Chapter four: Over and over again

Ok so just to state, I don't own any of these characters. I do own Alex, and Mr. Lyons is my math teacher. So please do not take them. Also I hope you like my story.

Ruthie lay in her bed thinking all night, she tried to rest but screams rang in her head. She could see it all so clearly, it was as if she was back at the party that very moment.

"Stop it!" She screamed. "Help" No one heard her; her screams were drowned with utter silence. "NO!" Ruthie bolted up. She was drenched in sweat she started crying. Why had this happened, she thought. She looked at the clock through misty eyes 3 am. This night was never going to end, how would I ever get to sleep she thought.

The next morning Ruthie was up when her alarm when off, one hour of sleep she thought. She was exhausted but not from lack of sleep she was exhausted from crying. Ruthie wasn't going downstairs she couldn't face her parents, she was afraid to tell them and afraid she would. So she stayed in her room all day pretending to she was doing homework.

"Ruthie are you awake?" her mom asked at around 10am.

"Yes mom…"Ruthie said.

"Are you coming down?" She asked.

"No… I'm doing homework," Ruthie said.

"Oh ok" Annie left puzzled.

Ruthie was like that all day someone would come up and she would say "not hungry" or "Still doing homework". So eventually people just gave up and left her to be in her room. Ruthie did have a lot of homework but every time she started she would get lost in her thoughts or would be so stuck that she throw the book or paper across the room. Finally she just fell asleep. When Ruthie woke up, she felt like someone was watching her she turned and saw him. She screamed but nothing came out she couldn't make a sound no matter how hard she tried. Ruthie tried to get up but couldn't budge; he walked towards her slowly just as he got to her bed she bolted up screaming. She bolted up right out of the horrid nightmare, screaming and crying she shook so hard. She was so terrified of this nightmare but it kept replaying every time she fell asleep.

"Ruthie, get up" Annie yelled. "It's Sunday"

"I'm up" Ruthie yelled surly. She got dressed and went downstairs, she was dreading this day she didn't want to go to church she was angry with god. How could he do this to her she didn't feel very Christianly.

"Morning Ruthie" Sam and David said.

"Morning" Ruthie said sullenly.

"We haven't seen you in a while" Annie said jokingly.

"Ha, Ha" Ruthie said sarcastically.

"Ruthie" Annie said looking at her.

"What?" Ruthie snapped. "I didn't think it was very funny!"

"I don't like your attitude" Annie said.

"Well I don't like yours, so just leave the fu—"Ruthie yelled.

"Ruthie!" Annie cut her off.

"Fine! I'll be waiting to go in the living room!" Ruthie said. She stormed off into the living room. Lucy and Kevin were heading out the door. "Wait Ruthie said you guys leaving?"

"Yeah" Lucy said. "You, mom and the boys are going real soon"

"Can I come with you?" Ruthie asked desperately.

"Uh… Sure" Lucy said. "Just tell mom your going with us"

"Mom I'm going with Lucy and Kevin" Ruthie yelled. "Lets go" Ruthie left leaving them confused, but they followed after hearing a frustrated 'fine' from Annie.

At church everyone filed in to the seats, Ruthie sat as far away from her mother as she could. Throughout the entire sermon Ruthie looked like her mind was in a thousand others places then this, but she listened carefully hoping for some sort of sign from god. Some sort of sign as to what to do.

Her father talked about forgiveness. "Everyone makes mistakes and that it is human nature to have faults for if we were all perfect life would be boring." He said. None of which in Ruthie's mind was of any help to her.

Then he talked about. "This comes as a sacrifice sometimes because our human faults are sometimes hurtful but pain is just another step in life and that all wound heal" Ruthie could barely sit and listen to this, how did he know. If this was the message from god then she wasn't interested.

"So, I leave you with these thoughts. Since forgiveness is so tough, go home and practice on the simple things a fight over a little thing, overstepped boundary or disagreement. Let go of it and just try to forgive them or to say you're sorry." Eric said. Ending his sermon Ruthie was so happy she was out of there, Ruthie knew pain was apart of life but that didn't mean it had to happen to her.

Back at home Ruthie, headed up to her room. She wanted to go back in to her room and hide there for the rest of her life. Hide there where knowonewould ever bother her, where she could forget and feel no pain.

"Ruthie" Annie said. "I'm sorry, if I was harsh this morning. It doesn't make what you were going to say right though, or how you talked to me"

"Yeah, sure whatever." Ruthie said rolling her eyes. "I'm so sorry" she said sarcastically.

"Ruthie I don't get it I am trying to make up with you and you are be very rude," Annie said raising her voice.

"I don't care" Ruthie said with hostility. "So leave me the fuck alone"

"Ruthie!" Annie said she was shocked with her daughters change in language.

"Just leave me alone!" Ruthie yelled her voice beginning to shake. Tears started to fall from her eye. Ruthie hurried upstairs and locked herself in her room.

"Ruthie…" Annie ran up after her. "Ruthie what's wrong?" Ruthie wouldn't answer. "Ruthie?" finally she gave up and left her daughter alone.

Later that evening, when Eric and Annie were alone she told him about Ruthie. "Eric something is up with Ruthie." Annie said.

"What?" he asked.

"I don't know but she was extremely rude to me and she cursed at me" Annie said shocked.

"Oh" Eric said. "Is something bothering her?"

"I don't know" she sighed. "But she started crying"

"Why?" Eric asked.

"I don't know" she said.