Oh look! Chapter two. And it's only been done for about two months before I got around to posting it… Um… This chapter deserves the R rating so if you don't like then go away. Or at least don't bitch about it if you decide to read.
Thanks to lovely Lizz for doing the beta reading. Wow was it ever a piece of crap before that…
So enjoy and please leave a review.
Chapter Two
There were some things that were better off never being mentioned again. The other night would definitely count as one of them, at least in Scott's opinion. He was pretty sure that Duncan would agree with him.
Of course it was easy to never mention something again. Never thinking about it, however, was an entirely different matter. Which Scott was discovering as he sat up in his room, still in bed far past the usual time, thinking about Duncan. Again.
And he wasn't thinking the usual thoughts of bitter anger, although those were certainly present. No, these thoughts were altogether different and something he should most certainly not be thinking regarding his mortal enemy. Or any teenage boy, come to that.
Shouldn't be thinking of the hard, heavy weight pressing him in to the floorboards of Duncan's balcony. Shouldn't be thinking of Duncan's calloused male hands tugging away clothing to glide over skin. Sure as hell shouldn't be thinking of how absolutely fucking great it was to be taken by the other boy. A feeling that stayed with him now whenever he moved.
He wasn't gay. Had never even thought of another male that way. Except a brief passing thought about Josh Harnet. But surely that didn't count, right?
He had a girlfriend. Or…pretty close to one anyway. Things may have been a little iffy between them right then. Sure she had told him to stay away from her. But things would smooth over and they could go back to being the happy not-couple they were.
So he really shouldn't be thinking about Duncan. In fact, he should be angry at the guy. It was him and his stupid drinking contest that had gotten Scott into trouble with Jean in the first place. This, of course, simply brought back to mind thoughts of what else had happened because of that drinking contest. Why couldn't he have been drunk enough to forget it all?
He groaned to himself, frustrated and angry. Shifted his hips and thought that he could really use a cold shower right about then. It was after 10 am and, actually, he should have been getting up anyway.
Not that he actually moved other than to let a hand slip down his stomach and under the waistband of his boxers. Guilty pleasure there. And he really shouldn't be thinking about Duncan and getting off. He'd think about Jean, but that just made him blush.
He wondered if she'd been tuned into his brain this entire time. Felt himself go ice cold with the thought. Maybe the Prof had been listening…well, that was certainly one way to kill improper desires. Far better than a cold shower. God, he hoped his mind was just overreacting.
There was a knock at the door.
He swallowed and glanced towards it with guilty fear. Probably just someone come to check and see why he wasn't up yet. Certainly not Jean or the Prof wanting to find out just how screwed up he really was.
Another knock. "Scott?"
Oh God, oh God, oh God… "Come in, Jean." He was fairly positive that his voice didn't crack. Much.
She stepped in, a look of mild curiosity on her face. He stayed where he was, still in bed bundled under the blankets but leant up against the headboard. Cleared his throat and studiously did not think about Duncan. Especially not the way his hands did that thing… He wondered what Jean would do if he started banging his head against the wall. Probably call the white coats. It's more than likely she should anyway as there was something obviously wrong with his head.
"Did you want something?" Trying to sound pleasant and not like he wanted to get her out of the room as fast as possible.
"You weren't down for breakfast and I wanted to come and see if you were okay." Her voice held concern. Odd, since the last time he spoke to her, two days ago, she had been very pissed off. She must have gotten over the fact that he had been drinking with Duncan.
Don't think of Duncan, don't think of Duncan, don't think of…
"I'm fine. I guess I was just tired. Slept in a bit." Nice calm voice.
She seemed to be indecisive for a moment before stepping further in to the room. Sat on the edge of his bed.
"I was thinking we need to talk a bit as well."
"Oh?" He shifted away from her a bit. Like that would make a difference in her ability to read his mind.
Don't think about Duncan… Did thinking about not thinking about Duncan count as thinking about him? He concentrated on song lyrics instead.
She nodded slightly. Gave him a vaguely odd look. Probably the fact that he was projecting the song Mandy. "About what happened at Duncan's."
He tried not to choke as he inhaled. Oh God, she knew. But he decided to play dumb anyway. "What happened at Duncan's?" He felt proud that he could say that name out loud without blushing.
The look she gave him was irritated and vaguely frustrated. "When you acted like an idiot and we fought? Don't tell me you don't remember." Cleary whatever scrap of patience she'd had for him was lost.
He looked at her blankly for a moment. Saw the expression on her face darken before it clicked. "Oh. Right. That."
"Yes. That." Now she sounded outright pissed. He remembered that same tone from the party.
"Jean… I'm sorry. But I'm really not feeling too great right now. Can we talk about this later?" A blatant lie. Which he'd feel bad for later he was sure. He felt fine. Scared as hell that any moment now she'd find out exactly what he did remember about that night.
Don't think about Duncan…
If looks could kill… Well, he'd have been dead long before now for one thing.
"Whatever, Scott." She shook her head in obvious annoyance and stood and stormed out of the room. Slammed the door behind her.
He sighed. He really needed to do something about this little… obsession, though he used the term loosely, with Duncan.
Once again Duncan was wrecking his and Jeans non-relationship. Even if it was in an entirely different way from usual. He was about to relax back against the pillows when a telepathic voice floated in to his head.
Scott?
He sighed again. Yes, Professor?
You've been having some rather strong thoughts about Duncan this morning. Straightforward and to the point.
Oh crap. I… um… It's nothing, sir.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, Scott.
I'm not, sir. Just horribly messed up and he really did need to learn to keep his thoughts to himself.
Scott. There is nothing wrong with thinking another male attractive. He sounded caring and understanding. He always did. Usually it helped. This time it made Scott want to crawl under the blankets and hide from it.
I don't find Duncan… attractive. God, he couldn't even think the word. Not attached to Duncan. Jean was attractive. Duncan was not.
He was sure the Professor gave a telepathic sigh. If you'd like to talk, Scott.
Only there was nothing to talk about so Scott remained silent. Because he wasn't gay. Or even bi. He had only been drunk. And now… now he was…now… Dammit. He was not gay.
Could his day possibly get any worse? He was definitely going to lock himself in his room when the next party hit.
Apparently the day could get worse. Much, much worse.
Go out onto the track and clear his mind. It had seemed like a good plan. Run laps until the sweat trickled under the glasses and his muscles burned with the strain. Until he couldn't think of anything else. Certainly not Duncan. Literally try to out run his problems.
So far it wasn't working.
Sweat reminded him of sweat slick bodies moving together. Arching his neck, head rolled back on the floorboards as Duncan's tongue was dragged across slick skin. Aching burn as Duncan slid in to him, made him groan and writhe.
Running really was not working so far. He pushed it up a notch. Ran faster. Hopefully left the thoughts behind. Blank mind.
To an extent it started to work. The thoughts stopped coming as he concentrated on making himself run hard. Long. Past his limit and he was going to be unable to move by tomorrow.
He ran until he could no longer keep going. Until he was too exhausted to stand. Until he was far too exhausted to think.
He was on the track at the school so it was easy to go in and grab a shower. The locker room was deserted. Not many kids wanted to see school during summer vacations. Or at all really.
The showers were as deserted as the rest of the place for which he was grateful. God knows what would happen if he'd had to shower with a bunch of other guys. Absolutely nothing because he was not gay. Not.
Only now the thought was in his head and he's fairly confident that there's probably some gay porn show that starts like that. Sweaty guys jerking off in the shower together. Great.
Banishing the vision from his head he stripped out of sticky damp clothes and padded barefoot to the showers. Twisted the taps until a blast of lukewarm water hit him. The best he was going to get here. If he got lucky it would at least hit warm after a moment or two of letting the water run.
Grabbed the soap that he had set there earlier and lathered up. Ran the bar over his chest and studiously did not think about Duncan's hands running over the same place. Did not think about Duncan's muscle's moving under his own hands. Didn't think about the guy's gasps of pleasure as his fingers found and teased more sensitive areas.
Ignored the erection that was beginning to rise. Cleaned around it because he was not going to touch himself while thinking of Duncan. Almost had earlier and he felt perversely thankful for Jean's intrusion. Because he's not gay.
"Thinking about me?"
The sudden voice echoed off the tiles. Scott yelped in surprise and spun rather abruptly to face the speaker. Duncan. Looking smug and with a towel slung around his waist. It was obvious he'd been working out from the slight sheen of sweat that glistened off his skin.
Instantly, he could feel his face color and he turned back around to hide the already noticed arousal. Tried to make it look detached. Like he'd seen who it was and couldn't be bothered. Definitely wasn't about to tell Duncan that, yes, he had just been thinking about him. Had been thinking about him all day in fact.
"Don't flatter yourself, Matthews."
Tried to ignore him and get the shower over with. Get the hell out of there. Not an easy thing to do when Duncan stepped past him to lean against the tiles. Watched.
He gave Duncan a thoroughly irritated look, thankful for the glasses that hid his eyes and made it easier to hide his emotions. Even if they were starting to steam up as the water finally began to warm.
"Did you want something?" Biting tone. Immediately wished that he hadn't said a thing. Duncan smirked at him, looked him over with a pointedly raised eyebrow. Scott couldn't help but let his own eyes slip down. The towel did nothing to hide Duncan's own arousal. He swallowed. Snapped his eyes back up and stared hard at the tiles. Ignored Duncan's amused chuckle.
Couldn't quite ignore it when Duncan moved. Couldn't ignore the brisk step taken toward Scott and suddenly there was a warm body pressed along his back. Big hands were on his hips holding him still, not that he actually tried to move. The rough fabric of the towel rubbed against his backside. A soft breath in his ear.
He could hear the smirk in Duncan's voice. "Does this answer your question, Summers?" And he rolled his hips forward against Scott's ass. Made him groan.
"Duncan." Said in warning. Telling him to back off. Probably would have been more effective if it hadn't had that hint of want in it.
Obviously Duncan had heard it because he didn't move away. Instead, he dropped a hand from Scott's hip to give the towel a tug and let it fall to the ground. Then he rocked his erection against Scott again. He reached a hand around to touch Scott where he really didn't need any encouragement.
Scott could feel himself moan more than hear it.
"I'm not gay." Came out with a gasp, as Duncan's foot nudged against the inside of his legs, encouraging him to widen his stance. He did so without complaint. Tilted his head to look back over his shoulder at Duncan. Saw Duncan give him a shrug.
"Who cares? I'm getting off, you're getting off. Everybody's happy." Obviously just working on the hormones of horny teenager and not bothering himself to care about anything else. Duncan never did think very much, went with instinct. Simpler maybe. Stupider certainly.
Scott couldn't find it in him to care much as fingers slipped between them and explored. Threw himself into instinct as well. Cried out as he was breached for a second time.
He still wasn't gay though. Really.
As if he didn't have enough problems with being a mutant. As if people didn't have enough things to hate and ridicule him over. As if his mind wasn't already screwed up enough.
No. He had to get it bad for a guy. And, of course, not just any guy. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if it had been Paul or Kurt. Hell, even Lance would have been preferable. Maybe. But it had to be Duncan.
Oh yeah. He had a major hard on for Duncan. Nothing could be worse than that. Except, maybe the fact that he had let Duncan fuck him twice now. Had wanted it. Now wanted it again.
He had managed to come to at least some peace with that now. He wanted Duncan. Wanted to feel him.
So maybe he was a little more gay than he'd thought. Not that anyone needed to know that… Except Duncan, of course. Unless he really was as dense as he looked and had actually believed Scott when he'd said 'I'm not gay'. Never mind the fact that he had been naked and willingly spreading his legs while he'd said it.
He may have been a little bit bitter towards the guy. After all, his life had been perfectly, or close enough, happy. He'd known what was what, where he was going and what he was doing. Then Duncan had come along and turned it all upside down.
At least he still knew what he wanted. Unfortunately, what he wanted was really what he shouldn't be thinking about. Wrong. He was gay and it was wrong. Hardly fit in with the image of perfect leader that he had got going. Which was exactly what he had wanted. To quit being perfect and have everything expected of him. To quit having to try so damned hard in everything he did. To quit having people look at him and expect more.
Duncan didn't expect more. Didn't expect him to lead the way, didn't expect him to try so much. Just to be there, to bend over, and to enjoy himself. God, did he enjoy himself.
It was… freeing. To give the control up to Duncan and let him take the pressure. Let himself just feel. Shifted restlessly in the seat of his car as he drove back to the mansion. He could definitely feel it. Let his eyes slip closed at it. Snapped them back open a moment later when he realized he really should be watching the road.
So… maybe he wanted this a bit. A lot. Wouldn't argue if Duncan came to him again but wouldn't seek him out either. He wanted it. He didn't need it. Wondered if Duncan wanted it just as much. Seemed to.
Gay. He shook his head. Couldn't even blame it on the alcohol this time.