Chapter Three:


"You feelin' okay, Lizzie?"

"Yeah," I replied, casting Soda a startled glance. "Why?"

We were walking home from the diner together, so that Steve could drive the four girls home. It was a warm enough evening, so we didn't mind walking, and it was a nice night, with a clear sky and plenty of moonlight.

"Nothin', really," Soda shrugged. "Steve just noticed that ya didn't really eat much at the diner, and I thought maybe your stomach was still botherin' ya like it was last night."

"I just wasn't hungry," I lied. "That popcorn filled me up, I guess."

Soda raised an eyebrow skeptically, looking infuriating like Mom. "You didn't even eat half of the bag," he rebutted.

"That's because somebody kept stealin' it from me," I retorted, swinging at him playfully. "You and Steve eat like horses, ya know that?"

"So ya keep tellin' us."

I made a face at him, then raised my face towards the sky, looking at the stars as we walked in silence. I've always been fascinated by the stars for some reason, ever since I was little. I guess it's because they're so far away, and yet they shine with such brilliance, like nothing can touch them, you know? Dad and I used to sit out on the porch during the summer nights and gaze up at the stars, looking for constellations. Sometimes Pony would sit with us, but usually it was just me and Dad.

After he died the stars always seemed a little colder somehow, like they'd lost some of that brilliance.

When we got home, Darry was putting his jeans in the wash. He looked up as we strolled into the kitchen, a frown on his face. "I thought you were Ponyboy," he explained, before Soda could make a sarcastic remark about him not being happy to see us.

"He ain't back yet?" I asked with a frown of my own.

Darry shook his head. "No, he ain't, and it's gettin' late. I'm kind of worried."

"Aww, don't be," Soda waved dismissively, heading back into the living room and flopping down on the couch to watch the television. "He's probably on his way back now. Just watch, he'll be home soon."

"I hope so," Darry said grimly.

"He'll be fine," I assured him with a steady smile, then turned and headed for my room to change into my pajamas. I tugged off my jeans and my shirt, and slipped into a pair of lightweight navy pants and an old sweatshirt of Soda's. I brushed my long hair back into a ponytail and fastened it with a band, then lowered myself down onto my bed, reaching for the book on my nightstand.

We were supposed to be reading The Grapes of Wrath for class, but I hadn't found the time to get past the first chapter yet. When Darry'd asked how my reading was coming along the other day, I told him I was on the fifth chapter. I figured I might as well make an effort to get at least that far.

I was just about finished with the fourth chapter when the sound of the door opening caught my attention. I glanced over at the clock and was surprised to see that it read 2:00 AM. "What the hell is Pony out this late for?" I muttered, and Darry must have been wondering the same thing, for his voice boomed through the house a moment later.

"Where the heck have you been?! Do you know what time it is?!"

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and stood up, my bare feet padding on the cool floor as I made my way out to the living room. Darry was towering over Ponyboy, glowering like a titan, while Pony chewed on his fingernails, trying to avoid looking up at him.

"Well it's two in the morning, kiddo," Darry snapped. "Another hour and I would have had the police out after you. Where were you, Ponyboy? Where in the almighty universe were you?!"

"I..." Pony stammered. "I fell asleep in the lot."

"You what?!" Darry roared, and I flinched, startled.

Soda jolted awake on the couch, having fallen asleep waiting for Ponyboy to return. He rubbed his eyes, looking around in bewilderment, until his gaze fell on our little brother. "Hey, Ponyboy," he said sleepily. "Where ya been?"

"I didn't mean to," Pony tried to explain to Darry as he sidestepped around him, heading for the bathroom. "I was talkin' to Johnny and we both dropped off..."

"I reckon it never occurred to you that your brothers and sister might be worrying their heads off, and afraid to call the police because somethin' like that could get the three of you thrown into a home so fast it'd make your head spin!"

I swallowed hard, my throat feeling tight all of the sudden. "Darry..." I pleaded softly.

"And you were asleep in the lot?!" he continued, ignoring me. "Ponyboy, what on earth is the matter with you? Can't you use your head? You haven't even got a coat on!"

"I said I didn't mean to!" Ponyboy cried, his eyes wild with hot tears.

"I didn't mean to," Darry shouted, his face flushed with anger. "I didn't think! I forgot! That's all I ever from you! Can't you think of anything?!"

"Darry," Soda began, having fully woken up by now. "Give him a break, he's-"

"You shut your trap," Darry cut him off with a snarl. "I'm sick and tired of hearin' you stick up for him!"

Soda faltered in surprise, Darry never yelled at Soda. I was shocked, too, but Ponyboy was just angry. "Don't you yell at him!" he exploded venomously, and Darry whirled around so fast I almost didn't see what happened next.

But even if I hadn't seen it, I would have heard it, as Darry's hand connected with Ponyboy's cheek, and then Ponyboy was reeling back into the door with a crash.

A cold silence fell over the room, and I reckon not one of us could remember how to breathe. Nobody in our family had ever hit Ponyboy, not ever. Soda's eyes were huge, disbelief etched across his face. Ponyboy was leaning into the door, his mouth open in shock. My fingers were trembling over my mouth, and I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up.

Darry looked down at his reddened hand, then up at Pony, his eyes tormented. "Pony," he rasped. "I..."

But Pony was already bolting out the door and leaping down the steps, and pounding down the street.

Darry threw open the door, hollering after him, "Pony, I didn't mean to!"

The initial shock had worn off, and I glanced over at Soda, who was swallowing hard, obviously shaken by what had just happened. Darry was shutting the door, and as he turned back towards us I let him have it.

I'm a small girl, even at five foot-six, I'm a good eight inches shorter than Darry, and I only weigh about a hundred pounds. But I'm tougher than I look, and I'm a good fighter, and I was aiming to remind him of that when I slammed my fist into his jaw.

Darry didn't stumble back like most people would, but I had the satisfaction of seeing his head snap to the side with a jerk, and when he looked back at me, there was a splatter of blood on his lip. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I screamed at him. "Are you stoned or somethin'? Do ya have any idea what ya just did?!"

"Lizzie..." Soda said firmly, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me back to keep me from jumping on Darry again. Soda held me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my waist in case I decided to try to get loose.

"I didn't mean to..." Darry murmured, his voice fragile. "I... I didn't..."

All the anger drained out of me right then, seeing the frightened, scared look in my big brother's eyes. He was terrified, not only of what he'd just done, but of what his actions might lead Pony to do now. He was such a tough guy, rock solid and just as strong, but here he was, standing in the middle of the living room, looking about as lost as a puppy in the center ring of a rodeo.

"We know you didn't," Soda assured him gently, in that soothing tone of his, the one that always makes you believe everything is going to be okay. "And Pony knows it, too. He just needs to calm down, let out some of his tension. Don't worry, things are gonna be fine."

I wasn't so sure, though, and something inside of me was still clenched tight with fear, so I moved towards the door, reaching for my jacket hanging on the coat-rack.

"Where do ya think you're goin'?" Soda demanded, quietly but with a sternness that meant he wasn't playing around.

"Where do ya think?" I retorted, shouldering on my jacket. "I'm goin' after him. Lord knows what trouble that boy could get into in the state of mind he's in now."

"He'll be fine," Soda said, somehow sounding calm, even though I knew he was anything but. "He just needs some time to cool down, that's all."

"But-" I protested.

"He'll come back on his own," Soda said firmly. "Let him have some time to himself first. He's got some thinkin' to do, I reckon. Darry needs us right now." He glanced over at Darry and I followed his gaze to find him lowering himself shakily into the armchair in the corner, his expression dazed, his eyes glossy and faraway.

I sighed, realizing Soda was right. Darry did need us right now, perhaps more than he ever had. Wordlessly, I walked over to him and dropped down into a crouch in front of him, looking up at him, trying to catch his gaze. "Darry," I said softly. When he didn't react, I reached out to touch his cheek gently. "Darry, look at me."

He raised his head and I found myself looking into haunted eyes.

"I'm sorry I hit ya," I whispered, feeling my own eyes begin to sting with liquid. "I know ya didn't mean to hit Pony, or to chase him off. I shouldn't have lashed out ya like I did. I'm sorry."

Darry just nodded, real slow and silent like.

"Pony'll be back soon," Soda said again, and I wondered who he was trying to reassure, us or himself. "I'll wait up on him, you two can go back to bed."

Of course, no one moved to leave the room, and so we all just sat there in silence.

Waiting.