type of reviews I get. So, I hope you know what to do...keep on reading, and Review please. If you want the next chapter up soon, well, Leave Feedback.
Warnings for this chapter
1) Sorry about not updating for about 2 weeks, but I was on holiday. Still, I managed to churn out this chapter, which I think is my favourite so far, as well as the longest. Thousand apologies. *bows*
2) If the sword technique seems rather unrealistic, I kind of mixed up whatever jumbled bits of fencing, "King Arthur", and even Final Fantasy duels I could remember. Well, I only had training in Air Rifle. *shrugs*
3) My beta reader K called "disturbingly good", and she can imagine mental images of Cloud and Sephiroth actually behaving like that. *evil grin* I'll take that as a compliment. For those who can't stand it, this is usually my preferred choice of writing style, writing paragraphs about every single little, insignificant detail.
4) Thanks to all my reviewers, especially Dina (who was promising pictures for WAFF fics, so this is my feeble attempt at that, but it turned out more, um... Well, it's unclassifiable), Knowing Shadows, Sky, and all those on the YahooGroups ML.
Enjoy!
" " Normal speech
' ' Thoughts
italics Emphasis
~ ~ Mental speech/ Telepathy
// // Flashback
Chapter 5
The Lessons Begin
The training centre was a massive, steel-and-concrete superstructure, a 24 hour facility open to all SOLDIERs' and trainees, but now, since it was the unofficial rest period just before lunch, the wide corridors and hallways were deserted. That was also partly due to the fact that tomorrow would be the end of the free-and-easy, relaxed orientation time, and the start of the intensive training and tests a candidate had to go through. Sephiroth entered Room 3-14B, and Cloud looked on in amazement at the polished, gleaming racks of weapons, as well as the practice equipment in neat piles next to the sides of the walls. The centre of the room had a large, rubbery mat on the floor, to cushion falls and prevent heavy injury.
"Guns should be the first on the schedule, after hand-to-hand," Sephiroth gazed at the equipment quickly, then shook his head, "but I never found them very useful in battle. To tell the truth, I couldn't be bothered to practice after the first two weeks, so I shouldn't be imparting half-forgotten techniques to you. Plus, its quite boring to simply practice posture and aim at blank targets, so I'll let your instructor go through that."
Cloud raised an eyebrow, "the Great Sephiroth admits to not being able to do something?"
The General knew that Cloud was only teasing, but it hit uncomfortably close to the mark. 'Does he still think of me like that? Distant, formal, unapproachable… not so much of a normal human, but a statue or figurehead?' The cynical part of him responded, 'what normal human? You're just kidding yourself. No, I've got to stop…' Firmly pushing away such doubts, he told Cloud, "the only weapon type I really know is the sword. And even then, I've only specialised in using the Masamune. "
'Masamune - the legendary sword. Sephiroth must keep it in his room at times like this.' The recruit remembered seeing the sword on the media channel in Nibelheim, an over 6-foot long, double-edged elegant weapon, with an unusual design running from the tip of the blade to the hilt of the sword. 'Elegant, beautiful and deadly… both of them. Sephiroth…' He couldn't help staring at the graceful, easy movements of the man before him, as he turned to select weapons, discarding them until he had found the proper sword.
"Here," Sephiroth handed it hilt-first to Cloud, who only shrugged, not knowing what was expected of him. Hesitantly, he picked it up, both hands gripping the practice sword tightly, but the balance felt off, and his posture was awkward. Sephiroth simply nodded, smiling, then reached out to close his hands around Cloud's. Cloud was startled at the warm touch, at the firm clasp of Sephiroth's hands on his, the skin-to-skin contact strangely firm and intimate. Without his gloves on, Sephiroth's hands were still larger than Cloud's, but with the same long, almost delicately-tapering fingers and elegant strength. He noticed a faded, but still quite dark, black "1" on the back of Sephiroth's hand, and slowly released part of his grip on the sword, to free one arm, and traced the previously-hidden tattoo with light fingertips.
"Where did you get that?" Cloud asked curiously, and was replied by an evasive "oh, I had it since young, I think." Sephiroth forced himself to ignore and disregard, or at least try to, the mesmerizing brush of Cloud's fingers tracing a smooth pattern on his skin, and gently corrected Cloud's hold on the sword. Frowning and biting his lip in concentration, with a serious look on his face, Cloud adjusted to the blade, with Sephiroth's guidance and support. Smiling in satisfaction, pleasure lit up the sparkling blue eyes, as he found the balance, the sword now light and seemed like a part of him.
'It feels good… feels right somehow,' Cloud thought, and silenced the nagging inner voice that asked him what exactly felt good, achieving the correct "feel" of wielding the practice blade, or having Sephiroth's bare hands holding his, and touching the silky, soft skin, with only a few calluses as a result of long practice with the Masamune. Sephiroth just wanted to stay like that, next to Cloud, hands around the smaller boy's slender wrists, so achingly near, yet so far, able to feel Cloud's body heat, a warm presence against his elbow. He mentally sighed, allowing himself the indulgence of a last, lingering feather-light brush, an almost-caress of the warm, fair skin that felt like silk, before reluctantly relinquishing his clasp on the recruit's hands, taking the necessary few steps back to remove himself from the closeness, in order not to maintain his distance, attempting to preserve at least the semblance of propriety. 'So hard not to … … Self-control, Sephiroth… you can control it.'
"Ok, Cloud. Now, in the basic first offensive stance, the classic position is with your blade held 45 degrees away from your body, so it points to your opponent's neck, just under the chin," Sephiroth instructed. Shifting his feet further apart, with ease and care, Cloud instinctively hefted the sword, in a way that seemed almost natural.
'It feels like… I was born to do this.' He judged the centre of gravity of the sword, tilting it slightly to balance the weight distribution evenly on both sides. He put one foot in front of the other, bending his knees slightly, leaning forwards, gaze focused, staring fixedly at a point about three-quarters up on the edge of the blunt practice sword, and at the position where his opponent would have been. Cloud's whole posture was casual and at ease, shoulders relaxed, elbows not quite straight and held away from his torso, enabling him to achieve a longer reach with the blade. His hands firmly gripped the hilt, fingers maintaining a light, yet solid hold, with wrists locked in place to support and steady the weapon, but yet flexible and ready to slash or block a potential blow. Sephiroth began to try and instruct Cloud about the next battle position, but paused at the look on Cloud's face.
Blue eyes had darkened to an almost-black in concentration, focusing, looking up through dark, gold-brown lashes. He didn't notice he was just simply staring, until Cloud looked up at him and Sephiroth was caught in that steady gaze.
Cloud had been attempting to maintain his position, but had felt the complete and utter lack of movement and sound from Sephiroth's direction quite unnerving, and could practically sense the heat in the other man's stare. The very air surrounding him pulsed and hummed with the latent, hidden, almost-tangible power in Sephiroth's aura, and Cloud's skin prickled in response. He raised his head quickly, only to find himself meeting the force of the strong gaze from those glowing, aquamarine Mako-eyes.
Sephiroth had studied about black holes before, the stars that went supernova and exploded, then collapsed back into a dense, solid mass. 'I always wondered how the inter-gravitational field could be so strong that it acted like a vacuum, absorbing everything, even light. Well, now I know.' Sephiroth managed one last coherent thought, then his mind temporarily went blank as he looked into Cloud's eyes, now turned dark blue in contemplation, that were regarding him seriously. Like the gravity well of a star gone nova, they were pulling him in, spiralling into fathomless, secretive blue. It was altogether an unusual and disconcerting experience to find that someone could make him lose control over his carefully guarded emotions, and even make him want to give up control, but those, as well as all other, considerations became secondary and unimportant, as Sephiroth felt himself magnetised and drawn in again into the otherworldly, timeless indigo pupils.
Cloud trembled inwardly, feeling helpless and trapped, pinned by the sheer intensity of Sephiroth's stare. There was something oddly hypnotic about the ever-changing, shifting, swirling Mako glow, the bright gaze both compelling and forceful at the same time. Cloud found himself not able to meet the gaze, yet also paradoxically unwilling and unable to look away, he couldn't, just couldn't possibly move, so held the stare. The cyan orbs seemed to probe right into the innermost darkness and depths of his soul, illuminating everything, piercing past the most solid and heavily fortified defenses or shields, stripping them away easily. Their eyes were locked together, both unwilling to pull away, to break the tenuous, yet solid connection, spellbound and lost in the magic of the moment, which only lasted for a brief span of seconds, but stretched to become a blissful eternity.
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'All good things had to end,' Sephiroth blinked, eyes shut for the briefest, barest instant, just for a second, and the intangible, real, essential human connection was broken. Cloud tore his gaze away once he was able to, the spell, that had been stronger than any cast using materia, was broken, and he looked quickly away, not catching the disappointment that flecked those green eyes. 'And that was the most amazing, the best thing that I've ever experienced.' Sephiroth exhaled slowly, releasing the breath he had been holding, as he had not wanted to disturb the peace even with shallow breathing. The ever-present, persistent inner voice taunted him with the reminder that he didn't deserve, wasn't made to have moments like that, so it had to stop. 'Even if it was just a dream, that ends upon waking up and seeing reality, the dreamer can still remember, treasure it and hope.'
Cloud's cheeks burned with embarrassment, yet feeling a strange sense of relief that it had ended, although the other half of him was wishing for it to continue. 'I don't want… No, I do want this… it's so confusing… Don't reach out, don't touch, isolation is best… no one can hurt you, if you don't open, don't feel.'
"Cloud, anyway, there is another sword style, the alternate type I use," Sephiroth stated, brining it back to safer subjects, trying to find his footing on uncertain ground. 'Move on, go on… leave it behind.' "The type that I wield the Masamune with," he continued hastily, awkwardly attempting to cover up the recent lapse in his concentration. He did a quick demonstration, hefting the practice blade up to eye level, holding it parallel to the ground with a two-handed grip. His elbows bent past 90 degrees, pulling the hilt near the side of his head, turning so he faced the side wall, looking in line with his shoulder. He passed the blade back, watching Cloud as the recruit aligned himself to face front, adjusting to the new position with sureness and surprising ease. 'Not really that surprising considering he is very good, exceptional, even. So much potential, raw and untrained, but all there. If it's channelled properly… he could make First-Class with no problem whatsoever.' Cloud had already gone on to practice some simple, basic steps, switching between the two grips he had been taught, getting a feel of the blade.
"So, Sephiroth, can I stop soon? My hands are starting to ache," asked Cloud, interrupting the older man's train of thought. He looked slightly sheepish as he replaced the sword back in its original position, flexing his wrists to dissipate the tiredness.
"That's fine, you won't be able to keep up practising for long periods of time in the beginning, so just get accustomed to the weapon for now. I don't think I'll have time to teach beyond merely holding the blade and the starting position, anyway. Just take note, your trials will be in the next week or so, and you should go down to the bulletin board, to check the scheduling first thing tomorrow. Listen, Cloud, I'll be on a mission to inspect the area around Kalm, and the trip will probably last a few days. Apparently, there has been some disturbance near the town," Sephiroth hesitated, then promised, "but I'll try to… No, I will be back in time for your last stage of the tests."
Cloud was surprised, and touched by the gesture of kind support, honoured that Sephiroth cared enough, for whatever reason, to take an interest in his future. Eyes wide, he breathlessly responded, "really, Seph?" Cloud froze instantly, hand moving up to cover his mouth in a reflex action, and abortive attempt to stop, but too late, it couldn't be unsaid. Shocked by what he had let slip, unbelieving that he had uttered that familiarity, so informal and not respectful, the nickname a mockery of the General's status. 'How could I be so stupid as to forget that? No matter how he acts casual, he is still of much higher rank! Not only that… remember… don't reveal anything. Feelings can be twisted and used against you… why did I have to drop my guard, and say something so utterly foolish like that?' Cloud had been thinking of Sephiroth the past few days, and somehow, his feelings of hero-worship and awe had evolved into friendship, as well as something else, something more, which had just been expressed carelessly in that one word. 'Now he's going to push me away… shouldn't trust anyone… but I trust him.'
Sephiroth had been startled, puzzled, but strangely, happily so. 'No one, not even Zack, has ever dared to come so close. No one else has wanted to… but Cloud did. And that tone… was it… even if only the smallest trace… perhaps affection? Is that too much to ask for?' He paused to savour the moment in silence, the sincerity and emotions contained in that unguarded, casual, friendly manner of address. 'But am I overreacting? Reading too much into it, maybe… Am I seeing something that isn't there… but, by the Planet, it means so much… it matters… just because… …it's Cloud.'
Cloud was totally miserable, shame and humiliation warring within him, as he tried to amend the situation that had gone awry… again. He was mentally berating himself, and scared at the possible consequences, feeling a cherished dream slipping from his grasp and shattering on unyielding, stony, jagged rocks. "Um, Sephiroth, sir, I didn't… " Cloud began, his normal facility with words and fluent, fluid eloquence both lost.
'He didn't mean it,' Sephiroth thought, 'what else did I expect? You'd think I've gotten used to it by now, used to people's reactions.' The fact that it was Cloud, someone he thought of as a friend… 'No, I had hoped he would be more than a friend, but there's no hope now… Rejection. He must have finally seen the truth, and is now naturally wanting nothing more to do with me.' He retreated back within his protective barrier, back into the cold, lonely, isolated walls of silence, maintaining his customary aloofness and emotionless façade, according to his reputation as ShinRa's top General.
Cloud could feel Sephiroth pulling away, atmosphere of the room gone from teasing and friendly, to cold. He closed his eyes briefly, head bowed slightly, old wounds reopened, fears of failure, alienation… Bleak thoughts flickered through the darkness in his mind, and it was reflected on his face. 'He's turning away… so distant, so silent… so cold. I was afraid of this… and it's all my fault… I can't take it back, now.' "I'm sorry, I just wanted…" Cloud practically choked out, tone anguished and filled with sorrow. 'So sorry, Sephiroth… Even if you do continue to ignore me, I've got to try…'
Sephiroth saw and felt the emotions radiating off Cloud in waves, his mind flinching in empathy at the feelings projected, feelings of… hurt? Hope resurged traitorously, and it threatened to overwhelm and betray him. Instinctively reacting, to try to soothe, compensate somehow for the damage he had caused unknowingly and unthinkingly, he responded, at the same time reaching out for Cloud's hand, "The apology was unnecessary, Cloud. I don't mind… I… like it." Cloud's head snapped up at the gentle, comforting words of reassurance, hesitantly facing Sephiroth. He must have read something in Sephiroth's eyes, a feeling communicated through look alone.
Sephiroth was dazzled, the image etched permanently into his memory, as Cloud's entire expression changed, in a manner that was absolutely breathtaking. All else paled in comparison, as Sephiroth looked into Cloud's eyes, which had either reflected or absorbed all the light, as the blue eyes lit up from within, the source of their brilliance from some inner, private glow that outshone Mako. They turned pale blue, almost turquoise, containing a rare, open, trusting look, pure joy and relief shining in the azure depths. "Thanks for everything, Seph," came the soft whisper, each word a priceless treasure, said almost reverently, accompanied by the heartfelt joy on his face, in that vulnerable, yet safe moment.
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Read and Review, please. This is my first fic, so be kind! Comments and criticism welcomed.