Maybe redemption's your story to tell

Maybe forgiveness is back where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

Where you gonna go,

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here.

Switchfoot

"Mulder, what the hell are you talking about? Mulder stop, look at me you are not making much sense. You have just been diagnosed with a really nasty concussion and you are trying to sign yourself out AMA? She was trying not to sound too much like a nagging shrew, but the effect had already taken over.

He wouldn't talk to her, the whole time he got his things together and dealt with the paperwork, he had pretended she wasn't even there.

Ok, damn it, it hurt.

"Mulder, leaving the hospital with a concussion can lead to fatal-"She was trying hard to keep up with him as he pounded through the hospital hallways.

"Why are you following me?" He spurted, with an odd rage that she could not place.

"Mulder they called me when you had your car accident?"

"Scully I can think of about twelve things wrong with that statement." He slammed the elevator button and cursed having to sit there and make nice-nice with her.

"Don't get me wrong Scully, its nice to see you and all. Seeing as how the last conscious thought I had was being at your funeral. Then, I do a total Dorothy here only to find out that I am sane and everyone else is in need of some serious psycho-therapy."

"Mulder I don't understand…"

"No," He almost screamed at her. "You wouldn't understand because to you she was nothing more than a piece of toilet paper dragged by your shoe. To you she was a reminder of a night that I thought was one of the most beautiful experiences in my life." He absently whipped out his wallet and began searching through it for a picture to shove in her face. All he found were Adult Video Membership cards and a MUFON Id amongst the usual credit cards and valid forms of Identification. "Shit" he muttered, almost feeling the tears coming now.

"Mulder are you?" She kept reminding herself he just got up from a nasty concussion; of course he is going to be a little disoriented and may say some hurtful things.

"Shut up Scully" He said as they got on the elevator.

"So where are you going anyway?" She asked him, more out of concern than small talk." I mean your car is a memory, and since you don't want me 'following you' I ask again. Where are you going to go?" She had almost twisted her ankle trying to keep up with his break neck speed. He was walking like a man on fire.

He had not thought that far into the future. It was obvious to him that he was back in Georgetown, that it was possible that he had returned to the very same night that had led to Dylan.

God how he missed her. His arms ached all over to tuck her into his side and watch Bambi again for the millionth time. He wanted to go home and braid her hair, smell her freshly washed skin. She had a great smell, an almost Scully smell. The more he thought of his daughter, the harder it was to not tear up. Scully was eyeing him in the hospital with the look of a concerned mother. Yeah Scully, a little late for that.

"I need to go home and see if…my fish are all right. Can you give me a ride?" He felt awkward being near her, it didn't feel right. He didn't trust her. It wasn't the fact that not ten days ago, at least to him, she had waved a gun at him and aimed for parts he did not want to lose. It was the wild look in her eyes that day, the fact that she was capable of it.

Yeah, and I am the one who unhinged her. He tried to shake the thought off, admitting to himself also that he knew if he ever wanted to meet Dylan, tonight would be the night.

Fat Chance of that he laughed.

When they arrived at the door of his apartment, he hesitated, trying to ready himself to meet the Fox Mulder that was. He knew it would be the same dingy pre Scully sanitization. But deep inside he had wished above all even throwing a prayer, that she would be in there, arms folded ready to kick his ass unless he had the right answers.

So much like her Mother.

"Mulder?" Scully asked reaching for his hand, and remembering better. "Are you ok?"

"She's not in there is she?" He asked, letting the tears fall and not caring anymore. "She's gone, my truth, my baby. "He slammed his fist into the door. For the first time in his life he didn't want answers, the only thing he wanted was the little four year old that led him around by the nose.

"No Mulder, you have no children. You can barely remember to feed your fish. "She tried not to smirk, but the thought of all the dead fish flushed in his apartment was hard to put out of her mind.

His shoulders slumped, and he reluctantly, if not slightly hopefully opened the door.

It was sickening to him, the porn piled up in the corner, the layer upon layer of bacterial growth that seemed to cover every inch of the place. If there was a kid here he mused, she would have gotten swallowed up in the filth. Scully watched him move around his apartment, noticing how he seemed unwilling to touch anything. Odd she thought.

"Mulder, I need to stay here tonight.." She began clearing off a spot on his couch." I cannot leave you in here alone with a concussion." He didn't answer her, just came in and slipped in next to her on the couch.

"I know I am not making much sense here Scully, and you have a hard time believing me. As Usual." He smiled over at her at their inside joke. "She was real Scully, she was sooo real." He tapped his foot on the floor to some unheard rhythm.

"You wanna talk about it?" She asked Not sure if discussing his odd lucid dreaming was a good topic of discussion, but she knew it would keep him awake.

"Not really, I" his voice cracked noticeably. "I am having a really hard time here Scully." He jumped up, and headed for his room. For a minute she thought he was going to go to sleep, till he returned and put something in the stereo.

"Mulder, I didn't know you listened to Bob Dylan…Oh I get it now." She smiled at having learned some new part of him.

"Well, it was the only thing that would put her to sleep; she had a pretty good case of insomnia." He smiled.

"So what do you think all of this was Mulder? Do you think you lived this life or had a twenty minute coma induced fantasy? What?"

"I'm not sure yet Scully. I need to find some…answers. I think CSM has had something to do with it." He cringed at a realization. "I heard his voice before I heard yours when I 'woke up' I think I had to make a choice."

"What?" she asked. "Mulder are you telling me that you believe that CSM had the technology to alter realities? Oh My God Mulder did you choose me over her?"

"I-I think I did Scully." He began to speak tell everything. By dawn she had the whole story, from the first night on. Too say she was horrified was such a small statement. She nodded at the telling of their conversation in the gym, and how unhinged she had become. How he could not let her life be some sad afterthought.

"We have to find her Mulder. We have to..." He stopped her then. "I Know she is gone Scully," he placed her hand on his heart. "I don't feel her here."

"My mother once not too long ago..." He would have to find the right terminology for this one. "It was the first time I took Dylan over to her. She and I really Talked ya know? It was like her seeing Dylan had blown apart all the walls we had up. We talked all night about Samantha. Anyway, she told me that I had more power to change the world Scully, and that power was sleeping in my arms. We can't change the world in a huge bang. We change it one world at a time, do you get what a mean?"

"Yeah," she smiled with realization. "I think I do."

He had been on the phone all morning. She wasn't sure about what. She had fallen asleep on the couch around seven a.m., and was barely aware of his hyperactive burst. She stumbled off to the bathroom to take a shower and throw on some fresh clothes.

"Hey Scully." He asked popping his head into the bedroom as she rustled through his sweats. "Wanna help me clean?" Good thing the bed was there, she felt like she was going to faint.

They spent all afternoon getting the house in order. Mulder would only stop long enough to pop a few Tylenol when the headache threatened to show up again. "So what brought all this on Mulder?" She asked when they had sat down for a lunch of tuna fish sandwiches.

"I can't live like this anymore Scully. Me and… Dylan we had a decent life. She would yell at me when I drank out of the carton. She told me often that I took a lot of work." His smile was one of a proud Papa.

"Out of the mouths of babes Mulder. "" She grinned. "I gotta tell ya Mulder, this is gonna take a lot of getting used to." She laughed. "Ok, I can see the cleanliness detail, but are you sure you are ready to part with those tapes?" She laughed pointing to the huge box next to the front door.

"Yeah, Frohike is coming to get them in the morning." He graced her with a lopsided grin. "He thinks he is coming over to help fix my computer." He threw in another big batch of magazines and tapes. "I would not want anyone to ogle my daughter the way I ogled the women in those tapes."

Makes sense, she thought, so he has matured…a little.

They started on the bedroom after lunch. Mulder actually got rid of not just the tapes but the magazines, the memberships. and the secret stash of Celebrity skin hidden under his mattress. He sorted through all the paper work in his closet and arranged it neatly. Stock summaries and bank statements of long gone by. Damn, he thought to himself, could I have been this much of a pig?

"Scully, do you remember the conversation in the parking garage a while back?" He asked while sorting through stock and bond statements.

"You mean yesterday right?" She asked still not believing what she had found under the bed. She was sure it was moving.

"Yeah, ok. Do you ever wonder Scully? I mean I think that conversation had a lot to do with my little trip. I remember once you told me that a dream is an answer to a question. You posed the question yesterday Scully. Maybe I am the one who needed the answer. "He trailed off and went into the kitchen.

Scully was a little flustered herself, she wasn't sure what he was saying, but he came pretty close to admitting something that she herself was ready to.

They settled in that night for Chinese and a movie. Mulder even let her pick it out, though cringed visibly when he caught a look at the title.

"Aw Scully," He whined trying to pry it from her hands. "Do we HAVE to watch this one again?"

Mulder, unless you want me to kick your ass in the middle of Blockbuster, I suggest you get over it."

He did. They were sitting close together now, she had her head on his shoulder, and he was trying to pay attention to Miss Congeniality and not the fact that he had not smelled her hair in four years. It was just as he remembered. "Hey Scully." Ha grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "What if I wake up from this? I mean what if this isn't real and I am really in a coma?"

She leaned into him,

Mulder didn't want to go into the office. She was about to knock him out and drag him in when he had a sudden change of heart, probably envisioned me waving that gun at his nether regions again.

For him it was like being trapped in an episode of The Twilight Zone. It was him, but not him. He didn't want to admit it to Scully, but being there scared the hell outta him. She would say that he had to get back on the horse and ride, but he felt that horse should have been shot a long time ago.

"Scully," He said after having made it through a poultry fifteen minutes of updates and briefings. "I don't think I can do this anymore." He rose to grab his coat.

"Mulder, you can't just leave, we just got here."

"I don't feel well enough to be here Scully, the last time I was here." His voice began to crack. "I brought Dylan here to empty out my things. Scully I left the X-files, and I didn't look back."

"Are you quitting Mulder?" She asked with more than a little fear in her voice.

"No, I don't know Scully. When we left here Friday, everything made sense. Of course that was five years ago for me. I was worried that you were ready to quit. I know you want a family. Lord knows you aren't ever going to find anyone as long as I keep you locked up in the dungeon." He stormed out, not even grabbing his suit jacket. "Do yourself a favor Scully. Run."

Scully was unsure of what to do next. She placed a call into Skinner requesting a week off for her and her partner. After filling out the proper paperwork he agreed, given the news of Mulder's car accident. "No sir, "she explained. "Everything is fine; he just has a little headache and is obviously shaken. Yes sir, that is odd for him. "She hated lying to her boss, but she didn't want Mulder to be in any more trouble than the kind he usually got himself into.

She headed for his apartment. Not sure if he would be there. He had a four hour head start on him, and he was practiced at the art of ditching her. It was a habit that got him into more trouble and her into more rescue operations. Than either one of them could count.

She reached his apartment not sure if she should open the door or knock. Placing an ear to the door and hearing nothing, it seemed a good idea to use her key. Once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, what she found made her draw her weapon.

You have all been sooo kind so i am uploading two count em two chapters todaty. Thank god for the computer lab at college LOL

Shadow, please dont hurt me, it has all been in the name of entertainment