Chapter eleven: Help me

The rain beat down hard upon her back as she sat crouched down on the grass in the park. Thoughts of suicide flashed through her mind, but as that so did her family. Ruthie sat there ignoring the rain she was completely drenched, but she didn't care. What should I do? She stared down at the bottle in her hand…

My life is mine and mine alone
Yet I stand here like a stone
Wishing I could take my life
You don't understand
I don't either; it's my choice
I want to go

It was late at night but Eric thought he heard something; he went downstairs to see if anyone was up. A chilly wind blew through the house as he saw the medicine cabinet open and backdoor as well. A puddle had formed from the rain pouring in Happy sat there barking. Eric felt a sense of panic rush over him, Ruthie. He closed the backdoor and ran upstairs to his daughter's room to find it empty. In a panic Eric rushed down the stairs and into in to his room. He hurriedly woke up his wife.

"What?" Annie asked in a daze.

"Ruthie's gone!" Eric said. Annie bolted up, and stared in to her husband's eyes in disbelief. She finally understood and became hysterical.

"What?" She repeated. She got up and turned on the light.

"I don't know I heard noises and went downstairs," Eric said. "The door was open and the medicine cabinet, where could she be?" Annie got up and hurried downstairs to see for herself.

"Annie?" Eric asked. He went after her to find her downstairs weeping as she stared at the puddle on the floor.

"Where, where is she?" Annie tried to leave to see if she could go after her daughter but Eric stopped her.

"It's late and wet" Eric sighed. Annie laid her head on his shoulders and cried.

Ruthie pulled herself up sitting down on a bench. She had given up, and pulled out some pills from the bottle shoving them down her throat. She winced at the bitter taste. She then threw the bottle on the ground the pills spilled out, she watched as they dissolved in the rain. She waited for them to take effect; she just wanted her life over. What did I do? Was I so horrible? Was I?

"Was I?" She screeched. "Was I god, was I that awful" She cried. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be bad. I'm sorry. She felt her head become heavy, from exhaustion. She laid on her back the cold starting to get to her, but she was in another reality one with so much pain she didn't feel it anymore.

Kevin was out searching for Ruthie, he didn't care that it was late she was his sister-in-law and she was possibly in danger of hurting herself. He couldn't live with himself if she was never found alive. He drove around and round looking for her, checking every place he could think of. But he wasn't having much luck; the other officers were now looking for her too. He was tired, his eyes kept drifting shut but finally he saw something a shady figure lying on a bench. He pulled up, getting out of the car. He ran over, and sure enough it was Ruthie he radioed for help, calling 911. He took a step closer; stepping on something he picked it up. Oh n, an empty bottle! Shit she couldn't have!

"Ruthie!" He cried smacking her face gently. She didn't make a sound her body only moved to touch of his hand. "Ruthie!" He shouted. In the distance he heard the sounds of sirens wailing.

I Lie alone
Trapped beneath myself
I can't breathe
So I gasp for air
What if I were to stop
Would life come to a halt?
Or only mine?

Lights flash atop my eyes, all I see is darkness. People talk, distant I can barely hear them. Am I dead? What's going on? Sirens wail through my head, breaking the sound barrier of my ears. I try to scream to make it stop, but nobody hears me. Help me! Get me out of here! Help! I hear familiar voices, but I can't place them to a face. A steady beep, beep, beep drones through my head over and over again. "Clear" I hear someone say. I can feel my body shake violently, my mind is like an orchestra replaying sounds over and over. I can place which is now, and which is past. A blinding white light, rips across my eyes, and all the noise stops. Fear soon clouds my mind. Did I do it? Am I dead? All I see being played in my mind are memories. I can see myself playing detective with Simon, following the mailman only to end up lost. I see myself kissing peter. I spin around staring at one memory after another, Laughter and tears mixed. They slowly disappear leaving me with the beep, beep, beep slowly drifting through my mind into one long beep.