HOT WAX

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, and if I had any brains, I probably wouldn't even admit to having written this fic.

The premise for this one is simple: the idea is that all of the Saitou-Sano lemons ever written are simultaneously true in the RK universe. I've written this second chapter as a response to the Sour Lemon challenge that was issued on the RK Bad Boys list.

If you've written a Saitou-Sano fic... don't think of this as parody, think of it as an homage.

Sanosuke regained consciousness slowly, his eyes fluttering open below long, dark lashes that were the envy of every woman who knew him. Even Jou-chan. He was naked. His arms ached. When he tried to move them, he realized that his wrists were bound together: he was tied, spread-eagle, to the top of someone's desk.

Sano yelped, writhing as droplets of liquid, excruciatingly hot, splattered over his testicles and clung, lightly burning the sensitive skin. It took him a moment to remember where he was – Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department headquarters. More specifically, he was in Saitou Hajime's office.

Today was Sano's birthday, and life was good.

"Again," he moaned sensuously.

The blue-clad cop was standing behind the desk, looming over Sano, a stubby lit candle in one white-gloved hand. The ex-Shinsengumi tipped the candle, a precise movement, and the exquisite searing sensation that resulted made Sanosuke's erection twitch with excitement. "Like that?" the Wolf of Mibu smirked.

"Hai, demo…" Sano hesitated. "…ano… Saitou… when do watashi get to be seme?"

Saitou smirked with irritation. "Stop mixing Japanese and English, ahou. The readers don't speak Japanese. Yes, all of them know that 'hai' means 'yes' and 'watashi' means 'I'. Some of them know that 'ano' means 'ummmm.' And a few of them probably even know that 'demo' means 'but'." Saitou paused to lubricate one of his fingers and insert it roughly into Sanosuke's ass. "But only the perverts will know that 'seme' refers to the top in a dominant-submissive relationship."

"Demo, Saitou…" Sano grunted as Saitou performed the yaoi ritual of preparation for anal sex: first one finger, then two, then three. "…dare is going to read this besides the hentai?"

"You're such an ahou, ahou." Saitou growled.

Sano considered this statement and decided that it meant: I love you, Sanosuke, you brighten up the dark corners of my soul. Keep doing exactly what you're doing right now.

Sano was about to ask Saitou to hayaku up, but just then the door opened. It was the Broomhead.

"I told you not to disturb me when I'm questioning a witness," Saitou snapped as he removed his fingers and penetrated Sano with his massive cock, eliciting a wild moan from the boy.

"Sorry, Boss," Chou replied. "Thought you ought to know that Shishio has escaped from the maximum security prison in Kyoto." The blonde paused, and gave Sano a deliberate once-over. "Nice legs, Roosterhead."

"Stuff it, Broomhead," Sano retorted, but his heart wasn't really in the exchange. He couldn't tear his gaze away from Saitou. Those eyes –- they were the color of that really old yellowish stone, the stuff they sold at the marketplace with unfortunate insects trapped inside.

Sano was so lost in his musings that he didn't even hear the door close. Saitou had begun to move inside him, and the gentle movement awoke a pleasure in Sano that was both familiar and new every time. Sano and Saitou had had many such encounters, some loving and tender, others sadistically violent. And in many of those encounters, Sano had been a virgin.

Can that be right? Sano wondered. He sighed. Maybe the word "virgin" doesn't mean what I thought it meant.

Saitou began to thrust faster, cooing endearments, which Sano found it unnerving. He loved Saitou, but sometimes their encounters were…odd. The things that Sano found himself saying and doing, Saitou's frequent out-of-character behaviors –- for some reason, once they were in bed together, the two of them acted the way a woman might imagine that two gay men would behave during sex.

Sano sighed again. He found Saitou's uncharacteristic tenderness disturbing, but at least his sometime-lover and occasional life-partner was still smirking. Sano trailed his hand along the ex-Shinsengumi's collarbone. "Remember the first time we met?"

"You mean at the Kamiya dojo? When I stabbed you?"

Sano nodded. "I get hard every time I think about it."

Saitou's smirk got smirkier. "And you wonder why you're always on the bottom."

"The first thing you said to me was, 'hello.'"

Saitou's eyes narrowed to slits. "And you made fun of my squinty eyes…" He slapped Sano on the ass, hard enough to make the young fighter gasp with painful pleasure. "You really ought to stop reminding me of that, ahou."

Sano could tell that Saitou was close to climaxing, but he was holding back for some reason. And now that he thought about it, the cop's ki had a haunted feeling to it, almost sorrowful.

"Dooshite, Koishi?" Sano asked, knowing that the Wolf hated it when Sano addressed him with sappy endearments. Saitou always said that it made him feel like he was "the girl" in the relationship.

"Tokio left me again," Saitou moaned in melancholy ecstasy.

Sano blinked, his surprise at the statement distracting him from his own impending orgasm. "I thought you said she was dead?"

"She is," Saitou replied, reaching between their sweat-slicked bodies to stroke Sano's throbbing cock. "But her ghost hangs around the house a lot. Or it used to. Until last night." The Wolf of Mibu groaned and kissed Sano viciously, causing the younger man to explode all over Saitou's chest and stomach.

"I think she's haunting someone else now."

Sano gasped as Saitou growled and lost control, spilling his seed into Sano's tight, hot asshole. "Sweetie-pie," the Wolf whispered into Sano's ear, the warmth of his breath causing Sano to shiver with arousal, in spite of his recent orgasm.

Later, as they lay curled up together on Saitou's desk, Sano found himself unable to sleep. "Saitou," he whispered. "Are you awake?"

"I am now, ahou." Saitou kissed the back of his neck. "What?"

"I was just thinking…" Sano began. "You're a famous samurai turned cop and I'm a cocky loser with a gambling problem and a heart of gold." Sano rolled over so he could stare deeply and longingly into Saitou's eyes. "But what if things were different? If this were an alternate universe, you could be a high school teacher and I could be one of your students…

You could be the editor of a newspaper, and I could be one of your employees…

You could be a vampire, and I could be one of your victims…

You could be a wise but demanding Jedi master, and I could be your apprentice…"

"Sanosuke," Saitou broke in, his eyes gleaming with brutal affection. "If you wanted to act out one of your fantasies, why didn't you just say so?"

Thanks to hajimenokizu, Sosoru, Sensoo, L. Sith, Lady Lu Bu, sora7, Mary-Ann, Kenta Divina, kamorgana, and Firuze for your kind words of encouragement!