The owl flies in through the only window located in my private study, dropping a letter on my desk before flying back out again
I simply stare at it for a few minutes, recognizing the handwriting but not really wishing to open up the letter and see what they'd written to me
I finally cave, of course, and opened it with the care I use when I receive Christmas presents, really slow and deliberate. As I pull the note out, I already know I won't listen to whatever it is he has to say
I began to read it, my heart pounding a little faster then usual, interested to see what he has to say for himself...even though I am still resolved on not listening to him
Dear Professor Snape,
I know that what I did was wrong, and I'm really sorry. I feel terrible, and I'm sure that makes you smile, and it should...because you never cared about how I felt before, so why start now? Especially after it all.
I never meant to hurt you...but I have and it's killing me. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I thought you needed to know that I'm sorry and I'm paying for it. Whatever actions you take against me for it, I will accept, because I deserve it
I'm not really sure what else I can say...I can't even give you a good explanation for why I did it..if I ever can, though, I'll make sure to tell you
I'm
sorry,
Harry
Potter
I growl, crumpling the letter up and leaving it on my desk. The child thinks he can apologize without giving me a reason for what he did? What he did deserves more then a simple "I'm sorry, Professor"! We had started regarding each other on friendly terms...not friends, per say, but friendly at least
But he's thrown that out the proverbial window with this little stunt of his. It hurts me that he would think he had to do something like that. I know I'm not the most open man, but if he had just given me some time...
Another owl interrupts my thoughts. I glare at it until it's out the window and far out of seeing range. I look down at the new letter and sigh, opening it up
Professor,
I know you're upset with me, but you being mad at me is hurting me more then anything else ever has, or probably ever could. I want you to know this. Why? I'm not sure...maybe because I hate that I've lost your respect because of one moment of weakness.
I
am weak
We
both know this, and I'm willing to admit it
Please,
take my show of weakness in my favor...I can't stand this pain
Truly,
Harry
I crumple this one, just as the last one, and throw it into the air before shooting a ball of fire at it from my very palm. It's a trick no one but Albus knows about, and I wish to keep it that way. Wandless magic is a tricky business to deal with...you have to report your ability to the Ministry, and I can't risk that. Burning the first letter relieved enough stress to drive me to burn the second one, as well
Yes, his admitting his weakness makes me happier to a degree...at least I know he's in a self-loathing state
The next letter doesn't take long at all to arrive...but it merely says two words
I'm sorry
I guess he's getting better...not trying to talk his way out of something that he can't even begin to
And the next: iI'm sorry/i
They keep coming after that...almost a constant wave of letter after letter...I try to read them all, to see if he has anything better to say
I'm sorry
iI'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I scream in frustration as more, even after all those, arrive. I don't have to open them to know what they'll say...the same two words, over and over, just lying there smothering my desk. It seems that the more I clear off, the more that come
It's like an onslaught and I attempt to hold my own, reading all the ones that come to me...only to see the same two words: iI'm sorry/i
I'm tearing through all the letters, not knowing if I'm searching for something or merely doing it because I can't leave things unresolved...and unopened letters are certainly unresolved, if you ask me
As I'm tearing through, reading them quickly, I suddenly stop
There are no more letters. No more to read through
The strange part is that I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I slump back in my chair, even though it's not comfortable, and survey the mess around me that Harry and I have unknowingly made together, in a way
With a lazy wave of my right hand I clear the mess away, suddenly very tired. I head off to my room, take a quick shower and climb into bed, trying desperately not to think about the betrayal I feel from Harry's actions. Not the letters, but looking into my pensieve...it hurt me...my trust and faith in him are gone
I slip into an uneasy sleep, thinking of how things could've been if this hadn't happened
---
Back in Severus' study, one last letter lays there unread. He will never find it, for it has fallen under his desk where it can only be seen if you know what to look for. The writing on the front is, though from the same person, neater then the others sent tonight. On the inside, in a flowing scripture are a mere three words
I love you
But he will never find it. For the darkness is the best secret keeper one could ever find.
Please tell me what you think...I maybe have an idea for a follow up, if you're interested. I know it's short, but I thought it was a cool idea, so I wrote it
Review, please!