You keep tellin' yourself you can take it

Tellin' yourself that you're tough.

But you still want to hold her

You must not be drinking enough

You're not drinking enough

To wash away old memories

There aint enough whiskey in Texas

To keep you from beggin'

Please Please Please

Don Henley

Dana Scully wasn't sure how she felt about what had gone on over the week at her mother's house. Things between her and Mulder were beyond weird.

They were downright spooky

When they had given in to their long put off passions, the sex was unbelievable. He had been so giving and tender, he moved so slowly, she had gone mad with the tension of it. There was not an inch of her skin that had not been set on fire with his lips. He had driven her insane with his touches; he mauled her mouth as he placed those long tapered fingers inside of her. She couldn't catch her breath. The anticipation of the first orgasm he gave her was nothing compared to the experience of it. She shook like a tree in the midst of a hurricane. Her mind had been set to puree, and she was lost to him. He could have done anything, said anything to her at that moment and all would have been forgiven.

When he finally entered her, she was still in the throes of the first orgasm; his penetration electrified the onset of the second and third one immediately. She had heard of women being able to climax simultaneously two or three at a time. She had never actually felt it. The walls began to melt, the floors shook, and her mind went numb.

It was the best sex she had ever had, hands down. She had tingles in parts of her body that they never taught about in medical school. Her head spun from him, and even when she wasn't in his arms, she wanted to be. The first night together was amazing. If either one of them ever doubted the feelings, they were laid to rest that night. Even thinking about that night made her entire body tingle.

With all the gentle touching, sweet musings and mind blowing sex, Dana could not help but wonder what next? She had jumped into this head long, not thinking nor does caring about the long term affect. And, there was that little voice nagging her in the back of her mind. I took advantage of an emotional cripple. He had lost his daughter, and I took advantage of that.

Mulder was enjoying the time here at the Scully plantation, but he knew soon he would have to go back to DC, and clean up the messes that still covered his life there.

Life, what life?

He had to clear up his life, find a plan of action. Figure out What Happens Next.

He took another long drag off of the beer bottle, finishing it and reaching for another.

"A little early to be powering back the brewski eh G-Man?" Scully asked coming up behind him on the patio.. His long legs stretched out in front of him on the patio chair.

"You saying something woman?" He asked grinning. She had to give him credit; he knew how to defuse any situation. She did mean it; he was drinking more and more over the past few days. They had gone on a total of three beer runs, and two wine raids in the five days since pulling up into her mother's driveway. It's hard to stop a run away train.

"Mulder, we have to think about going home soon, Skinner only cleared us vacation till Monday. That's only three days away." As much as she hated to admit it, for the first time in her life, she wanted to stay home, away from work, wanted to curl up on the couch with him, goofing on daytime TV.

"Scully," he sighed, popping open yet another beer. I don't think the FBI would mind if we called in another week." He tried to sound light, but she knew he was serious.

"Aww Come on Mulder, who else are they gonna get to rid the world of mutants and fluke man?" She smiled, rubbing her hand over his back, and feeling a little hurt when he pulled away.

"I am serious Scully. At least when I taught high school students, the worst thing I had to worry about was getting to the day care center late." He threw the bottle top out of the yard for a home run.

"What are you saying Mulder?" She noted him yanking free another unopened beer bottle. That's four she counted silently.

"I don't know Scully, but you are starting to nag—"He hadn't meant for that to come out, but by the time he looked up to apologize, Scully was gone.

"All right, score one more for me." He yelled to himself. He got up and headed for the phone in the house.

Dana wasn't sure what had upset her more, Mulder's impression of Ralph Cramden, or the amount of beer he had consumed in the hour she was out there with him. She had noticed his drinking before, even albeit tactfully, had brought up a conversation with him regarding the problems Bill Mulder had the bottle. She knew he had only started drinking more than usual, but he had begun to show a real knack for it.

The front door slammed, and Mulder met her in the kitchen. "Scully, "he cooed "Dana," giving her a soft smile that she could never resist. "I am just not myself lately. And" He waved his finger at her. "I happen to know that you were told to go easy on me, though I don't think that applies to the bedroom." He flashed her one of his infamous leers.

"Mulder," she whined. "If I would have known you were this much work, I would have kicked you out of bed." She grinned, troubles forgotten.

"Oh Scully you love me and you know it," He kissed her and led her up stairs.

She lay tangled in him, bodies so entwined they could not tell where one ended and the other began. He slept there, a lazy afternoon nap, something the old Mulder was never known for.

It was sad to her that there was an Old Mulder as opposed to the new one. He was always a lost soul, and maybe that is what she found so appealing in him. Now, he lay a broken piece of the intricate puzzle she used to love to try to crack. He wasn't himself, and she knew he would fight her on returning to DC.

"Mulder," she nudged him when she noticed him opening his eyes. "Mulder, we have to return to DC tomorrow, and I know you don't want to. But I can't stand to wear the same clothes anymore, and you have to feed your fish."

"He turned to face her, kissed her on the forehead. "Yeah," he mulled, "We'll leave in the morning." He kissed her deeply, running his hands up under her shirt. He never got enough of her, he never wanted to.

They pulled up to Mulder's apartment the next morning. Maggie had packed Mulder a care package of home cooked goodies, not the least of which his favorite cookies. "You wanna come up?" He asked, cookie dangling precariously out of his mouth. He reached over and grabbed her hand, pleading with his touch. He didn't like the idea of being in that apartment alone, and he hoped she had picked up on his wordless pleas.

A slew of emotions ran through her mind in a matter of seconds before she answered him. On one hand she needed to get home and check her messages, pick up her dry cleaning, and a whole host of other errands that had not been done in the week they lazily hung around her mother's. And yet, in his eyes, she could see he did not want to go up there alone, or be in there alone for that matter. "I tell you what Mulder." She spoke before the idea had completed itself. "You run upstairs and grab a few things and come stay with me for a while."

Not skipping a beat Mulder was back to his old ways. "Why Dana Katherine Scully, what kind of boy do you think I am?" He waggled his eyebrows at her. "What kind of boy do you want me to be?" He said jumping out of the car to return before she changed her mind.

"Yay", she thought to herself. Now he can get drunk at my house. He returned ten minutes later with a larger than appropriate bag stuffed hastily with his things.

"Mulder, how long you planning on staying?" She hadn't meant it as an accusation, but the fragile egoed man shrunk from it.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't take being there without Dylan." He lolled his head as they drove off.

"Mulder, she said as the car idled at a red light." You are welcome to stay with me for as long as you want." She rubbed his leg, and this time he did not pull away.

"Is that a proposal Miss Scully?" He asked teasing.

"Shut up Mulder." She laughed peeling out into the afternoon.

"Scully, what do you say we cut outta here after a liquid lunch? " He leered suggestively at her.

"We agreed Mulder, "she whispered as if they were not the only two people in the basement. "None of that here, do want them to find out and.."

"What Scully? Split us up? How about I march up to Skinner's office right now and tell him every nasty thing you do to my body." He grinned grabbing her from behind.

"MULDER!" She yelled, fighting the laughter that came easily.

"Scully, if they find out, so what? I love you and I don't really think my heart is in it here anymore. I look around and this office seems to belong to a different man." He sat back down and tried to read over a case that was opened on his desk.

They had been back at work for three weeks, and nothing had changed. Mulder still walked around the office as if he was in someone else's nightmare. She even suggested a field assignment, to which he shot down almost before she finished the sentence.

"Mulder, at some point you are going to have to make a decision about the rest of your life." She sat on the desk in front of him, flashing more leg than usual.

"God Scully, you sound like my high school guidance counselor, and I had fantasies about her too." He was afraid of what was going on under his desk.

"Mulder, focus for once I am serious."

"So am I, man my guidance counselor was hot, not as hot as you but.." he was really getting excited.

"Mulder,"

"—Ms. Gonzales, oh man I will never forget her, she had these big beautiful.."

"MULDER!"

"—brown eyes and she walked like…hey come to think of it, she was short too." He grinned, tracing a finger lazily over her exposed skin.

It had become more difficult to keep him focused on one thing, not that he wasn't always a little borderline ADHD; but at least he had a purpose then. Now, he is just floating around to keep me happy she thought. That and to get a twelve pack after work and down it while watching TV. His once gorgeous hazel eyes had begun to lose their shine, his skin was lackluster at best and he had begun to take on a smell. The smell of fermenting flesh.

She kept promising that she would talk to him, only to lose her nerve when the puppy eyes got turned on her. He didn't talk about Dylan anymore, she just kind of faded into the day to day, or he had finally managed to drink his memories of her into oblivion.

And she was starting to lose interest in him. That was the part she did not even realize until he had lived with her for a few weeks. She knew it was because of all the drinking, and the passive aggressive behavior that came with it. Her mother had warned her that they needed to find a way to find some closure on Dylan, and late last night Scully had devised a plan. The one thing that Mulder said hurt the worst was that there was no proof that she ever existed, no grave to visit, or pictures to pour over. When they had arrived at work, Scully arranged for a fellow agent to come down to the basement for a visit. She didn't know how Mulder would react to this, but she had to try something, he was sinking fast.

When Agent Faust showed up, Mulder had a quizzically comical look on his face. Visitors in the office were a rare and not welcome occurrence. Faust, a younger man with blond hair and a questionable scar across his left cheek grinned his hellos "wow, " he began turning around to take in the view like a hick's first visit to the big apple. "I can't believe I am down here."

"Hey, Billy-Bob" Mulder retorted. "How can we help? You lost?" Faust either didn't catch the sarcasm, or chose to ignore a snide comment from a senior agent.

"I am here at the request of Agent Scully." He smiled—again.

Mulder glanced up at his red headed partner who had come to stand behind him, arms folded and ey6ebrow poised to raise at any given moment. "Scully?" He asked getting a little agitated. "He's not a shrink is he?"

Both agents laughed nervously, "No Mulder, Agent Faust came down here as a favor to me for a favor to you." She grinned down at him.

"Huh?" Mulder was confused, which lately was not an uncommon occurrence.

Faust took his cue and set down the laptop that he had tucked under his arm. He typed a few keys and turned the screen toward Mulder. "I was told, by Agent Scully that you two had a sort of missing child case going on. She asked if I could come down and help put together a photo that would be more current." He grinned

Mulder's face was unreadable, until he turned to Scully out of the view of Faust and mouthed an honest thank you to her. She smiled her acceptance at him and let the two men set to work.

Three hours later, the facial program popped out a picture that made Mulder gasp for breath. He kept it hid, as far as this agent knew, he was trying to find some alien abducted baby. But it was his baby, and looking at a picture of her after having not seen her in over a month tore his heart out. He thought this would be therapeutic, the psychologist in him needed to find that all important closure of her life. Yet, seeing such a dead on picture of her somehow re opened a wound he was not ready to let heal.

Scully thanked Faust for his help, taking the disk with the photos on it and promising him the Knicks tickets as soon as the 'case' was solved. She wanted to get the Agent out of there before he was a witness to Mulder's collapse.

"I need to leave," He grabbed up the pictures of Dylan, and headed for the door.

"Mulder, wait let me come with you..." But he was already gone.

When you reach a certain level of blitzed the time still passes, but at some point you cease to notice or care. Mulder sat on the bar stool of a bar he knew Scully would NEVER think to look for him in. Every red neck in the tri state area was crammed into the Rusty Bucket O Nails for happy hour. Most looking for a date for the evening, or meeting up with one or more friends for a night of forgetting the woes of life, Mulder graduated from the George Thorogood School of Drinking-he drank alone. One hand clutched the beer bottle, while the other gingerly held on to a memory that had erupted from the computer of a stranger.

What got him the worst is that Faust had managed to capture the eyes perfectly. He even noted how much they looked like Agent Scully's. He wanted to puke as soon as he had said it. How often did those eyes get turned on him in a toy store? Or for her favorite cereal, she had a way of getting anything she wanted out of him, he would have happily given her his last drop of blood if that was what she wanted.

He ordered another beer and was surprised to see the bar beginning to empty out. He felt like he had just got there. He downed his beer and ordered one more as the maid called for last call. He ambled toward the door and began looking for a cab.

What he found was Scully, standing in front of her car with one eyebrow raised.

"How did you? NO, you didn't let the guys put that tracking device in me that night did you? I was drunk Scully" She wasn't laughing, she got into the driver's side as he passed out in the passenger's side of the car.

Morning made his head hurt, he didn't remember how many beers he had drank the night before, but they all came back to him in the bathroom. He sat with his head against the toilet, trying to catch his racing heart. "Scully," he called. "Scu-Lee?" he called again.

He wobbled through the apartment, and that was when he realized he was in his own place, and the suitcase he had taken to Scully's was parked in front of the bedroom door.

Oh Shit he mouthed. She finally ditched me.

HEy Yall, I have to say thank you for the tremendous reviews!

Faye, man you are sooo good, maybe I should just let you write the rest of this one L:LOL

If you guys are not happy with the results, wait it gets better ok?