King of Sorrow
Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, or Sade's, King of Sorrow.
He played that lonely tune on his saxophone, Julia. The song I was named after, the song my father played for my mother when she was pregnant with me, that sad slow tune that even now, brings tears to my eyes. The bartender looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and motioned for him to refill my drink. The man on the stage had just finished playing his slow, sad song. He looked toward the exit, and then he looked at me and walked slowly toward me.
"Not again," I thought as he came toward me. I didn't want to turn this one down; he had that sad lonely look that made me think of Spike. As he got closer I noticed that his hair was not black but a dark blue and his eyes were wet. It looked as though he had been crying. Spike used to look like that when he looked at me too. I sneezed loudly, and excused myself.
"Hello," he said as he began to take the seat next to me. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to tell him to go fuck off, that I had nothing left to give. But, instead, I let him take the seat next to me. It had taken most of my energy to get here and the rest had been used turning down people over and over again. Especially since being alone was the last thing I want to do. He flipped his long dark hair to his side so that none of it would get into my face. He turned to me and smiled. His smile broke through the icy numbness that I had been feeling for what felt like an eternity. "Take care," he said.
"What," I asked.
"That was close. When someone sneezes and doesn't get told to take care, that person becomes a fairy. That's what they say around here." Gren said. I smiled.
"Maybe I already am a fairy." I thought to myself.
"You were playing my song," I said as smoothly as I could manage. I tried my best to not sound fierce and mean.
"Oh," he simply said. I looked at him and my insides began to turn. Maybe if I went with him I would be able to feel something again, something more than the deadness that had taken over my senses. He looked me straight in my eyes. His eyes still had that wet look to them. He slipped his fingers through his hair. And for the first time I noticed that he reminded me of someone or something that wasn't Spike. I smiled, not a huge grin, but big enough to be noticeable. It was the most movement my face had gotten in the past months.
"And your wearing my name," He said. I smiled even larger. I felt so stupid for smiling, but it was as if I had no control, I was used to the feeling.
"My name's Julia," I said quietly. I looked down at my drink and noticed that it had been filled. I realized that I really needed to pay more attention to my surroundings.
"And my name is Grencia, but everyone calls me Gren for short." I looked over at him. I wanted him to tell me a story. A name like that had to have a story.
"So, Grencia, what do you want?" I asked. My voice went carefully monotone. I wanted to hear what he was going to say with nothing to go on about my personality.
"I want to give you something to eat, a warm place to sleep, and maybe listen to your story, if you're willing to tell it." I looked at him. I kept my face cautiously blank.
"By a warm place to sleep, do you mean with you?" I asked. I knew deep down in my heart that I hoped that he did mean with him, but I could never allow it.
"No," he said, "you're very pretty but you're not my type." I smiled. I liked this Grencia fellow. There was something about him that made me want to trust him. Like he would not hurt me like all the others had, no he would keep me safe from all the things that wanted me harmed or dead.
"Well then, I guess I shouldn't be rude and turn you down." I said before I gulped down the last of my drink and headed for the door. He grabbed his coat and slowly followed after me.
As we headed outside he walked in front of me and never looked back to see if I was following. It was if he were afraid that if he looked back he would lose me. But he had to know that there was no where else for me to go. The walk was long, and had many twists and turns. After awhile I stopped trying to memorize how to get to his place. I knew if I was going to have to make a break for it, I would escape. I have always been able to escape.
As I walked I made sure to keep my mind carefully away from Spike and Vicious. I did not want to cry in front of this pretty stranger. Before I could really realized it we had stopped. I looked up at the building laid out before me. He lived in an apartment. From the outside they looked like they were decent sized apartments.
"Where do you live?" I asked quietly. He pointed up to what looked like the 12th floor. As we slowly walked inside the building I looked around. The inside pretty much looked like the outside, torn and falling apart. If the walls of this building could talk, it would tell sad, sad tales.
We walked up several flights of stairs. Till we finally came to his apartment, he unlocked the door and walked inside. Slipping his coat off and putting it on what looked like a table, he walked farther into his apartment.
"I could run," I thought. "He'll never know where to find me. I could just turn around and go buy a ticket to another moon, hell another planet." I walked inside his apartment and shut the door behind me.
"So," I said as I walked over to what looked like a couch. I flopped down on it and he didn't say a word. I looked at him. His eyes looked as though they were glazed.
"I thought you were going to run," he said, before he sat down across from me.
"Why would you think that?" I asked. I knew very well why he would think I would run, but I wanted to hear him say it.
"No reason," he said simply as he got up from the couch. I was not going to get what I wanted from him.
"What do you want to eat, drink?" I looked up at him. I stretched out on his couch, and shook my head.
"Whatever," I said. He nodded his head as though he has something in mind. Why did I trust him to make my food? I had just met Gren. I know why. There was something about him that I just trusted not to want to hurt me. It was as if the thought of doing something harmful to me would never cross his mind. Not like Vicious who had to fight the constant battle of weather or not to hurt me. Most of the time he lost the battle, and I would end the night either screaming or crying.
Gren brought out the food. It was just instant noodles and what looked like hot water. I looked at the food. I was suddenly hit with a paralyzing fear. What if he did want to hurt me? What if he was out for the bounty that was on my head, and just wanted the money? What if he knew Vicious and wanted to return me to him? What if the sky fell? What if I would have gone with Spike? What if I had never cheated on Vicious? What if… I bent down and took the fork he had given me and I began to eat he food he had given me. I looked up from my food to find that he was eating his food too.
After I had devoured my food and drank as much water I could hold I was ready to talk. He was eating slowly. He never even looked up as I began to roam around his apartment. I saw something that caught my eye. It was a board filled with pictures, so many pictures. I looked at all them, scanning them with my eyes. Gren eating with children, Gren holding a puppy, Gren looking at a ruined building, but they weren't all just him. Some of them were of other people, some beautiful and some not. As I looked at the pictures I saw someone that reminded me of Spike. He was a skinny tall looking kid with wild hair and a smile that was so huge you know that whatever he was laughing at was the funniest thing in his world. I carefully looked at all the pictures and saw so many things that I wanted to ask about. Then I heard Gren come up behind me. Strangely enough he did not invade my personal space.
"See anything you like?" he asked. I shook my head and then stopped myself, I did see something liked.
"Where was this?" I asked him quietly. He looked at where my finger was pointing and his eyes got a much clouded look about them.
"This is when I was drafted into the Titan War." He replied softly. "This is X-mas day and my whole division was there. I looked right behind Gren's smiling face I saw something that made my heart almost stop. I saw silvery white hair and a profile that was almost undeniable.
"Who is that?" I said pointing my hand that the man behind Gren. I silently prayed that it was not who I thought it was.
"That's Victor," Gren all but whispered, "but everyone called him Vicious because of how he was on the battle field." My heart beat picked up speed rapidly. "He saved my life, once." Gren said this part so quietly that I almost didn't hear it.
"Are you still in contact with Vicious?" I asked. I was trying to keep my voice steady, trying to keep the panic from my face.
"No," Gren said slowly. "I haven't seen or talked to him in years." I wanted to trust Gren, to believe what he was saying but I've never trusted people. Nothing good every happened to me when I trusted someone. Gren looked down at me. "I'm going to go take a shower. I trust that you won't look." He said grinning coolly.
I smiled back, "of course not." I said. He turned around and walked away. I continued to look at all the pictures and things on his table. I didn't know what to look for, but if I knew Vicious I knew he gave Gren something to remember him by. I found it, a little music box that played Julia. I ran to the kitchen and looked in the drawers.
"Knife, screw driver, I need something!" I murmured to myself. I found a knife and pried open the bottom. My breath caught in my throat. Gren had to know about this. No one that smart could not know. I grabbed the gun from my boot. I walked silently to Gren's bathroom. I could hear the water going and knew that he wouldn't hear me, and that I would have him cornered. I opened up the door, slowly, carefully, and I slide back the shower curtain. What I saw my mouth drop open. In my surprise I most have lowered my gun, because the next thing I knew I was against the wall with my hands behind my back.
"What," I stopped talking again. "What are you?" I asked finally. I could hear the sorrow in Gren's voice when he finally spoke.
"I am nothing and everything at once." I frowned. I didn't understand, or at least I didn't want to. He led me to his room where he got handcuffs and cuffed me to the chair in the side of his room.
You want to hear a story?" He asked. I nodded. He wrapped a rode tightly around his body.
"I was in the same unit as Vicious on Titan. On Titan, we were all comrades." Gren eyes got that glassy look about them. "Titan," Gren said, "a constant sand storm, guns and canon fire, mines. I was lying back in a trench. I heard a music box; it was such a sad, but pretty song. I saw Vicious was the source of the music so I walked over to him." Gren got such a sad look on his features that I thought for a moment that he might cry.
"I asked him what the song that he was playing was. He answered in one word, Julia. I told him that is was a good tune and asked him if he would you mind if I played that tune on my sax when I go home after all this? Vicious didn't say anything. He just gave me the music box and got up to leave. Then he suddenly turned around and thrust a combat knife next to my head. At first I thought he had lost his mind. It happened to the guys a lot at Titian, but then I looked to the side where the knife was and I saw a scorpion spilt in two. I was going to thank him, but by the time I looked back at him, he was already gone." Gren stopped talking for a moment. He seemed to be have difficultly with what he was about to say next.
"After I came home from the war, I was imprisoned. They suspected that I was a spy. I heard that Vicious testified against me. In prison, I went insane from insomnia. As a result, I became a drug addict. There were side effects... My hormonal balance went out of whack, and this is what happened. You're the first person to know Vicious since I arrived here, and the first that I've talked about this to about this." He pointed to his chest.
"How do you know I know Vicious?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled the saddest smile I've ever seen.
"No one gets that terrified over someone they've never met." He said. I couldn't help but smile at that. I felt my heart tighten up when I realized what I had to tell him.
"Gren," I said slowly. He still had that distant glassy look to his eyes; I wanted to make sure he heard me. He looked over at me. "In the music box Vicious gave to you, the one that played Julia, there was a transmitter in the music box." Gren's head snapped to look me in the eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded my head. He shook his head, "then I guess it's true." I wanted to tell him no it wasn't, but I knew he needed to know the truth. I looked down at the floor. I felt so awful. Like I had done it, or it was my fault.
"If you uncuff me I'll be on my way." He looked at me, his eyes longing for something. "And if you ever see Vicious again run, because he'll kill you." He looked at me and I was sure I saw the beginnings of tears.
"You don't have to go." He said. He looked so sad and alone that it made it even harder for me to want to leave, but I knew I had to leave. He slowly uncuffed me and walked away. I headed for the door, and then I heard him playing a song. I walked over to him.
"What are you playing?" I asked. He looked over at me and smiled.
"King of Sorrow." Was all he said, before he turned back to the music. I recognized the song now. I thought about the lyrics and realized that he was the King of Sorrow. I walked out of his door, and closed it behind me. I walked out of his apartment building and never looked back. I left behind yet another ruined man. It seemed that I was being to develop a pattern.