Disclaimer: Ashley, Zhane, Andros and anyone else doesn't belong to me. "Torn" is Natalie Imbruglia's.
Author's Note: This is a companion to "Between Love and Insanity" by James Austin Valiant. Great story. I still can't believe I'm the only one to review it…
Author's Note 2: This is a sort of prequel to "Between Love and Insanity". It takes place right after the fight that happened between Ashley and Andros in his flashback, the first one of the story, I believe. You don't have to read the story to understand this, but I would. A/A fans, get the tissues ready.
HOW COULD HE! Ashley walked through the halls of the Megaship furiously, tears blurring her vision. Zhane, and Andros! I loved him… I love him. The realization startled her and she sank to the ground sobbing, her eyes stinging with tears of hurt and hate.
"I thought I saw a man brought to life.
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry.
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for.
But I don't know him anymore."
Throwing clothes, pictures, books, CD's and anything else she had into a suitcase, Ashley stopped at her favorite picture, no, make that, former favorite picture. Pressing her lips tightly, in a desperate attempt to stop the rain that threatened to fall from her puffy, red eyes. Why? The thought came unbidden to her mind and her arms wrapped themselves around herself as choking, hiccupping, sobs overcame her.
"There's nothing where he used to lie;
My conversation has run dry.
That's what's going on, nothing's fine. I'm torn."
It was too late. Too late to make amends, the damage had been done. I gave him everything, everything, and now this. I just, I can't, I… I don't know what to do! Her sobs subsiding, Ashley stared dolefully at her room, her eyes roaming the place.
"Ashley?" the soft question startling her, Ashley looked up at her second mom, the real commandeer of the Megaship, DECA.
"Hey DECA."
"Are you alright?"
Smiling slightly at the concern showing from the AI, partial mostly to Andros, comforting her. "I'll be fine. I just need time to think, this whole event… I just need thinking time. And action."
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel.
I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor.
Illusion never changed into something real.
I'm wide-awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
You're a little late, I'm already torn."
When did it go wrong? The thoughts evaded answers and saddened Ashley as she prepared to leave her home. I can't stay here, it would be too awkward. Having this on our shoulders, it'll be easier on all of us if I just leave.
"So I guess the fortune teller's right,
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light.
To crawl beneath my veins and now.
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn"
"Is this it?" she whispered, needing the sound echoing in the ominously silent Megaship. She was leaving, after this, no turning back. Am I ready? "Yes." She told herself firmly, but softly. "He lied to me, cheated on me, left me. I have nothing here." She said, the memories of her times and life on the ship pushed to the back of her mind, the image of Andros and Zhane in bed together set firmly in her mind. But despite her firmness, her shoulders slumped in thought and she bit her lip, rethinking.
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel,
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor.
Illusion never changed into something real.
I'm wide-awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn."
"Ashley!" the breathless cry stopped the girl heading for the jump tubes.
"Cassie." The teary whisper escaped her lips and they turned to each other, running into a hug.
"I'm sorry." They said simultaneously, giggling slightly.
"I wish that didn't happen, or you didn't see it. Could you talk with them? Maybe clear things up?" Cassie asked hopefully.
Shaking her head sadly, Ashley gave her the heartbreaking news. "I'm leaving. I'm sorry but I have to go. I can't stay here."
A tragic expression fell over Cassie's face, but she sighed and nodded slightly before stepping back… and revealing the rest of the rangers, minus Andros. Her face hardening, Ashley walked over to Zhane. Lifting her chin defiantly, Ashley slapped him. Not hard enough to cause damage, but enough to sting.
"I hate you," she declared coldly and turned away to face the rest of the group, standing far enough away to differ from the silver ranger. Her face softening enough to look compassionate, Ashley said to the rest of them, "You know where to find me."
With those last words, she walked back to her bags by the jump tubes. Gently running a finger down the bright yellow one, she turned to DECA's camera abruptly.
"Thank you." Ashley whispered, facing the small black camera. "One to teleport, you know the coordinates."
Blinking her light, DECA slowly began the teleportation process. Even as golden sparkles filled her gaze, distant thuds that gradually got louder registered with her. Distantly hearing a gasp and an, "Ashley!" spoken by a voice she knew so well, tears bubbled up inside of her. 'I love you.' She mouthed for him, probably the last time she would. The light fading, she found herself near her home. Taking a shuddery breath, she slowly began the journey home.
Her step bouncier, she felt strangely lighter, but empty, like a blackboard polished and rubbed squeaky clean. A part of her was missing, but she was ready to find it.
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel.
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor.
Illusion never changed into something real.
I'm wide-awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel.
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor.
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn."
Author's Note 3: Remember, this is a companion to the story mentioned above twice. To find out the outcome, read the story. Again, I would anyways. If I get enough requests, I might even fill in more of what happened in the five years between this and the beginning of "Between Love and Insanity".