Disc;amer: I don't own anything related to Lizzie Mcguire. The song Nobody's Home belongs to Avril Lavigne.
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again
If you ask me how my world started crumbling I couldn't possibly tell you. I barely know myself! I thought I had it all but I guess careers have faults and friends can turn out to be not really your friends and you can all of a sudden feel so lonely. I became a different person. Hiding from the truth behind a false image of strength and independence. I might have not deserved it but I got a second chance. He called me. Asked me if I wanted to come home. I turned him down. I wasn't me anymore. I haven't been for a long time.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
Where did all that independence go? Where is all that strength when I need it? How did my life get so complicated? For a girl who has everything I'm sure not happy enough. I started to fall apart. I was less sharp. I need protection and I need some one to be there. But when you're a fake a lot of your friends turn out to be fair weather friends. I started to dream of what it would be like if I had done things differently. And the worst part is that it wouldn't be some one else it would just be me without this stupid disguise. But now if I'm not what I'm pretending to be then I can't be with all my "friends" and how would every one else react?
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
One night I was just looking out the window at the pouring rain and as a song came on the radio I remembered how it was his favorite song and how we'd always dance to it. That was before I started building up my walls. I picked up the phone and dilled his phone number by memory. There were several long beeps and then the answering machine came on. I put down the receiver and almost burst out in tears. But the person I've become doesn't cry. Damn the person I've become. I knew I couldn't ever find comfort in any one but him. I needed to return to my old life. I wanted to I couldn't let him slip away from me. The world felt so cold. I guess it's always been that way but I was just starting to feel it.
Open your eyes and look outside
Find a reason why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you left behind
The next day I took a train back home. The whole way there I looked outside the window watching the flashing scenery. I kept trying to plan what I was going to say to him. How would I explain? I finally decided that if I wanted things to go well I needed to tell the truth. But I still needed a reason for everything. I was still me but a me that every one had forgotten in the shadow of this new person. Every one except for maybe him. I was cold and scared. No longer secure in my little world. I was revealed to the light of lies and betrayal. Betrayal by friends, partners, men. And now I just hoped that he wouldn't shut the door in my face. I hoped that he still loved me. I tried so desperately to find the warmth that was once there but I guess I can't get that without him.
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs
I promised myself to stay strong. I needed to show him that I was still strong. That I wasn't as desperate as I was. Sure things were tough but it wasn't the end of the world. I needed to show him that. Make him believe what I wanted him to believe. But being him he'll probably see right through me. Then I started getting scared. What if he turned me down. What if he didn't love me anymore? What was I suppose to do then?
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
I got off the train and headed through town. Nervous now. I'd get to him I was sure.
I've been hurt and I've made a choice not to make anymore foolish mistakes based on crap like pride. This was my last chance. I knew that if I stopped I would get scared and turn back and return to the lie I was living. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't allow myself to do that.
Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's fallen behind
She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace
She's all over the place
Yes I've hidden all my feelings. Pretended… Al my dreams have been ether fake or secret. I've started to go crazy trying to deal with everything. That has led to some kind of social shut down. Like I kept watching my back. I couldn't relax for a minute. I never could fit in. Because the people who I liked only saw who I seemed like because of the image I had created for myself. And some times I couldn't stand the people that would've gotten along great with this new me. I stopped believing in what I always believed in. I was turning into something not at all human. I was so messed up. But it was time to end all that.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where she lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside
I knocked on the door. Nothing. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. I knocked again. Nothing. I thought 'Maybe he isn't home.' I decided to come back later. The I herd some one behind me say "so you finally decided to come back huh?" I swept around and saw his best friend standing there.
"Yea I guess…" said. "He's not home so I 'll come back later.
"It's no use" he answered. "He's not coming home."
"What?" I asked. "What do you mean? Did he move? Can you give me his new address? Look I need to talk to him!"
"Look at this!" He cried out and threw a newspaper at her.
I looked down and my heart seized up in pain.
"How?" I managed to ask.
"He was drunk…I think he meant to get drunk."
"Why?"
"Because damn it! He was tired of waiting for you. But he didn't want to live without you!"
Tears whelmed up in my eyes. And this time I didn't care.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
Twenty year old Isabella Perichi started to cry and let go of the news paper with the heading "Ex Superstar Paolo Valisari Killed In Car Accident."