These characters aren't mine, sadly, and I make no profit from (insert story the particular fic of mine you are reading is based on here). I cry out to the stars, "If only, if only."
By the by, watch out, a few of the characters may be ooc. (out of character for those of you who don't know what that stands for.)
Chapter 23: Sue's Potion, Day One
"BONZAI!" crowed Sue, jumping off a particularly hideous stone gargoyle in a darkened, disused hallway. Mince was right behind her with a mighty "YIP!", then vigorously licked Draco's face.
"Stupid wench," Draco hissed at Sue.
"That was so sweet! Thanks," Sue said and, having no clue what 'wench' meant, got up to dance around him in a circle and sing a song she had just invented about being a stupid wench. She paused in the middle of a spin, the word she was singing dying instantaneously. "What are you doing in this hallway?"
"None of your business," he replied.
"I'll bet your avoiding Diina. Is she and Harry making out again?" Sue asked eagerly. She gave him no time to reply. "Where? Where? Tell me where!"
"I'm not avoiding Diina, I'm avoiding everyone."
"Why?"
"You don't care."
"Yes I do. Now tell me or I'll hang you on a hook."
"It's my birthday, okay?" Draco snapped. He hated it when people made a big deal about his birthday.
"Oh! Happy Birthday!"
"That's exactly what I didn't want to hear."
"Hey," Sue said, reaching into a hidden pocket and pulling out the vial of her creation, "we can have a birthday toast! To a long and happy life which, if my suspicions are correct, will end very shortly after you drink this." She shoved the vial in his mouth and he'd swallowed a fourth of the concoction before he could pull away. Sue downed another fourth. "Yum!" Then she corked it and ran off, Mince trailing behind her.
-
"Hiya Diina," Sue said, sitting next to her in the beginning of Potions. "I bonzaied Draco this morning and he told me it's his birthday."
"Sue, Potions is about to start. And in case you forgot, Snape's got it in for you for what you did to his office," Diina whispered.
"Oh, that reminds me. You weren't present for the birthday toast," Sue said, pulling out her vial and forcing Diina to gulp down a fourth of her brew.
-
"BONZAI!" Sue hollered, tackling Harry.
"YIP!" Mince added, following Sue.
"Sue, I'm late for Potions," Harry complained.
"Lucky you! You've bumped into me and I just happen to be in a giving mood, so you can have the last of Sue's Super Special Birthday Brew." She thrust the vial between his lips and the last of her creation belonged to Harry. She then tossed the empty vial aside and scampered away with Mince.
-
As Diina, Sue, Harry, and Draco fell asleep that night, they noticed nothing different or unusual. But in the morning, their worlds were strange.
-
Sue woke up in the morning, but didn't open her eyes right away. She had been given a room of her own. However, this morning she heard someone snoring. And she didn't feel Mince beside her. She was extremely hungry, but that was normal. She opened her eyes and found herself in the Slytherin dormitories. Everything around her looked fuzzy. How'd I get into Diina's room? And where's Diina?
-
Draco woke up and looked for the clock on his bedside table. Things were so fuzzy, he had to bring the clock within inches of his face to see it. I don't know why things are so damn fuzzy. Where the hell am I anyway?
-
When Harry awoke, he reached for his glasses on his table. He paused with his hand halfway to the table because he had just realized that everything was crystal clear to his eyes. Including his suddenly and unusually pale hand. What the-
-
Diina clung to sleep as best she could, but just a moment ago she had felt something lying on her stomach. The only possibility she could come up with was that someone had laid their head on her stomach, and if it was Draco, she would draw and quarter him. She decided to give up on sleep and opened her eyes to see what it was. She first noticed she was far more buxom than before. When did I grow these melons?! Next, Diina realized that she was alone in a strange room. This was followed by the fact that she could see without her glasses.
Diina jumped up (startling the thing on her stomach, which turned out to be Mince) and ran over to the mirror. The reflection staring back at her frightened her.
"Dear God! I've turned into Sue!" she wailed.
-
Sue grabbed Diina's glasses off the bedside table and rammed them on her nose, certain Diina wouldn't mind Sue borrowing her glasses until Sue solved her newly acquired eye problem. She also helped herself to Diina's clothes, never pausing to glance at the mirror. The girls kept talking to Diina (even though Diina wasn't in the room), so Sue headed for the common room, convinced the girls were not all there.
"Diina!" Draco called, jumping up from a couch and running over. He stopped in front of Sue. "Diina, I know"-
"Silly head! Can't you tell that I'm Sue?" she asked.
"Wait. If I'm Malfoy and you're Diina, then...Diina must be in your body and Malfoy's in mine!"
"Malfoy, you're getting as weird as the girls in Diina's room," Sue said.
"Sue, have you looked in a mirror today?"
"Don't look in mirrors. If you look into a mirror on a night when the moon is full, you'll be sucked in and trapped for eternity," Sue responded.
"Sue, it was your potion! You look like Diina and I, Harry, look like Malfoy."
"So my potion did something to us after all! I thought it was a dud," Sue crowed.
-
Diina practically skipped down the hall. Being Sue suited her purposes at the moment. She had something very important to tell Harry and this was her opportunity. Sue would blab it out and run away. So Diina, in imitation of Sue, would tell Harry and dash off without having to deal with Harry's reaction. Diina was quite pleased with her plan. If only she had known...
Hoping to convincingly play the part of Sue, Diina was perched atop a gargoyle waiting for Harry to come past so she could bonsai him. Most of the Gryffindors had gone by on their way to breakfast, including Ron and Hermione, but Harry hadn't been seen yet.
Then, all of a sudden, there he was, coming around the corner. Diina watched him get closer...closer...closer...
"Bonzai!" she cried weakly, leaping off the statue. She hit the floor with a loud thump, having jumped a moment too soon. She lay sprawled at Harry's feet.
"Sue? Are you"-
"I'm fine," Diina declared, springing up in a Sue-like fashion. "I...guess I'm just a bit off today. Hey, I just found out something from Diina. You'll never guess what she told me..."
-
"Diina's packed on some weight," Sue commented. "See Harry?" Sue lifted her shirt enough to expose her lower abdomen.
"Sue, that's not 'some weight'," Harry said awkwardly in Draco's voice.
"Whaddya mean?"
"Diina is, uh...pregnant."
"How do you know? Did she tell you? She didn't tell me. She told me she had something important to tell you, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. How dare she keep this from me?!"
"She didn't tell me. But that's not where you'd put on weight merely because you gained a few pounds."
"Oh, okay, if you say so," Sue said. "You know, she'll prolly tell you today that she's gonna have a bouncing baby brat."
-
Draco knew this wasn't Sue. The imposter was doing a good job of pretending, though.
-
Diina had just broken the news, whirling around to leave before she saw his reaction. That's when she saw herself (well, Sue in her body) running up with Draco. She made inaudible noises, realizing that Harry and Draco must have switched bodies, due to the fact that Sue would never go anywhere with Draco.
"Diina, don't tell him anything," Harry yelled with Draco's voice.
"Little late on that one, Potter," Draco replied with a smirk that looked horribly sinister on Harry's face. Draco grabbed Diina's arm, and instinctively Diina jerked her arm out of his grasp, throwing him face-first into the floor.
Sue ran forward, eager to get into the fight. Draco had recovered from being thrown to the floor and pushed her aside. Harry, infuriated, whipped out his (well, actually Draco's) wand and Draco followed suit. Diina, who had rushed over to Sue, readied herself to run back in and punch Draco's lights out, apologizing to Harry for damaging his face as she did so. But Sue stopped her.
"Let them. They need to know which one of them will have you," Sue said.
"The strongest takes it all," Diina mumbled, watching Harry and Draco fire hexes at each other.
"What do you think you're doing there?" Filch shouted, appearing the corridor. "Stop that!" He had to duck as a hex came sailing at him. Luckily, Professor Snape appeared on the scene.
"Potter! What do you think you are doing?" Snape cried, outraged. "Expelliarmus!"
"Snape, you bastard," Draco yelled back at him as he lost his wand.
"What did you...50 points from Gryffindor!"
"Professor, that's not fair," Harry cried. Snape turned to stare at him while Draco let another one of those smirks distort Harry's good looks. Realizing how odd it would sound to have Malfoy sticking up for him, he added hastily, "It should be at least 100." He silently cursed himself for suggesting Gryffindor lose that many points.
"I will decide the punishment, Malfoy," Snape replied.
"What's going on?" McGonagall asked, coming on the scene.
"Potter attacked Malfoy," Snape exclaimed.
"I'll sort out this end of it, Severus," McGonagall said, sending him to check on Sue and Diina.
"Sue," Snape said, disgusted at the idea of talking with her, "are you alright?" To his surprise it was Diina (or so he thought) that responded.
"I'm fine. Might wanna check on Diina though. She was about ready to punch Draco to death. Would've broken his glasses," she remarked.
"Sue! Shut up," the girl who looked and sounded like Sue hissed, as Snape began to comprehend the situation.
-
As Harry listened to McGonagall's lecture, he realized that if Malfoy could get points taken from Gryffindor in Harry's name, then he could reverse the situation.
"Stuff it," he yelled at McGonagall.
"Malfoy? What did you"- McGonagall started.
"I told you to shut up, you ugly old hag." He quickly covered his mouth, realizing that if Malfoy revealed their predicament, McGonagall would make his life hell.
"Fifty points from Slytherin," she responded.
"Somehow, these girls have switched bodies," Snape said to McGonagall, coming over to her. "Perhaps the boys..."
"Erm, sorry about those...comments, Professor," Harry drawled with Draco's voice.
"Filch, don't you have other duties to attend to?" Snape asked icily. Filch hurried off. "Who's fault is this?"
"It's all me!" Sue shouted with Diina's voice. "Wasn't that awesome? See, it was Draco's birthday yesterday, but he didn't want anyone to know it, so as a birthday toast I had him, Diina, Harry, and me drink my potion, remember that potion I made that melted your office? Anyways, we woke up like this and then we came running here to tell Diina not to tell Draco that she's preg"-
Draco and Harry raised their wands as Diina grabbed hers from Sue's pocket, shouting, "Silencio!" simultaneously. Sue continued trying to talk, but to no avail.
"What she's saying is that the boys got into a duel. We're all feeling rather poorly," Diina lied. "We should be in the Hospital wing."
The four of them spent the day in seclusion while Snape tried to figure out what exactly it was that Sue had concocted, but his search produced no results.