Chapter seven: Oblivious to my pain

Ruthie awoke peacefully for the first night since the rape, she awoke happy with pain bringing her to reality. She hadn't been awakened by a nightmare, but a dream a dream that made her feel content and normal again. Ruthie looked around, until she realized she wasn't at home. She was at Sean's house; her parents were going to kill her when they found out.

"Sean?" Ruthie called. Suddenly feeling that this was a nightmare.

"Yeah" Sean came in, and Ruthie's fears disappeared.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Nine am," he said.

"On no School," Ruthie kicked off the blackest Sean had laid on her when she fell asleep, and jumped up off the couch.

"Ruthie" Sean looked at her he didn't want her to go. But he thought that she would feel pressured if he said anything. "I'll drive you"

"No, I want to say with you" she knew that's what he wanted.

"No," Sean said.

"Yes," He wanted to protect her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips she felt happy kissing him again. His lips were sweet and warm and made her forget about everything.

Annie had been calling Ruthie's cell all night but it was no use she had turned it off, she was hysterical why had her daughter run off like this. What had happened was she ok, was she hurt, was she dead or was she just trying to piss her mother off? It was already noon; the school had called to find out why Ruthie wasn't in school. Annie was hoping Ruthie had gone to school, no such luck; Eric looked at her.

"Don't worry, there isn't anything we can do" Eric said.

"I know but where is she?" Annie said.

" I don't know" Eric answered. He held his wife and looked up praying for Ruthie. He wished he had never let her go; he should have gone after her. Why hadn't he let Annie chase her why hadn't he chased her? Was she okay? Why had she left?

"You should call your parents" Sean said to Ruthie as they ate dinner. "They're probably worried sick"

"Why?" Ruthie said curtly.

"Because they're your parents" Sean said handing her the phone. She stared at him.

"Fine" she said.

"I mean you have to go home sometime," Sean said. "You're not the kind of girl who stays out all night, or skips school Ruthie"

"I'm not the kind of girl who thought she would get raped," She said.

"I know but what are you going to do tomorrow?" Sean asked. "Or the next day? I got suspended, but once it's over I can't skip school or I'll lose the student welfare" She looked at him, and nodded.

"But I can't go home" Ruthie said. "Today was the best day of my life, I love you. You make feel safe and at home and school… I feel vulnerable"

"I'll be with you at school Ruthie" Sean said. She started dialing. It rang once.

"Hello?" Annie said frantically. She only heard Breathing. "Ruthie?"

"Yes" Ruthie said.

"Oh Ruthie your okay" She cried. Eric ran over. "Ruthie where are you?"

"I'm not telling you you'll come and get me, just listen," she said. "I am safe, but I need to be away from you"

"So please don't worry," She said. Sean stared at her.

"You need to go home" he whispered, She shook her head. "Yes you do," he said raising his voice so that her parents could hear.

"Sean?" Annie said. Ruthie glared at him, he got up and took the phone from her. She stared at him she knew he was doing this for her.

"Listen I'll drive your daughter over, she's fine nothing happened trust me," He said. "I love her and just want to protect her"

"Thank you" Annie said. Sean hung up. He stared at Ruthie and she smiled and hugged him.

They arrived in front of the Camden house Ruthie stared at Sean she didn't want to go in but she kissed him goodbye.

"I love you," She whispered. "I'll come over after school tomorrow"

"I love you too" She sighed smiling at her persistence. She left him and head inside, but once inside she wished she were back with Sean. Her parents ran to her hugging her she stepped aside though she was only ready to hug Sean.

"Oh what were you thinking?" Annie cried. She waited for a response "Ruthie your not going to say anything not even apologize?"

"For what?" She said.

"For running away, skipping school sleeping over at a boys house," her father said emphasizing boy.

"No, I wouldn't want to lie" she said. "Sean explained nothing happened"

"Yeah and we believe him because he drove you home, he knew you had done something wrong but you don't seem to see that" Annie said.

"Well he isn't as bad as you guys thought he was?" Ruthie retorted.

"Maybe your not as good as we thought you were?" Annie snapped back. Ruthie stared at her, crushed how could she say that. Her mouth literally dropped, and Annie immediately felt bad for what she had just said.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not" Ruthie said fighting back tears. She dropped her bag and ran upstairs. She locked herself in her room crying, she wasn't home ten minutes and she felt as though it was her fault for everything. Felt as though she was bad, as though she had deserved to be raped. She wanted to call Sean but she couldn't. Ruthie went into her bathroom, cried.

Ruthie awoke the next morning and looked at her arm the bruises were fading. She got up it was 7:30 am she had a little less then an hour, she went into the bathroom, and took a shower, and got dressed she put on a long sleeved shirt with a short shirt on top she put on her black Jeans. She grabbed her book bag, and went down stairs. Her mother was sitting in the kitchen, making breakfast for the twins Ruthie sat down silently David started to talk to her but Sam glared at him.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Annie asked.

"Maybe just some toast" she said. Her mother started to make her some toast, then Martin came down. He looked at Ruthie and rolled his eyes. She saw him, and felt hurt but glared at him.

"So you need a ride?" Martin asked.

"Yeah" Ruthie shrugged.

"Okay then hurry up meet me in the car in 5 minutes" He said and left. Ruthie narrowed her eyes but gave it up and finished her toast. Once done she left after him. When she got in the car they were silent almost all the way to school.

"So you have any reason for running away?" he finally asked.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Any idea how freaked your parents were, not to mention the boys! Do you even care?" Martin asked. She was silent; she wasn't going to let him make her cry. "Are you going to say anything?"

"What do you know?" She said.

"Well I would never do that because I can't my dads in Iraq!" Martin said. "I wouldn't be selfish enough to make my father terrified—" They pulled up in front of the school.

"SHUT UP" Ruthie said she started crying. She ran out of the car.

"Ruthie?" He called after her. He punched the steering wheel.

Ruthie ran into a bathroom stall. She wished she were back with Sean; she cried, and thought of Sean, she felt better. She got out of the stall and the bathroom door opened and she quickly pulled her sleeve down. It was Paige.

"OMG, Ruthie your parents called me yesterday looking for you I heard you ran away. What happened?" Paige looked at her concerned.

"I was with Sean, I was upset. I'm fine I don't want to talk about it," she said.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing," Ruthie said shifting her eyes around.

"Are you crazy?" Paige asked.

"What?" Ruthie said.

"Why in the world would you run away, what is up with you? I'm your best friend" Paige said.

"Paige please just back off" She said shaking her head "now I have class don't you?" She walked away leaving Paige speechless, and shaking her head.

Finally the end of the day came, she ran out as early as possible and ditched martin. She walked to Sean's house, when she rung the doorbell Sean greeted her.

"What are you doing here?" Sean asked.

"I told you I was coming" Ruthie said.

"Yeah but didn't you parents ground you?" Sean asked.

"Sean I need you" Ruthie said staring at him. Sean's phone rang.

"Ok come in" Sean said and he grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" Sean heard breathing. "Hello? Alex is that you?" he whispered. The line went dead.

"Who was it?" Ruthie asked.

"I don't know but whoever it is has been calling all day yesterday too" It was Alex Sean knew it.

"Oh," Ruthie said worried.

"It's okay," he said.

"Okay" she smiled. Ruthie gave Sean a kiss, she was so happy to be with him. Sean was glad she was with him. Ruthie told Sean all about her day and how had a fight with Paige. The phone rang again.

"Hello?" Sean said. Breathing. "Alex this isn't funny"

"You're going to pay Sean." He said.

"Alex—"The line went dead.

"Who was it?" Ruthie got nervous.

"A salesman" Sean lied.

"Oh" Ruthie smiled and continued telling him. When she said she had walked to his house by her self he got mad.

"You what?" Sean said.

"What?" Ruthie said.

"You could have been hurt," he said.

"But—"Ruthie said starting to tear.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you" Sean said he gave her a big hug. The phone rang again. "I got it"

"What?" Sean said sharply. Ruthie looked nervously at him.

"Watch yourself Cameron," Said the voice. "Watch Camden too!"

"Stop it—" Sean screamed. The line went dead. Ruthie looked at him. Sean looked at her and sighed. "You got to go home now"

"Why? Who was that?" Ruthie said.

"Just don't worry its okay" Sean said. "I'll drive you"

"No!" Ruthie said. Pulling her hand from his. Sean stared at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, please just let me take you home?" Sean said Ruthie nodded. Why was Sean so quite, he wasn't telling her but she knew something was wrong.