The One She Lost
By Maddy
Summary: Buffy reflects on a life-changing event that happened when she made a wish
Rating: G, sorry.
Spoilers: Nothing very specific, but you should know that Tara is dead (who doesn't know that?).
Timeline: Sometime towards the end of season 7
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Joss does.
Feedback: I'd love some, thank you very much.
Author's Notes: The idea for this fic came from an article in a Buffy mag, I don't want to give too much away. Just read it.
(the story)
If you could have one wish, just one, what would it be?
You play the question over and over in your head. You've been confronted with many decisions in your life, that was one of the hardest, you tell yourself. One wish that would change everything, your life, the lives of those around you and in this case, a person who is dead. Was dead. But you know it was the right choice to make.
3 days ago, the Powers That Be asked you to make a wish, anything you wanted as a reward for what you have done and will do for the world. Naturally, you wanted to win the big battle against the big bad, then your mind drifted to more selfish options. Should you wish to be a normal girl? Do you wish to have never been the Slayer?
No, you realise that there is something you've wanted since before you knew you wanted it. Him. Always and forever…him. Do you wish for him to be human? Or to have his soul permanently bound? To be with your soulmate, finally, no longer kept apart…to love him, and to have him love you back without reservations, limits, doubts…just like you've always wanted.
But there is no way you're going to make that decision without talking to him about it first. So you work up the courage to ring him and tell him your plans.
His answer is no.
You want to ask why, but you can't because you're already crying. He tried to calm you down, tries to explain his reasons. You don't want to hear it. You slam down the phone in anger, despair, rejection…heartache. You cry as your heart – and soul – breaks once more, again by him.
The phone rings, instinct tells you it's him. You don't pick it up, it keeps ringing. But downstairs, someone picks up the phone. You think about telling them to hang up on him. But before you make up your mind, your best friend knocks on the door to your bedroom.
The red-head opens the door despite you telling her to leave you alone. She explains that he told her what had happened, and that he was now speaking to your sister. She says that she's sorry he doesn't want the wish to be used on you and him. It doesn't make you feel better. Your best friend finally persuades you to talk to him, then leaves the room.
He says that he's sorry, that he still wants to be with you – wants you – as much as ever. You try hard to believe that, once again, he's broken your heart and left you for dead. But as he continues to explain his reasons for saying no, you realise that you won't hate him for it.
He says that he needs to deserve his redemption, his reward, not be given to him on a silver platter. He says that he loves you, you find yourself repeating the words back to him. You will always love him, that will never change. You say that you understand.
He tells you about a prophecy that says he will Shanshu. Live to die. Human. One day, some day, you and he will be together whether you wish for it or not. You and he were inevitable, destiny, fate…forever. He will hold your heart for eternity and you're okay with that.
You tell him once more that you love him, he says it back, saying your name like a whisper, as though your actual name is precious. You do not say goodbye, but vow to talk to him soon. He asks what you'll wish for instead, you don't have a clue.
Despite the fact that you understand his reasons, you scream out in pain as you hang up the phone. Your best friend runs into the room and holds you as you cry. You're once again crying over him – because of him – and once again she holds you. As she tells you it will be okay, you know exactly what to wish for.
Once your tears have dried up, you ask to be alone, your best friend leaves and some time later you find her sitting at the kitchen bench reading that day's paper. She asks how you're doing, you answer truthfully. She asks what has made you so happy. You tell her you've made your wish, she excitedly asks what.
"Tara." You tell her and turn around to see Tara standing several feet behind you. You smile widely as you start crying. Tara smiles, her own eyes welling with tears.
Now days later, you know it was the right thing to do. Your best friend deserves to be with her soulmate just as much as you do. He will be human one day, you will be together one day.
But right now your best friend is happy beyond belief, and the one she lost is back with her – just like it should be – you think, smiling. Tara is back and well worth your wish.
The End.
Just for the record, I will be writing another version of this where Buffy does wish for Angel to be human or have his soul bound, not sure which yet. But I love the Willow/Tara story and I was devestated when Tara died, so I had to write this, Maddy.