True Friends

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon.

Summary: I was watching The Wish and I suddenly got hit with the inspiration to write a fanfic about how Cordelia's feelings during the episode. Slight AU at the end.

Timeline: set in Cordy's mind during the episode The Wish.

I'm in my room cutting up a picture of my cheating boyfriend and his friends. I cut each out separately letting them fall into a bowl. I hear my messages playing in the background and they're all from Xander. I cry as I think about him, but I realize that by destroying all of my mementos of him, I'll get over him. I set the pictures on fire and I sit back and watch.
I came to school wearing this fabulous new outfit. I walked into school with a new outlook on life ignoring everyone who I normally do. I see Harmony and the group up ahead and we meet in the middle.

We exchange pleasantries and I meet the new girl Anya. She seems nice but another group member catches my attention about dating and I say 'I'm ready and all'. Harmony then shows me a new potential boyfriend. Jonathon. I look at her and she laughs saying 'he won't cheat on me, at least not right away.'

I give her a look and she and the rest of the Cordettes leave. I stare at him and I feel all torn up. 'How could my group do this to me? I was their leader, now I'm the laughing stock of the whole school.'

I continue about my day and then I see Xander, the despicable man. My hand moves to my abdomen where the stitches are. Suddenly my old boyfriend John comes by. I stop him and ask 'is there anything in my teeth?' leaning closer to him. I move my head around to make sure he gets the full view and he follows.

I look over his shoulder and see Xander took it, as I wanted him to. I then step back and I start up a conversation with him. He scoffs and says he doesn't need anymore jokes and if he is seen with one of Xander Harris' castoff he would be so unwanted.'

He leaves and I'm left there feeling empty, tears threatening to fall. Anya appears and we talk about things and I say that Xander is going to realize how over him I am.

I sit with a group of people at the Bronze and fake laugh at what they are saying and then I look over at him. I see that he's mimicking what I am doing. I roll my eyes and tune back into my conversation. I get bored and leave. I walk out of the Bronze and a rude ass boy bumps into me.

A sheer pain rushes through my body as he jostles my wound. I continue on and I hear Buffy's voice. I turn and glare and question her motives. She claims to be a free agent and knows what I'm going through. I prepare for the water works like last night but a vampire attacks and I back away.

Buffy fights it and during the commotion, Buffy pushes him away, towards me and cries 'look out!' but it comes to late and I get shoved into a pile of garbage. Buffy stakes the vamp as I rise. I pick off pieces of trash and glare at her.

The group of ex- Cordettes, as I have dubbed them now, walk by and laugh. I feel the waterworks about to burst but then I come to a conclusion, and I yell at Buffy telling her its all her fault. Everything that has happened to me has been because of her.

The next day I walk next to Anya and I tell her my conclusion. Harmony and the ex-Cordettes walk by and harmony goes 'Oh, hey, it's Garbage Girl. Loved the look last night, Cor. Dumpster chic for the dumped.'

(this is the part where I change things)

I look at them and I can't hold the tears back. I turn and run back to the bathroom. When I get there, I just let the tears fall, I crumble into a wall and just plummet to the floor sobbing out all the tears I had held back the day before.

I faintly hear a door open and I continue to cry. I feel an arm around me and I look up and its Buffy. I look at her and can't come up with a sneer remark for her. I just sit there and lean against her arm for support. She holds me as I cry and cry.

In the distance the bell rings but I can't make myself stand. Buffy remains there and soon she asks, 'Cordy what happened?' I begin to tell her everything from the picture burning to the comment that Harmony had just made.

She continues to hold me and then she turns to me, 'Cordelia, this will pass. If these friends of yours suddenly treat you like dirt because of what happened, then they're not your real friends. Your real friends will always care for you and be there for you. I know you miss him and he misses you.'

I look at her and I see the truth shine through her eyes. 'Really? I mean how can that be? He was making out with Willow.' I question. She countered with 'she was trying to cast a spell on Drusilla for Spike but she got interrupted and it rebounded onto them. They didn't mean any of it.'

She rises and walks away. When she's about to leave she turns back and says, 'don't forget this Cord, your friends will always, always be there for you. Think on that.'

I sit there and think about it. I rise and wash my face. I head out of the bathroom now clear of who my friends are.