Chapter 2.
„...That Has A Beginning..."
During the way to the hospital two men ran to Link and Morpheus and put The One on a hand-barrow. Although the hospital was full of seriously injured people, the doctors found and prepared a bed for Neo and started to take care of him. First they tried to see what happened with his eyes. They removed the material, which was tied around his head. They had to fix the burnt skin and try to bring back his eyesight.
It took few hours to stabilize his breathing and bandage the wounds on his body. But still they couldn't fix his eyes. It was impossible fot the doctors. They didn't have enough medicine and equipment to fully heal them.
Suddenly three small robots flew into the room. Everybody stepped back from the mechanic creatures. They still felt fear, they still hated these metal killers. But from the other side the robots couldn't harm them anymore. It was peace, PEACE...Three small machines landed on Neo's unconscious body. They focused on his eyes. Using their little metal arms, they started to make something with his face. The robots were talking with each other with low and high signals, which sounded like groans or squeaks. Their metal tentacles were turning into many kinds of different surgery tools. And when one of the doctors tried to step a little bit closer, one of the machines turned back and screeched at him so the man almost fell down and had to move back.
After an hour the machines were done. They left the room and flew to another. When people knew the robots were far enough, they walked to Neo. His face wasn't burnt anymore and his eyes...they were fully recovered. Suddenly a weak moan left Neo's mouth. „Trinity..."
He opened his eyes a little, but than hurry closed them. It was too bright, everything was so bright. It hurt his eyes, it burnt them. It was like if they were filled with fire. And those whispers, these sounds. He hated them. He was scared of them. Why? Because he couldn't find any familiar voices. He still had Smith's words in his head, the feeling of pain and dying, and the feeling of love, which now turned into fear. He was broken. He was lost. He hated this place, wherever he was. He wanted to die, he wanted to comfort his heart and mind and just forget about all this pain he was feeling now. He could feel the pain everywhere and nowhere. „Let me die..." he whispered once more and fainted.
-„Get Morpheus ! Now !"- a doctor shouted to his helper, who jumped out from the room, and after a short run, bumped into Morpheus.
-„Sir ! He's alive! He had said something, but now he's unconscious again! You should see him right now!"-shouted the helper. It was a young boy, about 17 yeas old.
-„Lead me please."- he said to the boy.
Soon they were in Neo's room. The doctors stood around the bed where The One was lying. But when they saw Morpheus, they took a step back.
-„How long ago did he woke up?"-he asked.
-„About 4 minutes ago. He said something about Trinity and then fainted. What did he mean?"- asked the main doctor.
Morpheus went silent. He couldn't speak. This name broke him into peaces. He forgot about her when Neo was found.
-„Sir, are you allright?"- the doctor asked.
-„She...-Morpheus started - She was someone very close to Neo...and me...The bravest woman I've ever knew." Deep in his mind he thought, that if Neo was alive, maybe Trinity survived too?
Neo started to move and tried to sit up, but it wasn't possible for him right now. So Morpheus helped him. One of the doctors put a big pillow under his back, so he would sit in a comfortable position. Neo opened his eyes and looked at the blankets which were covering him. The surrounding was still too bright for him, and only the dark blankets helped him hold his eyes open. He was shivering and almost fell down from the bed, but Morpheus's hand caught him.
-„Trinity..."- he said with a weak voice.
-„Neo..."- Morpheus tried to say something but than stopped. Neo's eyes turned in his direction. There was something strange about them. They were no longer brown, no longer warm and understanding. They were black. Just like death. They were cold, empty and sad.
-„She's dead"- Neo added. Morpheus could barely hear his words. „She's dead...Trinity..." He lowered his head and started to cry. He didn't care that everybody were watching him. The tears came out from his eyes like a river. He couldn't stop them. He didn't want to. He just staired at the blankets, his hands were gripping them tightly. Hate grew inside of his. He hated himself. Why couldn't he help her, he thought. He brought her once back from death. She brought him back from death. So why didn't he try to give her life again? But now it as too late. She was gone and she will never come back. He will never talk with her, hold her, kiss her, touch her or even see her again. He lost the only thing that made him feel comfortable in this world. His only strength now became his weakness. Was it ment to be like this? Was she ment to die and leave him with a broken heart? But it's his fault that she's gone. He should have figured out that something wasn't right.. He should've go with her then, when she went to check the strange sounds from the back of the Logos. He should've hold her tight when they were falling. He should've stay with her when they crushed. He should've try to bring her back. He shouldn't have let her go with him in this trip. He was guilty for her death. He was her killer.
Morpheus didn't know how to react, neither knew the doctors. He could only stand and watch the man, who seemed to lost his only sense of life. Soon Morpheus also let go few tears. He couldn't hold his emotions back anymore. It was too painful even for him.
-„I've killed her...- Neo sobbed – I've killed her..." After these words a line of blood went from his mouth. The tears mixed with it. He could no longer breathe. He fell on the pillow and closed his eyes. His heart stopped. The doctors ran to him in a second. Morpheus jumped away in shock.
-„What happened?"-he shouted.
-„Sir, step back please" was the only answer he got.
The doctors started to check what was wrong. Neo's heart stopped beating. They had to make a heart message. For five minutes nothing happened. But finally Neo started to breathe again, but his breathing was very weak.
-„I thing it's the experiences. Too many emotions. We have to make him sleep for at least few days or he can kill himself. His heart is too weak. If he worries like this again, he will not survive the next attack."- said the main doctor
Neo could hear the doctor's words. „Death is a sleep" - he thought. He wanted to fall into this endless sleep and wake up next to a person, who will make him warm again. Next to Trinity.
The doctors gave him some kind of a specific, which made Neo sleep for almost two weeks. They hoped that sleep will make him stronger. „Stronger? How?" Neo thought.
He finally woke up. The light was burning his eyes again. It was too bright. Again he could hear the voices, but this time they were more friendly. He opened his eyelids. Morpheus, Niobe, Zee, Link, Kid and Ghost were sitting around his bed, talking. But when they saw, that Neo woke up, they stopped. Neo sat on the bed. Everybody staired at his eyes, a chill ran through their backs. Ghost, who was sitting near the door, put his forehead on his arms. Kid tried to run away from Neo's black eyes, which were now looking around, observing his friends, studying them one by one. Finally Morpheus broke the silence.
-„How are you feeling Neo?"
-„Fine."-he answered quietly and low.
Than Link tried to rise up the situation. „Glad you are here. You're our hero! Neo – The Hero !"- he smiled. „You've done a miracle, Neo! You've ended the war!"
-„We ended..."-Neo said, almost whispering. Everybody knew who was he talking about.
-„Neo...- Zee stepped closer to him. She gently touched his dark hair."Thank you. You'll see you will feel better. Zion is thankful to you. Without you it wouldn't exist now..."
-„I wasn't alone..."- he looked at her."She..."- he cutted. He couldn't say anything else. He felt the tears rolling from his eyes again. He lowered his head, fell on the pillow and started to stair at the wall by his right side.
-„What happened to her, Neo?"- Ghost couldn't wait any longer. Trinity was like a sister for him. He loved her. He had to know what happened to her, is she dead or alive, how was she killed and who is responsible for it? He stood up and said a little louder, pain was rising in his voice „What happened to Trinity? She went with you. You were supposed to look after her. So what the hell happened!"
-„That's enough Ghost ! Leave !"- Morpheus shouted.
-„No..."- Neo whispered. „Stay!" He pulled himself up and sat on the bed. He looked on Ghost, than closed the eyes, trying to stop the tears. „You want to know what happened? I'll tell you."- his anger rised in him. Now he was speaking with his full, deep voice, hiding his real emotions. „We were heading to the Machine City, when she heard something. She went to check what was it. I stayed to pilot the Logos. Than I heard a fight. I caught a gun and run there. I saw Bane holding a razor to...- he swallowed. He couldn't say her name.- to her neck. Something was wrong with Bane, he wasn't himself. I wanted to make a trade. Me for her. He trew her in a hole and locked her there. Than we started to fight. I was winning. But than he caught the EMP gun, which I was holding. It made some destruction to the ship. When I finally pulled back, he threw a damaged electricity cabel to my face. It burnt my eyes."- he touched the skin around his eyelids. He knew it was healed.-„Thank you for healing..." He made a short pause. „Although my eyesight was destroyed, I could still see Bane. But he didn't look like him anymore. He looked more like Smith. It was Smith."
-„Wait, you're saying that Smith took Bane's body? And how could you see anything? You said you were blind!"- Link asked.
-„Yes...But I could see the energy. Don't ask me how, because I don't know."
-„Dammit. What did you do?"- Link asked again, with a little excitement.
-„I followed him. Than I grabbed a crow-bar and hit him with all of my strength."
-„You've killed him?"- Niobe asked.
-„Yes. When I was sure it was over I went to free her..."
-„Trinity!"- Ghost cutted. „Her name is Trinity! Why are you so afraid to say her name?"
Neo went silent.
-„Ghost...don't...Neo continue..." – Niobe pleased.
Neo's voice was much weaker now. „I could see only the energy and warmth created by the machines and by human's body, but nothing more. I couldn't pilot the Logos." He looked at Ghost. Neo was now filled with anger and saddness. „Trinity had to pilot. She became my eyes."He staired at him for a few moments, than lowered his head and continued. „An army of squids flew on us. Thousands, maybe millions of robots. I rised my hand to stop them. I stopped only the first squad, but there was too many. Trinity wanted to fly above them. We broke through the clouds. She said she saw the Sun...I could only feel it's warmth. She said it was beautiful...Than we came lower and the next army of machines attacked us. This time I couldn't stop them. They hit with us. I could feel as they flew through my body like the air but they didn't harm me. Than we crushed..."
Neo's body was growing weaker, he started to shake sligthly, his arms were holding the blankets tightly. He lost the words. He didn't know how to describe it now. He just staired in the empty space, feeling as the tears broke out again. He hated this feeling.
-„And what happened?"- Ghost asked with fear. Morpheus supported his chin with a hand, pain showed on his face. He was sure what Neo will say next. Everyone focused on Neo, who was looking more and more pale.
Neo swallowed –„I called her name. She didn't give any response. I called her again, asking where is she. I could hear her. Her voice was weak. I crowled on the floor, wishing to find her. I found her hand. It was colder than earlier, much colder. I searched for the rest of her body. And I felt something...It was cold like the ice and hard. There was so many of it. It was running through her body. I could feel her blood. Her hole body was pierced with metal." He lost his breath, again feeling, as if his heart was going brake into millions of pieces. He shook his head.
Zee could hear the pain in his voice. She couldn't do anything more but hug him and try to calm him down. Neo was shaking. Morpheus was scared that he will have another attack.
-„Neo, please, calm down, please. Shhh...Stop crying. It's allright. It's over. Okey? Neo...please calm down..."- Zee was whispering to Neo, who burried his face in her shoulder. His hands were still holding the blanket. He could only cry. Nothing would change the past now. The others watched him and also started to sob quietly. They didn't know were they crying because of Trinity's death, or because of Neo's desperation. They were helpless. Even Ghost couldn't stand the view. He walked out and hit the wall with his fist, leaving a mark on it's metal surface. Niobe looked at Morpheus who was now more worried about Neo. They've already lost Trinity. Now he didn't want to loose Neo. Niobe touched Morpheus's hand. He pulled her in a hug. She layed her head under his chin and watched as Zee tried to comfort Neo.
-„We still don't know how the war ended"- Niobe whispered in Morpheus's ear.
-„Not today, Niobe. Not today."
The next morning, Morpheus came to check on Neo. He was lying still in the bed. He didn't move even when Morpheus entered the room. His eyes were widely opened. He was staring without blinking and any purpose in the air.
-„Hello Neo."
-„Goodmorning Morpheus."- he still didn't look at him.
-„Did you sleep well?"
-„I didn't sleep so the answer is „no"..."
Morpheus walked closer to him and sat down on a chair. „I apologize but I need an answer from you." Neo didn't make any move. „How did you end the war?"
Neo didn't speak loud, it was more like a half-whisper „I made a deal with the machines."
-„What kind of deal?"
Neo turned his black eyes on Morpheus. „I had to fight the virus - Agent Smith and the machines obligated to give us peace...It was an honest deal. I only wanted peace from them."
Morpheus was still asking „Did they say „yes"?"
-„At first, no, they didn't agree. But then they plugged me into the Matrix. Smith was waiting for me. His copies where everywhere. But I fought only with the real one..."
-„Clean fight? It's not normal for an agent..."
-„He wasn't an agent anymore. He became a virus."
-„How did you won?"
Neo turned his sight up again. „I didn't...He became me."
-„How? Wouldn't he take the rule over you?"
-„He became me Morpheus. We both died. It was the only way to stop him. Smith was the fire, I was the water. He tried to turn me into a virus, but I took control over the disease. Than I turned his own weapon against him."
-„What weapon?"- Morpheus asked.
-„He wanted to rule everything. He wanted control. I gave it to him. I gave him my soul. I sold my life. But it was too much for him to take. So I took the control over him. Than I only had to end the fight. Killing myself, ment killing Smith."-Neo smiled. „We were both lying in the rain. He was asking me „Why?". And I didn't give him any answer. I was happy to die."- than his smile fainted. „I hoped I will die. I didn't want to come back. Not without her. But you gave me no choice. And you said Morpheus that there's always a choice. So show me? What is the red pill and what is the blue pill now? Or maybe they have changed colours? Are they green and pink? Or maybe black and white? What choice do I have! – he yelled – What fuckin' purpose do I have now! Tell me, Morpheus! TELL ME!"
-„Neo, you know the answer.- he was calm.- You've already started to follow your path. And it's up to you when and where will you end it. I can't give you any choice, because you will make it for yourself." Morpheus was scared of his own words, but he wanted to tell only the truth. „Get some rest Neo."- he added, stood from his chair and walked to the door. But before he got out, Neo asked him:
-„When will I start to work?"
-„As soon as you will feel better."
„That means never..." – Neo thought.
A week later Neo was finally free from the hospital's bed. He could come back to his old Zion room - his and Trinity's room. But when Link and Morpheus walked Neo to it, he almost lost his conscious. Luckily he was grabbed by the two strong men. He didn't want to spend time in this place. „Too many memories, to many memories..."
Night after night he couldn't sleep. He didn't want to dream. He would always dream about her. Nightmares. Everytime he was starting to dream, he was seeing her dying. She was pale and cold, covered in blood. She was always looking straight into his eyes. Than she was slowly closing her own and disappearing. He always saw the metal wires running through her body. She was always so deadly beatiful...He wanted to join her. Once he dreamed as he lies down, next to his lover, takes her hand in his and closes his eyes. But than she walked away without him, leaving him on the cold, metal floor.
After the dreams he always woke up with a quiet or a loud scream. He was always covered with sweat, tears and sometimes blood. One night was like this. The blood came from his mouth again. He didn't take the medicine, which the doctors gave him. He waited and hoped to die. But someone found him. Someone would always find him, sooner or later, and help him.
The only way to forget about the pain, about HER, was to work hard as hell. He worked and looked for more duties, just to forget everything.
He didn't try to kill himself yet, but everybody where sure one day he will. Especially after the day when she returned to Zion.