I don't want to say it. I don't like saying it. But it's true, and brings the sad reality home. I don't own Labyrinth…oh no!
Questers, Chapter three.
The castle beyond the goblin city shook, dust drifting from the ceiling, stones grating against one another, mortar chipping.
"That's it my brother!"
A stone dropped from the ceiling, crashing next to the small fox. "well, perhaps not." He reflected, noting the cracked floor. Once again he wiggled, trying to free himself from the ropes that held him fast to the barrel. Once again with no success.
"Youse should stop-hic! -dat." A large helmeted goblin remarked, stumbling unsteadily towards Sir Didymus. "Da King don't like it when we mess dis place up."
"Personally, I believe demolition could only tidy this place." Sir Didymus glared at the chicken pecking Ludo's feet, woken from his daydreams of valor and glory at last. "Stop those avians perpetrating that foul deed! My brother Ludo is a brave and noble beast and does not deserve to have his feet pecked to ribbons much less to be chained as he is!"
Ludo howled again, whether from pain or to call his friends, the rocks it wasn't clear.
The goblin shrugged, and picked up a mug from the top of the barrel, refilling it at the tap. Taking a swig, he swooshed the beer round his mouth, replying "But da King saids we weren't to let youse go. Whats he gonna do if we lets you go? Dump us's in der swamp dat's what. Na na, youse is gonna stay dere."
Sir Didymus regarded the beer dribbling down the goblin's grin with obvious distaste.
"You, my dear sir, are an simplistic, alcoholic, no brained buffoon! Ruff!" He snapped at the goblin.
"Aw, thwanks. Yous is a real nice prisoner." He slurped again from the mug. "Could you tell hims to keep it doon tho? Nearly time for Rosie to sing."
"Keep it down? Goblin singing?! Let me loose and I'll give you a song you won't forget in a hurry!"
"Dat'd be good," the goblin paused weighing up a singsong, or the possibility of the kings wrath. "Buts we'd better keep youse tied up. Maybes yous could sing like dat?"
Sighing, Sir Didymus dropped his head.
A goblin jumped on top of Sir Didymus's barrel, wearing a permed blonde wig and a red dress, the effect of which seemingly supposed to try and make the goblin look like a stunted Marlin Monroe. Sadly, this was not the case, instead looking like a goblin wearing a red dress and blonde wig that reached down to its knees.
Kicking up its heels, it started into what would have promised to be an astounding musical number (about pigs and sausages) had it not been interrupted…
"awww…what'd I land on?" cussed a strong Yorkshire voice.
"Sir Hoggle? Is that you?" asked Sir Didymus, trying to peer above him.
"If it isn't I'd want ta know what he did with the rest o me." Came the amused reply, followed briefly by a string of colourful curses as he found exactly what he'd landed upon.
"soddin goblins. Can't see what he wants with em." There was a huff, a gasp, and the dwarf thudded down to the left.
"Sometimes, neither can I. Apart from being a nuisance , they have no discernable talent."
"Da Kings ba-ack!" chorused the goblins, rushing to the center of the room.
"Did you bring anything?" asked one particularly brave goblin flying across the room to perch on a window. As if opening the flood gates, the goblins rushed out with questions.
"What's up dere lookin like?"
"Sweeties?!"
"Where you been?"
"Alki-hic!-hol!"
"Did ya see da girl again?"
"SILENCE!" Grumbling, Jareth paced the dais, rubbing the sides of his forehead, feeling the beginning of a terrible migraine. "I will tell you about my trip later, when and if I have the energy." Flopping into the throne, he threw his legs over the left arm. "I have other business. Leave."
The goblins looked at each other, stupidified.
"Do I have to use words of one syllable or less? Out!"
Grumbling slightly, the goblins left, one or two picking up chickens as they went, shedding feathers over the floor.
When he was satisfied they had gone, Jareth crept over to the door.
Opening it, he stepped back to avoid the falling tower of goblins.
"When I said out, I did not mean just outside the door!" His hands started on his hips, but as he gestured with his hands as he spoke, the volume of his voice rose in accordance with his hands. "Do none of you have anything better to do?"
Various goblins looked sheepish.
"Well, go rebuild the city then!"
Turning on his heel, the goblin king stalked back to his throne, settling down into it eventually.
For a while he stared off into space, as if contemplating some intangible decision that was just beyond his reach, seemingly forgetting about the trio that stood before him.
Until Sir Didymus coughed.
He blinked, immediately bringing his full attention to bear on them.
"Terribly dusty in here, is it not?" he beamed.
"It is lucky that you comment that fox." Jareth noted. "Otherwise I might believe that you were suggesting that I hurry up. Of course, you are not suggesting that are you?"
"Of course not sire!" Nodding his head, he tried to sweep his hat from his head without using the hands that were still tied to the barrel. "You are the very epitome of timing."
"I have decided," Jareth announced, ignoring the comment, "That as your punishment you each shall undertake a quest for the good of the kingdom. You will be free to use any resources you may find, but-" He held up an index finger, "You may not pass the quest to another creature. You must complete it on your own.
"You will have two months to complete your quests. I expect you to have each left by sundown this evening, and expect you back, in this room by the sunset of the last day."
Pacing, he declared "You each shall have a separate quest.
You there, orange creature!"
Ludo looked up. "Ludo!" he crooned in a deep bass.
"Yes, yes. You need to find a Dragon's tear.
"Sir Dittymule-"
"It's Didymus, sire."
"Dittymule; rebuilding and restoring the bridge above the bog is your task. Hoggle," He knelt down, beckoning with one finger. "You shall negotiate a treaty with the Fairy kingdom regarding their continual trespass into the labyrinth."
"Fairies?!" Hoggle spluttered. "You wants me to talk to them flittering balls o glitter and asks 'em not to come ere?"
Yikes! Hoggle has to go talk to the Fairies? He's not going to like that!
Chapter four is being typed up as I type here-or it will be. Hopefully I'll have it finished soon-computer problems have delayed the issue.
Hope everyone has a happy new year!