DISCLAMIER: I, unfortunately do not own anything. Everything belongs to the people who own it and they know who they are. So please, no sue!

This is a REPOST.I've edited this thing, changed some stuff, added things, deleted things, nothing to major…I just wanted to make John a bit older and to change the whole barn scene.

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Ch. 1

Major John Sheppard stood on the balcony nearest his room on Atlantis. He was hunched, his elbows resting on the railing. The setting sun reflecting time to time off the thin metal chain and pendant he held.

He set the pendant in the palm of his hand; it was a pink quartz heart, the top of which was encrusted in ornate silver, all on a thin chain that felt like ice sliding over his hand. He looked at the heart; a small smile emerged onto his face. He'd bought this as a birthday present when he was sixteen. He had never thought it would have been returned to him, a token of remembrance, of better times.

When he heard the doors behind him slide open he quickly readjusted his gaze, and enclosed the necklace in his fist. He turned his attention to the setting sun. The pinks that faded to orange, form orange to reds and purples and deep blues, and finally to black; reminded him of Earth. During the sunrises and sunsets he could momentarily, in his mind, place himself back on his home-world.

He stared into the cloudless black sky approaching the city. Pretending not to notice the body next to him, not to notice they were looking at his clenched fist.

"Are you angry Major?"

He replied without looking over, "Now what ever gave you that idea Teyla? I'm just…enjoying the sunset."

"Do you always watch such beauty with such angry hands?"

A quick frown passed over his face, darkening his eyes. 'It's only Teyla', he thought 'It's not like she'd run around and tell everyone.' He turned toward his alien friend, brought his hand between them, and slowly opened his fingers. "I didn't want to drop it." he lied. He didn't want to share. Didn't want to relive those times, not unless he could change them, and that was just impossible.

Teyla moved her tanned hands to pick it up. John's fingers instinctively moved to close over it, he caught himself and his palm remained facing upwards and flat. Teyla noticed the tremor, and put her hands on the railing, turning her body back to the sea. "Sorry." he said. She continued to watch him; his dark haired head was shifted down, towards the object in his hand.

"It is quite lovely." Her comment brought him back, he looked at her, smiled and returned to his earlier position, and fiddled with the necklace as he had been, "Did you love her very much?"

"Yes." Looking down into his hands he missed the look that crossed Teyla's features, "It was my sisters."

She smiled, "She gave it to you before you came to Atlantis?"

"Yeah." He said sadly. It was clear in his voice. Teyla thought it odd that he didn't try to hide it. Since she'd met him she had come to think of John Sheppard, a Major in the Untied States Air Force as a man well adept to hiding his true feelings. It was a good trait to posses when your missions, as theirs so often were, were to make first contact, and negotiate. He had told her once it was helpful in a card game called poker. He said that he rarely ever lost and would teach her some time, "Want to see her picture?"

Teyla thought it over. The Major was not always so open and willing to share, but she had always had a desire to know him better, to learn what had made him the leader he was. She wasn't about to let the opportunity slip. He looked at her expectantly; it almost seemed like sharing this one part of him would bring him some sort of solstice, "I would like that." She smiled.

He smiled back at her, rummaging through his pockets, "I had it laminated so it wouldn't get ruined…so I could have it with me when I went on missions." he finished sheepishly, pulling a small rectangular photo from a pocket.

"Laminated?"

"Oh, uh…you put paper between two really thin, well, what's important is that it keeps whatever is inside from getting torn, or dirty or something." He enjoyed explaining Earth things to her, unless it was an inopportune time, say during a fire fight.

She nodded her head in understanding, taking the photo from his hand, "Her names Renee."

"She is beautiful." It was a black and white photo; the girl in it had a smile very similar to Johns. Her elbows rested on a hidden table while her hands came together, allowing her chin to rest comfortably on them. Her hair was dark, with a slight curl to it, her eyes seemed big and hopeful, and they were probably brown. Her face was smooth and well shaped, Renee remarkably resembled her brother, "She…looks very similar to you." It was more a question than a comment. Teyla didn't understand how two people whose age was probably at least ten years apart could look so…exactly the same.

"Well her eyes are brown and my hair isn't at all curly, thank God. But, other than the obvious gender differences that was about it." He said, taking the photo back. At Teyla's look of confusion, he hesitated but continued on, "I'm a twin. That's her senior picture from high school."

"Major Sheppard, I was unaware you had a sister, much less a twin! Was the Ancient gene not strong in her? Is that why she did not come through to this galaxy as well?"

"Not exactly."

"Dr. Weir has told me that everyone who came here did so voluntarily. Was she unwilling to leave?"

"No. No, she wasn't selfish or…."he trailed off, he could hear the anger in his voice, feel it swelling in his gut. Maybe this was a mistake; maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. He closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath of sea air, and continued, calmer, "It wasn't an option for her. She never knew about the program."

A silence passed between them. His eyes remained closed, trying desperately to hear words of comfort from an imagined image of his sister. Teyla didn't know what to say next, she clearly didn't understand why they would not tell his sister, surly she would have been as well adept to use the gene as he, but she also knew that on his world knowledge of the Stargate was not granted to all.

John wanted to continue, he wanted to talk about her, wanted someone new to know about her, and be sorry she wasn't there. He wanted someone to be sorry for him, as bad as it sounded; he wanted someone to know the pain he felt at her absence.

"It is getting dark. Perhaps you would like to tell me of her over tea?"

"What?" he wasn't prepared for such a straight forward request of knowledge.

"It is clear you love her very much, and that she holds importance to you. I would like to know of her."

He smiled slightly to his teammate, "Yeah, thanks."

They walked quietly to Teyla's quarters; John placed the photo back in his pocket, but kept the necklace in his hand. Teyla wondered as to what had transpired between John and his sister before he left, to make him miss her so much, more than he seemed to miss any of his other family. She doubted he could produce a photo of his mother and father from his pockets as well. Perhaps they had fought over his decision to leave, maybe she was hurt he couldn't tell her where he was going, or when he'd be back. From the little she'd heard so far it seemed they were close, they were twins after all, aren't they supposed to have a certain affinity for one another? Teyla glanced at the man next to her, trying to catch his hazel eyes, for only a moment, and to read them.

John looked straight ahead, the hall seemed quiet. There was only his heavy tread and the distant murmurs of a conversation he couldn't care less about, he was contemplating what to do. Yes, he wanted to talk to Teyla, wanted her to know. He thought about the bronze skinned Athosian and how she'd so readily showed him scenes from her planets tortured past. How she'd confided in him time and again, he thought about how he trusted her with his life, why couldn't he trust her with stories of his childhood? He had no doubt that if he asked she'd tell him nearly anything he'd want to know about her childhood, about how it was for her to grow up with the threat of the Wraith. If anything she'd be able to relate to some of the loss he'd felt as a child, and as he grew older.

He supposed more than anything, what he really wanted was someone to confide in. A person he could go to with anything, and they would listen. He smiled, he could probably have that with her, at that moment, though it wasn't the first, he wanted to wrap his arms a round her in bear hug, lifting her, spinning her, and tell her thanks. He wanted to shout the very tips of Atlantis how grateful he was of her companionship.

But he'd settle for tea, and tales of his life. What better way to show gratitude that to tell her something no one else knew?