Deep in my Heart

Chapter Four

A/N: Short chapter, I apologize. The next one will be a lot longer. Thank you to all who reviewed! There won't be too many chapters left. Only two more after this, I think! Enjoy!

Will typed on his laptop, adding more to his computer journal. He wrote in it everyday, but this time, there was a purpose for what he was writing. His fingers flew across the keyboard, and his head ached as the noise of the keys clacking grew continuously louder.

"February third, 2005,

Today was the day that Jack McFarland disappeared.

I don't know what the hell is going on with him. I try to get his attention and hold a conversation with him, but he seems to be off in another place. I don't know if he's ignoring me, or what. I mean, I haven't done anything to make him mad. I even went through that needle thing for him.

It doesn't have to do with just me, either. He won't even be in the same room as Karen. Whenever she tries to take him places, he always refuses to go. Just last week, she bought him a boat, and he didn't even hear her! He just kind of nodded and mumbled a thank you.

He's an entirely different person. Can the flu really change a person that much? Maybe he's in pain; I don't know. But since we came back from the doctor's office, he just hasn't been the same. I know he's not upset about the hospital; he's had to go there and see people worse than he was for work. He's not the Jack I've known for half my life anymore. He's so different.

He looks different too. You can tell how sick he is. He can't walk for a long distance like he could before he got sick. His body tenses up and feels sore all over. And he doesn't eat as much. I mean, my refrigerator is still fully stocked fromthree days ago! He's lost a lot of weight. Whenever I try to give him a hug, I can feel his ribs through his shirt. When I asked him about it, he said it must have to do with the flu he had.

I'm thinking of maybe taking to the doctor again, but I really don't think it'll help much. I mean, he's getting his test results back sometime today or tomorrow, so there's probably nothing more they can do.

I don't think I can stand this anymore. Jack hasn't left his apartment for a week now. He won't come over here; I always go over there. I thought that maybe if he got some fresh air, he might feel better, but he rejects anything I bring up. He wouldn't even go shopping with me, and I offered to buy him a whole new wardrobe. I'm getting a bit scared. He isn't being himself at all.

I just hope he gets better, and I get my Jackie back.

Will

As Will's laptop was closing, he heard the door carefully open and shut. He lifted his head to find Jack standing in the doorway, looking tired. His face was flushed with the fever, and his eyes lost their usual sparkle. They were now a dim steel blue, which brought the red in his cheeks even more. Though it was four o'clock in the afternoon, he was still dressed in his pajamas, and in his arms, he held a teddy bear that Will had never seen before.

"Hey Jackie," Will said, smiling and patting a spot on the couch next to him for Jack to sit on. He only called him Jackie when he was sick or hurting, and the comfort of it cause a little smile to make its way onto Jack's face. Still, though he looked terrible, Will was proud of him for finally getting out of bed. "You feeling any better?"

Jack's eyes welled up in pain and he shook his head, refusing to talk. His throat felt as if it was being engulfed in flames, and it hurt every time he would even breathe; he couldn't stand it.

A tear fell from Jack's reddened eyes, and Will couldn't help but feel frightened. Jack seemed to be in extreme pain. The fact that he couldn't even speak to him made Will's heart jump. He sighed and wrapped Jack in his arms, and felt an intense wave of heat coming from his stricken body.

Jack's hair was gleaming with sweat, yet Will allowed him to rest his head on his shoulder. Jack lifted his feet from the floor and lay down on the couch, using Will as a pillow. The older man leaned backward, permitting Jack to rest on his chest.

"It's going to be ok, Jackie. You're going to get better. I know having the flu sucks. But the best thing about getting sick, is that you'll always get better again," he said, rubbing his fevered head comfortingly.

Jack swallowed painfully and spoke. He no longer felt as bad as when he first came in. "I don't think it's the flu," he rasped, squeezing Will's cool body and reveling in the release of heat. "It might be worse then that, don't you think?"

"The flu can be really bad. What else could it be?"

"I don't know," Jack responded, sighing prosperously. He didn't care anymore either. As long as he was with Will, nothing else seemed to matter.

Will kissed Jack on the forehead and closed his eyes. The feeling of his best friend resting on top of him quelled any feelings of fear and insecurity he previously harbored. Jack was no longer wheezing or squirming in pain; It took Will a while to realize that it was because he had fallen asleep.

A smile embellished itself onto Will's face as he stroked Jack's cheek with his fingers. Even though his face was still warm, it wasn't nearly as bad as it was earlier. As comfortable as Will was then, he couldn't help but tense up, thinking about the events of the past week. Jack still wasn't acting like himself. He remembered when he first recognized that he was different.

(Flashback)

"Come on, Jack. You need to get out sometime," Will called out, standing in the doorway to his younger friends bedroom. He smirked and leaned against the wall suggestively. "Do you want another bath?" he joked.

He half-expected Jack to throw a pillow at him, or laugh and roll his eyes. A smart comment might be made, or possibly, Jack would agree and head for the bathroom.

But Jack just shook his head and continued to stare vacantly up at the ceiling. He hugged his pillow sullenly and dug his head into the blankets around him. He looked up at Will with wide eyes and spoke softly, "Will, am I going to be sick forever?"

With his hair disheveled and his eyes wide and bright; he looked so much younger and much more fragile. Will felt as if he was talking to an eight-year old child instead of his friend. "No, of course not Jack. You know that. You'll get better. It'll just take some time."

"I don't want to wait."

"I know you don't," Will replied softly, climbing into the bed with Jack and sitting on his knees. "Believe me, I don't want you to be sick either. But there really isn't anything we can do about it."

He changed the subject quickly. "Come on now, let's go out to dinner or something. Fresh air will do you some good. It will feel a lot better than sitting in this stuffy apartment all night. We could even go to Boy Barn for a while if you want."

Jack's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head furiously. "No!" he exclaimed, surprising Will. "I don't want to leave my bed!"

"Ok..." Will said uncertainly, moving slightly away from Jack. There was something hidden in Jack's eyes that he had never seen before. Then, just as quickly as he had gotten angry, his face softened. "Will? Will you lie down next to me for a while?" he pleaded, grabbing Will's hand and guiding him closer.

Though he was still shocked about the tantrum that he had thrown earlier, Will laid next to Jack, enveloping him in his arms consolingly and kissing his neck. The previous day, Jack was as bright and cheery as ever. He joked around and drove Will crazy as usual. Yesterday, he was Jack. Will didn't know who he was now...

End flashback

Sighing, Will shook the thought out of his head and held Jack tighter. An unfamiliar feeling coursed through his entire body as Jack slept soundly next to him.

He hoped with all his heart that Jack would get better. Him being sick was driving Will crazier than when his friend was well. At least when he wasn't sick, he had someone to be there for him. Grace was always there, but it was different with Jack. With Jack, Will felt so much more confident and cheerful. Not that it wasn't like that with Grace, but he had a connection with Jack that he could never have with her.

Will's cell phone berated from his pocket, breaking the thick silence that he had created for himself. Annoyed, he reached and answered the irate ringing. "Hello?" he asked.

"Will Truman?" the voice on the other side of the line responded. The tone of the voice was so grave and serious, Will felt his heart leap into his mouth.

"Yes?" he answered, his voice cracking in anticipation to who the voice belonged to.

"Hello Will, this is Dr. McCammon. Is Jack available? He won't answer his phone," the doctor said, his tone remaining as assiduous as ever.

Will looked over at Jack sleeping soundly on his chest. With a slight smile, he replied, "No, he isn't awake right now. Why? Is everything ok with him?"

Will's smile faded as the doctor answered.

"Not exactly. Jack's test results came in, and I need you to come over right away. It turns out, Jack is suffering from much worse than the flu..."

Oooh...cliffhanger! Don't you love them?

I'll have the next chapter up by Thursday at the most. Please review, even if it's bad, I don't care. Reviews are like crack to me ;)