When you're sad and when you're lonely
And you haven't got a friend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all that you held sacred
Falls down and dows not bend
Just remember that death is not the end.
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end.
When you're standing on the cross-roads
That you cannot comprehend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all your dreams have vanished
And you don't know what's up the bend
Just remember that death is not the end
-Bob Dylan-
Moulder punched the talk button on his cell phone. Years later hw would wish that he had just changed his number, left his phone at home, or simply let the damn thing ring.
"Mulder," he answered thickly.
"Did you think you could get this one so easily?" a familiar voice asked from a great distance.
"What the hell do you want?" He had crossed the room and entered the kitchen so as not to disturb Dylan. The Queen needed her rest.
"Mr. Mulder, you are wuite the doting father I must say, but aren't you missing something? Did you not forget something?" Mulder absently reached for his gun as the CSM spit his foul poison through the air waves. What really bothered him was that he had brought his gaughter into it. That hit below the belt. "Youleave her alone you sick son of a—"
"I really am getting tired of THAT epitaph Mr. Mulder, but I am going to be kind to you. Kinder than you deserve perhaps."
Mulder's stomach began to turn in the space between the silence of that conversation. "What the fuck do you want from me?" He screamed into the phone.
"Temper temper Mr. Mulder, but you have to give me some credit after all I am your Santa Clause hmm?" he sneered. "If it weren't for me you wouldn't be there at….Teena's with that adorable little bundle. Don't yopu remember Fox?"?
Mulder could hear the innuendo dripping off every word the man leered. "You sick bastard, you're the reason Scully is in the"
"We had no idea the chip would react in such a way. There is a way to save her, but my help comes at a price to you sir." Mulder didn't like where this is headed not one little bit.
"How much of my soul is this gonna cost me?" He asked fighting back tears
"Well, Mr. Mulder, it is not really your soul that would be on the table so to speak."
Oh God no, no please no…
"Dylan that is her name is it not? Dylan was meant as a distraction we figured the one way to get you off the x-files was to push you into fatherhood. Frankly Mr. Mulder that had been the plan all along, but we were starting to get impatient with you two, starting to doubt if you liked the fairer sex, or just didn't want them in your secret clubhouse. And so we took matters into our own hands. What better way to distract you than with a pretty young wife and a child on the way. You would have happily gone about your business. Someone higher up wanted to up the ante, they messed with Scully's chip and she is now how do you say assuming Sleeping Beauty's role in this drama." Mulder could here the asshole lighting another cigarette before going on. "In the end Mr. Mulder, the choice will be made, either by you or by those far above you. We will be in touch."
Mulder almost brought the house down running for Dylan.
He wisely didn't tell his mother of the conversation, he had simply stayed for breakfast, and ppacked up his daughter's things.
"Fox," she had followed him to the car with a box in her hands. "I have some things for you and for Dylan. I don't want you to get sad from them, just think of them as family heirlooms, things Dylan are entitled to have." She placed the box in the front seat, and leaned over into the back to hug and kiss her granddaughter. "You take care of your Daddy right?" she smiled at the infant. "Make sure he staysd out of trouble. Men are good for that kind of thing."
"Thanks Mom, for everything." He was feeling almost antsy, looking behind his shoulder.
Her hug surprised him, he almost jumped out of his skin when she did it. He succumbed to it after a moment, and even hugged back. "You'll be fine Fox." She smiled "good bye Little Scully." She waved at the back seat as they drove off.
He entered his apartment with his gun drawn, the baby carrier dangling precariously from his left arm. This is real good here Mulder, father of the year material. Hey Daddy can we be in another gun fight again can we daddy huh?
Look on the bright side, she'd never date.
He placed Dylan in her portable crib, which he rolled in front of the couch. There was no way she was getting out of his sight. Real good Mulder but how long can you protect her? Are3 you gonna send FBI agents to pre school with her. And what the hell was all that about anyway? Was he just given a choice and made to balance his two loves lives in one hand. Oh fuck.
Dylan wailed for her two am feeding. He had long ago become an expert in sleepwalking. He never really woke up for them, just ambled toward the refrigerator in a half sleep trance, finding his way by memory rather than sight. She liked to be held when she ate, even at night, even when he was so dog tired than all images came in hazy flashes. She relied on him, and he was starting to realize that he relied on her. The phone call weighed heavily on his mind. How could they have done this to them? To create a child only to threaten to take her away. There were choices he knew he had to make. And none of them were going to be good but he knew he had to protect the ones he loved.
"You are doing what?" AD Skinner had seen a lot in his tenure as AD for the FBI, but the day Special Agent Fox Mulder strolled in toting a car seat was a day he thought would never come.
"Sir, with all due respect this is my choice and it is just time for a change. I have new responsibilities in my life now. I can't just go running off and putting myself in danger just to dodge bullets. I am respoinsible for the sole care of another human being."
Skinner sighed and rose from his desk. "I can see your point Agent-er Mr. Mulder. I will push this through as quickly as possible, but I gotta tell you" his voice cracked as he spoke thes words. "This place is not going to be the same without you."
Mulder jaunted down to the basement. He wanted to pack up the office and say a sort of a good-bye. "Hey Dylan, wanna see where Daddy met Mommy?" he asked the blanketed form as he pushed open the heavy door. The minute he flicked the light on, we wished he had not have had to come down there. Everything was the same as the last day he had been down there. Dylan's birthday. He had even left a cup of coffee sitting on the desk that had taken on a murky green layer.
"Ewww, Dylan, Daddy really hates having to bring you in here. I need to do this though I promise it won't take long." He disposed of the science experiment that even Scully would not have gone near, placed the baby's car seat on his desk and began to work.
Mulder boxed up his memories, his angry passions and bad dreams. Most were gone anyway. Hew knew what sent Scully to her coma, knew little could be done to stop it.
Was this the complacency that CSM had longed for from him? Or was he protecting his daughter? He had cleared off his desk, save a picture of he and Scully. It was taken a year before she got sick. They were at a crime scene and one of the local lawe enforcement had told a joke that would not have been funny if they weren't standing over the body. He picked it up smiling. "See that Dylan, your Mom could find humor in the most macabre of places. She was a rose with more thorns than any, but her beauty was worth it." He imagined she would grow to look like her, maybe if she was lucky Dylan would inherit her staunch skepticism. He traced his finger along the photo, trying to place himself back into that exact moment where they shared this morbid laughter. The living often makes a joke of Death. He mused. We believe that it cant happen to us. Scully didn't thi9nk she would be laying there in mock death. So much light
He missed her
He missed her a lot
The tears fell before he realized he was even crying. Anger rushed up through his veins and he began tearing the office apart one punch at a time. "God Damn you you freaking psycho. This is all she wanted and she can't have it. You sick fuck "
Dylan wailed from being awakened so fiercely. In her cries he found his solace, his redemption. I am here for her. He told himself over and over. I am here for her I am hers and she is mine and we are all we have.
"You like the cart ride Dylan? Well don't get used to it Little Scully, this is your one and only trip here. I won't subject you to this life the way I subjected your mother." He pushed the cart with his memories and his daughter through the bull pen of the Hoover Building
"Hey Mulder, how's Spooky Jr." It was a group of fellow agents, mostly women gathered around oohing over the tiny baby riding atop the metal cart in her car seat.
"Actually her name is Dylan.'
More oooohs and aahhhs as she gurgled at the sound of her name being spoken. "She looks so cute. Oh my Spooky she is a red head she looks just like…"
Don't say it he silently pleaded.
"Agent Scully, sorry Mulder how is she?" One of them asked
"About the same, I gotta go." He deftly maneuvered the cart out to the parking garage, careful of the carseat. As he loaded the last of the things from the office into the front seat, he hesitated, not wanting to cry, but not wanting not to. He was leaving a part of his life here. He knew he had made a choice, a decision, one of those all important ones his mother had warned him about. Mulder knew risking his life to charge at windmills was futile now; the only things he wanted were two tiny red heads that meant the world to him. Something was bothering him, something was not right, he could feel it as sure as his daughter squirmed in her seat. He felt her sensed her knew that she was near.
He blew right past his exit and drove straight to the Center that had become Scully's home.
Room 1013 sat empty, the bed was freshly made, and sunlight drew crazy rays across the flat empty sheets. He nearly dropped the car seat upon seeing the site before him.
He was screaming before he even comprehended that the room was empty.
When you're sad and when you're lonely
And you haven't got a friend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all that you held sacred
Falls down and dows not bend
Just remember that death is not the end.
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end.
When you're standing on the cross-roads
That you cannot comprehend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all your dreams have vanished
And you don't know what's up the bend
Just remember that death is not the end.
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end.
When the storm clouds gather round you
And heavy rains descend
Just remember that death is not the end
And there's nowhere there to comfort you
With helping hand to lend
Just remember that death is not the end.
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end.
Oh the tree of life is growing
Where the spirit never dies
And the bright light of salvation
Shines in dark and empty skies
When the cities are on fire
When the burning flesh of men
Just remember that death is not the end
And you search in vain to find
Just one law abiding citizen
Just remember that death is not the end.
Not the end, not the end
Just remember that death is not the end.
Ok so I got one more in before I moved, my roommate is gonna kill me cuz I should be finishing packing but I had to get this out. I am as addicted to the story as you guys, and even though I know how it is gonna turn out, I can't wait to see how it ends
Thanx for all the reviews, you guys keep me at this. I am thinking of a new story but wont start til I finish this one. Just discovered fan fics about two months ago and now I am addicted LOl
Keep the reviews coming and the Muse will keep feeding me, I am surprised at how easy this has come out, I thought it would be much harder but it only taked me about an hour to do a chapter. LOL
Oh I have a question, what is everyone's favorite line from the show? I have two I will share if you will, one is obvious, but the other isd kinda obscure…..LET ME KNOW