A one-shot crossover by Aisling Niamh
A/N: I have done something I swore I never would do: I have written a crossover fic. I don't think I'm selling out too badly, though… It just sort of came to me, and was written as a plunger fic, as I've got a mean bout of writer's block on another one of my stories.
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Alice was a rather unusual child. She quite frightened and disturbed her parents. For instance, she refused to eat buttered bread but always ate buttered cheese, and yet she never seemed to gain weight. She also enjoyed eating lima beans, leeks, and liver. You see, she had simply never been entirely right since the Incident with the Rabbit.
One day Alice was sleeping with her feet on her pillow as usual, when she began to dream. It was not unusual, as she had many peculiar dreams, but they usually involved such things as floating down staircases and playing chess. This one involved trees.
So then, she was lying on her back in a rather prickly bush in a grove filled with trees. And sunlight. And absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.
How very strange.
But then something shiny caught her eye. Looking in that direction, she noticed the shiny belonged to a man, and was in fact the sunlight glinting off of his hair. Oh, what a heartening sight! His ears were pointed! At least something about this dream was normal.
It was then that the Pointy-Eared Man noticed Alice. "Oh, no," he groaned. "Another one."
Alice sat upright, smoothed her white nightdress and shawl, and pulled a few sticks out of her hair. "Another what, if you please, Mr. Pointy-Eared Man?"
The man looked successfully startled, and a bit disturbed. "They just get younger every day. Your name doesn't happen to end in '-wen', does it?"
"Sorry, no. I'm Alice, you see."
"I see. Then am I supposed to run to your aid, save you from imminent death at the hands of uruk-hai, and bind all your various minor wounds and scratches?"
"Not that I know of, sir."
"Hmm. Am I therefore supposed to fall desperately in love with you and carry you off to my father's palace, where we shall immediately have a fairy-tale wedding?"
"Certainly not!"
"Travel with the Fellowship, and then fall in love with you? Or perhaps carry you off to some battle where you will single-handedly save all of Middle Earth?"
"Where on earth do you get these ideas? Well, if you'll pardon me saying so, I mean."
"Of course I pardon your saying so, young one. What I'd like to know then is, if we're not supposed to do any of those things, then why are you lying flat on your back in a bush with all the appearances of being injured, wearing peculiar clothing, and why do all these things so conveniently happen when I am out hunting if you are not, in fact, a Mary Sue?"
"As I said, my name is Alice. These things just seem to happen to me frequently, you see. Don't worry, I'll wake up and be gone sooner or later. I'm afraid I never have been quite the same since the Incident with the Rabbit, you know."
"The which with the what?"
"It is entirely too complicated to recite here. But if I just lay here and fall asleep, usually I go back. Don't worry!"
The man scratched his dark blonde head. "And you aren't even going to say, 'You look nothing like you do in the movies?'"
Alice stretched out her legs and stood up. "Movies?"
"Hmm. This is a nice change," the man said. "My name is Legolas. Are you sure you don't want anything at all?"
"Well, other than a new doll and a coral ring and a pretty pink dress, nothing, thank you, Mr. Legolas. I certainly wouldn't dream of asking somebody I've just met for anything."
"A very nice change indeed."
"The only thing I'd really like is to go back to my own bed. It's very boring, I know, but I am very, very tired of having adventures, Mr. Legolas. So if you don't mind, I think I'll just go back to sleep."
"Of course," Legolas said, smiling down at the authoritative child as she began trying to climb back into the rather uncomfortable bush. "Just a minute, and I'll lay my cloak down on top of the bush so you don't get prickles in your hair again."
"Thank you very much, Mr. Legolas."
"Thank you too," Legolas muttered to whatever Powers That Be might be listening.
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When Alice awoke to the morning light, she said, as always, "What a peculiar dream that was! And what a peculiar man! He had such strange ideas, but he was very kind, at least. He didn't even turn into anything else or get suddenly angry. But look at this! My head is at the headboard. How very peculiar. And where did this blanket come from? Oh dear! I've kept Mr. Legolas's cloak!"
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Legolas had watched over the little girl (in case of spiders) until she had inexplicably disappeared in a sort of ripple effect.
"What an unusual child," he mused.
"Prince Legolas!"
Legolas turned around to see one of his friends running towards him.
"The entire hunting party lost you! We were greatly afraid that it was one of…." He lowered his voice considerably. "…one of them."
"No, luckily it was not. It was just a little human girl."
"A human girl!" The other elf's eyes went wide.
"No, no, a very young one, I would say only about nine or ten years old. She seemed never to have heard of us at all. She disappeared, but I'm afraid she took my cloak with her."
"But not a threat?"
"No, not at all."
"Very strange."
"Indeed."
And the two elves ran back to the hunting party.
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A/N: Hopefully, it was semi-enjoyable. I have no idea how I got the idea…
-Aisling Niamh