Deep in my Heart

Chapter Three

A/N: This chapter takes place six months after the past events, and can get a bit graphic. RR!

(only when you sleep)

Can't believe it feels like

Fight fire, can't forget

(only when you sleep)

All's changing, now its real

Can't believe the way I feel

Jack walked down the streets, stunned by the beauty of the city that day. It was always beautiful, but there was just something about that moment, walking down the sidewalk, that made him appreciate where he was and how he was getting there. The clouds that had previously occupied the baby blue sky had disappeared, letting the sun shine down and color his face with golden rays.

His fever had been gone for a few months, but he didn't tell anyone his symptoms had stayed with him during that time. He no longer felt nauseous, but he had found that his energy was lacking and he felt sore and achy all over.

He walked up to the building and made his way to the elevator. He planned to show up at Grace Adler Designs that day and tell Karen he couldn't go shopping with her that afternoon. His stomach was acting up, and he planned to go to the doctor's office that day with Will.

"Oh Kaaaaaaren!" he called, walking in from the elevator and startling Grace, knocking her off of the chair she was sitting on. She fell loudly and groaned in pain from hitting the hard wood floor.

"Well hello, Bell of St. Mary", she exclaimed sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at Jack.

"Sorry G, but I got some news for my Kare-Bear", he said, smiling brightly at Karen and putting an arm around her.

Karen jumped up excitedly "Oh, poodle! What is it? Did you finally get with that slightly married questioning man down at the club?"

"Yep, but that's not what I wanted to tell you."

"Oh, well then honey, what is it?"

Jack made a pathetic face and held his stomach in his hands. "I have to go to the doctors office. My tummy feels a little funny. So I can't go to Barney's with you, Kare."

"Oh, no Poodle, you have to go! I'm this close to getting them to hire Rosie as a manakin in the Men's department!"

Jack's face lost its teasing look and he regarded her seriously. "I really am sorry, Karen, but my stomach really does hurt. Will thinks that I may be getting the flu again".

"Again?" Grace exclaimed from across the room. "Are you really that sick? You just got over it, didn't you?"

Jack contemplated for a minute. " A while ago, but yeah. That's why Will wants me to go to the doctor. He's picking me up in about-"

"Ok Jack, I'm here. Let's go," Will barged in, opening the door so abruptly that Grace once again lost her balance on the chair. "Oh, hey Grace," he called to her on the floors.

"Why does this always happen to me?" she asked, to no one in particular.

"Because God wants to get you back for that outfit, sweetie. It's called karma," Karen answered, finishing off a martini.

Jack and Will looked at each other and laughed, then walked out to the direction of the doctor's.

Outside, Jack realized the weather had changed quite considerably over the past few minutes. The sky seemed painted gray, and there was no longer any trace of sunshine. The wind howled around them, and Jack couldn't help but shudder.

Awkwardly, Jack slipped his hand into Will's and rested his head on his shoulder as they walked down to the medical center.

"Jack? Are you ok?" Will asked, surprised at how his mood had changed so quickly. Jack looked to the still graying sky and nodded into Will's jacket.

"I think so."

"Come on, Jackie, this won't hurt"

"Don't call me Jackie, please. And yes, it will hurt!" Jack yelled, covering his arm with his black ribbed sweater to avoid the needle coming his way.

Will sighed. They had been there an hour, and it did seem like Jack had the flu again. The only thing they needed to do to get out of there was to get his blood and go. But Jack was reluctant to let anything near his arm.

"I don't understand Jack. I mean, you were a student nurse for three months of your life. You know how important it is to get your blood to make sure there's nothing wrong with you," the doctor tried to reason, putting the needle down and crossing his arms.

Jack shook his head again. No. It'll hurt too much."

Will rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Come on Jack. If it's so scary for you, I'll do it too, ok? If I do it with you, then will you please do it so we can get out of here?"

Jack contemplated the offer for a moment and then finally nodded. "Ok. But it has to be with a real needle this time. I'm not falling for that plastic syringe again."

Smiling and hopping onto the counter next to Jack, Will said, "Now maybe we can leave here by tomorrow. You want me to go first?" Jack nodded and Will pushed up a shirt sleeve.

It wasn't until the nurse came in with the needle that Will began to regret his agreement. 'Who am I kidding? I hate needles too!'

The nurse wrapped a rubber band around his arm, and withiout warning, sharply jabbed him with the sharp point of the syringe. Will gave a sharp yelp, trying his best to tone it down for Jack's sake. He watched with interest as the blood filled the tube, watched how slowly it dripped, dripped, dripped. It was mesmerizing.

"Ok, Jack, your turn," the nurse announced, smiling at him and reaching for his arm. Jack offered it confidently, reassured by Will's lack of a response. The nurse grabbed a new needle and repeated the procedure with Jack.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Jack smiled and shook his head, and walked cheerfully out of the room, arm in arm with Will.

"Will? Thanks for doing that with me. I could tell when the nurse came in that you were afraid."

Will looked at him, startled. "What do you mean afraid? You were scared, I was fine. I've done that stuff loads of times. I was only pretending to be scared so you wouldn't feel bad."

Jack smiled knowingly and nodded. "Whatever you say, Will."

That night, Jack woke up with a start.

He sprung up from his bed and ran into the bathroom, nausea overtaking his system. He hadn't eaten much at Will's that night, but he felt all that he had explode from him and land violently on the floor. He felt the loose food particles scrape against his throat on the way up, forcing him to produce more.

"Need...to get... to a toilet..." he muttered to himself. He heaved again, and with it, he felt a massive pain erupt in his forehead. Jack groaned as his hands flew up to press against his eyes, and he whispered silently at it to stop.

"W-will!" He tried to yell, but the only thing that he could do was vomit violently onto the floor, entirely missing the toilet again. He put a hand to his cheek, and found it covered in a thick sweat. Once the nausea had somewhat ceased, Jack gathered a washcloth in his hands and mopped his face.

Taking it away, he found it was soaked. "Ugh," he muttered disgustedly. He held onto the sink in order to keep from falling over. His head was spinning, and he couldn't focus on one thing without wanting to throw up again. Jack sat on the floor, and rested his head on the wall next to the sink.

Jack started breathing heavily, and he sighed loudly as he got a towel from the rack above him and started mopping up the mess he made. "This is so disgusting," he grumbled, putting a hand to his head and running it through his hair.

He felt his stomach jump again, but this time it was for a different reason. He whimpered pathetically as he groaned in realization.

"Will. I need Will here."

He continued talking; his words resounded off of the walls of tile around him. "I can't take care of myself like this. I never could. I need him here, taking care of me. Because...he makes me feel better. I don't feel as sick around him. Not like when I'm with Karen or Grace. They're my best friends, but they don't treat me like Will does. It's so different. I don't know if this means I'm in love with him or not. I don't think it does. It just means that whenever he's here with me, I feel so good."

Tilting his head to the side and raising his eyebrows curiously, he went on. "Isn't that what love is, though? When you never want to leave their side or anything? He is my best friend. He always has been there for me, even when I drive him crazy. He drives me crazy too. When he acts like I'm stupid or thinks I don't understand. I do understand, dammit. Just because I'm not a lawyer and didn't go to a collage like Columbia doesn't mean I can't think."

Thinking about what he just said, he laughed. Will really did make him crazy. Jack snapped his head up and whipped his head from side to side, looking to see if there was anyone around.

"Why am I talking to myself?"