(fall)
Can you feel the change in the air?
I think you can; you always snuggle closer, drawing our bodies together to keep warm. Sometimes, you're so close I can feel your lips forming the words you whisper against my skin. "I love you."
I asked you, once, why you only say it after we've made love. You told me it seemed wrong to say it any other time; wrong to tell me when I was a woman and being false to myself. When we are in bed together, you said quietly, I am who I was meant to be.
You run your fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my face as your mouth claims mine, tongues twining together in a beautiful ballet. Your kisses are intoxicating; have I ever told you? You treat me the way I wish he would; yet I only want this from you. He could never be gentle; it would be wrong for him to treat me like this.
This evening, we stay curled together, I with my head rested on your chest, listening to the steady beat of your heart. You're stroking my hair; whispering promises of our future, and I can feel my heart breaking. My future is already mapped out for me, and it doesn't include you. I know it's only a matter of time before this will end; he's starting to wonder where I go every night…
I love coming to see you; you make me good. It's as if you purify me from inside out; you wash the blood from my hands. You don't know this, of course, and you never will, but it's a comfort just being with you here. I know what I do is wrong.
Maybe it's not the air.
Maybe it's a change in me.