The trek to his room is mostly silent. I find that I have to ask him, though, so I gather up my courage and speak, "Harry...what is the matter?" I stop in the middle of the hall, and he follows suit
He still doesn't look up at me, nor does he answer
"Why are you acting like this?" I try to clarify, but the attempt is futile, "Do you ever plan on speaking to me?" I sound desperate now, even to myself. But Albus wants me to be nice to the boy, and this attitude is really starting to drive me up the wall
"You don't want to talk to me," He says quietly, eyes still down
"And why wouldn't I? I know...in your fifth year..." Damn, the boy has me tongue-tied; "You think just because of 'the incident' that I'm not capable of being civil three years later?"
"Well obviously you were incapable even two years after it!" He looks up, angry that I don't understand, I suppose, and the sudden change shocks me, "I apologized...many times over that night, I might add...and then you don't even reply to...to..." He's choking on sobs, and I can't figure out why
"You're upset because I didn't respond? How was I supposed to respond? 'Oh, since you put it that way, I forgive you'?!" I shout
He looks down again and I growl low in my throat, "Look at me," I demand in a threatening voice
But he doesn't. He still looks down
"Harry. Look at me," I say, slightly softer this time and he looks at me from under lowered lashes, "I won't lie and say that I'm 100 ok with what happened back then, but I am much closer. I'm still hurt by it, but I'm not about to go off on you or not talk to you just because of that. Doing that would be the equivalent of taking out my grudge I had on your father on you. That wasn't right, and this wouldn't be either"
"Are you really ready to forgive me?" He asks, hope shinning in his eyes
"Yes...in due time, I will be. I'm already halfway there. I just want you to know that, ok?"
He nods solemnly, "I understand, sir"
"Severus"
"What?" His head snaps up in what I guess to be shock, if the look in his eyes is anything to go by
"Call me Severus now," I sigh, not willing to back out of the hole I dug by speaking before thinking, "You are no longer my student...I have no power over you anymore, as loathe as I am to admit it"
He smiles, "Of course you still have power over me, Severus, don't worry about that"
"What kind of power?" I scoff
He frowns a bit, brows furrowing as he opens his mouth to respond. No words have the chance to escape, however, due to the appearance of Professor McGonagall in the hallway
"Harry, dear!" She says fondly, striding up to embrace him in a crushing hug
"Hello, Minerva," He says. I roll my eyes when he uses her first name, 'Oh sure, it's easy to call her by her first name, but not me' I inwardly snort
"How have you been? Oh, we've all missed you so much," McGonagall's in full blown grandma mode...it really is rather sickening, if you watch it for too long
"I've been..." He's searching for the right words, "through better times than this," after this he looks to me, "But I have a feeling things will start to look up from now on," he smiles shyly and Minerva beams
"And why is that, Harry?" She asks the question that is on my mind
"I finally received something I've been waiting three years for," he says cryptically
"Three years? What..." She begins, but I cut her off
"Minerva, if you please," I sigh exasperatedly, "I still have a mission to fulfill before I am allowed to return to my brooding. So if you would kindly allow me to simply show him where his rooms are, I will be more then happy to let you have him for awhile"
"Oh yes, of course, Severus," She says, still smiling, "I will let you do that, then. I'll see you later, Harry"
She begins to walk off, but stops to whisper something in the boys ear before departing for good. As she walks off, they're both smiling broadly at their shared joke, and he looks at me with the bright eyes that had been missing since he got here this afternoon
"What is so funny?" I bite out
"Oh nothing...just something she said. It's really of no importance at all," He's still smiling as he continues on in the direction we were heading in before stopping to chat
"Harry, you will tell me what she said," I order, following him and quickly catching up
"Possibly....maybe later," Is all he says
The rest of the way to the enclosure is quiet, though the trip isn't long enough for it to become uncomfortable
"Miss Estrate," I address the fair blonde-haired maiden of the green pasture, "This is Harry Potter, and he will be your new charge"
"Ooooh! It's been so long since anyone has occupied these rooms," She smiles brilliantly at Harry, and I have to suppress my shiver of disgust, "I do hope they are suitable for you, Mr. Potter"
"I'm sure they'll be fine," He assures the portrait
"And what will your password be?" She asks, "Or do you not want Severus here to hear it?" She smiles at me, but I merely scowl in return
"He can hear it...that's all right. I would like..." He trails off, apparently thinking, then decides: "I would like my password to be 'Obscured Vision', if it can be"
"Quite a unique password...but I guess I've had weirder. Godric had it as 'Twinkle Toes' once...quite the odd fellow he was, though," She chuckles
"Godric? As in Godric Gryffindor?" Harry asks, mouth gaping
"Of course. Didn't anyone tell you? I guard the master suite of Gryffindor," at his puzzled look, she turns to me, "Honestly! Don't you people tell anyone anything anymore?"
"I had no hand in this," I put both up in mock surrender to show this, "I am merely the messenger and bearer of your gift"
I watch as she gives Harry a once-over and feel something inside of me that I can't quite place, "Well I do love my gift, Severus," She practically purrs, making both the boy and I dry-heave, "You should bring me more sometime"
"I'll see what I can do," I snarl sarcastically through a clenched jaw
"See that you do," She says, still ogling Harry
"Well, since I have done my part here, I will leave you to settle into your new rooms. I expect to see you in my office at eight tonight to discuss the beginning of your training tomorrow"
"Of course, Severus. I'll be there," Harry says, shy once more, though not nearly as sad
I return to my rooms to work on potions for Pomfry, for the students have once again diminished all of her stocks through the school year
It's amazing how one simple (or not so simple) act of making potions can ensnare someone so thoroughly that they don't realize that dinner is half over by the time they resurface from the haze of it
I hurry down to the Great Hall, it being 7:15 by now. I take my place at the small table in between Poppy and Filius, ignoring the quiet stares I can feel coming from those around me
"What?" I finally snap, looking up from my food after attempting to ignore the rest of them for a good few minutes
"Why are you late, Severus?" Albus asks kindly
"I lost track of time while I was brewing the potions for Poppy," they didn't seem satisfied, "What? Like I've never been late to dinner before?"
Minerva clears her throat, "Of course you've been late to dinner before...we all have at some point...but I guess...you just..." She stumbles
"I've never seen you in anything but your menacing robes, Severus," Harry says, smiling, "I never took you for a muggle clothes type of guy," He barely suppresses a giggle
I look down at myself in shock. True, I like wearing something more comfortable during the summer holidays...there's no reason to be trapped in such confining clothes when there are no students around to menace. I can't believe I forgot to put my robes on over this outfit... i especially /i this one (one of my favorites, actually). It's simply a tighter fit dark green, short-sleeved shirt and some comfortable blue jeans. Sure, it's not black, but really, what's the big deal?
"I like being comfortable during my breaks," I say defensively, "You know I like to done muggle clothing during the summer. Not only is it lighter, but it's more freeing, as well," I glare around the table, daring anyone to question me further
"Of course, Severus...we will leave you alone about it now," Albus says politely, then starts a group conversation about a new form of ministry trying to take control of Switzerland or some other odd country. Naturally, I abstain from joining the discussion
At around 7:45, I finally decide to leave the happy little gathering and head down to my rooms. Everyone is, of course, done eating when I leave, but it is common practice in this castle to simply sit and converse for up to hours afterwards. I don't enjoy these past-times very much
As I settle in my sitting room for the first time since I had to collect the boy this afternoon, I spot the forgotten envelope still lying on the coffee table. I pick it up, wondering if it's even worth reading now that he's back
I stare at it some more - funny how much time I've spent simply doing that today. To hell with it. I'm gonna open it. What harm could it do to read I'm sorry one more time?
I'm surprised to find that my hands are shaking as I try to open it up. I carefully take the parchment out of its enclosure and open it, my heart pounding faster in a way it hasn't done since the night when I should've read this
I think my heart stopped after reading the words. I can't be sure, because my breathing hitched and I could almost swear the room went dark for a moment, but I think I died for a second. I wasn't expecting to find these words in front of me...not now, not ever. I love you. How the hell did I miss this that night?! Is it really from him? I check the writing once more, and it's unmistakably his
Maybe someone forged his handwriting...maybe he was drunk. He wasn't in his right mind when he wrote this...he couldn't've been! Why would he...and...why? How did I miss this?!
There's a knock on my door, and it makes me jump a foot in the air. Quite literally, thank you very much. I stand up, letter in hand, and attempt to compose myself before opening the door to find none other then Harry Potter in my doorway
"Severus?" Harry asks worriedly. Did I do that bad of a job concealing my emotions? This boy has gone to my head!
"You sent this? You really sent this?" I ask, showing him the note, not caring that any of the teachers could walk past and see the note or us
His eyes grow wide, then meet mine again, "You received it, didn't you? You never responded, so why are you making such a big deal about it to me now?" he sounds mad
"How was I supposed to respond to it when I just received it this morning? I know it probably was sent three years ago, but I didn't receive it until today," I say vehemently
"This morning?" He looks truly perplexed, "Severus...I did send that three years ago...the last night we ever talked"
I stand there, the wheels turning in my brain, "Come inside. We have things to discuss"
---
Cliffy...I'm aware. However, I am worn out with this for the night and still have Advanced Math homework to do...ewwwww...
This chapter is significantly longer than the other two, wouldn't you say? I still don't know how far I'm wanting to go with this, but we'll find out together. Also, before you yell at me, you will be told what McGonagall whispered to Harry as she was leaving...should be next chapter, so yeah
Due to...recent points being (not so subtly) brought to my attention, I will no longer state my rule at the bottom of the chapters. I trust you all know what it is I am talking about, and know my wishes. That is all that matters and I will henceforth discontinue its usage. I do not, however, think it is unreasonable for a writer to merely ask that their work be acknowledge so they know that they are not wasting their time. And I do not appreciate reviews simply yelling at me for my use of the aforementioned tactic and the way I use my characters. I am basing this story loosely off of a real life happening (minus the "I love you" part and anything that happens next) and know how Harry would feel in this situation. You will just have to trust me with my interpretation of him. I'm sorry if it seems off to anyone, but it is and will remain as such
Now I'm done ranting. Happy now?