Summary: Set in season 10, after Carter broke up with her. He didn't return with Kem (I just didn't want to deal with her), but he did pay for Abby's tuition fees.

Coffee and Sweet Apple Pie

If there was one thing Abby hated it was lukewarm, tasteless coffee and yet sat in St Johns church hall she was supping it down like her life depended on it. Somehow before arriving she had convinced herself she was going to share tonight.

"You'll be wonderful." A voice whispered into her right ear.

"I don't think you're supposed to be wonderful when you share." Nodding her head towards the current speaker, Abby continued. "You think he wants to be wonderful?"

The lady in front of them turned around and shushed them, thus ending any further comments and giving Abby the opportunity to try and order her thoughts. Tonight wasn't her first time sharing, a lifetime ago she had done so on many occasions; but tonight would be the first time since she'd turned her life around. Tonight she wanted people to look up at her and be proud of what she had achieved.

Shelley, her current sponsor, reached across and squeezed Abby's hand. The last speaker was wrapping up his comments and now it was Abby's turn to talk. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and stood up, intending to make it to the front without having to look at anyone.

It was as she turned round on stage that she saw him. He was stood at the back, his eyes boring intensely into hers. She was stunned, couldn't think, all she could do was stare back at the man so closely watching her. He finally smiled at her and then nodded, communicating that she could do it. Abby knew she could do it, she just hadn't factored in his guest appearance. She managed to return a smile, though it was somewhat muted by her nerves. She tucked her hair behind her ears and began to speak.

"Hello, my names Abby and I'm an alcoholic." Abby waited for their reply and began, her voice, surprising her, was strong and clear. "I've been sober for a year, but before that it was almost six. I had a bit of a breakdown and thought I could control it; and for nine months I thought I had. It had started on my birthday, a day only my mother remembered and a day where everything went wrong. So by the end of it, a friendly face at home offering me a beer was all it took for me to blow everything away.

'That's how it started a beer here, one after work, two to be sociable, four to have a good time and over half a dozen to mourn the death of a friend. I thought I had it under control; I even went to a few meetings to prove it. But I was lying to myself and it took someone very important to me to make me realize." Abby paused momentarily to lock eyes with the man stood at the back. He already knew of all of this. Of course he did, he was the one who had helped her through it. He gave her an encouraging smile and the will to continue.

"He was my rock, my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him. That year was very tough for both of us and we lost ourselves along the way, but he still gave me hope and the last time I drank. I didn't care who I hurt, because I was hurting and I just wanted to numb it all. Yet he was there standing strong for me. That was the last time I drank and despite a few temptations I've managed to stay clean." She paused again, this time not to look at the man, but to reassess her train of speech.

"I'm now on my way to finishing the one dream I've always had. I have one man to thank for that. He showed me that I only have myself to depend on. That if I'm to get anywhere I need to figure things out on my own. I need to grow and in order to do that I have to do it alone." Abby caught his eye and smiled, over the last few months they had come to point where there was no surface animosity. "And here I am a year later, a year sober and three months away from fulfilling that dream."

Abby nodded to the speaker that she was done and walked back to her seat. Eager for the meeting to finish so she could finish explaining what she's just started.

"Hey, Carter." Abby said, as she approached him after the meeting. Abby fiddled with her hair, she wanted to ask him for coffee, but wasn't sure if he would want to.

"You did well up there."

"Thanks."

Her eyes watched his feet shuffle nervously. "What you said… Abby? Do you want to go for coffee?"

Her face fleetingly brightened up in relief. Nodding her agreement, they silently agreed to leave the bustling room and find somewhere quieter.

"Where'd you find this place?" This place was a quaint, privately owned English tea room, which served the best bagels in Chicago.

"I live just around the corner."

"Oh," Abby nodded, rather surprised at the location he had apparently chosen as his home. It wasn't that it was a bad neighbourhood, she'd just imagined him to have moved somewhere in the "burbs", with the traditional white picket fence.

The waitress came over and took their order, Carter opted for a black coffee, Abby, however, was in the mood to splurge. "You sure you don't want one?"

"Positive." He grinned. "Nice speech you gave."

"I thought I was due." She shrugged it off.

"It was slightly inaccurate."

"How so?" Her eyes narrowed questioningly

"You were never on your own." He looked intensely at her. "Everybody who knows you supports you."

"Maggie doesn't know." Abby was always one to play devils advocate. "And I didn't tell a soul what I was planning."

"Oh," Carter was only slightly stumped at Abby's mini revelation. "Maggie doesn't know anything?"

"Well she knows you broke up with me, and she knows that I wanted to turn my life around. But I haven't seen her since last June."

"That's not an excuse."

"I didn't want to jinx it."

Carter was confused. "Why would she jinx it?"

The waitress took that moment to bring over their coffees creating a welcoming break for Abby. Not that it lasted long, the milk barely coloured the blackness of the coffee before Carter asked her again.

"Abby? What do you mean by jinxing it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Please."

"John, we're friends. Right?" He nodded. "Friends don't push."

"Real friends do."

"Like you pushed me before?"

John sighed, "Are you ever going to let that go?"

"I'm sorry. I have, it's gone." She mimicked the action with a flurry of hand movements.

He took a sip of his coffee, taking the time to watch her. He was so proud of her, he just had a niggling worry of doubt, if Abby hadn't told Maggie about a great thing happening in her life, what wasn't she telling the rest of her friends?

"So are you going to tell me?" He asked for the third time.

She started to play with her hair nervously, he knew most of it anyway and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out the rest. She was just embarrassed that once again her family was getting in the way of her progress. "Okay. Maggie, represents everything bad in my life. Every time something good happened to me she'd be there. Either her presence hanging over me or she'd be having some kind of manic episode. It's just easier if she doesn't know."

"And that's it?"

"Isn't that enough?" She asked defensively.

"If you're moving forward with your life shouldn't you include your family?"

"You don't understand. I'm not running away from them." She let the implications of those words hang in the air. "I'm just sorting out my life, whilst they sort out theirs." She looked into his eyes. "I don't want to be on hold anymore."

"You mean that?" She nodded, he leant over and squeezed her hand. "That's all I ever wanted to hear."

"This." She gestured to their now entwined hands. "It doesn't mean that we're okay."

"I know."

"It could mean something." She ventured hoping to test the waters. "But I can't let what happened last year happen again. I know I was to blame for a lot it, but you hurt me too."

The waitress interrupted them again with their dessert. Abby looked up and asked "Can we get another fork please." The waitress was quick to comply, leaving them alone again.

"Dig in" Abby told him, both knowing it was going to be a long a night of revelations ahead of them.

Authors Notes: This was my attempt for the Feb OCOH challenge. Let me know if you enjoyed!