Disclaimer: This story is about what happened to Midgar just before Meteor was destroyed. It isn't accurate, nor is it good. It's just my weird imagination. Enjoy ;)

The City of Midgar. A huge land with a massive population reaching millions. Well, not anymore. It used to before the huge riot began just before Meteor was destroyed.

Why did it begin? Because somebody left a Lego brick in somebody's bed. That somebody got divorced and then hit his best friend. Then for no apparent reason that somebody's friend threw an unlit petrol-bomb into a burning tyre yard somewhere in the slums, opposite the Police Station. Then the Police started smoking and suddenly decided to magically pull out M4s and shoot everybody.

Yep. See how everything doesn't relate to anything else? Exactly. The reason why everyone was going mad was the same reason why people go mad in GTA games. BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT. Now you have the prologue deeply adjusted into your brain lowering your I.Q by about 76, I reckon I should just get on with the story now.

March 23rd. The whole of Midgar is on fire. Red 13 is in hospital due to getting excited by a flaming skyscraper and leaping through one of the windows.

Tifa is cowering in a well, which isn't a very good place to hide, since people drop bricks on her head now and again.

Barrett is on top of the remains of Shinra Corp, Sniping all the people that look like humans. So that's a lot of people. At least Cait Sith is happy.

He managed to bugger off to the Golden Saucer and get a job as a living tea-cosy. The Mog he was riding? He fell off the train cart while on the way there. He hasn't been seen since. Cait Sith is currently having trouble walking. Well you gotta admit, you don't see him walking a lot do you? Besides, he spends six hours a day wrapping himself around a scolding hot tea pot.

Aeris, as we know, is now kicking herself for letting Sephiroth kill her. She really wanted to be a part of the huge riot. She'd be crap at it, but at least her flowers would have made decent whacking weapons.

Vincent buried himself underground. He said that's he's "Looking for a way beneath so he can find the source of the riot and destroy it". The source is unfortunately above ground. Also, the real reason he is underground is because he found a treasure map with X marked beneath a restaurant. Inside the treasure chest is supposedly a couple of thousand playboy magazines he wants to get his mitts on. Well, good luck to that.

What happened to Cid? He got married. Yup. He got married to a German prostitute and is now teaming up with Arnold Schweppesenegger and is robbing all the banks, sweets shops and zoos. Why rob zoos? You seriously don't want to know how easy it is to rob a couple of lions when you're on steroids.

Yuffi is working in a stripper club. She said she "Wanted to evade the riot". the stripper club was actually free from the riot, that was until Yuffi started one herself by shooting the barkeep with a double-barrel shotgun and jumping out of the window heading towards the Midgar Zolem. She rethought her actions and decided to head back to the club. She liked to be naked in front of a group of perverts.

Finally, we are brought to Cloud. Now Cloud, as thick as we all know he is, recently tried to slice a bullet in half with his Buster sword. Hm. Oh dear. As you can guess, he failed this attempt and is now lying crippled on the floor with two snapped ovaries (Don't ask) and one testicle. Ouch.

Thanks for reading, though it was a waste of your time. This is after all my first story, so please forgive me for the total crapness. Now how about clicking that wonderful little 'GO' button and tell me off for wasting valuable seconds of your life. Come on, don't waste my life too. I don't have a good sense of humour, I wasn't born that way. I was born out of an alien's mouth if you must know. Therefore I am cursed with never being funny…sob.