Miroku-Mon

Gotta Feel 'Em All Up!

Chapter 1

17th Birthday

(( Authors Note: Konnichiwa ya'll! xD I hope you like this Pokemon-Inuyasha parody. I was with me friend on the phone, and we were joking about Fanfictions that I should write. We came up with things like"Sesshie-Mon; Gotta Bish 'em All" and "Jaken-Mon; Gotta Be a Dork!'...Things of that nature. xD My friend, Who shall be called 'No Name', said"Miroku-Mon; Gotta Fell 'Em All Up" and I just burst out laughing, 'cause it was just pretty funny at the time. No Name and I just laugh at everything. o.o Heh, well, I hope you enjoy this! P.S. : This takes place in the present time, just to let you know. xD ))

Miroku woke up one morning by the sound of his alarm clock ringing. He did his usual rutine; Yawn, scratch, stretch, and turn off that damn alarm. But this time, Miroku didn't turn off the alarm and fall back into a deep sleep this Saturday morning. It, in fact, was his 17th birthday, and he decided he'd get off his lazy behind and get a Pokemon for two reasons. Number one, to pick up more girls, and number two, because he was getting quite lonely. He, after all, had no girlfriend, and lived alone... With his foster-father. His father had died when he was really little, about five... And he was never really told how. His mother, he never really remembered. He decided that she either died at birth, or she was killed at about the same time his father was... maybe even the same way.

Anyways, his foster-father's name is Mushin, and he was one drunkard of a preist. He was pretty overweight, too. He had one Pokemon which name is Hachi, a raccoon Raichu, which unbelievably could talk! Hachi was pretty strange. Mushin had somehow taught him 'Transform', so Hachi could be pretty much anything at any time... That's why Miroku had to take care in what women he'd ask to bear his children... Afterall, that's what he did in his spare time... Which he had a lot of.

Miroku got out of bet, got dressed in his usual clothing given to him by Mushin; A purple and black monk's outfit.

Miroku hated it, and decided when he got his first Pokemon, he'd challenge a bunch of people to fight and get their money for the prize. Or, he'd pretend he was a full fledged monk, and con some people out of their money... Which was always the last choice.

"Master Miroku" Hachi said, stopping him on his way out the door. "Why are you up so early? On a Saturday, too? Are you planning on going somewhere?"

"Yes, Hachi, I am going somewhere," Miroku said, turning around to the raccoon Raichu. "I'm going to go to Elm-Sama's lab, get a Pokemon, and go win some fights for some money. Then, I'm going to buy new clothes. And after that..." Miroku grinned at Hachi's surprised look. "...I'm going all over Johto- To pick up girls!" He started to laugh a rich, joking laugh.

"No-no-no, Master Miroku, you can't do that!" Hachi shook his head with a sigh at Miroku's last comment. "I'm afraid that Master Elm only gives Pokemon out this day to new, ten-year-old trainers, wishing to become the Master Trainer! Not to some lazy seventeen-year-old, who is just going to get a Pokemon to pick up pretty girls and make money. If you are going to do that, Master, go catch one yourself."

"Oh" Miroku sighed with a grin. "Well, I am happy that you mentioned my seventeenth birthday. Thank you, Hachi."

"Grr," Hachi sighed. "You are just going to make a fool out of yourself! Don't! People, including pretty ladies..." Hachi used that for an example that his master wouldn't resist. "...will think you are messed up, getting a Pokemon before a little child! Sick!"

"Well, thanks for your luck, Hachi." Miroku said sarcastically, opening and closing the door on Hachi's face.

Hachi growled, stomped his foot, then walked to Miroku's room. "Well," Hachi grinned. "If Miroku is leaving, I guess this makes this my room now!" He jumped on the newly made bed, falling quickly asleep.

Miroku was walking down the street of New Bark Town, when he saw Elm-Sama's labratory. There was a large crowd, mothers and fathers, young and old, with their ten-year-old children, hoping to impress a Pokemon to claim their own. Miroku approached a pretty woman outside the fence with her two friends. They were all fairly young, maybe about twenty to twenty six years old, and they were laughing and pointing at the long line of children.

Miroku grinned and walked up to, what he saw, as the prettest one in the small group. She was wearing a pink dress that complimented her small, slim body. Her hair was long and blonde, and she was wearing a large, blue straw hat with a little, fake pink daisy on the corner- which was tied to a purple flowered ribbon. She was wearing cute, pink sandles.

"Hello, there," Miroku grinned to the group of women. The one who he thought to himself as 'Pretty in Pink' laughed with a pretty, smooth voice.

"Hey," The girl laughed at Miroku, and turned to giggle with her two friends. Miroku sighed, thinking that they were laughing at his Monk's outfit.

One of her friends looked to be a researcher, computer worker... Something in that field. She had short black hair with red glasses, and a white blouse with a green shirt over it. She had a short, black skirt and complimented her sides neatly. She had brown sandles on with green painted toe-nails. Her other friend was a blue haired beauty, but not as pretty as the so-called, 'Pretty in Pink'. She was wearing a Chinese-styled blue dress with purple flowers as decoration on the dress. The lining on the dress was black, as was her bandana she was wearing in a cute, original fashion. Her hair, like I described, was straight, blue, and had a nice shine with it.

"So," Miroku smiled. "You're becoming a Pokemon trainer?" He knew that there would be people his age and older becoming a Pokemon trainer. Hachi was wrong, for once! Miroku couldn't help but laugh to himself inside of his head at that. Hachi, wrong. That was good.

"No, silly." The blue haired one laughed. "Are you?" She asked her computer-ish friend.

"Nope, and I think you would know that. Are you, Sora?" The computer-ish girl asked the 'Pretty in Pink' woman, obviously named Sora. Sora... What a pretty name.

"Ha... no. Good one, Mirai. I was the one who invited you!" She laughed to the computer girl named 'Mirai'. She turned back to Miroku. "I'm here with my son. He wants to be the Pokemon Master! Isn't that cute?"

"You have a son?" Miroku asked, in awe. "Do all of you?"

"No" Mirai shook her head. "I have a daughter. If Sora's son impresses a Pokemon, he said that he'd take my daughter along with him! Cute, huh."

"And I have twins," The blue haired one nodded. "Both sons."

"Oh, right," Mirai turned to the blue haired one. "Know what, Ashita?"

"What?" Ashita, the blue haired one asked.

"Mai said the cutest thing" Mirai laughed about this 'Mai'. Miroku guessed it was her daughter. "She said that she has a crush on your Dash!"

"Aw," Ashita laughed. "Adorable!"

"I know!" Mirai laughed.

'Dash? Mai? Geez, if I was the one who had helped them bear children, I'd think of much better names...' Miroku thought to himself with a sigh.

"So, you didn't answer. You have any kids?" Sora asked Miroku, smiling.

"Uh, yeah, he's inside right now. I'd better go...Um... Check on him. Right, see you all..." Miroku waved to them, faking a smile, as he walked down the line, cutting through the children, all the way into Elm-Sama's labratory.

A little girl, maybe about six, was with her older brother, Miroku knew he had to be ten, who was trying to impress a Cyndiquil.

The Cyndiquil neverroused from its nap, though the boy was petting it and trying to offer it food, hoping to impress it. This was the new 'thing' that Elm wanted the children to do to get Pokemon now. He could only get one Pokemon egg a year, one of each of the three main; Cyndiquil, Chikorita, and Totodile. And there were so many ten year olds signing up to get one of the Pokemon, he couldn't simply choose the trainers. There were hundreds, and only three Pokemon!

The little boy sighed, as his turn was up. His little sister started to cry, wanting her older brother to impress the Cyndiquil, so the boy had to try and cheer her up outside.

"Hey, Elm-Sama," Miroku said, taking the next turn. "I would like to have one of these little guys."

"Excuse me," Professor Elm pushed his glasses up. "But how old are you? This is for ten year olds, wanting to get their Pokemon licence." Those were Elm's key words in that sentence.

"Yeah, well, too bad. It's my seventeenth birthday, and I would like to get a Pokemon. Seven years ago, I didn't care for Pokemon. I do a little more now. So, I wanna buy one off of you."

"You can't jusy buy one! You have to impress them! I bet you wouldn't have enough money to buy one, anyways! So why don't you just get off your lazy butt and go catch one" Elm sighed, shaking his head. "Oh, and happy birthday." He added, sarcastically.

"Thanks," Miroku said, taking out his wallet in one of the pouches in his outfit. "How much you want for one?"

"More that you could pay. You're probably broke..." Elm sighed. "If it will humor you, to buy one, it will be... Well..."

Miroku pulled out money, Canadian money. "Um, hundred dollars fine?"

"Why don't you go buy some store candy with that," Elm shot back, thinking that Miroku had meant one hundred yen. One hundred yen wasn't much.

"Heh, the stores won't accept my currancy..." Miroku pulled out more money. "One thousand Canadian?"

"Canadian!" Elm gasped. "I thought you were talking about Yen. Sure, if it's real Canadian." Elm grabbed Miroku's money, looked it over and raised his eyebrows. "Take one."

"I'll take..." Miroku poked a Pokeball, and it moved a bit, then opened. A Chikorita popped out, sleeping. "...Well, not this one." He poked another, and a Totodile came out. The Totodile was sleeping, but when Miroku wanted to feel its texture, as he never had felt a Totodile before, it open it's eyes.

"Oh," Elm gasped. "You impressed it! ..Though I don't know how, with that Monk outfit and all... But, well, you did. I can't keep your money now." Elm sighed at that idea, as he was stroking the Canadian currency.

"Go ahead!" Miroku laughed, picking up the Totodile. It squealed happily. "The stores here don't accept Canadian money!"

"Oh," Elm sighed. "I guess I should have listened to that comment you made. Well, go. It's the next kid's turn. And good luck."

"Why, thank you." Miroku grinned.

"Not to you," Elm shook his head. "To the Totodile, for having you as its Master."

"Oh..." Miroku laughed, and left the labratory to go back to his house to go show off to Mushin's raccoon Raichu. Hachi would be so... Disturbed. Ha! Hachi, disturbed. That's even better than him being wrong. Wait, Hachi's always disturbed, so... Nothing new there. Miroku laughed at that idea.

"Hey!" A little boy said to his twin brother. Miroku noticed that it must be Ashita's sons. "He got the Totodile! And look how old he is." Both boys looked exactly the same, and Miroku decided that they were identical twins. They had blue-ish, purple hair and were wearing a green shirt with brown shorts... Also accompanied by little orange sneakers.

There was a girl behind them that looked a lot like Mirai, but with long black hair. She had blue glasses, and was wearing a pink shirt and a bright yellow skirt. She also was wearing sneakers, but they were green.

Behind that girl, was (Miroku was positive) Sora's son. He had the same orange hair, eyes, and was small like her. His hair was long, in a high pony tail, and was wearing a black sweater with green shorts. He had blue sneakers to accompany that, and he gave Miroku a dirty look when he had walked by.

Miroku, trying to ignore the fact that many little ten year olds were staring angrily and pointing at him, and the other fact that their parents were whispering at each other when he had walked past them, he ran home with the little Totodile in his arms. When he walked into the door and into his room to examine his new Pokemon, he found Hachi fast asleep on his bed.

"Damn you, Hachi!" Miroku pushed Hachi off the bed, making him wake up when he hit the ground.

"What the.. Oh! You were serious..." Hachi exclaimed, pointing at the little Totodile in Miroku's hands.

"Yes, Hachi. I am now wondering why you don't take me seriously..." Miroku grinned.

"Ah! I have a reason, you know" Hachi growled. "You flirt with too many woman! You know I had to transform into a pretty woman several times to get back at you, and - oops..."

"I knew it! Hah, I knew it" Miroku pointed his finger in Hachi's face. "And I never fell for it! That's because I knewwww ittt!"

"Agh, you're right..." Hachi sighed. "Anyways, what are you going to name that little guy? Are you even going to? Some people don't."

"I'm not sure, is it a boy, or a girl, Hachi? I can't tell..." Miroku blinked. "And I don't think I want to look..."

"It's a boy," Hachi said. "And you don't have to look. It's usually by the color of their fur, or scales, in this case. Male's is usually a tint darker."

"Does he have a name in store? Ask him."

"All right, I'll ask him telepathically. Us Pokemon can talk to each other that way. But, we don't usually," Hachi bragged, in a matter-of-fact sort of way.

"Uh-huh," Miroku sighed and nodded. "Ask."

"Okay, I am! I am!" Hachi sighed.

There was a moment of silence, until Hachi reported to Miroku what the little guy said telepathically. "He said his name is 'Touro'."

"'Touro'?" Miroku repeated in a question to the little Totodile. It nodded, and jumped out of Miroku's arms. It seemed to squeal something, but Miroku looked to Hachi to translate.

"Uh, he said... 'Is this raccoon yours too, or are there others? Am I the only one?'" Hachi translated, then he turned to the Totodile. "No, I'm not his, I am his father's-"

Miroku quickly interupted with a correction, "-Foster-father's..."

"Right," Hachi sighed. "I am Master Miroku's foster-father's Raichu. And my name is Hachi, Touro."

The Totodile gave Hachi a weird look, mumbled something in the Pokemon language under his breathe, loud enough for Hachi's ears to pick up (Hachi gave a surprised look, and mumbled, "Damn, for a young'un, he's got some bad language!'), then grinned with his sharp, pearly white teeth happily at his new master, Miroku. Miroku grinned. He and Touro would get along fine! And the next morning, they'd set off to the next village to start their journey.