Disclaimer: Hee, Disclaimer is the name of a Seether album 3

Chapter Summary: Seifer and Nida reach Garden. (Finally.) OOC and vague descriptions out of the wazoo.

A/N: The language in this is getting steadily worse as the story progresses. :x I apologise so much for this. I dunno if swearing's worthy of an R rating, because it is in the movies, so I'm at odds here.

Err. On a completely unrelated topic, has anyone seen Boondock Saints?

OH OH OH AND

I'm going to try and figure out how to change what category the story's under. I think it's turning into humor/angst, and this makes me want to commit proverbial hari-kari.

commencechapterfive

"But that's not answering my question. Why does he want to kill you"

"Because he hates me."

"And why does he hate you"

"Because I hate him."

"Well why do you hate him"

"Because he wants to kill me. Stop asking me fuckassed questions, Almasy."

Seifer sighed and haphazardly kicked a small rock in Nida's direction. Nida, having less than zero faith in Seifer's aiming skills, ignored it, keeping his eyes set on the looming figure in the distance. They were taking the footpath to Balamb Garden after having narrowly escaped from the evil store of impending Doom (Seifer's analogy), and Nida was decidedly annoyed that Seifer was too cheap to rent a car. Seifer, on the other hand, had argued that the walk wasn't long enough for it to be economical to take a car, that they'd have to go back later to return it which would cause another walk back to Garden, and most of the rental cars had lousy brake systems anyway. Nida, having automatically lost the argument, kept quiet until Seifer started questioning him about why the creepy store manager wanted to kill them.

Dropping all pretense, Nida interrupted Seifer's thoughts by clinging to the arm of his trenchcoat and whining annoyingly"Are we there yet"

"Why am I not surprised..." Seifer yawned and flailed his arm wildly, attempting to shake Nida off. It was an entirely unsucsessful endeavor; he stuck like crazy glue.

"Are we there yet?" He was clinging even tighter, and Seifer feared for his circulation.

Seifer swung his head around to face Nida with a leer. "Does it look like we're there yet, freak"

"Sob. You scare me." Nida cowered and released Seifer, who scowled and rubbed his arm, trying to get the blood flowing normally again. Nida seemed entirely unconcerned about the other man's blood distribution problems and continued walking, facing Seifer with a mournful look and generally not watching where he was going.

As was to be expected, he slammed into Balamb's left electric gate thirty seconds later. It hurt. It hurt like your toungue would hurt after you accidentally stapled it to the wall. Thankfully for Nida, his pain-induced vocabulary was limited to one word.

"Ow."

Ignoring Nida, which seemed to be the cool thing to do nowadays, Seifer waved to a stereotypical middle-aged-and-balding man less than ten feet away, who appeared to be waiting for someone. Seeing the wave, the man hurried away from the electric gating field and over to Seifer.

"There you are, I've been waiting since yesterday! I see you still have no sense of time" he added, talking very quickly.

"You waited outside here in the rain, Headmaster" questioned Seifer, looking bemused. Nida, who had just recovered from the shock of slamming into a electrical field range, cast an annoyed look up at the other two. Headmaster Cid, who seemed to have just noticed Nida lying on the ground twitching, poked him with a boot.

"Better be careful, now! We haven't got that insurance anymore" said Cid jovially.

"What insurance" groaned Nida, rubbing the back of his head and getting up shakily. His feet didn't seem to want to agree on which way was front, and after a couple of failed attempts to stand upright he let himself fall back onto the smooth pavement.

The headmaster looked at Nida as if he was mad, not seeming to notice that he might have been suffering the after-effects of high-voltage electricity. "It's the one you need. Cause if you don't have it, that's why you need it."

Seifer looked like he was having a sudden brain wave, and he interrupted Cid. "So if you get hurt and miss work"

"It won't hurt, to miss work" continued Cid, looking excited.

"And they give you cash, which is just as good as money." The whole scene had an

eerie, surreal quality to Nida, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. "What"

"Aflac" said Seifer and Cid in emphatic unison, nodding in a solemn sort of way.

Nida looked helplessly up at Seifer. "Can we fade to black"

"Yes. Fuck yes, I do believe we can."

A/N: Let's just consider the next chapter one week ahead of this, okay The next one is BETTER, I promise! Yeah ... I have it written already, I'm just not giving it to you yet. If you want it, review and tell me whether or not you've watched Boondock Saints. DO IT DARN YEW.