Pairing: GS
Summary: What else happened when Sara went back to work?
Disclaimer: I own nothing. CBS, Alliance Atlantis, and others own everything. No infringement is intended. Don't sue me. Just spacing out in my own little world.
Spoilers: Snakes, Nesting Dolls, etc. S5
Real life is intruding this week. Thank you very much everyone for the reviews. Any comments are most appreciated, as I would really like to improve at this!
Grissom arrived for work tired and with no small amount of trepidation. Today Sara was due back, they were backlogged as usual since the team had been split, and his sleep had been short and uneasy. Ecklie had mercifully avoided him most of the week, but he wondered how long that would last, especially now. At least he'd gotten Catherine out of the way.
She had come into his office a couple of days previous, walking with a singularity of purpose that left no doubt of her intent. Thankfully she'd been considerate enough to close the door. He'd had just a few seconds to prepare before she'd plopped down in a chair and fixed him with her steady, don't-mess-with-me-gaze.
"So." She stated. "Sara's going to be back soon."
He sighed and closed his laptop. "Yes." he replied neutrally.
She gave him one of her trademark looks: eyes rolling, mouth slightly open in impatience. "Well, I need to know where you're at, Gil. I'm still pissed, you know."
"I know you are, Catherine." he said evenly. "Let me just say, before you remind me…I know she blew up at you in the hallway. I know you had to address that…"
"She didn't even give me a chance to take it elsewhere!" Catherine exploded.
"Yes, and I know that put you in a bad position, doubled by the fact Conrad was right there zoning in on the conversation."
"Well, what would you have done if you were me?" she retorted.
"I don't honestly know. What I do know is, she lost her temper, you reacted to that, and I don't blame you for it. But," he said quickly, before Catherine could look too vindicated, "there are reasons she was so on edge, and I can't divulge those reasons." He looked straight at her, waiting to get her attention. She paused, and when he was sure she wasn't going to interrupt him, he continued.
"You're just going to have to trust me on this, and know that I've handled it, and it won't happen again. All I can do is try to help her, and ask you to be patient about it."
Catherine searched his face, and Grissom tried to gauge her evaluation.
"I have to protect myself here, Gil. It's my career. And Ecklie was right there."
"I know." he said tiredly. "Everything that could go wrong, did. Sara could have gone about it another way, but she didn't." He knew that was a pretty lame statement, and wouldn't go very far assuaging Catherine's anger. But, to his surprise, she replied,
"She and I have had our differences. Sometimes it's been my fault, sometimes hers. Just try to keep her out of my way for a while. And Grissom," she paused, waiting for him to look her in the eye. "work it out. OK?"
He leveled his gaze at her. "I'm trying."
"Because if it comes down to a member of your team or me, next time, I might not keep my mouth shut. I'll try, because we're friends, and I know I owe you. But this – this is pushing it." She tried to lessen it by giving him a grin, but Grissom could tell she meant it.
"OK." he mumbled, and was glad when she stood up and briskly walked out of his office.
He thought, considering it was Catherine, that it had gone pretty well. At least he felt he could feel reasonably safe in assuming that Catherine would make an effort to steer clear of Sara her first few days back, and give her another chance – as long as Ecklie didn't complicate things.
He'd sent Sara an email that morning, welcoming her back to work and trying to gently remind her that he'd be available if she needed to talk. He knew he didn't need to insult her intelligence by reminding her what she'd be facing, or what was at stake. He'd decided that just letting her know he was there to listen was enough. Actually, he thought ruefully, that was pretty huge for him, and he knew she was probably thinking the same thing.
He really was trying to reach out to her. He didn't know where it would lead, but he reminded himself that it didn't really matter, and he didn't really have a right to hope it would lead anywhere. Even if it did, he still wasn't sure he could deal with it. Could she possibly understand why it was so hard for him? He didn't think so. He was scared, stressed, and tired, but even if he was a coward, he was sick of failing the one person he thought might be able to understand him, even if he never had an opportunity, or the courage to find out if she could. Considering all that she had been through, his problems were moot, really.
Ironic that Sara would probably see any actions on his part as pity, he mused, when the truth was that her confessions to him had been the impetus for seeing his own selfishness, for whatever reason, valid or not, as just that – selfishness, and cowardice. He was tired of thinking of those adjectives in conjunction with himself.
Sara took a deep breath and walked into the lab. She was ready, and she felt much calmer than she thought she would. She strode down the hall towards Ecklie's office, determined to get the hardest chore out of the way first. Ecklie was at his desk and alone. Good, she thought. I won't have to come back and psych myself up to do this again.
She knocked firmly on the doorjamb. Ecklie looked up with his usual smirk, but when he saw her he looked guarded, annoyed, and definitely dangerous.
"Sidle, I see you're back." he said cautiously.
She smiled politely, and then gave him her best serious look. "Yes. I wanted to you to know, I've been properly reprimanded. I've had a week to think about things, and I'm confident I can continue work at my previous level of performance, with my temper under control. I apologize for letting that case get to me emotionally. It caused me to act unprofessionally, and I won't let it happen again."
She waited for his attack. She was determined not to apologize to him personally, and she knew he would probably push that issue.
Ecklie gave her a saccharine smile. "Glad to hear that, Sidle. I'll expect nothing less. We do have boundaries, and I do expect some evidence from you that you know yours, especially where supervisors and the workplace are concerned…"
Sara groaned inwardly, knowing what was coming. Suddenly, her beeper went off. She looked down. My office, ASAP. GG.
She looked up at Ecklie, trying to look worried. "Sorry, I've got to get to Grissom's office…must be a rush on something. Thanks." Sara beat a hasty exit out the office and down the corridor, hardly believing her luck.
Greg peeked around the edge of a computer monitor, from his vantage point across the hall. He thanked the powers that be once again for the lab's many glass walls. Mission accomplished, he typed into his pager. He grinned as he made his way to the break room for assignments.
The shift went fairly smoothly. Catherine, Nick and Warrick were busy on a separate case, and since it involved, of all things, a dead bear, Sara was relieved she wasn't involved and found it easy to avoid running into Catherine. Grissom immediately assigned her to work the case of a missing mother, and she did her best to perform quickly and professionally.
She thought about stopping by Grissom's office on her way out, just to thank him for his concern and efforts to help her on her first day back, but he was already gone. She went home, read for awhile and wrote in her journal, and when the normal world was awake and at work, she forced herself to make some phone calls until she found a support group she thought she could stomach. She typed a reminder for the next meeting date into her calendar and sat back, exhausted for once.
The phone rang, and seeing it was Grissom, she answered.
"I hope I didn't wake you." he said.
"No, I'm still up."
"I was wondering if I could stop by, just for a minute." He sounded a little unsettled.
"Um, sure."
"Actually I'm in your parking lot." Grissom admitted.
Sara laughed. "Come on up."
She opened the door to see him trudging up the stairs, and after getting them both some coffee, they sat down. To her surprise he actually sat next to her on the couch, although he left plenty of room.
Sara figured this was going to be the start of the visits he had told her he was planning on, to discuss the books he'd picked out, and to pick her brain to see how she was doing. But Grissom looked decidedly uncomfortable.
"I wanted you to know something before you hear a twisted, rumor-laden version at work. I don't know how to broach it, so I'm just going to tell you." He paused, and she watched him warily.
"Sophia came to my office at the end of shift to inform me she's going to start looking for a position elsewhere. She wants to leave the lab."
That wasn't so bad, Sara thought. "Well, I know it will leave us really short-handed, but I can't say I blame her, considering her situation. Or that I'll really miss her, either." Sara replied. Grissom shifted awkwardly.
"True." He said. "I um, asked her out to dinner."
Sara tried very hard not to show any outward sign, but she felt immediate disgust. Sophia, who had that same night gloated over the fact she'd been at Greg's apartment? She didn't like Sophia, she was such an obvious flirt, and there seemed to be evidence that at least some of the guys in the lab had taken advantage of that.
Well, why not Grissom too, she thought dismally. She'd been flirting with him the same as everyone else. Just tonight Sara had seen yet more evidence of that. Of course then she had managed to dismiss it, when she'd delivered Grissom's lab report and walked up to see Sophia leaning in towards him at the table. Was I that obvious and pathetic?, she had wondered. She had chosen at that point to blow it off and trust him. Now, she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure if she cared, either.
Grissom saw the walls coming down; saw her eyes glaze. She didn't look jealous, she looked almost cold. "Wait, that came out wrong. Let me finish."
"Grissom, it's really none of my business." she stated flatly.
"I asked her because I was hoping to convince her to stay, at least until I could get a replacement. More importantly, if she's leaving, I wanted to see if she'd give me all the dirt on Ecklie that she knows. Remember I told you I was going to have to be more political?"
Sara looked almost neutral. "I remember."
He was silent, watching her. "So what happened?" she finally asked.
"She's going to stay for at least a couple of weeks, but that's it."
"Did she have any info on Ecklie?"
"Yes." Grissom smiled. "A lot of info. Which I need to keep to myself, so please don't be offended. Just know I got my trump card."
Sara gave him a small smile, and he waited and watched her, but she didn't say anything. Grissom wasn't quite sure what he should expect. A part of him selfishly wanted her to be jealous, and a part of him wanted to just come out and confess to her that he wanted so badly to start over with her. He knew now was not the time for that. As usual, the timing was terrible.
"Look, I appreciate you telling me all of this, but you shouldn't feel like you have to." she finally said. "It's really none of my business, I know that now, and I'm not going to let it bother me like I might have in the past. I want us to be friends, like we used to be, and you initiated the chance for us to rebuild that. It means a lot to me."
Grissom looked decidedly confused. "I just…didn't want you to hear any stupid rumors at work and take them…seriously." he stammered.
She looked him straight in the eye and said, "And I'm glad you warned me. But even if the rumors were true, I'm just saying you don't have to worry about me freaking out if you decided to date Sophia, or whatever."
I'm not worried about you freaking out, he thought dismally. I'm worried about you deciding not to give me another chance. What the hell do I say now?
"OK." He sighed. He was just so tired. Maybe she was just trying to be strong. He certainly couldn't blame her for being over-cautious where he was concerned. "I just don't want you to think I have a thing for Sophia, because frankly, she makes me a little squeamish."
She beamed at him then, and he wondered if he'd actually managed inadvertently to say the right thing for once.
"She even makes Greg a little squeamish." Sara laughed. Grissom smiled in relief.
"So when are you going to grill me on these books, Professor?"
"What, you're done with them already?" Grissom said in disbelief.
"I read fast. And before you ask, yes, I've been writing everything down, I'm almost done with that, and I have a meeting to go to this week."
"Do you have any more coffee?" he asked hopefully.
"Uh huh."
"Do you need to get some sleep?"
She snorted.
He smiled. "OK, might as well be now. At least, until I need to get some sleep."
She stood up next to him and turned towards the kitchen. He stopped her, putting a hand lightly on her shoulder. She stopped where she was, less than a foot from him.
"Are you sure you're not angry with me?" he asked, searching her eyes. She stared back, and shook her head after a few seconds.
"No." she said.
"I'd rather be here than anywhere else." He smiled, and then sat down quickly and opened one of her books.
Sara tilted her head, started to say something, gave up, and went into the kitchen.
When she came back to the couch with the coffee he was still smiling, almost hopefully. He handed her one of the opened books as she sat down, and she smiled back.