The Letter (II)

Scully read through the entire thing once, allowing her emotions to play across her face, hiding nothing from Mulder who was watching her intently. Once she had reached the end she put down the pages and turned to face him. He met her eyes for a moment and then dropped his gaze. Scully noted the evasion and realised what was wrong.

"You're embarrassed that you wrote this." She stated.

Mulder simply nodded, unable to trust his voice.

"Why?"

Scully's simple question caused Mulder to jerk his head up and look at her in astonishment. He opened and closed his mouth a few times in a fair impersonation of the fish behind him before finding his voice.

"Why?" He barked out incredulously. "Why am I embarrassed that I wrote a letter telling you that I hated you, spied on you, love you, need you, rely on you, can't go a week without you – Scully that thing has lost me any respect I ever had from you and it's going to destroy our partnership – the one thing in this life that means anything to me! I don't even understand why you're here, why you don't hate me . . ."

"Mulder, no, please." Scully interrupted his ramblings. "I don't hate you and you have not ruined our partnership. Nor have you lost my respect. Telling me all this was incredibly brave, I – I don't think I could have done it, I would never have known what to say, how to put it so I wouldn't – what?"

Scully broke off as she noticed that Mulder had not been listening for a while and was staring at her in disbelief.

"What do you mean, I haven't ruined out partnership? How can you work with me after what I just told you?"

Scully looked at him in surprise and some pity for his self-hatred.

"Oh Mulder, don't you get it? I was trying to tell you just then but . . ."

"Tell me what?"

Scully paused, trying to gather her courage to finally reveal to Mulder what she had been keeping hidden for so long now. He just sat there silently, expecting nothing but fearing the worst. In her mind Scully was a having an intense debate, trying to dissuade herself from telling him.

"Why are you even considering this?" The ever-present voice of reason piped up. "If They ever get wind of this They will use it against you – separate you."

"They've done that before" she replied. "Why would this make a difference, and he needs me – he's in so much pain."

"He's been in pain before and you haven't blurted this out."

"That's different – this is because of me."

"It's not your fault."

"No, but it is my responsibility. He trusts me, I can't lie to him now, now about this – I can't"

Suddenly Mulder's quiet voice interjected into her thoughts.

"Can't what?"

Realising she had spoken aloud she blushed and then looked up at him. Turning her back on the internal demon and squashing all remaining doubts Scully took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

" I can't lie to you about how I feel anymore. I could never take the initiative because I thought that I wasn't – well, I'm not Phoebe or Diana, I'm not tall or busty or a believer and I was afraid, so afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way, but now that I know you do . . ."

"Feel the same way? Scully please, you're talking in riddles and I can't afford to misread you on this – tell me how you feel - please."

Scully only paused for a few seconds though it felt like a lifetime to Mulder, but finally she whispered it, so quietly that he wouldn't have heard her if he hadn't been listening so intently.

"I love you."

Her words echoed in his mind, repeating themselves over and over as he willed himself to believe them.

"Do you – do you mean that?" He croaked, barely able to keep the desperation and hope out of his voice.

Scully slowly nodded but saw that this was not enough for him. She cupped his face in her hands and spoke.

"Yes Mulder, I love you. I have done for a long time. I wish that I'd had the courage to tell you before, but I'm telling you now, and I mean every word."

Mulder sat absolutely still for a moment and then dropped his head as his shoulders began to shake.

"Mulder? Mulder are you OK?" Scully's slightly panicked voice reached his ears and as he raised his head to look at her she saw that his hazel eyes were sparkling with tears.

"OK? Scully, you've just given me something that I never even dared hope for. I was so sure that you'd hate me, that you wouldn't love me back – I just can't believe it!"

Scully felt her own eyes fill with tears as she tried to reply.

"Mulder . . ."

She got no further as he suddenly recalled something she had said earlier.

"Scully, how can you compare yourself to Diana and Phoebe? They played mind games with me, hurt me, if you were like them – no I can't even imagine you being so cruel."

"Mulder I didn't mean that – I meant appearance wise, I mean I'm not exactly your type." She stuttered a little, trying not to let him see that this was a sore point for her, but he immediately picked up on it and set about reassuring her.

"My type? Scully since the moment I fell in love with you it has only been petite redheads that have caught my eye that's how whipped I am."

For a moment the atmosphere in the room became very tense as they both realised how deep their feelings ran. Then, filled with joy at the knowledge that Mulder did love her, Scully broke the awkward mood.

"How would you tell – you're red-green colour blind!" she said, laughing through her tears.

Mulder joined her. It was so rare for him to hear her laugh these days that now when she did he couldn't help but try to make the sound last. However, he knew that she still wasn't convinced so he continued with his earlier words.

"Scully, please believe me. It's you that I love, and there will never be anyone else."

The quiet seriousness of Mulder's words calmed Scully's nerves as she accepted the truth of what he was saying. She smiled at him before blushing and trying to apologise.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm still a little insecure."

"You're not the only one" Mulder chuckled quietly. "But lets see what we can do to remedy that."

He slowly lowered his mouth to hers, brushing his lips past hers gently, barely touching; yet they could still feel the electricity just from that contact. He repeated the movement, this time brushing her lips harder and for longer, giving her plenty of time to back away from this, or to change her mind. But when she showed no signs of doing so he captured her mouth in a gentle yet insistent kiss.

Scully had been in a state of semi-shock since his lips had first brushed hers. She had been unable to react but as he began to retreat from her she realised that he was afraid he had gone too far as she was not responding. She quickly grabbed his lower lip with her teeth and kissed him back with all the passion and love that she had for him. Once satisfied that she had conveyed her feelings she pulled back to breathe in some much needed air.

Mulder looked at her sitting only a few inches away with swollen lips and knew that he was lost. He'd never be able to be apart form her know – she'd be sick of him within a week. He grinned ruefully at that thought and in answer to Scully's raised eyebrow he said,

"Just thinking that you don't know what you've gotten yourself into. I'm a little possessive."

Scully snorted with laughter.

"Mulder you've never not been possessive of me! I think I know how to handle it by now. Anyway its you who is in trouble, I don't believe I've ever really introduced you to my jealous side, but its there, and it considers you mine."

"I am yours Scully, for as long as you'll have me."

"That should be a good long time then. Or at least until Skinner catches us in a compromising position in the office and I have to claim sexual harassment."

Mulder looked shocked for a moment, unused to Scully throwing the innuendoes, and then said teasingly,

"So, you'd consider getting down and dirty in the office?

Scully put on her best innocent face and whimpered,

"I have to wait two whole days?"

Mulder stared at her in stunned silence for a moment before tentatively asking,

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" she replied smiling, then suddenly nervous she added, "If you want me."

Mulder whooped in delight, stood and swung her up into his arms.

"Scully, anytime, anywhere, any way, I want you."

Scully laughed and squirmed.

"That's great Mulder, but could you put me down?"

"Not a chance. I warned you about what you were getting yourself into Scully, you brought this upon yourself."

"Well then I guess I'll just have to take the consequences of my actions." She replied sagely.

"Exactly." Mulder said before carrying her into the bedroom and depositing her gently on the bed.

"Now," he mused, "Where to start."