Chapter Twelve:


School proved to be a good distraction the next day, and I busied myself with the assignments my teachers handed out, focusing solely on the work so that I didn't have to think about the important stuff, because the important stuff always seemed to be the hard stuff.

Like what was going on between me and Steve.

Like whether or not my little brother was ever coming home.

Like whether or not the state was going to take Darry's custodial rights away.

It was the last one that really had me worried, and I knew it had Soda and Darry worried, too. Well, Darry, anyway, Soda didn't really worry much about anything. He still held firm to the belief that whatever happened, he and Steve and Darry could handle it. I gave up that kind of thinking about Mom and Dad died.

Darry's not the kind of guy to tell you what he's thinking, though, not like Pony who'll tell you everything that passes through his head if he's comfortable talking to you. Darry likes to keep things to himself, and I guess I can't fault him for that when I'm the same way, but sometimes I really want to smack him upside the head for it. How am I supposed to know what's going on when he won't tell me?

I tried to ask about it a few times, and all he does is keep telling me not to worry, that everything will work out fine, but I know he's worried, too, and it bugs me that we all pretend like nothing's wrong when just about everything is.

Still, Darry'd asked me not to worry about it, so I figured I should try not to. The only problem with that idea was that it meant there was an even greater chance that I'd end up worrying about Ponyboy or Steve, both of which were topics I could do without thinking of.

When Tessa learned that Steve had kissed me a second time, I thought she was going to grin herself to death. She wouldn't quit smiling, and it was so damn annoying, because there was nothing for her to be smiling about, right? I mean, so what if he'd kissed me again? It didn't mean anything, because it couldn't mean anything. He had a girlfriend, and I was just his best friend's little sister.

It was crazy. I mean, there could never really be anything more than attraction between us. Even if I did feel something, and I wasn't admitting anything, it just wouldn't work. It couldn't work, because Steve and me was a crazy idea, it didn't make any sense whatsoever.

That's what I kept telling myself, anyway.

The truth is, and I'm loathe to admit this even to myself, I think maybe it could work. If we wanted it to, if we tried. There's always been chemistry between us, I realize that now. All the fighting and the bickering, the intense glares... chemistry. I've kissed my share of boys, but I've never had a kiss quite like the one with Steve, and from the breathless look on his face when we pulled apart, I reckon he hasn't either.

The bell rang, releasing us for lunch, and I stood quickly, grabbing my books from my desk and turning to wait for Emma and Tessa to join me from their seats in the back of the classroom. Emma gave me an odd look as we headed towards the door. "Where were ya all class?" she asked.

"What?" I said, frowning in confusion.

Tessa giggled, rolling her eyes. "You were off daydreamin' for the entire period," she said, exchanging a knowing look with Emma. "I wonder what about."

"Don't you mean who?" Emma retorted and they both snickered.

I sighed, shaking my head. "I don't know why I'm still hangin' around with you two."

"Because it's better than hangin' around with the boys all the time?" Tessa offered with a smile as she led the way through the door and out into the crowded hall.

"Face it, Lizzie," Emma grinned, her eyes bright. "Ya know ya love us too much to..." she trailed off, her gaze drifting past me, and her eyes widened a little in surprise.

"What?" I asked, frowning. "What is it?"

Wordlessly, she nodded in the direction behind me, a silent cue for me to turn around. I did, and I imagine my expression mirrored her own when I saw what it was that had captured her attention.

Leaning against the lockers that lined the wall across from my classroom, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a pair of jeans and a tight-fitting black t-shirt that showed off his wiry muscularity, was Steven Randle himself.

He was watching the crowd of students pass by, tapping his fingers on his arm in boredom, but he must have felt my eyes on him, because he looked back right then and when our eyes met he pushed off of the lockers, starting towards me.

"He's comin' over here," Emma said softly, and there was an unspoken offer to detain him long enough for me to slip away if I didn't want to deal with him yet, but I didn't run from my problems, and I wasn't about to start then.

"Yeah," I murmured, my gaze locked on Steve as he weaved his way through the hall.

He reached us a moment later, after shooting a glare at a Soc who purposely bumped into him a little too hard. If we hadn't been in school, Steve would have slammed his head into the wall, and I might have helped him. Lately the Socs had been getting even more aggressive, especially towards our kind of girls.

Two-Bit's brakes had gone out the night before, while he and Kathy were going to get a bite to eat after the mess with Cherry at the lot. Since his car was in the shop now, Steve had to drive us to school, and on the way we saw a group of Socs hassling a pair of greaser girls. Steve was slowing down, ready to stop the car so he and Two-Bit could get out and intervene, but some of the Brumley boys were in the area, and they showed up to wipe the pavement with the Socs. We gave the girls, Betsy and Sally, a ride to school, and they got a lecture from Two-Bit about walking alone. Of course, lectures from Two-Bit are lighthearted and usually involve flirting, so I doubt they minded much.

"Hey," Steve said as he reached my side.

"Hey," I replied, and my voice came out more breathless than I would have liked.

"We're gonna go on ahead to lunch," Emma told me, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I'll see ya in math."

"Right," I affirmed with a nod, watching as she started down the hall, tugging Tessa along by the wrist. I kept my gaze on their retreating backs for a few moments, trying to steady my breathing, and then I turned back to Steve, offering him a smile, tight smile.

"You wanna get a burger or somethin' for lunch?" he asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

I raised an eyebrow, surprised. Normally we just go to the grocery store for snacks, and the last time we went anywhere for lunch was after Mom and Dad died, when Steve and Two-Bit thought that Pony and I needed some cheering up.

"Not really in the mood for a burger," I replied. "But I'd settle for some fries."

"Good deal," Steve agreed, and we headed out to the parking lot, making our way to his car. "Two-Bit ain't hungry, or so he claims," he informed me as he opened the passenger door. I blinked, startled to realize he was holding it open for me, but decided not to comment. "I reckon he just didn't want to get back into a car right after his little scare last night."

I chuckled, nodding my agreement as he shut the door and walked around the car, opening the driver's side door and sliding into his seat.

We drove over to the Dairy Queen, and Steve ordered us some fries and drinks, then we parked the car off to the side, and ate in comfortable silence. It was odd, really, to feel so at ease in his presence, considering how tense things were between us and all the unspoken questions hanging in the air, but it felt right.

After a few minutes, Steve stopped eating, and licked his lips a few times, glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes. I pushed my fries back into the bag and shifted in my seat so that I was facing him, pursing my lips together inquisitively. "What is it?"

"I broke things off with Evie," he said bluntly.

I swallowed hard, surprised, and opened my mouth to ask why, but no words came out. I didn't need to ask anyway, I knew why, and he knew that I knew.

"What do ya want from me?" I asked softly.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh that was part-frustration, part-defeat. "I just want you, that's all."

There, he'd said it. What we'd both known in our hearts for a while now was finally out in the open, just lying there, waiting for one of us to pick it up and do something with it.

But what, I had no idea.

I bit my lip, my emotions washing over me for a moment. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the quickened beat of my heart, reminding myself to breathe. Steve wanted me, but did I want him?

Lord, I did. I really, really did. Maybe I always had, and I just didn't know it. Maybe that was why I lost my temper with him so easily, why I hated Evie as much as I did. Of course, even if she hadn't been dating Steve, I wouldn't have liked her. She's just the kind of person I can't get along with, you know? Not necessarily mean or anything, just shallow and bossy. It wasn't until she started dating Steve that I really began to loathe her, though.

As for Steve himself... he was handsome, he was smart, he was strong and sarcastic and almost as cocky as Two-Bit, which was really saying something. He could be real funny sometimes, and he had this gentle side to him, one that people rarely saw. I'd only seen it a few times in all the years that I'd known him, but when it showed itself there was something almost vulnerable about him, you know? Like he was letting you see right into the very heart of him and all.

And we connected. It didn't happen that often, because we were too busy bickering to let it, but when it did it was like he knew me better than anyone. He understood all my little quirks, he understood that sometimes I just need to get angry because it's my way of coping with things that are too big and too hard for me. We may have fought like cats and dogs, but when it mattered, when it was real, Steve was always there for me.

Like the day of Mom and Dad's funeral, when everything just got too overwhelming and I had to get away. I took off running, dress and all, ignoring Darry and Soda calling my name, and ran all the way to the park before sinking down into one of the swings and crying. Steve found me a while later. He didn't try to get me to talk about it, didn't try to tell me things was okay, because we both knew they weren't. He just sat down on the swing next to me, and kept me company until I was ready to go home. Over the years when I got my heart broken over silly crushes he was always there to offer a sarcastic, but not insincere, offer to beat up whatever boy had wronged me.

He hadn't done those things because of some repressed feelings he had for me, or at least I didn't think so, but because he'd always cared about me, and he'd never been able to stand seeing me hurting.

But I'm not a very trusting person, it's hard for me to let people in, to trust them with my heart. Could I do that with Steve? Could I trust him not to hurt me, and in turn deserve the same trust from him?

I didn't know, but I was willing to find out.

"Okay," I said at last.

"Okay?" he echoed, and there was a distinct flicker of hope in his tone as he gazed down at me, his dark eyes swirling with silent emotion.

"Yeah," I replied, and he smiled. "But only under one condition."

Now it was Steve who raised an eyebrow, obviously not used to having a girl place conditions on his affections, and just as obviously curious as to what I was suggesting. "What's that?"

"You have to tell Soda," I said firmly.

His expression darkened, and I could see how he was wrestling with the idea. He cared for me, he wanted to be with me, but wasn't this one of those things that was supposed to be sacred among best friends? You never betray each other, you never hurt one another, and no matter what, you never, ever fall for the sister.

Steve blew out a long breath of air, his shoulders sagging. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll tell Sodapop."

"When? I asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "When the time is right, I reckon."

In other words, when Soda's in a really good mood, and less likely to kill him. Given my brother's mood lately, that might be a while.

Before I could protest, though, Steve was leaning towards me, and his lips captured my own in a long, passionate kiss that left me so dizzy I forgot everything else.

"Sorry," he said with a lopsided grin, leaning back in his seat smugly. "I've just been dyin' to do that all day, that's all."

The funny thing was, I knew exactly how he felt.

"How'd Evie take it?" I asked curiously.

Steve gave a bitter, dry laugh. "Better than you'd expect, that's for sure. She was almost good about the whole thing?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he nodded, just as confused about it all as I was. "She said she was sorry things didn't work out between me and her, but that she always figured one day I'd open my eye and see what was there in front of me. She told me she's got no hard feelin's about it or anythin'."

It was ironic, really, the way things turned out. A week ago, if someone had asked, I would have said that Evie was vindictive and mean, and that Sandy was kind, loyal and honest. But in the end it was Sandy who couldn't be trusted, and Evie who was trying to make amends.

I guess you never can tell with some people.

"Hey," Steve said softly, and I looked up to see him frowning at me worriedly, his dark eyes swirling with affection and concern. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, and when I smiled it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. "Yeah, I think I am."


A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, you guys! Keep 'em coming! :)